View Full Version : Wedding is Aug 20th, should I go through with it?
Can anyone give me advice? I am suppose to be getting married August 20th of this year and my fiance just told me he doesn't think I am the one he's suppose to be with. I have a feeling he met someone else. Should I puch to get married still or should I call it off because if he's having doubts now before the wedding what is it going to be like while we're married. I would hate to have it end in a divorce when I could have prevented it before hand!! What do you guys think?
LaceyinPgh
07-08-2005, 03:30 PM
There is NEVER a reason to push anyone into getting married. If he thnks he needs more time than you should respect that. Weddings are expensive and time consuming for every person invovled. There is no reason to put friedns and family through it if you and/or he are not 100% sure about it.
Tawnie
07-09-2005, 12:17 AM
Trust your female intuition. If you feel that their is someone else, chances are that there is.
WhiskeyGirl
07-09-2005, 01:19 AM
I agree. If you think that there is a remote chance that there is another woman I would be talkin to your man PRONTO! Get things straightened out now, so that you can call all the people you need to and let them know in advance if the wedding is off! Don't push yourselves into something you are unsure of, you will most likely only end up unhappy and divorced one year later or less for that matter.
But if on the other hand if there is no other woman then you can put your fears to rest and talk to him and make sure that you are both comfortable and ready. You may find that when you talk with him, you may both need a little more time. There is no shame in putting things off. Like Lacey said, weddings are expensive! In my mind they are not only expensive in money but they can be expensive on your heart if things don't work out.
Take your time and follow your gut, oh and talk to that man of yours! Best of luck!
~CanadianBride~
I just found out there is someone else. He went away for his stag about 3 weeks ago. And I guess he met her there. And hes gone back twice since his stag to see her. He said he doesn't know what it is but she just makes him happy and he feels things he doesn't feel with me. I can't believe this is happening. He reminded me that I have told him on many occasions that he's not the one for me, and maybe we just aren't meant to be together.. This really sucks!!
WhiskeyGirl
07-10-2005, 01:29 AM
Think of it this way Hun, no matter how much it sucks right now, think of how much it would suck to find this out too late. It's good that you have found this out now. Now all you have to do is figure out if you want to work through this or if this is it for the both of you. I'm sorry to hear this. Take care.
~CanadianBride~
LaceyinPgh
07-10-2005, 10:29 AM
Well, at least you found out now. It would be awful to find out 6 months after your wedding that all of that money, work, time, and emotion went for nothing because he has had someone else all along. Also. you are sparing yourself having to drag any potential children you might have through a lot of agony as well. I am sorry for you. Just write it off as one of life's horrible experiences. Take some time for yourself. Then go and find a real man.
stoneysgirl
07-11-2005, 08:27 AM
That is awful but at least you know the truth now. Divorces are no fun for anyone involved and who wants to waste a year or so of their time being unhappily married when you could be happy elsewhere! You deserve to find true happiness not be saddled with someone because you guys planned to. Good luck!!!!
sstark1218
07-11-2005, 02:30 PM
That is so awful that he would do that to you, but as the other girls said, at least it's not too late. I know it still hurts just as bad, but know you won't have to go through the pain of a divorce or not being able to trust him. Trust your instincts.. they're always right!!! Good Luck and God Bless You.
nataliesolly
07-12-2005, 05:16 PM
I think you have to turn the tables. If he has gone to all that trouble to tell you he needs you to decide for him. It must be very hard and I think you'll be so much happier if you get out. Remember that its something I don't think many a good woman could forgive alone forget. Good luck x
neeni13
07-15-2005, 01:20 AM
I know it might hurt now, but it might be for the best to get out now. Cancel the wedding, get back whatever you can on the things paid for already. You may need more time or not at all but you won't have the embarrasment of him not showing up for the wedding and then realizing he wasn't just getting the jitters
iluvweddings
07-18-2005, 09:15 AM
Cancel the wedding,
I think sometimes as brides - we look so much into the "wedding" that we forget about the actual marriage! Not that you did anything wrong, but... consider it a favor that you found out now. If he's not trustworthy, he won't be in 6 months either.
grace_smith03
07-31-2005, 11:16 PM
Megg,
I am so SORRY!
DUMP that fvcking loser ASAP! :evil:
HOW DARE he do this to you, to your families, to everyone involved!! What a complete a**hole! Let him come back on his knees, and then rekick him to the curb... :twisted: Grrr...cheaters. Better now than 10 years from now...
GL!
fotogrllt
08-02-2005, 11:00 AM
Sounds like your guy is giving you the old heave ho into the pool. Run do not walk from him as fast as you can. God is saving you from pure misery, not unlike the Stephan King novel. Me being the veteran of three divorces, get those refunds from the vendors, and put the money into a good mutual fund. At least the mutal fund won't tell you you're not the right one for me. In other words the guy is a loser, I speak from experience.
WebLady
08-02-2005, 06:13 PM
I agree with eveyone else here ... As for pushing him to get married, you should never push someone to do something they don't really want to do ... would you really want him to marry you if he didn't really love you?
Yes it sucks now but it is for the best ... call off the wedding, and move on.
I have been divorced and looking back I see all the signs I wish I had seen then ... my ex-husband was sleeping with our 18 yr old neighbor but I didn't find out until after the divorce.
Try to be positive about all this, take it for what it is and learn from it ... I know that is often easier said than done.
I did a wedding a couple of years ago; the groom was drunk, the couple were bickering through the whole day ... they ended up divorced before they got their wedding album back!
So you are lucky to have this come up now than to have gone through with the wedding and end up divorced.
Take a trip with some supportive friends and re-evaluate your life and "who you are" and don't rush into a new relationship any time soon.
Best of luck to you :)
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Mish11
08-11-2005, 12:07 PM
Hello! If you even have to ask yourself that question, you already know the answer... My Dad always says, there is no such thing as a hard decision. The only hard part is going through with what you have alreay decided... Sometimes it takes great courage just to close your eyes, follow your heart, and JUMP!
grace_smith03
08-13-2005, 02:18 PM
Megg, keep us posted, and good luck!
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