Stay at Home/Working Moms and Depression Good News!

[ChristineLS]

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/08/opinion/08coontz.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1

So the New York Times cites a briefing by the Council on Contemporary Families (a bunch of sociologists who compile the research on families and release it in non-academese) which notes that, contrary to prior research, stay at home moms do not report higher incidences of depression than their working counterparts if they desire to stay at home. If they would rather be working, they do report higher depression.

For years and years and years, stay-at-home moms were much more depressed than working moms, and maternal depression impacts child well-being in a negative way. This used to be across the board. Now that it is a matter of preference, the research suggest that woman who would prefer to work are, and it is also suggesting that overall mothers are in better places.

Essentially, when moms can do what is their preference, they are best off. It's not an issue of if working is best for their kids, or if staying at home is best for their kids. I don't know, I thought that was pretty cool, especially with so much cultural guilt surrounding any mothering decisions.

[KMS]

That's a really interesting study. Thanks for sharing! I have struggled with the working mom vs stay at home mom thing, myself. I still haven't found the perfect balance that maximizes my happiness, but I know that I will in time.

[Danielle9608]

Very interesting. I didn't even know about the prior study. At times I feel frustrated about being a fulltime working mom (seeing Averi only a few hours Monday-Friday, daycare issues, and just never having a moment to relax) but I think I would feel just as frustrated over different stuff if I stayed home...

[Smurfette]

I was a work from home mom before the twins came. I had an office that I used primarily for meetings but I chose not to renew the lease this past winter, saving me $700/mo.

Nowadays I only get computer time while I'm nursing or pumping and that time is so valuable I'm actually MORE productive with work. LOL. Before I'd mess around on the internet for hours before I even looked at my work files.

I will admit I had a severe bout of PPD immediately after the twins were born. I felt guilty that they were born early, I didn't enjoy my pregnancy, my husband was unemployed and jumping from job to job, there were so many stressors in my life. But I took my 2 week old newborns out in our new RV and went on a road trip, in the middle of a winter storm! It was great! It gave me a chance to reassess the reality of being a mom again at 35. I had to admit to myself that my body was not as young as it was when I was 20. I took stock of inflation and the costs of raising 2 children in 2011 and the fact that I still needed to save money for TeenBaby going to college in 4 years. Not to mention a wedding and 2 kids in the span of 10 months. We haven't even hit our 1st anniversary! Haha.

Anyway, staying and working from home has had untold benefits for us. Sophia and Grace will be 3 months this Sunday and I think I've been fortunate to have had the luxury to be here to nurse them on demand. The nursing definitely drives me crazy some days because it seems like I can't be far from them but that's when I tell my husband (who is currently employed but not working) that I need a break and they'll have to drink from a bottle until I pull it together. :shrug:

I'm not perfect. I take it day-to-day. :heart: