Who's the boss in your relationship?

[MOB Karen]

Let us know your answer to this question. :D

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

We make both of our decisions 50/50. We both have pretty dominant personalities so we have to share.

[WebLady]

For the most part we make decisions together and we usually agree. When we disagree, we talk it out, sometimes I win, sometimes he wins. I wouldn't say we really have a problem with this kind of thing.

[LizabethDavis]

We make decisions 50/50 really.

[hummingbird521]

I have to say on some things i am boss, but on others jerry is. if we completely dissagree it is usually about the kids so we just decide what is best for our own. but we never really have had any problems.

[Kacie_bride]

Well if you asked him it would be him and if you asked me I will say me a lot of times. When it comes down to it we're 50/50. We are both really hard headed!

[LaceyinPgh]

I would like to say that it is 50/50 because that is how it supposed to be. But, I have a far more dominating personality that is just used to getting her way. Sean is pretty laid back about most things. So I tend to steam roll with beacuse I *****, complain, and whine more. Also, I welcome confrontation while Sean steers away from it with a passion. I think on most things he is just happy to give me my way because he doesn't care and it is easier. But on the major stuff (big purchases, life changing decision, ect) we try to be 50/50 in the decision making.

[cowboysbride]

Eric and I both share pretty much the same views on finances, responsibilities, children (we keep the nephews 3 nights out of the week) and our goals etc..........I would have to say 50/50. I am very outspoken and very confrontational he is very laid back and reserved. We compliment each other well.

[Amber818]

I would like to say that it is 50/50 because that is how it supposed to be. But, I have a far more dominating personality that is just used to getting her way. Sean is pretty laid back about most things. So I tend to steam roll with beacuse I *****, complain, and whine more. Also, I welcome confrontation while Sean steers away from it with a passion. I think on most things he is just happy to give me my way because he doesn't care and it is easier. But on the major stuff (big purchases, life changing decision, ect) we try to be 50/50 in the decision making.

It is exactly the same for us except the complete opposite. I am Sean and Lacey you are Jason. I am very laid back and do not care either way how things go. Jason is usually the one who has the strong opinions about things. For example, Jason says, "Honey, What would you like for dinner?" I say, "I don't care. What do you want?" He says, "I don't care. You pick." I say, "Chinese." He says, "No, that doesn't sound good." I say, "Then what sounds good?" He says, "Mexican." Now point being I am as happy with Chinese as I am with Mexican; but Jason being the picky broad he is, is not! Now, on the other hand, Jason loves seafood....LOVES IT! But do we ever go to a seafood place? No, because just the smell makes me sick and he knows it so he doesn't even ask. But to compromise we put salmon in the reception meal. The End.

[ladymelissa]

For us it's 50/50.

This reminds me of a great comedy bit I heard. It was a male comedian:

When we got married we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the little ones. In 28 years we have not had a big decision yet.

[nikkiana]

Honestly, most of the time it ends up being me.... Sure, we definately talk about stuff so it's not just 'me me me' but if I didn't make the final decision on stuff, things would never get done.

[AllyM1]

He is the boss. I let him do things such as taking care of the finances, etc. I would like to have more say in a lot of things but I don't and that's just how it is.

Amber- Bryan is the same way as Jason. He'll ask where I want to eat at, then when i tell him a place, he'll say, "no pick something else.." It's really annoying bc he asks ME where I want to go, then when I tell him he says pick another place... It's so irritating when it comes to going out to eat.

When it comes to things such as buying a car, house, big screen tv, etc, it's both of us, but little stuff is basically him.

[mariaandmanish]

I said 50/50, but it really depends on the issue. There are some things that I just make decisions on, and others that he does. For big things, we really talk it out and figure out what would be beest for the two of us. And Manish is like Jason and Bryan with the dinner thing.... which is why when he asks where I want to go to dinner, I tell him to tell me where he wants to go, as he is definitely the picky one of the two of us!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

We are 50/50 because that's the way things are SUPPOSED to be in a relationship. The only time Matt makes a decision for me is if I don't care one way or another!! Some may say that they think Matt controls me because we are moving to be with his family but people would be shocked to know that I told Matthew that I wanted to go!! :D

[Amber818]

We are 50/50 because that's the way things are SUPPOSED to be in a relationship.

I have to admit the way you stated this irritated me a little bit (I do not think you meant it to be, just kind of hit a nerve)...but my birthday is tomorrow and I had a wonderful dress fitting with an amazing seamstress so I choose not to be irritated any longer. All I want to say is that I think it depends on how the couple wants their relationship to run. If recent divorce statistics tell you anything the way it's SUPPOSE to be is just not working...JMO. To each his/her own...

[WebLady]

I think what Shawna meant by "the way things are SUPPOSED to be" is that neither the man nor the woman should control the other, be the boss of the other or dominate the relationship. I think this way too. Relationships are partnerships and in that partnership we should do all things together, as a team.

However, sometimes one or the other tends to be better at certain things and the other doesn't care to be, so in such a case that person may give up control over some aspects of the decision making (I do it in some cases too) like Amber said, whatever works for you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can see Amber' point, sometimes I push away from things that society tell me I 'should' do ... I am definitely not the 'typical wife' and I have no intention of being so. But I don't think Shawna meant any harm (and I know Amber mentioned she didn't think so either) and I wouldn't have thought anything of it.

I don't know if I really had a point here, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and not 'butt in' with these kind of things, but I just hate to see these little sparks of 'heat' with all my friends here.

Amber, I'm glad your dress fitting went well today! I hope you have a great birthday tomorrow!!

[LaceyinPgh]

I just asked my husband. He says that I make more of the little daily decisions in our lives. Which is fine by him. But he does agree that for the huge life altering ones we do it together. He also says that I pull the resturant thing all the time. He asks, "Where do you want to go for dinner?" I respond, "I don't care." He says, "How about _____?" I respond with, "No, I hate it there." According to him that drives him nuts. But, after 7 years if he can't figure out what I do and don't like that really isn't my problem.

[LaceyinPgh]

He is the boss. I let him do things such as taking care of the finances, etc. I would like to have more say in a lot of things but I don't and that's just how it is.
If you are unhappy or disatisfied with how the decision making is going, you should speak up. I'm sure your husband wants you happiness above getting to decide where to eat or what cell phone plan to get. You aren't stuck in that lifestyle, you just need to take the step to change it.

[WebLady]

it is funny that several ppl have mentioned the where to eat thing, we do that alot ;) He will ask me what I want to do for dinner and I will be like "I don't know, what do you want to do?" LOL, we have a time deciding what or where to eat sometimes ;)

[LaceyinPgh]

it is funny that several ppl have mentioned the where to eat thing, we do that alot ;) He will ask me what I want to do for dinner and I will be like "I don't know, what do you want to do?" LOL, we have a time deciding what or where to eat sometimes ;)
To me it is more of the fact that I know what I don't want as opposed to what I do want. Sean on the other hand is just happy to have food. Shrimp fried rice or shrimp scampi, all the same to him.

[AllyM1]

If you are unhappy or disatisfied with how the decision making is going, you should speak up. I'm sure your husband wants you happiness above getting to decide where to eat or what cell phone plan to get. You aren't stuck in that lifestyle, you just need to take the step to change it.

Thanks. He has a more dominant personality then I do. I have always been this way. I guess maybe I need to come out of my shell.. I dunno. I'm always the one who will go along with a decision even if I don't agree with it just because I can't speak up.

I don't want to be in charge of the money. If I am in charge of the money, I will come home with new clothes, shoes, purses, etc every day and nothing would get paid. =)

When it comes to little stuff that I don't care about like, what we buy at the grocery store, I just let him decide, it's easier that way and I'm not picky.

[Valmai]

Oursis 50/50 but i spent a long time in a relationship in which he had the last say in most decisions. I look back and wonder when the transition happened but i think like Ally said i hated confrontation and he knew it, im easier going than he was and it just became easier to let him have his own way. After 23 years in such a relationship i still find it hard having someone consider my feelings as much as Jamie does - but we live and learn hey? xxx

[Kacie_bride]

One big decision Justin made without me really irritated me. When we moved here a year and 8 months ago I didn't even look at this house before he decided on it.

He had just graduated from college and had got a job down here. It was my idea for him to get a job down here because we are both from this area and a lot of our friends and my family is still here. Plus it is close enough (even though it is a pain and getting very expensive) to commute to school.

He found out about a week before he graduated that he got the job. That would have been in the middle of December and he was supposed to start working January 3rd of 2005. I was still working and after I put in my 2 week notice and my last day of work was December 28th or something like that. I do remember it was after Christmas. I worked at a clothing store so we had crazy hours that time of year. Needless to say I did not have time to come down here and look at rent houses. I didn't get down here until Christmas and then had to go back to go to work my last few days.

He found the house without me. I was a bit irritated because I thought the best thing would be to stay with my parents a few weeks while we looked. He really didn't want to do that. So here we are. We didn't have to sign a lease or anything. It's a nice house and I can have my dog and my cats. I know I would have agreed to rent here if I would have looked at it with him.
It just irritated me because I didn't feel like I had a say in it. The next time we move I will though.