Does anyone else ever get bummed out by the whole wedding thing?

[JennF]

I find that I keep wavering back and forth between being really happy about the whole thing and feeling really sick and tired of the whole thing.

Ok, so yes. I get to spend the rest of my life with the person that I love most in the world and throwing a party to celebrate it. That's good. But we're spending obscene amounts of money to do it. And that's bad. Then I'm excited because I finally get to meet Jonathan's parents...and I'm terrified because I'm finally going to meet Jonathan's parents.

This seems to be all boiling up on the subject of the wedding rings. We'd planned to spend a certain amount but now I'm balking at the whole diamond bit and trying to be conservative about the whole thing. But a tiny part of me is mourning the ring I wanted (or the idea anyway...I didn't have a specific ring picked out.) which is bizarre because I'm not a jewelry person at all. And Jonathan's frustrated because he maintains that if we have the money we should spend it if I want the ring. But of course, now it's too late because my guilt has kicked in. I'm feeling like a pathetic spoiled brat.

Do you see what I mean? I'm so muddled up right now and not happy at all. I just want to be married already.

And I'm totally venting...so I hope no one thinks I'm being too ridiculous. I'll probably come by later and rip the whiny and pathetic parts out of this post. :bbredface:

[ladymelissa]

I often wondered if spending all that money on one day would be worth it, but as it turns out, it was. You really only get to do all that once in your life and it really is a big deal (I know it sounds cliché, but it's true). I am not sure what the price difference in rings would be, but the one you really want might be a good investment. You don't want to stare at your ring every day and think, "Geez, $300 more and I could have had the one I really wanted, which is nothing compared to the thousands we spent on the day!" Or maybe if the one you really want isn't in the cards right now, you could always upgrade later.

I am sure his parents will love you. I think all of this is normal. Maybe you could take a day off from the planning from time to time and focus on yourself. Maybe workout or something, that really relieves stress. I got tired of planning toward the end, too. But our day was worth it and so will yours. I am glad it's over now, but it was so worth it when I look at our pictures. I hope you feel better. :)

[countrygirl]

Hey Jenn, I totally know how you feel. I am now less than three months away, and though I am so excited, I am done with it. I can't wait to get it over with so that I don't have the stress anymore, but I can't wait for the day because it will be so special.

Last night, Josh said I seemed more chipper than I have been lately. Sadly enough, that statement alone crushed the chipper part, and I was blah again.

I have so much to do, so little time, and part of me wants to just say FORGET IT!!!!!!!

I dont have any advice, because if I did, I would prob feel better myself. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone girl. I am right there with you.

Good luck.

[JennF]

I dont have any advice, because if I did, I would prob feel better myself. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone girl. I am right there with you.
Well it's nice to know that I'm not insane at least...or if I am, this means that you're just as insane as I am. ;)

You know what helps a little for me? (when I'm not obsessing about something like the ring) I like to think about this Christmas. We're holiday nuts, and I have to admit that I like thinking about our first Christmas together. I just keep thinking that after the whole thing is over I can relax.

[Twigler]

Like one of the girls said, you are only going to do this once, so make it worth while. Do what makes the two of you happy. I am really having to watch my budget, and it is really frustrating at times because I really want to make the day special. but then I think about what $$ I have already spent and I think about how that $$ could've been put towards a bedroom set, or be set aside to grow interest for a kid some day. It gets really frustrating and depressing at times!

About the ring thing, I think you really need to get the one you want. Like Ladymelissa said, you don't want to look at your finger for the rest of you life and regret your decision on being a like money savey. Just think, someday you can give the ring to your daughter (if u want kids that is).

Good luck and hang in there! You are almost to the big day and then you can just relax with your man and enjoy Christmas Together!!

[LizabethDavis]

I totally understand how you are feeling...I felt the same way. Somedays I was all about the wedding, other days I wanted it to just it to be over and done with. Don't worry, you will make it through this!

[StaceyMc]

I went back and forth over spending money on my ring. I bought one and then decided I wanted something else - returned the first one and ended up spending more on the second. I just couldn't decide what to do and felt guilty about spending the extra money.

Joe told me that once the whole wedding is over, that ring will be on my finger forever, so get the one I want. He made a lot of sense and I got the one I wanted.

Nothing in your post is whiny and pathetic, by the way. I got so frustrated with planning a few weeks ago that I gathered up all of my papers, the file and the planning schedule and threw it all in the "wedding box" and put the lid on it. Yep...that fixed everything (she said sarcastically)- I just had to get it back out a week later and finish what I was doing, but I felt better to just stop thinking about it for a week.

[Jenn060306]

You're definatly not alone Jenn. I think everyone has their days when they just want it all to be over. I did for sure. Sometimes i was totally loving the planning and not a worry in my world. But then somedays i was like 'Can i just run away to Cuba and get married there?!'
As for the ring you really should do what will make YOU happy. Of everything you will buy for the wedding. Your rings will be the one thing you will see every day and be a constent reminder of the wonderful man you married. Do you want to look at it and wish you had spent that extra bit of money for what you really wanted?

[cowboysbride]

I had my "OMG look at the amount of money we are spending days", but once it was over it was worth every red cent! As Melissa says I can look back at my pictures (which I got last night) and see the beautiful wonderful exciting day it was over and over.

As for the ring, that's a choice you will have to make, don't let anyone talk you into something you don't want but keep a realistic outlook on what you can afford, my mother and my sister started off with smaller rings and upgraded on down the road...

This is all perfectly normal sweetheart and the best advice I can give you is to concentrate on being happy and having fun....you will look back on this all and laugh eventually I promise!

[JennF]

Thank you to everyone for the kind words. They really have helped! And I have to say that this:

... I gathered up all of my papers, the file and the planning schedule and threw it all in the "wedding box" and put the lid on it. Yep...that fixed everything (she said sarcastically)...

Made me laugh out loud! :bblol:

I'm feeling better today. I've decided to just stop thinking about the rings and whatever else is bothering me at the moment. I don't have to decide today. (Just soon!)

Thanks again!

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

I feel that way all the time... I am super-hyper organized and have notebooks, spreadsheets, and folders for EVERYTHING. I have a lot of it out of sight when I start feeling overwhelmed or bummed out. Also me being bummed out about costs has motivated me to be more creative with cutting costs. Its amazing where you can save money...

I just got out of a wedding planning rut. I got scrapbooking stickers and decorated my notebooks. It makes everything a little nicer to look at and it was a huge pick-me-up while I was in the rut.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Well it's nice to know that I'm not insane at least...or if I am, this means that you're just as insane as I am. ;)

That will make at least three of us that are loopy :) I am into the last 2 weeks so I am questioning and wavering 24/7!!!! OH and we haven't found Hugh a ring yet!!!!

[Twigler]

I just got out of a wedding planning rut. I got scrapbooking stickers and decorated my notebooks. It makes everything a little nicer to look at and it was a huge pick-me-up while I was in the rut.

I am actually doing that with all of me wedding ideas...I bought a cheap scrapbook from Wal-Mart and I am putting all of my ideas into that and trying to be creative. I thought that would be neater to look at down the road once my wedding is over to see my whole thought process with the wedding. Plus, it will be a really cool keep-sake that I can look at later on.

[JennF]

I am actually doing that with all of me wedding ideas...I bought a cheap scrapbook from Wal-Mart and I am putting all of my ideas into that and trying to be creative.

About a year ago in the first stages of excitement, I bought a binder to store information. on a whim, I picked up some cheesy little wedding scrapbook stickers and some silver letters. Then I ended up using an excel workbook instead (works like a charm because you can attach hyperlinks to your notes and pictures so that you can easily go back to something you were looking at.)

Scroll forward to about a month ago. I printed out my workbook and put it all in the binder...and spent a happy half hour using the wedding stickers. I am ridiculously pleased with it. :)