The Chachra Wedding

[mariaandmanish]

I have already posted pics on the Wedding Picture Forum, but didn't really share the day, so I thought I would do it here. Actually, the whole event was multi-day, but.... :bbredface:

Wednesday, the 2nd is when it all really began. My siter and her children (4 of them) arrived from Florida, so I had to go pick them up. This would have been no big problem, except that they flew into Newark Airport, so I had to go over the George Washington Bridge. If any of you have ever been to NY, the GWB has more traffic than anything ALL day long! So, it took about an hour and a half to get to the airport (and I'm really only about 40 minutes away!!) The good news is, that I found them quickly and was so thrilled to see them! I hadn't seen them since last April when my husband and I visited them in Fla. It's so amazing how quickly kids grow and change. My sister's children are 14, 11, 9, and 3. She's got 2 girls and 2 boys (alternating, daughter then son). SO, I picke them up and noticed that my 14 yr old neice is into the Goth thing, so is dressed in all black, with long blackish-reddish hair.. her skirt she was wearing looked ragged.. her nails painted mostly black and blue. If she had her way, which thankfully she doesn't, she would have peircings all over her face too! THank goodness my sister won't allow that!!

Anyway, so I picked them up and we came home and had a nice dinner, cake for a friend's 21st bday, and went out to a bar down the street while my neice watched her siblings for a little while. It was really great to be able to spend the time with them before the craziness, you know?

My mother was also flying in on Wed, but since she was going straight to the hotel in NJ, my BiL was picking her up and taking her. That was a hassle for him, as her plane to bring her here was coming from Montreal (she lives in Maine) and there were lightning storms in Montreal. So, her flight which was supposed to land in Newark at 7:30pm didn't even take off from Portland until 7:45! My poor BiL had to stick around Newark for 4 hours just waiting for her, becuase it was kind of far for him to go home and come back! I sooo appreciated the effort he made! And, he and my mom hit it right off - it was the first time they'd met- and even now, a week and a half after the wedding, they talk online almost every day!
:bbmrgreen:

[mariaandmanish]

So, on Thursday we had to drive down to New Jersey to where the wedding and pre-wedding events were taking place. It's about an hour and a half from where I live to where my in-laws live. My other BiL, (who lives with DH and myself), drove me, and 3 of my sister's children down, along with our favors, and my dresses and other wedding documents. The poor guy had to take his speakers out of his trunk to fit our stuff in. I felt so bad, given that he'd put so much effort into the sub-woofer and speakers! :( :D My sister, Jen, waited at my house with her youngest son (Brendan) for Manish to get home from his half-day at work, and then they picked up the tuxedo's and headed down.

[mariaandmanish]

Right, so enough about bad stuff, right?

We arrived on Thurs, and I borrowed a car and went to Town Hall and picked up my wedding license. The important part, right?! Then went to the hotel where my mom was staying, picked her up and took her back to my inlaws house. My Dh's cousin arrived from Canada that night as well, so we basically had a nice family meeting and dinner. Most of his family and my family had never met, even though we've been together for 6 years, so it was good that they were able to meet in a more intimate setting than the party on friday or the wedding on sat. And, importantly, everyone seemed to get along very well, so that was really great!

Thurs night, I share a abed with my sister and youngest nephew. Interesting, but I slept, and that's really what matters! I wish I had pics of the families' meeting, but I didn't have my camera, so we lost out.

[mariaandmanish]

Friday, was a pretty busy day. The morning was quiet, we ate breakfast and hung around. Someone went and picked up my mom, some guests arrived, so we kept them comfortable. I shaved, you know... started to really get ready. DH had to go out and buy my sister's rings. Part of the wedding tradition in India is to give gifts to the bride's sister from the groom - shows acceptance that they are now his sisters as well. So, being the procrastinator that he is...he had to go out to do that on Friday! My MiL and Aunt-in-law, also had to go shopping to get a jewelry set for me... another part of the tradition. So, while everyone was out, it was nice and quiet, which I definitely appreciated!

Then, at 2:30, the girl arrived to do my henna. She had a book with patterns on them and I was able to choose if I liked, but for my hands and arms I let her choose. THey were all beautiful and I didn't know which to get, so it was easier. She started my henna at around 2:45 or so. I was basically sitting on the floor in their dining room holding up my arm and twisting it this way and that for an hour... then she started on the other one! It was exhausting!! and freezing!! Each hand took an hour, and once the henna was on both hands, I couldn't even pick up my glass of water because the henna would smear!! Luckily, I had great people around who would lift it for me, and they'd given me a straw too. The worst was that I had to have a friend feed me a banana cause I couldn't hold it myself!!!

Here's the arm henna finished (2 hours after she started...and in the pics she's working on my feet)
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/mehendhi2.jpghttp://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/mehendhi1.jpg

[mariaandmanish]

The way the henna works is this...

It is a greenish paste that is in a tube like a pastry tube. The end point is cut off, and the henna artist draws on your arm with the paste. After a little while, the paste dries and turns black, as seen in the picture. Where it is a little green, that's where it was still wet when the picture was taken.

Once it is dry, you make a mixture of lemon juice and sugar. Using a cotton pad, you pat the wet mixture onto the henna. This will make the end stain darker. The darker the stain is, the more your FH and MiL love you (or so says the tradition). Every once in a while, reapply the lemon mixture and pretty much just hang out. It makes everything really sticky and gross, but apparently worked, because when I finally washed the paste off at around midnight, my palms were almost black!!

[mariaandmanish]

So after she did my arms, she started on my legs, and I chose a very simple pattern there. First, I was exhausted and second, I was freezing and couldn't wait to get outside. As you saw, I was not covered very well as I did not want to ruin any good clothes with the henna. And the a/c was really high!! Once she started on my feet though, my MiL brought me a shawl and I felt better.

The legs/feet took a total of only an hour, and were really simple. Here's a pic of me when I was done...

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/mehendhi3.jpg

[mariaandmanish]

After I was finished (at around 6pm or so) the henna girl then put henna on everyone else basically. My mother, sisters, neices, stepmother, inlaws, and friends of the family, college friends : pretty much all of the women got henna tatoos of some sort. Even some of the male kids got some. Manish also got a tatoo on the palm of his right hand... our initials (MC) inside a circle. Yes, even before marriage we had the exact same initials... weird, I know.. lol

By that time, most of the guests for the party had arrived and so had the catered food. My aunts and uncles came from Mass. and NH., and a lot of guests from NY came as well. The party was great, lots of fun, and the weather had cleared, so we were able to be outside without suffering from heat exhaustion!! Everyone kind of stuck to who they knew, but that tends to happen at most parties, and everyone said they had a great time, so that was all that really mattered to me.
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/meandmomatmehendhi.jpgMe in the greenish/orange suit, my MiL in the blue next to me, Manish's cousin from Canada sitting down, and my Aunt-in-law is behind him in the tan colored suit.
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/maniandlouatmehendhi.jpgManish and our close friend Lou at the party. I pretty much only saw him for about a half hour the whole day before the wedding, which made my MiL happy as we shouldn't have even seen that much of each other!!

[mariaandmanish]

The party broke up at around midnight or so. At around 11, I said goodnight to most and headed inside, as I knew I had to be up by 6am. Before I could get to bed though, I had to wash off the henna from my hands and feet, and that took quite a while. But, when I was done, the henna was pretty dark and most people who saw that were pretty happy. Then, there was still quite a bit of noise, and my neices and nephews were in and out of the room I was sleeping in, so by the time I got to sleep it was around 1am.

My alarm was set to go off at 6:30, but my eyes popped wide open at 6. I was pretty excited, and just couldn't sleep anymore. I knew that I should get the last bit of sleep I could, but... oh well!

At 6:30, my father, mother, younger sister and uncle arrived to do the morning rituals that needed to be done. This included putting on the sacred bangles, putting a flour mixture on my (purification) and tying string on my right ankle and wrist. The bangles were a little too small for my left hand, and ended up cutting the skin, but otherwise it went well. When I get a good picture of the bangles, I will post it.

[mariaandmanish]

Part of the bangle tradition is that the bride can not see the bangles until after she has showered, so my uncle had to take clothes and tie those over the bangles before I could uncover my eyes. It's a bit annoying to have to take a shower with your arms covered in cloth!!! lol.

I also had these really annoying bangles that hung down about 2 inches from my wrist. They had little bells attached to them, and I was expected to wear those in the shower too, but I took them off because they got caught on everything!!

Anyway, after the shower, my younger sister and I drove to the salon where I sat for 2 hours to get my hair and makeup done. It took quite a bit longer than I wanted it to, and wasn't able to get photographs taken before the wedding because we were running so late. By the time I got back to the house, it was already 10:30 and the wedding was starting at 11:30. Plus, we had a half hour drive to the temple!!

The photographer was amazing though... he took a few photographs of me and my mother and sisters, and then off we ran to the temple. My neice (9yrs old) ended up throwing up in the limo, but luckily her mother gave her a cup so she threw up there, not on anything! I felt bad for her though, her little stomach was so upset, she ended up laying down through most of the ceremony. Luckily she felt a lot better during the reception.
:( :)


Time for dinner, will write more tomorrow or soon!!

[mariaandmanish]

(Back to the story now. I'm up this late because my husband got a head cold and is snoring so loudly that I can't sleep. Normally, I would toss and turn him until he stopped, but he's sick and I just can't do that to him when he's got to go back to work tomorrow!!:) )


So, we got in the limo - it was huge... 15 passenger and there were only 8 of us! lol.

We drove to the temple, and got lucky that we hit no traffic whatsoever. However, on the way there, my mom gets a call on her cell phone from my aunts and uncles that they got lost on the way to the temple. Slightly major issue, since one of those uncles was supposed to walk me "down the aisle" so to speak!! Arg! I was so frustrated, because they were like the 4th person in 2 days to get lost!!!!

So, I called my BiL at the temple, and told him to let my stepbrother know that he now had a new responsibility to escort me in if my uncle didn't make it in time!! Which, as it turns out, was what happened. Thankfully, my stepbrother didn't mind at all and did a great job.

So, we got to the temple and I was rushed inside. Manish was already there, sitting in his limo waiting. As soon as I got in, we ran around searching for a room for me to hide in, as the ceremony begins with a series of events including only my parents, and manish. Finally, we found a little hallway with stairs and a door leading outside in the back of the temple, where I, my sisters and stepbrother hung out for the 25 minutes or so that my parents were doing their stuff with manish.

[mariaandmanish]

The ceremony actually begins with a "party" outside with the groom and his family. A drummer comes and plays and the groom and his family dance as they walk to the door of the temple. When they get there, the bride's family meets them at the door and invites the groom in with a prayer and a blessing. Then Manish could enter the temple and go to the mandap to start the official ceremony. I, of course, did not see any of that as I was hiding in the back stairs and wasn't allowed to look out either.

After the part with mani and my family was over, I entered. I followed behind my sisters, and my stepbrother Tim escorted me in. When I got to the mandap, a friend handed me our wedding garland, and then I got to see Manish. As you can see, his face was hidden a little behind the traditional Indian headdress, but I could meet his eyes, and it was great. He had a great big smile on his face, and it was just the most memorable thing, I think of the entire day, the look on his face.

Anyway, once I was in front of him, the punditji said a few words, then we placed the garlands around each other's necks, and basically at that point we were already partially married!

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/wedding2.jpgYou can see the garlands okay here. They were both vey heavy and pulled on the duputta (veil) so I felt that it was even heavier than reality!!

[mariaandmanish]

We then got to sit down and proceeded to follow a series of religious traditions, including an offering to Krishna (the God), blessings from my father to us both, and the wedding rings exchange. Then, after that, we went outside for the part around the fire. Fire, in Hindu tradition, is very important and a part of any blessing or important event. It simbolizes purity and beginnings and endings, and basically blesses any event. So, we went outside for that, and thankfully the fire area was tented and rugged. It was kind of hot, so the shade was truly appreciated!!

We first did a series of prayers around the fire. Manish and I together added an oil/ghee mix to the fire when we said the words that mean "amen" and my father and mother and his mother added a spice that helps the fire to flare a little at the same times. Doing it together, manish and I, is part of being married... being in complete harmony and sharing the responsibilities and rewards.

Then, we completed a series of pheras, or circuits around the fire. Each phera has its own seperate meaning, and you can read it in my journal where I posted the program I created for the wedding. But, simply enough, for the first 4 times around, I led. Then, the last 3, he led. The fact that each of us was in the lead symbolizes that we are both capable of leading in our marriage, though in different aspects.

Here's us walking around the fire. You'll notice a red fabric tying us together, literally, the tying of the knot!
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/wedding17.jpg

[mariaandmanish]

At this time as well, our families have a roll. When I am leading, my family is patting me on the back, as if to wish me well and goodbye. And his family is showering us with flower petals, as if to welcome me to their family. Then, when he leads, my family showers us with petals, and his family pats him on the back. It was an interesting addition that I was unaware of until it actually happened, and was really liked by my family as it got them very involved in the ceremony. Luckily, by about 7 minutes into the ceremony, my aunts and uncles arrived, so they were able to participate in that. That's also who you can see in the background of the previous picture.

After the 7 pheras, we had another bit of time where we offered prayers to the fire. Then, we took our 7 steps. Each step is a vow, said by the punditji. When we take the step, we are basically agreeing to the vow. The vows are:

1. Together we share the responsibilities of a home and children.
2. Toegher we will summon the strength and courgae to accomplish all the needs of our home.
3. Together we will prosper and share our wordly goods.
4. Together we will fill our hearts with great joy, peace, happiness, and spiritual values. We will strive to speak kindly to each other and show our love.
5. Together we will raise strong and virtuous children.
6. Together we will remain life-long partners and friends.
7. Together we will cherish our eternal bond, in happiness and sorrow, so that we may gain salvation.

Personally, I love those vows. And even though I did not repeat them myself, I meant every one when I took each step.

[mariaandmanish]

So, after that part was over, we went back inside for the last part of the ceremony. Basically, we had another moment of a few prayers, and then Manish had to place the Mangal Sutra (sacred necklace) around my neck. The necklace is the traditional Indian wedding jewelry. Like wedding bands, the mangal sutra is not to be taken off as it is the symbol of a married woman. At this time also, Manish and 5 married women had to place a red powder called sindoor into the part of my hair. Also, a symbol of a married woman. In addition, I received a gift of jewelry (necklace, bangles, and earrings) from my new "parents" as indication that I am now their family and I will be treated with respect and love and well taken care of.

This is a picture of my mangal sutra.http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/mangalsurapic.jpgI basically have not taken it off since the wedding, except to get a massage while on our honeymoon. And, as soon as the massage was finished, it went back on. I love it, and just proves to me that Manish knows my taste in jewelry, because this is beautiful.

Also, FYI, the mangal sutra is always gold with black beads. That is the tradition. So, that's what I got!


Anyway, it is now WAY too late for me to be awake, and it sounds as though DH has stopped snoring for the time being, so I am going to try to get to bed. Will continue next time I'm on! Hope this is not too much!!

[brewsells]

Thank you for going into such detail about the ceremony, Maria. I really loved reading about it! And everything was gorgeous. I also love your mangal sutra. Very pretty.

[mariaandmanish]

So, as soon as the sindoor was over, the pundit announced us as Mr. and Mrs. Chachra. It was really cool! I loved my ceremony... it was longer than a typical ceremony, but it was very memorable, and that was really important to me. Also, my family was really great about it all, participated and seemed to really enjoy it. My father even tried to repeat things in Hindi that the priest asked him to say, and even sat on the floor when he's got really bad arthritis. He was in pain in his knees for the whole night, but didn't complain once and really enjoyed himself anyway.

After the wedding was over, one of Mani's cousins got us a plate of food as we were having a luncheon immeditately. And then the receiving line began so it was nice to have the people come to us! Then, we took an hour or so in the temple to eat, and hung out in a nice informal setting talking to people. There was both Indian food and American/Italian food there, and we got a plate of each and then shared our food. The food was really good, both kinds, so everyone seemed happy.

Then, before we left, Manish, his mother, aunt, and brother went over to the main part of the temple to pray and show our respect. When we were ready to leave, the main pundit of the temple (a different one than performed the ceremony) came over and blessed us and gave me a duputta (shawl) for over my head, which came off of the god, and I was told to keep. It was a very big deal, and completely unexpected. Manish's mom and aunt were smiling like you wouldn't believe, and I felt very honored. I have to find a place in the house to put the duputta I got, and am trying to find a place by the Hindu alter we have in the house.

Then, on our way out, Manish had to pay to get his shoes back!! Part of the tradition. First, no one can wear shoes inside a Hindu Temple. And second, if we'd had it in a house, no one could wear them under the mandap either. So, when he came into the temple he had to take his shoes off. And, as per the tradition, my sisters had to steal his shoes, and they couldn't give them back to him without him paying them for them!

[mariaandmanish]

So, Manish negotiated with my sisters, and ended up paying each $60, and gave them the rings (18ct white gold) that he had purchased for the purpose. It was nice, and my sisters made nice money, just for shoes!!! It was fun. I hope that the photographer got a picture or two and that the videographer got it as well. The thing is, that during the wedding, reception, and otherwise, I wasn't very aware of where the photographer and videographer was, as I was more interested in having fun and enjoying my day!! I can't wait to see the professional shots, but I have to wait another couple of weeks.:(

After that, Manish and I left in our limo and headed back to his brother's house. People were supposed to follow the other limo, and missed it and ended up getting lost. But, again I refused to let any of that bother me too much. I was trying to stay as stressfree as possible!!!

When we got to the house, there was another "veremony" we had to go through before I could go into my inlaws house. We had to go together to the front door of their house, and my SiL had to basically pray and bless us to invite me in as a new member of the family. Then, to finish it, I had to knock over a bowl of rice over the threshold, as blessing and offering to the house. Then, we had to pay ($2) to actually enter. It was pretty quick, and then we could all go inside.

Once inside, we had to play a game with our wedding rings. Basically, we (my SiL) dropped them at the same time into a bowl of water and milk. We had to reach into the bowl and try to be the first one to get them out. Traditionally, the first person to get them our would be the person who will win arguments in our relationship. You have to try to grab them three times. Well, as it turns out, we each got each other's ring at the same time, so we basically tied!! It was a fun game, though my dress got a bit wet... not that milk and water could harm it!!

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/ringgame.jpg

[mariaandmanish]

When that was over, we had to untie the strings that had been tied around our right wrists and ankles that morning. My family had tied them, and had no idea that he had to fight to untie them, so made it wasy for him. His aunt tied his for him, and they were tied pretty tightly, so the one around his ankle took a while! But, I got them and it was just another fun thing to do.
http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/untyingtheknot.jpg

[mariaandmanish]

And that was the wedding. Long, but as you can see, really memorable.

After that, we had til about 6 til the reception started. So, the woman who did my hair and makeup came and I spent way too long getting that changed for my reception. But, in the end, I guess it was worth it, as I look decent in the pictures that I've seen so far!!

So, when I sent the favors over to the reception venue, I had forgotten to send the place cards, so a lot of our guests were there for the cocktail hour, and had no idea where to sit. We told them to mingle, and sent someone over with the cards, but he got lost, so we ended up getting there before he did! lol!

Anyway,we got there at around 7:30 or so, and got introduced at about 7:50. The place cards arrived, so everyone found their seats. I got there and found out the cake had not been delivered, so the staff at the hall called the bakery and we found out that the wrong date had been put on the order!!!! ARG!!! :censored: :censored: !!!! That was the only thing, truly, the whole day that really got to me... I was crying just from the frustration of it all, right as we're standing in line to be introduced!! Not good!!!! But, our guests thought I was just reallly happy and that's why I was emotional, so that was good!!!lol

Anyway, the reception venue staff were amazing and had the bakery make our cake and bring it over. So we did have cake, and it arrived at about 9:30, so that was all that really mattered!

Our reception was great... I danced, laughed, talked to people, and just basically had a great time. I didn't really have much to drink at all, as I was busy having fun, but did manage to eat. We had a buffet, so it wasn't formal that way. The food was good, spicy, but really good. And all of our guests have sent us email telling us that they had a great time.

We were there til midnight, when the place closed down, and then we drove home to get our luggage to go to the airport and left on our honeymoon. We were up for 24 and a half hours straight, and I was exhausted by the time we got on the plane, but it was sooo much fun and so worth it!! And, now, we're Mr. and Mrs. Manish Chachra!!! THat's the coolest of it all!!

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/wedding10.jpghttp://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l71/mariachachra/reception4.jpg

I hope you've enjoyed the rendition of my day, and that it wasn't too boring. I will share my honeymoon and pics as I get them!!

[Valmai]

It all looks and sounds wonderful - you looked beautiful!! We were in Cardiff yesterday and there was an Indian wedding party arriving at this huge venue and we sat watching all the beautiful/elaborate clothes that the people were wearing and i wondered how urs had gone (todays the first time ive had chance to pop on). Thanx for sharing with us, wish our weddings were so colourful! xxx