Just a vent about my best friend (long, sry)

[70707Bride]

* Names changed for privacy

Ok, so let me start off by saying that this guy, Bob*, started working with my best friend/MoH, Suzie* and I, about 2 months ago. Just about 2 weeks ago Bob & Suzie started dating. Suzie lives with her G-Ma who is overly protective and does not approve of her even hanging out with Bob (reasons I will explain later), so she can't even tell her G-Ma that they're dating.

-A little about Bob: he basically has a history. I don't know how long ago this happened (I know over a year), his fiance and little girl were murdered by her ex because "if she couldn't be his and the child his, then they would be nobody's", so he killed them. When Bob was done with the guy (he called the cops first to tell them they had better get to this guy first), and the last time he put his foot thru this guy's head, his foot was touching the ground. Anyway, so he went to prison for about a year for defensive manslaughter and then they pretty much forgot about him.

Bob's mom is basically a druggie and started to not let Bob take a shower in her house, so he packed a few things and started living in his car (this was just this past week). He still has stuff at the house but his mom has a restraining order against him now and is now sueing him for "rent" of his things taking up space (she just wants drug money). He can't even go there and get it.

So Suzie and Bob have been dating for these past 2 weeks. Starting this past week, he has been telling her that he loves her and apparently they decided that if they are still together in 2 years they will get married. Everyone at work acts like they hate him now and Suzie too. One manager is spreading rumors about Suzie saying that she's a slut, has a different guy every night. Bob wants to move to where she lives now so they can be together because she and her G-Ma get into huge aruguments about hanging out with him. Every one is afraid she's gonna get hurt. No one really knows anything else about him. Now, he is a pretty nice guy and has never done anything to hurt her.

Tonight at work, FH calls and wants to talk to me. He wanted to know where Bob was staying because no one could get a hold of her (her phone was dead) and who knows what could have happened to her. I know that he's living with a guy we work with and FH wanted me to ask him for his address. He wouldn't give it to me (I mean can you blame him?). He doesn't know my FH (or that he worked there previously too). But the manager was basically saying that he shouldn't be trying to get information and said to me "do you want ME to talk to him?!" and I was like "No!" and slammed the office door.

Suzie came in shortly after that with Bob, good thing she's ok. She was mad that her family was worried about her. I mean, wouldn't you WANT someone to care about you? I just got the feeling that the manager and this guy that Bob lives with now, doesn't care if she even got killed. Because "she's 21 and she can take care of herself". If he hasn't noticed by now, she's a little naive and regardless of your age, there's nothing wrong with having people care about you.

Ok, sorry, I just had to vent and don't really know what to do about anything.

[mariaandmanish]

Wow, what a tough situation! I can certainly understand why Suzie would be upset about people being worried, given that it's mostly from not understanding Bob, and yet at the same time, I can understand why people would be worried about her. I can't even understand what Bob must have been feeling losing the people he loved most that way, and am happy for him that he seems to be able to move on with someone new. I hope that this situation eases very soon, and that everything stays well with Bob and Suzie and that they both find things a lot easier for their own lives as well! I will keep them in my thoughts.

[70707Bride]

More to this story:

Monday, Aug 14, Suzie brought Bob over here to our house (that her, my FH and I are sharing now). Apparently, Bob wants to move here to be with Suzie more and needs to find a job too. He was supposed to do that on Monday (which they didn't). He wanted to know if he could crash with us until he gets a place of his own. Now, we told him that we'd all talk about it and let him know (he'd just live in his car otherwise).

Well, on Monday night, Suzie started not feeling well and didn't want to drive back home, so her and Bob just stayed the night at our house. We told him that he can eat whatever he finds and such, trying to make him feel welcome. He woke up in the middle of the night, freaking out because he didn't know where he was (he has several problems).

I talked to Suzie today, and she said that he felt like he wasn't welcome and he didn't know if he should stay with us. But now I don't think that would even be an option. Here's why: FH took this old hook lock off of the bathroom door a while ago. Suzie has this thing with locking the door because she's paranoid. She asked me where it was and I told her we took it off, because if we all have to share the bathroom, then you can't lock us out if you're in the shower or something. I guess she told Bob that if wasn't there anymore, and he was getting paranoid for her too, because now he knows that she's living with another guy (like FH would walk in on her, right?). I told her that she picked this relationship and she's gonna have to deal with it and its not going to affect how we live. Its not his business whether or not we have a lock on the bathroom door.

Now I'm afraid of what he could do if he goes insane again, since he knows where we live and all. I don't now what to do, Suzie doesn't understand where we're coming from. Any advice?