Bad things to say on your wedding day!!!!

[hummingbird521]

I thought this might be a fun game to play. We might all have a few good laughs on it. I will start this one off:


"Honey, I invited the ex wife cause I knew she would love to see the kids in the wedding".

My husband actually done this. :censored: She didn't come after her and I talked.

[AngelinLove]

Wow....I didn't think that we would actually go through with this!!!

[hummingbird521]

Wow, You're quick!!!!:bbredface:

[AngelinLove]

Uhmmm...honey...yeah...there is something I need to tell you about last night......(whatever it is, it's trouble)

[Valmai]

Before we do this i need to confess about something . . .

[hummingbird521]

Baby, I am sober today!

[cowboysbride]

I John take you Mary (her name is Paula)..................................

[cowboysbride]

UHMM UHMMM UHMMMMMMM (instead of I DO)!

[hummingbird521]

Maybe our parents were right and we should wait.

[hummingbird521]

Your FH looks at you and says "honey, is that a zit on your nose"?

[Kacie_bride]

Are you sure you should be eating that cake? You've gained a little weight lately.

[hummingbird521]

man to woman:


"I just don't think I am ready to commit yet".

[hummingbird521]

Here's your wedding gift honey. I took out an insurance policy on you today.

[Kacie_bride]

Officiant (........till death to do us part)

man: (I think I'm going to be sick.)

[cowboysbride]

While putting the ring on his finger......."it's not going on, I'll spit on it!" I SAID THAT SWEAR TO GAWD!

[hummingbird521]

You mean we were supposed to get a license?

[hummingbird521]

My husband actually said this one. Right after the pastor pronounced us man and wife.


"Get er done"

[Kacie_bride]

My husband actually said this one. Right after the pastor pronounced us man and wife.


"Get er done"

LOL! I would have died!

[cowboysbride]

Well I said this one...."Don't look your dad just dropped the ring (snicker)!"

[countrygirl]

Man to wife

"Now i have the ownership papers". THat is whawt J calls them.

[CindySue]

Man to wife

"Now i have the ownership papers". THat is whawt J calls them.
I do too!!!!!

Ummmmmm Honey, I just found out my ex wife never actually signed the divorce papers.

Or ours: Oh S H I T!!!!! We forgot to finalize the prenup!!!!!!

[hummingbird521]

or how about:

Oh honey, let me introduce you to my kids? Didn't I mention them to you?

[CindySue]

or how about:

Oh honey, let me introduce you to my kids? Didn't I mention them to you?
Thats a good one!!!!!!!

[hummingbird521]

or let's see:

I told mom and dad they could move in and help us for awhile.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Honey, let me introduce you to my old cell mates ......

[hummingbird521]

Honey, let me introduce you to my old cell mates ......


oh, really good one elizabeth. that would make you turn tail and run down the aisle. :bbeek:

[CindySue]

oh, really good one elizabeth. that would make you turn tail and run down the aisle. :bbeek:
I would too!!!!!!!!!

Um Honey.......I just found all the weding invitaions you asked me to mail in my truck.........

[brewsells]

I would too!!!!!!!!!

Um Honey.......I just found all the weding invitaions you asked me to mail in my truck.........

LMAO!!!! I love that one!!

[hummingbird521]

I think the infection has just about cleared up now.

[CindySue]

I think the infection has just about cleared up now.
Ewwwwwwww!!!!

Wife to husband:
Honey, I guess I need to tell you I used to be a man........:bbeek:

[hummingbird521]

Baby the labor pains started a little bit ago.

[SerendipityCrafts]

This is my uncle Tony Soprano ... he's from New Jersey and he has a proposition for you.

[countrygirl]

Wife to husband..

"I do, oh, did I tell you yet that I'm preg?"

[WebLady]

I am sitting here LMAO at you guys :bblol: I can't think of anymore right now, but thanks for the laugh ;)

[countrygirl]

wife to husband........

"You did say you are worth millions, right?"

[SerendipityCrafts]

1. Excuse me for just a second .... i have to take my meds. It's part of the court order.

2. (Overheard) No no I didn't want the rat poison delivered to the reception hall!!!!

[countrygirl]

Excuse me for just a second .... i have to take my meds. It's part of the court order.

I like that one.

"Hang on honey, I have to take my teeth out for a minute, my gums itch."

[ladymelissa]

"So how many days did the doctor say you had to live again?"

"Darling, I want you to meet Freddie G, he's my ex pimp from back in the day."

[SerendipityCrafts]

I like that one.

"Hang on honey, I have to take my teeth out for a minute, my gums itch."

Ewwww!!!! ROTFLMAO

[SerendipityCrafts]

Meet Dr. Cutz ... the doctor who did my sex change op.

Edited to add - ooops I see this one has already been done

[WhiskeyGirl]

MAn to future wife:

"Did I tell you your *** looks big in that dress??"

THUMP...Man hits floor!!

[hummingbird521]

Yes, I object

[CindySue]

Um.......what was your name again?

[AngelinLove]

"You know we gotta take that ring back tommorow, right?"

[countrygirl]

Man to priest

Can we hurry this up, the race is about to start!!!

[hummingbird521]

Man to priest

Can we hurry this up, the race is about to start!!!

This is true though. We actually planned our wedding around the races that weekend. :D

[hummingbird521]

man to priest:

Look my soon to be bride is a virgin. Let's hurry this along I have waited enough time now.

Hope this does not offend anyone.

[countrygirl]

This is true though. We actually planned our wedding around the races that weekend. :D

The sad thing is our wedding is on NASCAR weekend out her, and we wanted to go.

[mlm063007]

"So how many days did the doctor say you had to live again?"

"Darling, I want you to meet Freddie G, he's my ex pimp from back in the day."

LOL, those are great!!

All of them are great, unfortunatley I cant come up with any, but keep them coming!!

[CindySue]

I cant wait to take you home to meet my other wives.........

[hummingbird521]

My divorce should be final in a few hours.

[mariaandmanish]

Husband (or wife)...


"umm... uh-oh..." with a wide-eye look

[LizabethDavis]

I'll Try


(Instead of I Do)

[PurpleFlower]

these are all really good I will try to come up with some!!

[kevinsbride2B]

"This reminds me of my first wedding!"

[CindySue]

"This reminds me of my first wedding!"
Oh...thats a good one!!!!

[PurpleFlower]

I don't think you understand my needs as a woman.

[hummingbird521]

God will this day ever be over?

[mrsoctober]

i planned for months and months and all i get is this lousy ring?!

[hummingbird521]

Tell me what was your name again.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Tell me what was your name again. ROTFLMAO

Excuse me while I adjust myself - a man's gotta scratch when a man's gotta scratch!

Wanna hear me burp the ABC's?

[cowboysbride]

I never really liked your mom anyway!:bbeek:

[hummingbird521]

Bride to Groom - My little monthly friend came to visit today.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Yes! Now that you are my husband, I don't need to have sex with you anymore.

[Goin2thechapel]

I thought this might be a fun game to play. We might all have a few good laughs on it. I will start this one off:


"Honey, I invited the ex wife cause I knew she would love to see the kids in the wedding".

My husband actually done this. :censored: She didn't come after her and I talked.
hahahahahaha this made me laugh soo hard!!!

[CindySue]

Yes! Now that you are my husband, I don't need to have sex with you anymore.
Theres a joke here in Texas. Do you know why the bride is smiling so big in her wedding portaits? She knows she has given her last "BJ"!

[BriansBride07]

"Sweetheart I thought I would let you know that i've been having an affair on you for the past 2 years" "Just wanted to get that off my chest before we walked down the aisle"

[WebLady]

"Oh, did I tell you we are going to be on Jerry Springer?!"

[NicksBride]

DOn't worry hunny, the green color on your finger from your ring will wash off in a few days.

[rainbowtreat]

Do we HAVE to do this?

[SerendipityCrafts]

(At the reception)

I don't think you ever told me what your mother did for a living! Honey stop her - she's over in the corner taking off her clothes and she's about to jump onto the bar!

[NicksBride]

Did I ever tell you my life long dream was to see how long I can go with shaving my legs? Starting NOW

[hummingbird521]

Honey we can't go on our honeymoon because I have to check in with the parole officer.

[rainbowtreat]

Did I forget to tell you, my divorce from my first husband is nto final yet.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Oh that guy? He says he has a warrant for your arrest.

[NicksBride]

I don't live having sex anymore...

[rainbowtreat]

Why didn't you tell me your brother was so **** goodlooking.

[NicksBride]

Honey, I think I am gay...

[BriansBride07]

Ummm.. dear i'm pregnant and your not the father.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Ummm.. dear i'm pregnant and your not the father.

.... your father is the father

[rainbowtreat]

.... your father is the father


..... I think, or is it your step-dad, I can't keep those 2 straight.

[SerendipityCrafts]

..... I think, or is it your step-dad, I can't keep those 2 straight.

then again, it might be your brother's or uncle's child. :)

[hummingbird521]

Heck, who knows. Their isn't one person here who I haven't been with including the minister.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Heck, who knows. Their isn't one person here who I haven't been with including the minister.

ROTFLMAO! :)

[rainbowtreat]

Heck, who knows. Their isn't one person here who I haven't been with including the minister.

I'm with you on that one Elizabeth LMAO here That was good.

[racecargirl]

For anyone who watches Desperate Houswives. The last episode.

Did you kill your wife?

[BriansBride07]

For those that wait until there wedding night " I forgot to tell you I had a sex change I was born a man/women."

[NicksBride]

Ehh, this will do for my first marriage.

[FCristina]

Honey, maybe we should wait and think a little bit more...

(Ok honey...on that case, maybe YOU want to be :chair: :chair: :censored: )

[FCristina]

You lock so beautifull as my ex. You make me to remenber my first wedding day.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Next time I'll do things differently!

[countrygirl]

"This is just my practice marriage!!".............has that been used yet?

[hummingbird521]

Darn it but you look different in the light of day!!!!

[Italianobabe_89]

I'm gay..wouldn't that be horrible to find out then?

[BriansBride07]

UMM I think we should reconsider this relationship?

[jeni740]

I cant seem to get rid of this itch

[Goin2thechapel]

I cant seem to get rid of this itch
hahahahahaha......I love this one!! Gross but soo funny!!

[rainbowtreat]

Yeha you will do for my first marriage.

[SerendipityCrafts]

*When the bride reaches her FH's side before the officiant*

NO woman of mine is going to wear a dress like that - go change!

[hummingbird521]

*When the bride reaches her FH's side before the officiant*

NO woman of mine is going to wear a dress like that - go change!

or when she gets there he says "darn woman, that bach party musta been rough"

[lea m]

Groom to bride
"whos the babe in the pink dress?"

[SerendipityCrafts]

Groom to bride
"whos the babe in the pink dress?"

Do you think you could hook us up after this party?

Do you think she'd be interested in a threesome?

[cowboysbride]

Do you think you could hook us up after this party?

Do you think she'd be interested in a threesome?

Hey...I thought you didn't want to invite people we'd had a past with??? (talking about the babe in the pink)

[BriansBride07]

Bride to Groom--- This is Joe and we have been seeing each other for 2 years.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Honey .... I "borrowed" a little money from work the other day and guess what?! We are moving to South America! You'll love it. Now go say goodbye to your Mom and Dad.

[hummingbird521]

Groom to Bride - Honey I don't want to stress you out but the kids you insisted on inviting ran into the cake table and we now have an upside down cake to possibly cut.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I thought YOU told everyone that we changed the ceremoney location!

[SerendipityCrafts]

Now you can't testify against me can you?

[Goin2thechapel]

Groom to Bride---This whole wedding thing was your idea...not mine!!

[hummingbird521]

Did I tell you I hate large crowds? Let's elope now.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Why didn't you tell me that your Mother was so sexy?

[WhiskeyGirl]

honey, I slept with your mother last night. I didn't mean for it to happen, but she just came onto me!!!

[SerendipityCrafts]

Man to wife ....

My bachelor party? It was amazing and so was your father! The best part was when I woke up to find your Dad, still lying next to me.

[kevinsbride2B]

"Can you belive they let me where white?" (in front of the inlaws)

[BriansBride07]

Bride to groom " I told you we couldn't have the wedding this week my Red Friend just came to town"

[jeni740]

Can we move it along the race starts in 10 minutes

[BriansBride07]

BRIDE TO GROOM "Your not the father of baby Billy is actually my cousins baby"

[rainbowtreat]

the bride to any one listening.... Which one is the groom?

[SerendipityCrafts]

Groom to bride ....

Honey... Momsie is taking this wedding thing rather hard so I agreed to sit next to her sitting next to her during the ceremony. I told Momsie that it wouldn't be a problem.

[hummingbird521]

let's resurect this old game.

i'll start:

oh honey you look sexy in that gown. do you think we have time????? smiling here.

[RevMatty]

It's only a dream, it's only a dream.

[shelbyoliver]

Groom is on his third marriage and he cant stay still or say the vows seriously...he can bareley say them at all....

I was a witness at this one...

[thinking_much]

"Who are you!" (groom saying to the bride at the altar)

[frenchie]

Ex-boyfriend comes running in saying "I object".

Bride - Oh I KNEW you'd come!

[Goin2thechapel]

hehehe...I like that last one!! LOL ;)

[tootsie]

Bride to her father:

Thanks for not bringing that horrible wife of your's! :D

[RevMatty]

Minister: I may now kiss the groom/bride.

Who's lipstick is that?

[Nekochanpurr]

Honey, i decided i'm going to stop shaving my pits.. I stopped a month ago. Do you think that strapless dress is still ok??

[bichonlvr]

Bride to her father:

Thanks for not bringing that horrible wife of your's! :D

I have actually heard this one before the wedding...Bride to her dad you are NOT bringing your wife!!!!

[tootsie]

I have actually heard this one before the wedding...Bride to her dad you are NOT bringing your wife!!!!

Hehehe, too funny! My dad is not bringing his wife, thank goodness! :D

[frenchie]

Bride : "Darling, I handed you the knife to cut the cake, not to menace my mother!"

[jasonscountrygirl]

When the officiant ask "do you...." you say " ummmm yeah not so much"

[horse345]

(During the ceremony) Will this ever END?

[kgvettegirl]

Yeah babe do you think I could wear that dress after your done with it?

[SerendipityCrafts]

Yeah babe do you think I could wear that dress after your done with it?

You know .... it's so different to the other dresses that I have in my closet, that my former wives wore :)

[mitch]

Groom: Why's that Man giving you away, He's My Dad too!

[NowAShelton]

oooooohhh you said MARRY you...wow...this is embarrassing...

[Qtpie]

Honey...I can't remember where I put the rings last night.

[Ninedays9]

"We only get to keep the gifts if we actually get married........right?"

(Idea came from Friends.)

Groom: I've been meaning to tell you... at the bachelor party... I ran into (name of maid of honor here) and sort of.... got her pregnant. Oops.

[RevMatty]

Minister: Sorry but their is no refunds, substitutions, or exchanges. All sales are fiinal.

Minister: Discount for couples I married; Circumcisions of new borns, half off sale.

[Aleta]

My FH and I recently went to a meeting with the Priest to cover the ceremony. At one point he said that baptisms are said, "I will, with God's help."

Interestingly enough, it's only "I Will" for weddings. My FH cracked a joke and said, "I can just see Aleta saying, "I Will, Oh, God HELP ME!" Hehe... I'm going to be thinking of that and busting out laughing during the ceremony!

[RevMatty]

Gina's Idea: "Your not what I heard, from the other guys." "I was waiting for that!!!???"

[Jacobs_Girl]

On the wedding day:

husband: So, when are we getting married again?

Honey we already had sex I dont think you should wear white today

[bridal1]

Wow guys...u are very creative!I dont have any idea.