Is it bad etiquette to indicate your bridal registry within your wedding invitation? [Archive]

WebLady

08-08-2006, 10:57 PM

I say yes ... it sort of defeats the purpose of asking for "the honor of your presence" KMIM It looks to some like you just want a gift. ;) I got an invite a while back from one of DH's cousins whom I have never met and he hadn't seen since they were kids, and it had a registry notice on the bottom on the invite :bbrolleyes:

I say get a wedding website and talk about it there and spread the word through the family.

But if you are going to do it, I say put in a separate card, don't put anything on the actual invite.

LaceyinPgh

08-08-2006, 11:00 PM

It is a yes for me. I just don't like it. I mean you are inviting me to share your day with you. I feel that putting that on the invitie is like you asking me to spend the day with you while telling me what I can buy for you. I would never go to a wedding without bringing a gift. Just put it on your website. Or if you don't have a website, you did invite me to your wedding. I should be close enough to you or your family/friends to call and ask if and where you are registered. It isn't rocket science. If you need gifts THAT badly, skip the wedding, take up the saved money, and go to Macy's and get what you really and truly HAVE to have.

SerendipityCrafts

08-08-2006, 11:19 PM

I agree with the others. Not only is is bad etiquette, I feel it's rude.

I feel it's presumptuous to assume that anyone is going to give you a gift. If you are looking for particular thing(s) or money .... perhaps it's best if a someone spreads the word. :gathering:

Side note ... I have heard that this could be a geographic thing. Some brides & guests have told me that it's common practice (where they live) to list their gift preferences (money or registry info) on their invites. I just don't get it.

Kacie_bride

08-08-2006, 11:53 PM

WhiskeyGirl

08-08-2006, 11:56 PM

I actually prefer to recieve an invite telling me where they are registered! I DO NOT Want to waste my money on a gift that I know they may not like or might not be able to return. The times are changing and I think it's alright. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Just because I stuck one in all of my invites does not mean I expected anything from ANYONE, but I wanted people to know where they could look if they wanted to.

mlm063007

08-09-2006, 12:12 AM

I dont think that it is proper etiquitte. I think that if someone wants to know where you are registered they can ask a member of the family.

Amber818

08-09-2006, 01:30 AM

I voted YES it is bad etiquette.

SoontobeMrsClark07

08-09-2006, 02:05 AM

I think its bad etiquette to do that. I will be including our website in the Save the Dates and it will have our registry info on the site, but that will not be included in the invitations.

mj512

08-09-2006, 06:13 AM

In at least the area in the mid-west that I live in I have NEVER recieved a wedding invite without a registry in it. How in the world would I know what to buy, if there isn't a registry included most people around here just assumed they aren't registered and look no further?? Maybe it is just the area of the mid-west that I am in in which everything is just simple and no one really cares if you put a registry in there, and are even thankful for it. I guess maybe it is different in bigger areas because everything is so darn "politically correct" and etiquette and stuff, where as we are just more relaxed.

sorry IMO I would MUCH rather receive a registry then have to go hunt for where they are registered and around here that is just what everyone does. I guess I just don't see the big deal about it because no one around here thinks twice about it

KristyGirl

08-09-2006, 08:04 AM

Yes, it is bad etiquette.

We put a link to our website on the information card that had a section about our registry. That I think is OK, since the link was primarily on the card for direction and hotel purposes.

SerendipityCrafts

08-09-2006, 11:46 AM

Just wondering Elizabeth..where was this that you heard that it was commong to put registry information on the invites. I'm just curious.

I agree with everyone else. It is rude. People will ask anyway and if they don't ask they probably would not use your registry anyway.

I was told that it was common thing to do it in Western Canada. One of the salesmen (day job) lives in Winnipeg - he told me that they word it ever so nicely but they ask for money on the invite. It's the third invite that he's gotten with a money request, this summer.

We actually had our own dilemna in that we didn't want anything so we included a card in with our invite, rsvp, map, hotel info etc. It said something like this - The good Lord has provided us with everything we need and more. If you wish to do so, please make a donation (without obligation) to the cause of your choice".

BTW - The east has it's own share of annoying customs ...... like bridal showers that one is supposed to pay to attend! I don't be thinking so. LOL

Kacie_bride

08-09-2006, 11:55 AM

I was told that it was common thing to do it in Western Canada. One of the salesmen (day job) lives in Winnipeg - he told me that they word it ever so nicely but they ask for money on the invite. It's the third invite that he's gotten with a money request, this summer.

We actually had our own dilemna in that we didn't want anything so we included a card in with our invite, rsvp, map, hotel info etc. It said something like this - The good Lord has provided us with everything we need and more. If you wish to do so, please make a donation (without obligation) to the cause of your choice".

BTW - The east has it's own share of annoying customs ...... like bridal showers that one is supposed to pay to attend! I don't be thinking so. LOL

Cool. I wonder how they word it nicely to ask for money. That would be hard to do!

ladymelissa

08-09-2006, 12:19 PM

I felt it would be bad etiquette to include the registry info with the invitation. It is really so easy to find out if the guest wishes to know. Besides, my MOH put it on the shower invites and most people who were invited to the wedding had at least one person in the household (usu. the wife) invited to the shower.

Jena1984

08-09-2006, 09:00 PM

AngelinLove

08-09-2006, 09:04 PM

I voted Yes!!! I think it is bad etiquette and presumptuous!!

SerendipityCrafts

08-09-2006, 10:48 PM

We registered at The Bay

Canuck huh? I have to giggle every time I am in Canadian Tire and I see their bridal registry stand .....

Mark me down for some radials, some clamps, a circular saw and oh yeah don't forget the mouse traps LOL

WhiskeyGirl

08-10-2006, 12:18 AM

We registered at The Bay and Sears, they both offered cards to put in the envelopes of our invitatons, but we decided not to. We let our wedding party and our family know that we were registered at both places and that we would accept cash as well to buy a new bed. That way anyone who wants to buy can buy, anyone who wants to give cash knows it is going ot a good place, and anyone who can not afford it doesn't feel obligated to bring a gift.Most people have contacted our parents to ask about a registry, though. So I would have to say that I think is it a little rude to put anything in the invite. If people want ot know, they will ask.

Uh oh! Not the bay!? I had horriable times with them! They tried to rip me off and a year after the wedding I was still waiting to receive the rest of our China...they really pissed me off and I do not recommend to register there to ANYONE. Infact I cancelled my credit card with them and I boycott shopping there. I hope you get better service then I and some others I know, did!!!

WhiskeyGirl

08-10-2006, 12:19 AM

I was told that it was common thing to do it in Western Canada. One of the salesmen (day job) lives in Winnipeg - he told me that they word it ever so nicely but they ask for money on the invite. It's the third invite that he's gotten with a money request, this summer.

We actually had our own dilemna in that we didn't want anything so we included a card in with our invite, rsvp, map, hotel info etc. It said something like this - The good Lord has provided us with everything we need and more. If you wish to do so, please make a donation (without obligation) to the cause of your choice".

BTW - The east has it's own share of annoying customs ...... like bridal showers that one is supposed to pay to attend! I don't be thinking so. LOL

How about them socials in Manitoba??? Where they throw a party and everyone has to pay to get into it...then they use the door money and put it towards the wedding. Apparently it's a common thing in Manitoba! I've never heard about it in my life...lol...until my best friend told me about it.

Jena1984

08-10-2006, 12:52 AM

We signed up for a Bay credit card and they ripped us off too. After the wedding we won't be going there again, but we registered for some really great stuff. So after the wedding...

SerendipityCrafts

08-10-2006, 07:14 AM

How about them socials in Manitoba??? Where they throw a party and everyone has to pay to get into it...then they use the door money and put it towards the wedding. Apparently it's a common thing in Manitoba! I've never heard about it in my life...lol...until my best friend told me about it.

When I lived in small-town-Ont., I heard of a couple who had a Jack and Jill Shower ... I forget just how the invite was worded but it was a pay to attend thing. They were looking for money so that the bride and groom could spend their wedding night in a hotel rather than in a barn (not that they would have anyway but, this is was the theme). Apparently this was also common to the area.

I prefer it when they leave the gift giving up to the recipient. Personally, I like to get "creative" with my gifts and if I can't do that I will ask the bride's mother what they need.

WhiskeyGirl

08-10-2006, 11:38 PM

We signed up for a Bay credit card and they ripped us off too. After the wedding we won't be going there again, but we registered for some really great stuff. So after the wedding...

It wasn't the credit card, it was the way they treated us AFTER the wedding....when we were told our china would be there in 6-8 weeks and then it showed up a year after the wedding...every time I called them they treated me like a liar and like I was stupid, I had enough!! So I tell everyone who is getting married to steer clear of the BAY!!! ;)