Control Freak Family

[SeptBride]

So does anyone have problem with their mother trying to control the wedding to the point of trying to change the wedding colour and decor drastically! Also the complaining about money and demanding receipts for ALL expenses. Trying to start fights about money is a great thing for a bride to be to worry about now! Also my younger sibling decided to get married wks after my wedding and it seems everyone is more excited about that...the killer part....not officially engaged yet, no plans have been made. What can u do about all this...it's crazy...i don't even recognize my own family anymore....it's like a twilight zone. And this is the quick version of the story, a lot of the details are missing. The In-Laws are great, very supportive and not interferring at all, just very excited, and i wish they were my family. they accepted me into their family, MIL gave me a piece of her grandmothers china to officially welcome me to the family even, but my family is so judgemental...think that because they didn't get a say in who i chose to marry they will punish me with being uncooperative and on the verge of hateful. Any advice?

[sstark1218]

What I have learned from many of the girls on here is just not to tell anyone what you are doing until after its done. That is, unless you really want or need their opinion on that matter. If not, just don't tell em. It seems as soon as these people hear the word wedding they become possessed or something. I have the opposite problem.. my family won't help and his mother CHANGED our wedding date! Yea, she sure did. She changed it and then TOLD us about it... crazy! I hope this bit of advice helps! I'm sure the other girls will have some great comments for ya! Good Luck and Congrats!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Sounds like what you are going through is quite similar to what a lot of us have gone through or are going through at this time. (To varying degrees) I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to you, I agree with Sstark, as soon as the word "wedding" is said, people do things you'd NEVER expect. If its jealousy or what it is, not a lot of us could tell ya! So far, your situation sounds to me like hell, its far worse then what I have had to deal with but I will tell ya one thing, put a stop to what you can NOW! The sooner you put your foot down, the less they will think they can get away with this garbage. As far as your sister's wedding, but with no official engagement, I would just ask who has a ring and is planning and who is not. Try and get people involved in your own wedding planning but don't let them control things! This may help them to become more excited about your wedding. Be strong and remember we are here to help you with our words and advice as much as possible!!
I wish you the Best of Luck!!

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

When I first started to plan my wedding a few months ago I thought that it would be a great time between my mother and I. She took over everything and changed into some weird and twisted idea of what she thought I should have. It got to the point where someone would ask me a question and she would step in and answer it with what she wanted. So I finally stood up and took over my wedding. I am running this thing like a CIA mission. It is top secret, no one but myself is involved (and occasionally my fiance.) Everyone else is on a need to know basis, and none of them need to know. I just let everyone have their say and tell me what to do then I just do what I want. I figure come May 27, 2006 a lot of people will be in for a lot of big surprises.

If anyone wants to keep their sanity through this I highly recommend that you do the same.

[SeptBride]

Thanx girls for the advice....it's great to know you aren't the only one dealing with a situation. It's crazy how people become monsters when weddings are mentioned! My wedding is over in less than 3 months so I won't have to put up with this for long.

[Kissy27]

oh the infamous control freaks! I'll share my story. Happened last night. My mother, and fiance, FMIL, and a friend were all sitting around at my home last night disucssing the wedding, which is 2 1/2 weeks away. Because we live in a small community we never sent out our invitations yet, but we did mail them out. Anyhow, my mom, FMIL and friend were arguing over what looked right on our invitations, while me and my fiance just looked on, so, they changed it to their preference, my mother, being difficult as she is, walked out saying that she didnt like it, and told my FMIL that she should be happy that her son is finally getting married. I wanted to sink into the floor. Then we started talking about the reception and dance. they were saying that i was paying too much for where I was going to have it , and told me to call around tomorrow, (today) to look for another place, (2 weeks before!) to get another place. They had all these suggestions, telling me to do this, do that, dont do that! I dont even know what kind of cake I got, my friend picked it out, since she was buying! I dont even know what it looks like! Finally, I told them that if they wanted me to cancel for the hall, then they could cough up the money for me, because there was no way I was going to run around looking for another hall. Me and my fiance have been paying for the majority of this wedding our selves, with no help from either set of parents. Oh, and they want us to have a band, I dont have the money for a band! And not once did they offer to pay for it, but there still harping about a band. Anyhow, I feel for ya girl! I'm at the point where I want to say, forget it! :evil: I hope it will work out.

[CarlosHoney]

I'm lucky to have a mom who says 'It's your wedding, dear, you do it your way!'

Tell them that you appriciate the financial help, but remind them that you are the one getting married, not them, and politely ask them to take a step back. I know how it is, though, being afraid that if you do it your way, you'll have to pay.

Seriously, though, it's your day. Do it your way! Good luck!