Pre-marital counseling?

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

Are you or were you required to attend pre-marital counseling or seminars?

[AngelinLove]

None required here!!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Nope!! And if anyone had told me to I would have told THEM to go fly a kite!! No one can tell me what I have to do to marry the one I love....NO ONE!!

[KristyGirl]

Nope, not required. Our minister offered it to us at no extra charge to us, but there were always schedule conflicts, so we declined.

[StaceyMc]

We just have to do a few discussion sessions with the pastor. Neither Joe or I have an objection to it. We've discussed a lot of things, but I'm sure we've missed something along with way that the pastor will bring up. It's not like the pastor is going to say "Oh, sorry....I can't marry you....you're not right for each other."

[brewsells]

We had 2 sessions with the pastor. He required it. Basically he just made sure we both understood what marriage was like, etc. Considering we have lived together for more than 3 years there wasn't much for him to say.

[WebLady]

Nothing was required for us when we got married. But I do think that it is a good idea for many couples ... at least to discuss 'the hard questions'

[mariaandmanish]

We didn't have to have any. And since we've been together for 6 years, we've had a lot of discussions about what we want for our future and how we want to handle things.

[Kacie_bride]

I think it is defiantely a good idea. Usually our pastor requires a few meetings. However, he recently retired and moved back to California. We will not see him again until the rehearsal dinner so we will not be having any pre-martial counseling. I would not have minded and I don't think Justin would either.

[JennF]

We don't have to do it, but I think it can be helpful for any couple. I know that it makes a lot of people squirm though because it feels like you're talking about something really private.

[CindySue]

I voted nothing, because legally we didnt hve to do any. BUT....when we got our license, they gave us a really neat little handbook that we completed together and we learned quite a few things from it.

[Kacie_bride]

I voted nothing, because legally we didnt hve to do any. BUT....when we got our license, they gave us a really neat little handbook that we completed together and we learned quite a few things from it.

I guess since we are in the same state I'll get one of those too when I get mine.

[CindySue]

I guess since we are in the same state I'll get one of those too when I get mine.
Maybe.....it may depend on the county though. I know in Cherokee county, you get like a little gift bag with your license with coupons and samples and all kinds of brochures.
I really liked the little book though because it asked questions and the husband had to answer and the wife had to answer. Then you compared your answers and discussed any differences.

[Kacie_bride]

Maybe.....it may depend on the county though. I know in Cherokee county, you get like a little gift bag with your license with coupons and samples and all kinds of brochures.
I really liked the little book though because it asked questions and the husband had to answer and the wife had to answer. Then you compared your answers and discussed any differences.

Well I hope I get a little book.

[CindySue]

Well I hope I get a little book.
I wished everyone getting married would get one. And I dont mean that in a bad way. Being married before Brian and I figured we had it all worked out. Well coming back from getting our license, I couldnt resist and started thumbing through it. It had issues in there that we hadnt even discussed, things we havent even thought about yet. Now granted for us, they werent big issues, theyve been discussed, if and/or when the situations arise we know how to handle them. The thing is, some of the "not thought about - unrealized" issues will cause MAJOR problems in some couple's marriages.

[purple_octopus]

FH and I just finished an Engaged Encounter weekend retreat that was required by our pastor. Overall, it was very good and I would recommend it. We didn't uncover anything that we hadn't previously talked about, but it was good to spend so much time together focusing on just the two of us.

We also have to meet with the pastor at least four times, and we have gone two times thus far.

[CindySue]

FH and I just finished an Engaged Encounter weekend retreat that was required by our pastor. Overall, it was very good and I would recommend it. We didn't uncover anything that we hadn't previously talked about, but it was good to spend so much time together focusing on just the two of us.

We also have to meet with the pastor at least four times, and we have gone two times thus far.
That sounds like a really neat weekend....

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

Jonathan and I are required by the church to attend at least one seminar offered by the church. My pastor asked us if we wanted to do counseling and we said yes. Usually they require you to go through at least 3 "meetings" with the pastor, but we had the option not to because we're memebers at the church and had to be confirmed into it. Our church is really strict about getting married there, especially for couples that arent members.

[SerendipityCrafts]

FH and I just finished an Engaged Encounter weekend retreat that was required by our pastor. Overall, it was very good and I would recommend it.

My ex-husband and I did engagement encounter and also another pre-marital course before we were married. We also did marriage encounter during our marriage and we saw a counsellor when our marriage was on the rocks.

I think the courses themselves are great and you do learn something from them but I don't think attending or not attending a course is an indication of how a marriage will play out.

LOL when Hugh and I met with our minister to talk about this wedding, the first thing I asked him was whether or not we would have take a pre-marital course .... (nope!)

[LaceyinPgh]

Nothing for us. The church would usually have required it but since the regular minister didn't perform our ceremony it was never brought up. My cousin who is ordained performed our cermeony. We met with him once to go over the details. He did mention that he would like us to understand that the man is the head of the house. Then Sean and I looked at each other and busted out laughing. Ron then joined in with the comment that he knew that wasn't going to fly with me either.

[purple_octopus]

I think the courses themselves are great and you do learn something from them but I don't think attending or not attending a course is an indication of how a marriage will play out.
I agree completely. In fact, FH and I didn't learn a single thing over the weekend. But they did raise a lot of conversation points that perhaps some first time brides and grooms might not have thought of, and it was nice to just spend the weekend together without the usual distractions.

We would have rather taken the money and sprung for a cabin in Gatlinburg for the weekend... but we didn't really have a choice in the matter. :p

[Amanda&Hugo]

We did a 1-day seminar that we thought was somewhat of a waste of time, b/c the majority of the other couples there hadn't been dating that long and we had almost 4 years! So not a lot of the discusssion topics were surprises! In fact, we knew how the other would reply. There were a few little things that we learned about our childhood and stuff like that though, which was really cool- like, how did your parents communicate? How did your family value money? etc... You don't always think about these types of things, but they really reveal a lot about how you may handle major issues since that is what you learned about them as you were growing up! It is also interesting to compare your experiences and then discuss how your future family will be.

The other valuable thing we got from the day was taking a survey... I was in grad school so I really did NOT want to fill out the 150 questions on a scantron, but it was interesting to get the results later. It wasn't like a whole lot of the results were surprises, but a few were and we got to talk them over with our priest later. It actually helped us set up a few "ground rules" about budgeting habits and contact with our extended families.

[countrygirl]

We had to take a 'coucesling' session w a woman who works for the catholic church. We did great, and all is well.

[Jenn060306]

I said A one day seminar/convention because that is the closest to what really happend. Because we wanted to get married in the Catholic church they require that you take courses. I was really nervous about it before because i am not Catholic. I didn't know what to expect and such.
Both Mark and i found it to be VERY helpful. It got us to talk about alot of things that we hadn't ever talked about or haven't really come to any solid answers on. We did have to take a personality/relationship test. But.... it came back that we were very well suited for eachother and there were not many areas for concern in our relationship. I think the couples running it had only seen once where the couple taking the test were really not on the same page on family, religion, and life.
I know this isn't for everyone. But i really thought it was good because we did make decisions on things and we talked alot more about things as well.

[hummingbird521]

Our pastor did not require this for us. Now if we had never been married before I believe she would have suggested it to us.

[AngelinLove]

We aren't doing anything, but I think that it would be cool to take the personality/compatability type test!!!

[countrygirl]

We aren't doing anything, but I think that it would be cool to take the personality/compatability type test!!!

We had to take one for the church and it was intersting to hear the results. We found out that apparently Josh had "issues" and feelings about certain things that he didn't even know he had. The funny thing is, the results were backwards, and they were really my results. HAHA!!

[mj512]

we don't HAVE to, but we are going to

[Jena1984]

Marriage Prep was the best thing we ever did. It gave us an opportunity to have mediated safe sessions with an open minded third party. We discussed, sex, religion, money, children, in laws, and our values. We get along great, and we are best friends, but this opened our eyes to things we never thought of. Our hugest issue was his family, and it was really nice to have a third persons oppinion on that situation and how to handle it. We could not be happier with our desion to do marriage counseling, and we would do it again.