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View Full Version : venting about friend not coming to wedding


AnnaBanana
06-16-2010, 09:57 PM
So I've known for months that 3 of my friends, one who is one of my best friends, can't come to my wedding because they will be across the country/in foreign countries. While I'm disappointed, I completely understand this because the trips would be long and cost a lot of money.

However, I just found out yesterday that another of my best friends can't come to the wedding. :( I know her situation is tough, but I still feel like it is doable and that she should come. The problem is she would have to drive or take a bus 6 hours each way to come, and her next semester of grad school starts the very next day after my wedding. Since I'm having a daytime wedding, the wedding will be over by 4:30, so she could still get back before midnight. In case she doesn't feel comfortable driving that long/far, I found a bus route that would get back at midnight. I offered that someone could drive her to the bus station. From her perspective, she's in medical school, so it's important she be there fresh and ready on her first day back. She said getting back late is cutting it close. We both value education very much and are good students, so I do understand where she's coming from. However, I also feel like it's a once-in-a-lifetime, very important day in my life, and since she's one of my best friends, I want her to be there. I would have asked her to be a bridesmaid if she lived closer to me. I work full time and go to grad school as well, and if the situation were reversed, I would make the trip for her. I just feel a bit hurt and that she doesn't care enough to make the effort. Or do you think I'm overreacting? I'm not going to say anything else to her, I've accepted her answer. I just keep trying to remind myself that this day is about me and my soon-to-be husband, so it doesn't really matter if some friends can't make it.

Smurfette
06-16-2010, 11:34 PM
Well what if the situation were reversed and you couldn't make it?
Friends are friends no matter what. Thick and thin. Maybe there's
another reason why she can't come and is embarrassed to admit it?!

My own bff did not share my joy when I was newly engaged because
she felt I would abandon our friendship as Mister's Missus. I certainly
wouldn't abandon our 14 y/o friendship but it definitely would change.

Maybe your friend is coming from a different place and is feeling a little
left out? :( Sad but it happens.

Hope everything works out well.

AnnaBanana
06-17-2010, 09:49 AM
Thanks for your response. After thinking about it some more, I've realized there are more important things to worry about in life, and this doesn't really matter. I can tell that she feels bad about it. I've moved on.