invite dilemma

[AnnaBanana]

Hi everyone,
I'm getting married in August. I just sent out the invitations on Saturday. Earlier this year (February maybe?) I sent out save the date emails to my personal friends and cousins but not to everyone on the invite list. I have a dilemma about one girl, whether or not I should invite her.

My friend group from high school consists of 13 people. We are all ages 24-25 and still get together from time to time when people are around/available, but we aren't able to do this all the time. Another girl in the group and I were the first to become engaged. When we all had get togethers, she would ask me how my wedding plans were coming along, and she seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing and discussing wedding planning with me. Now the two of us were never super close friends, but we're both in the same group of friends and get together when our group gets together. I invited her to my birthday parties when I was in high school.

She got married last month, and when I realized I wasn't invited I felt hurt. I always thought of her as my friend, but it doesn't look like she thinks of me as a good enough friend to invite to her wedding. I don't know how big or small her wedding was, but I don't think it was too small. She had 4 bridesmaids, a bachelorette party, and a wedding shower.

So now I'm not sure if I should invite her to my wedding. Here are my reasons for each side:

reasons to not invite:
-she doesn't think of me as close friend, and shouldn't I have people at my wedding who care about me?
-each person I invite will cost money. my parents are paying, and since she didn't invite me to her wedding, my mom says we shouldn't spend the money on her and her husband, but ultimately the decision is up to me.

reason to invite:
-I already sent her a save the date email several months ago, to which she responded enthusiastically and sent me her address.
-I'd feel bad after our wedding if my friends and I got together, and my friends were discussing my wedding, and this girl felt left out. I sent invitations to everyone else in our friend group except for the few people who told me they could not come since they will be in another country at the time.
What do you think I should do?

[dizy1j62881]

It looks like you care about her and want her there, so go for it. Maybe they did a smaller affair and couldn't afford to have everyone there like they wanted too

[gwenshack]

I would invite her, if for no other reason than you sent a save the date. It might be an opportunity for you two to become closer friends, regardless of whether or not she invited you to hers. :goodluck:

[Samm]

I would say invite her. You obviously want her there. I wouldn't stress about her not inviting you to her wedding. And you already sent her a save the date...so if she never got an invite she might be hurt and upset.

[Brian's Bride]

I'd say not to invite her. Did she receive your save the date prior to her wedding? If so, she knew she'd be invited to yours and still didn't invite you to hers. She wasn't too concerned about having your mutual friends talk about HER wedding in front of you, so why should you be concerned about it? If it were me, I wouldn't do it.

[dm13]

If you really want to invite her, then do it. She might have her own reasons for not inviting you to her wedding, but that's over. If you truly want her to be in your wedding then go for it. And it's up to her whether to show up or not, at least you tried to invite her.

[girlggc]

I would invite her. You already sent her a save-the-date.

[AnnaBanana]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I decided not to invite her because I want people at my wedding who value my friendship. I recently saw her wedding pictures on facebook and discovered that she had a lot of guests, it looked like at least 100, and a 3 tiered cake, so it wasn't just some small intimate wedding for close friends and family. I'm not mad about it, but I figure she doesn't view me as a close friend, so I guess we're not really close friends. I want close friends at my wedding.

[doby48]

I would invite her. She may have had reasons for not inviting you such as only close family, etc. If she doesnt feel close enough to you to make it to yours then she will just decline is all. If you were planning on inviting her though until you found out she didnt invite you then I would still do it.

[Brian's Bride]

Thanks for letting us know! I was really curious to see what you were gonna do. :)