Grrrrrr....

[WhiskeyGirl]

Oh my God...thats all I can say. How the heck is everyone dealing with the people who insist on complaining about EVERYTHING you are doing. Or is it just me? I think I'm helping people out and all they do is complain. I didn't pick one dress because people were concerned about the way it looked and that they might not be able to find a place to buy it at. So I picked a different dress and bought it through a dress shop two and a half hours away, but close to where my MOH is and she can pick them up. Ok no problem except one of my brides maids is throwing a royal hissy fit! I swear I've tried everything to make these people happy, I've suggested that the two of us could go there and pick up the dress. Nope! Can't do that, she doesn't trust anyone to baby sit her child because her kid keeps telling her that everyone is "beating" her, so thats out of the question. Then the day she wants to go, I have company coming who could bring up the dress but she doesn't want to give her Credit card number over the phone. (even though they would have her credit card number if she was there and payed for it anyhow.) The next problem is that I am SO busy within the next few weeks, and she should really have the dress right away so that she can have it altered ASAP and I don't know when I can go with her to pick it up. I don't know why she seems to figure that is one hundred percent my responsibility to get her her dress. I have tried to work with her, I've tried to get it to her for her by having it brought here by my sister in law and my parents who are also coming a weekend after my MOH/SIL. She just doesn't want to go with the flow, then she phones me and leaves a message on my phone about how hard I am making it on her... What about me? I'm busy too! I've tried to help her and have it delievered by my family members who would have to drive into the city and pick it up, which is out of the way for them too, and still thats not good enough. I think I have dealt with enough of this BS and I'm really getting sick and tired of it all. At this point I don't think I should have to give them my Credit Card number, I've already put the deposit down AND ordered the dress for her. I've tried to make things easy for the both of us, but she just doesn't seem to want to take any help and make things harder then they need to be. Good God, I'm at my wits end with this whole thing...Family, wedding party, Family, Wedding party...does it ever end???? I keep telling myself that in two months it will be over and I know then, that the juice will be worth the squeeze, but right now, I'm just trying to keep myself from breaking down and running away to get married. How the heck do I deal with this girl? I haven't even returned her call yet, I'm getting frustrated and if I call her, I'm going to tell her off because I have had it up to my eye balls with all this ****! I don't know, but I do know that it feels good to vent...and anyone...suggestions???...that would be great!

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

Take a deep breath and calm donw. I fully understand what it is like to have a pain in the neck bridesmaid. I have one of my own. I don't know what causes the rational kind people we love to turn into complete jackasses at the mention of the word bridesmaid. I often sit back and think, was I that big of pain when I was a bridesmaid. I hope not. Anyway, you have to take the control off of her. Simply call her back and say that you are sorry but you are too busy to go with her to pick up the dress. Tell her what days and times that you have avaliable that you could potentially go with her and hepl her watch her little girl on the trip and at the shop. She will need to go alone to get it or have it delivered to her. If she is uncomfortable giving her credit card number, she should just overnight a check to the store so that someone else can pick up the dress for her.

[WhiskeyGirl]

See heres the thing. Our schedules totally Clash. When I have time, she doesn't and when we both have time she doesn't want to go! Either its because she doesn't want to bring her kid (who is actually kind of a holy terror and is hard to take care of.) or she is working or she just doesn't feel like going. This isn't the first time I've had to deal with "evil" brides maids and I am afraid it won't be the last. I've really had it, I'm really sick of them pulling this ****. And like you, it makes me think back to when I was a brides maid, but I don't think I ever acted like that! I have also made a mental note that if I am ever asked to be a brides maid again, I sure as hell won't act like any of them, and I will save the Bride some grief and try and help her out as much as possible. I don't understand why people act like this so close to the wedding either....there are so many things that make me wonder if its jealousy, hatred, or just being a brat to make life hard for me!!

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

Why aren't scientist studying the phenomenon? Why aren't we trying to figure out what takes a relatively sane woman and changes her into the friend from hell when she hears the words, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" Is there like some chemical released by the brain that clouds her judgement and blocks her memory when the event is over? Why are we wasting money on another study to find out the cigarettes have a bad effect when in fact we could be researching a solution to "Evil Bridesmaid Disorder"

On a serious note, talk to your girl. Is she worried about money? Does she not want to be in the wedding? If she is worried about money than can you help her out and she pay you back over the next couple of months? If she doesn't want to be in the wedding, this would give her a chance to back out with some grace and you enough time to replace her. Is she just being a pain in the *** who is hell bent on ruining your happiness? Its better to find that out now and get rid of her before more serious damage is done. Don't let anyone tell you that it is improper to ask someone to step down as a bridesmaid. There job is to make your life easier over the planning process and big day. If they aren't doing that, then they don't need to be there. Would you keep an employee around who was causing you more work and stress and hurting revenue? Its the same situation.

But, maybe she is having a real problem. Just call her up after she gets the house calmed down and the devil child to bed. Talk to her. You can find the root of the problem and she might appreciate having someone to ask her day went.

[WhiskeyGirl]

So I talked to her and she told me its the money thing but she was embarassed to tell me. I told her that its ok, that I understand. We are just about in the same financial situation as them. I just really wish that people would learn to talk to me and express themselves realizing that I am not the difficult to get along with and often I really do Understand. Hopefully things from here on out will go better. How are things with your bridesmaid Lacey? Are things getting any better for you? Thanks for the advice, I REALLY appreciate it!!

~CanadianBride~

[brefarka]

Hello. I am trying to work out the details to my wedding too (May 2006). We were supposed to get married on the caribbean cruise we are taking that leaves port in Florida on May 20th, 2006, but due to it not being the relaxed wedding we wanted, and having to pay for things we didn't even want, we were going to get married the night before the cruise on the beach in Florida (I live in Washington state) at sunset. All of our friends and family were supposed to come with us on the cruise and said they would for sure, viewing it as a celebration more than a honeymoon (we have been together 6 years...we will be married by common law before we sign the license). They all said up to yesterday that they were so excited to come, but today when my fiance was sooo excited to tell them the details of the cruise(pricing,etc), his whole family backed out! They want us to get married where they want in Washington, but that is not how we envisioned our wedding being...low key. I know your wedding is a lot different, but I need to know how you are dealing with the stress. I have a high stress job anyways, on top of this. They are even trying to bribe us to get married here by buying our cruise. However, we will have to pay for the cruise in full by February, and we won't get married until May 13th (ish) of next year...would they just reimburse us...THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!! I am so frustrated and everyone on his side of the family keeps saying "just do it the way you want to" however, when my fiance is letting me plan everything and all he wants is his dad and brother there (which all 3 sisters, dad, and brother are now saying they can't go!!), I have to get married here...which is NOT what I want to do. I wanted a $200 laid back ceremony, where I brought my own bouquet and all they provided was the officiant, gorgeous outdoor surroundings, and the paperwork. I want to be bare foot, with my man in khakis and a button up shirt, and I just want to wear a basic wedding dress (more like a sun dress). I don't want a traditional wedding...it just isn't for me, but they are trying to dictate everything that I am doing, and now I am having to settle, and I wanted so little to begin with that settling for me means having a completely different wedding. We would have to invite people that we don't necessarily want to attend, because of the family connections...BLAH BLAH BLAH. How are you doing it....PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!! :cry:

[LaceyinPgh]

With all of this going on you still have the time to ask about my situation. That is so sweet. Anyway my evil bridesmaid has calmed down. I talked with her about the situation and told her that I really loved her but if she wasn't interested in being in the wedding than she need to let me know now. I wasn't going tobe hurt or upset and I would still care about her just the same. We have been friends since middle school, not wanting to wear a pink chiffon dress and carry flowers wasn't going to change anything. She admitted that she was being a little rough about things and apologized. Things seem to be fine now.

One of her main concerns was money too. That always seems to be the root of wedding problems I find. Unfortunately for her, she put herself fully in her situations. She chose not to pay back student loans, she chose to let her exhusaband leave free of any financial responsibility from their marriage. She chose to by beer and cigarettes in stead of paying cable and phone and rent. In that situation I would be royally screwed. However, as usual her grandma rode to the rescue to pay for the dress and anything else she needs to the wedding. I certainly hope grandma doesn't end up dishing out money for my shower or wedding gift. The poor woman is a 75 year old widow on a fixed income since her daughters and graddaughters have slowly bled her dry over the last 20 years.

My new problem is my mother. But I'll post more on Captain Insaneo (her new comic book hero nickname) after I get Sean out the door for his trip this afternoon.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Its all Good. Its great that I have someone to talk to who understands where I am coming from! I'm glad your evil bridesmaid has also calmed down. I hope that she continues to be easier to be friends with and that she isn't at all like that again throughout your wedding planning and celebration. My new problem is, its two weeks until all the RSVPs need to be back and there are like 60 outstanding invitations. Thats like 120 people who haven't replyed. Alot of those people are family members, which I am surprised and disapointed in. I've already spent a dollar to send them the invitation with the RSVP prepaid and they can't be bothered to send it back to help keep me sane. (lol)

I can't believe the way people act when you are planning a wedding. Its like they think it gives them an excuse to all be royal pains in your butt. I wonder if they write it in magazines or sky write it in the sky "Your daughter/friend/sister/etc. is getting married and this now gives you the chance to be a pain and make their life a living hell!" It drives me crazy and I think that when my kids are old enough to get married, I will encourage them to elope or have a small destination wedding someplace warm and I will pay for the whole thing.

Just keep plugging away thats all I can say! Thats the best that I can do, and thats the best that I actually do do. People will make you CRAZY, I sometimes wonder if thats their soul purpose in life, but I guess it will all change when we have those final rings on our fingers. At least I hope it will, but I can't guarantee for my situation it will. After the wedding, we are building a new house and that will just bring around more jealousy I'm sure! (I can't help it, we really need a new house, the one we live in is a shack and is full of spiders and mice. We live in a old farm house.) I wish people would realize that what they say and do, really is what ends up pushing you away. I know for me, after the wedding, if I never speak to most of them again, I don't think it will really bother me. I've been hurt enough by them (!) and I'm so over it!

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

Jealousy rearing it's ugly head at a wedding and another family members prosperity? Surely you are jesting with us all on here. :wink:

Don't stress about the RSVPs. People will send them in. And, if they don't it isn't your fault that they have to go hungry all night. In a worst case scenario, you will have to call them. (I know like you have the spare time to call 120 people. I don't either.) Maybe this could be a task delegated to mom or a bridesmaid. But again, you have two weeks. Most people are wretched procrastinators. As a high school teacher I see it all day. "You mean we have to take notes today after I was up all night working on that project you assigned. Can't we watch a movie?" "Umm you mean the project I assigned a month ago?" Those teenagers grow into the late RSVPers.

I am begining to see that a wedding is the biggest pain in the *** one could imagine. If two people can survive this planning process the rest has to be easy. Every day passes and new problem arises - I am begining to lose faith in humanity.

As for the jealousy issue in your life...I walked around apologizing for several years about the good choices I made in life. I'm sorry I went to college. I'm sorry I own my house. I'm sorry I drive a new car. I'm sorry I can go on vacation. Well, I woke up recently and decided not to be sorry anymore. It isn't my FAULT that I live better than my friends and family memebers. I made different choices that they all had the same oppurtunities to make. The same is true for you. Don't be sorry or feel bad. If they can't be happy for your nice wedding and your beautiful new house to **** bad for them. It isn't your fault that they are not in the same boat as you are.

[iluvweddings]

lacey,
you are equating material things with happiness! You can't assume that you are living better than your family and friends because you seemingly have more material possessions.
My husband and I are financially stable - we aren't rich or anything, but... we aren't poor either. There are friends of mine and family members that have a bigger house, newer cars, a better wardrobe, etc. and I did use to be jealous of those things. But... I realized that my husband and I have struggled so hard to get to the point that we are in our lives, that money couldn't buy our happiness. We are going on 10 years - and have seen money be the root of so many divorces and seperations. We didn't have a wedding because we couldn't afford it, and I am in the process of planning our 10 year Vow Renewal Ceremony for Jan. '06 - I feel like if anyone deserves it it's me :wink:
But... I do understand what you are saying, I have friends that think that I think that I am perfect, and I say - "no, you think I am perfect". It's frustrating when you can't be yourself because it may hurt someone else's feelings if your hair grows faster, or you are skinnier, etc. Stay strong - I deal with that issue everyday of my life.

[sstark1218]

Back to the original topic.. I have the opposite problem.. my bridesmaids don't want to do anything. I can't get them to go anywhere with me or do anything. They are both my best friends and are extremely happy for me, but how can I get them to step up and help me? The only thing they like to do is look at stuff online and eBay, which is all great, but theres a lot more to it. Any suggestions on how to get them to step up?

[iluvweddings]

Although, you decided to cut me off. I will still respond to your question.
What I did was to have an initial bridesmaid meeting, I let them know exactly what was expected of them (financially and emotionally). We created a timeline as far as payment of dresses, jewelry, shoes, etc. Now I send a Newsletter out monthly to keep all the girls informed about what's going on - things that need to be done, and things that have been completed.
That may be helpful - they may not be willing to volunteer help, but... if they know that you are expecting it - things may be different.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Lacey, I'm going to side with you! I'm not going to apologize for them not having any money! Or not being able to build a home or buy a new car. I'm sick of apologizing because our situations are different and they can't afford what we can.

Iluvweddings, I do not believe that Lacey was equating material things to happiness. What I do think she is saying is that she is sick of apologizing for being better off then others, when its all about the choices a person makes in life! We shouldn't apologize for what others don't have and we do. I'm certaintly not going to anymore. If I can afford to buy it then I will and I won't walk on egg shells because people may be or may get jealous.

SStark...that IS my original problem....trying to get people to help me or to pick up their own dang dresses without me holding their hands to do so! If I was you, I'd put it into perspective for them. (And remember now, this is coming from a person who is getting married in two months and I am highly frustrated and have had it up to my eye balls with their garbage!) Tell them they either straighten up, or they can get the heck out!! You need people to support you and help you through all this, don't take the route I have, its just a headache trying to motavate these people! Tell them you asked them to HELP, and thats what you need, is HELP! Have either of them ever been bridesmaids before? Buy them a little book like a "dummies guide to being a bridesmaid" or something. (I'm sure there is a dummies guide to for this, there always seems to be one for everything!) If they still don't get the hint, its time for a pow wow and tell them honestly how you are feeling and that you asked them because you thought you could rely on them! A little guilt will go a long way! ....JK! Best of Luck!

~CanadianBride~

[iluvweddings]

Canadianbride,
Maybe it's not the things that you have, but your attitude! I'm sure that your bridal party wouldn't like to hear that you think of them as dummies. I think that's quite sad, when in fact it was you that chose them to participate in your wedding. I don't know if you have ever heard this quote, but I will share it with you
" Only equals can be friends " - Maya Angelou. So, either you are as dumb as you claim them to be, or they are smarter than you give them credit for.
I have chosen my bridal party wisely, I have a pleasant attitude when speaking about the wedding, and I have found my entire bridal party very encouraged to do anything that is asked of them. I have 1 matron of honor, 7 bridesmaids, 4 junior bridesmaid, 4 flower girls, and 4 hostesses ( I know - very large bridal party). Well, all of the girls have been fitted for their dresses, 2 out of 7 have completely paid for them, and 2 have a $50.00 balance, which will be paid this weekend. AND MY WEDDING ISN'T UNTIL JANUARY!!! I think we get what we give, if I went around ordering them, and expected to march like my little soldiers - I'm sure they would have hostility towards me and this wedding. But... all of my friends know that I would do anything for them and their happiness, so they gladly return the favor. I call each of them, at least once a week and make it a point to discuss anything other than the wedding, so that they know their lives are just as important as the wedding that I am putting together.
The way you come across on this message board is that your "friends" are beneath you. I feel sorry for you if you hav to make your friends feel guilty to help you, it should be natural.
Anyway,
GOOD LUCK to all of you!
From, a stress-free bride.

[sstark1218]

I didn't mean to interrupt your thought, iluvweddings, or cut you off in anyway.. just wanted to add my story. That is great advice, I just never thought about having a 'meeting' with everyone since there are only 2 of them, plus my MOH. The MOH is my sister and I was hers so we are on the same page, it's just my bridesmaids. I will give this a try and see how it goes... thanks again for the advice.. you too canadianbride!

[iluvweddings]

No problem,
I thought I was being funny ( I'll work on that ). Anyway, yes that worked out great (the meeting). If you would like a copy of the Newsletter, give me your email address and I will send it.
All the girls really look forward to it each month, and it makes them feel involved.
I can also send you the letters that I passed out at the meeting, I included a "bridesmaid's responsibilities", a budget, and a timeline. I had the small purse size calendars so that they could write down dates of important events, i.e. fittings, pre-wedding parties, etc.

GOOD LUCK!

[WhiskeyGirl]

iluvweddings, I do not think you have the right to say that I think I am better then anyone!!! I have done a lot to help them out, but have not seen any thing back in return! And when I talk to them, they are the ones who almost always want to talk wedding!! You do not know anything about me, my bridesmaids or my life! I DID NOT SAY THAT MY BRIDESMAIDS ARE DUMMIES! It was only a suggestion. If you do not like what I have to say, DO NOT reply to my posts! You do not know what my situation is or how it will be! If you think I have an attitude, perhaps you should look at yourself before you cast the first stone!! No one is perfect, so do not go quoting me things, I do not appreciate it! I also have chosen my bridal party wisely, but I cannot be expected to forsee any problems that may arise and that HAVE arised!

You say " i was only trying to be funny" have you even considered that maybe I was being funny too with my "dummies" book suggestion!!

Do not come in here and tell me that I am this or I am that...I will quote my Mother on this! "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at ALL!" I am not a tirant or a b*tch, but I do know one thing. I have not asked for people to act the way they are acting, I have tried to help them out by paying for dresses and driving two and a half hours to order them and pick them up! I have asked their opinions and listen to them when they are having a bad day or even when they are having a good day! I am here for them as a friend first and foremost! You do not know how I treat my friends and my family and I don't think you have the right to say anything! DO NOT CALL ME DUMB! I do not appreciate it, I do not call you names, so do not call me names either!!

If you are stress free, well congratulations! This after all is your second wedding, and if you say that your first was stress free, well congratulations on that one too! Everyone's situation is different! We are probably having two completely different types of weddings! So please, do not compare your wedding to mine, I don't know what all you are doing and you don't know what all I am doing!

~CanadianBride~

[sstark1218]

I would love to see a copy of it. I think its an awesome idea and a great way to make sure things happen when they need to. The email is sstark1218@hotmail.com Thanks!

[iluvweddings]

canadianbride,
Whoa! that's about all I can say. Other than "the truth hurts!". This is not my second marriage - I have been married for 10 years and this is my first wedding!
You don't give to receive - you said, you have given to them without anything in return. Well, at some point - I think you have to start to look in the mirror, if your entire bridal party is not cooperating - maybe it is you. If everyone around you tells you that you are mean (not you personally) maybe you are.
But hey...if you're okay with your behavior it's fine with me! Did you ever stop and wonder why most of your posts are complaints about other people, I can't remember seeing ONE that said how happy you are about your wedding (although I'm not saying it doesn't exist).
Forgive me, but.. I thought the reason for the forum was to get different opinions and ideas on things that are going on with your wedding and different aspects of it. Excuse me for voicing my opinion. I'm not going to make this a battle between the two of us - I wish you nothing but happiness on your big day!!
:shock: OOPS - I guess I did have more to say

sstark, I am emailing you now.

[sstark1218]

Thanks for the email. I only wish I could be half that organized.. and I really thought I was. What did you ever find about doing the map/direction cards on your own? Cheaper? What program did you use, etc? Thanks!

[iluvweddings]

What I did was -
Bought a three ring binder (3" wide) from Office Max and everytime I came up with an idea, I would type it out and three hole punch it to put into the binder. It really helps!! I have so much paperwork that I now have it organized in sections (Ceremony, Reception, etc. ) I include all the different price quotes and/or ideas that I collect along the way so that it doesn't slip my mind.
I was able to do the map card on my own. I will send it to you as well. It was much easier than I thought. I even did two over this past weekend for someone.

Thanks,

[sstark1218]

Wow.. that looks really nice. I have been playing around with making map cards on MS Publisher along with Yahoo Maps. It seems to be working but still doesnt look as elegant as I would like. More suggestions?

[WhiskeyGirl]

iluvweddings...whatever you say. If thats what you think then so be it! I didn't say this is your second marriage, you have made it sound like this is your second wedding to the same man! I don't care what you say, I am probably the nicest person you will ever meet. I come here to have people help me with the problems that I am facing because I am planning a wedding that people are jealous of. I cannot help it if that is the way that it is, but thats the way it is! Yes, I do appreciate having people comment on the things that I ASK for comments on! I didn't ask you to tell me what you think of me, if you don't have anything to contribute, then don't say anything! It doesn't bother me that you think I am mean or selfish or whatever it is that you "think" you know! I don't know you, and it makes no difference to me what you think!

You don't know what my behavior is like, you do not know how I have bent over backwards trying to work with my girls. I have only had two problems with two girls. The other people involved and I have not had ANY problems. And yes ok most of my posts have been to complain but thats because I need help with the problems, I don't need to know how to improve on the good stuff!! I already know what works for me! :lol:

~CanadianBride~

[iluvweddings]

sstark,
Send me what you have and I will try to help. If you have an example how you want yours, you can include that as well.

[MMerkel]

Hello,
I agree with Lacey. Take back the control. Just spell out what you are expecting from her and when she can do it. Unfortunately, some people, no matter who they are still want to remain center of attention. This is your day and only your day. ENJOY!! Once you are at the ceremony and reception you will have forgotten all the the aggravation that lead up to this day. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

Good luck and best wishes.

[LaceyinPgh]

Canadianbride-
The good news is that you only have two months of this garbage to deal with. You can see the finish line at the marathon girl! Just keep running toward it. Tell your bridesmaid what you except and leave it at that. If she screws you over, it shows a lack of her character to leave someone she calls a friend hanging high and dry on her most important day in life. Take a deep breath and calm down. We all get ourselves so worked up over something as silly as a wedding. The crazy thing is, if some little thing goes wrong that day, only you and maybe you mom or MOH will ever notice.

As for others on this board who want to play the role of critic...don't. Since this is a message board, we are lacking the basics in human conversation; we can't hear tone or see facial expressions. So, a lot can be misunderstood just from the lack of those two key elements. If you can add something to the solution or the problem while not writing a new problem, please feel free to do so. If not, keep your opinions of others to yourself. I very much doubt, that you would so strongly voice an opinion to someone like have been done on this board if you overheard their conversation in a store. No one on this board has to justify themselves to anyone else on here. I certainly will not turn this post into a debate over how I live my life.

I hope my adivce on the bridesmaid helped Canadianbride. You have always been most helpful in my stressful times of need.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thank you so much for your kind words and your words of encouragment Lacey. You are one of the ones who keep me coming back! It is less then two months now until the big day and things are beginning to work themselves out. My bridesmaid across the country will be receiving her dress shortly. My MOH will be picking hers up tomarrow and the other bridesmaid will have the dress delivered by my parents on Saturday or so. And today,(lol) I am wearing my shoes for the wedding. They are beautiful but not more so then my dress. I still need to find a place that will dye my shoes....my next problem...I live in small town and don't know of anyone whom I trust or who, can actually do it. I guess I'll check the net and the yellow pages, thats the best place that I can think of to start.

You are very welcome Lacey. I hope we can continue to help one another along the way. Take care,

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

Most bridal stores should be able to help you with dying your shoes. They will just need a swatch of fabric from your dress. What color are you getting your shoes done in? Personally since my mother insisted on a white dress (we have been living together for 4 years, I think everyone knows better) I decided to go with the most insane pair of shoes I can find. I found two pairs so far. Good luck and keep running to that finish line. By the way, when you get back from the honeymoon you had better drag yourself back here and give us all the details so that we can find some hope that wedding planning hell is mor elike wedding planning purgatory.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I found a place that says that they can dye my shoes. Does a week sound like a reasonable amount of time? I still have two months to go so a week isn't too much. They say they guarantee that it will match exactly, which is good! I originally wanted to wear running shoes to the wedding but my Fiancee didn't really like the sound of that and alot of people thought it wasn't a good idea. (I'm a fun kind of person but my mom said perhaps since I have such a beautiful dress I should have beautiful shoes too. And now that I have my shoes I agree with her!)

I will for sure let you know how the wedding goes and how the honey moon was! It will be somewhere tropical and warm!!! Bonus, I can't wait! Everyday we get closer to the wedding, the more excited I get about both the wedding and the honey moon! I've said it before, but I will say it again "The 'juice' is worth the squeeze!"

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

A week sounds about right. You have plenty of time so no worries. Shoes are my passion. I have a feeling that I will spend more time finding the shoes than I did the dress.

[sstark1218]

Speaking of shoes.. what color is everyone getting? I am at a loss... I don't know what to get. I have looked and looked but cant find anything I like so far. I want some kind of strappy sandle, but they can't have too much of a heel or Ill be too tall. So I guess my question is: what color shoes will everyone have? Brides only.. not BM's

[iluvweddings]

My shoes will be silver, strappy shoes that go all the way up to the knee. ( I want lots of oohs and aahs, when it is time for the garter toss). I will try and find a picture.

[sstark1218]

Where did you get them and how much? For my sisters wedding, we really lucked out. She wanted white and we just went to WalMart at the end of the season, and they were on clearance for like $10. Good deal!

[iluvweddings]

http://www.pierresilber.com/fasawirhanwr.html

Let me know if this works.
I didn't order from there, but those are similar.

[sstark1218]

OMG those are hot! You will get lots of oohs and aahs with those! A bit too pricey for me, although that is the type I am looking for. I need something with a smaller heel to so that I'm not taller than my FH. Thanks for the pic.. let me know if you come across anything cheaper! Thx!

[iluvweddings]

Well, that's the best part!
I live in Chicago and I got my shoes from Chernin's Shoe Outlet for $9.99.

[Wildfire97504]

sstark...you gave me some good advice, maybe I can return the favor. Have you tried to make a list of the expectations of each of your bridesmaids and then sit down and go over the list with each of them? I also am only having 2 close friends for bridesmaids, but was having a lot of problems with the lead girl, she just didn't realize how important it was to be more involved then just sitting back waiting to address the invitations. After we talked over the list, it seems to have been straightened out. A side note, although some may not wish to admit it, even the closest of friends may feel a little jealousy about your wedding. My lead girl admitted that although she dearly loves me and wants me to be happy, sometimes she does feel a little jealous. Then we laughed about it and hugged. It's all good! Good luck with your girls.

[sstark1218]

Everything is cool with my girls now. I did exactly what I told you to do, courtesy of iluvweddings and everything is perfect now. Hope it works for you, too! Good Luck and great job on the ticker :lol:

[iluvweddings]

that's great! I'm glad that everything worked out for you.
Do you have a Chernin's in your area?

[sstark1218]

Umm.. no.. I live in a very small town in the middle of nowhere and close to nothing. Maybe if theres one in Indianapolis, but that still be a few hours away. I'll have to check.

[iluvweddings]

Okay - good luck!