Male Bridesmaids: Yes or No?

[MOB Karen]

Male Bridesmaids: Yes or No?

Your best friend is a guy. Your fiancé doesn't have a problem with it, but it seems that everyone else does. His mother doesn't understand. Your father thinks it will just cause problems. And your best friend is not exactly sure how he feels about it all. What do you do when you want to include your male best friend in your wedding plans?
http://www.weddingpoints.com/member/articles/images/article/march_wed_male_bridesmaids_1.jpg
First of all, when you think about inviting your attendants to stand beside you at your wedding, you consider asking those closest to you. If one of them is a guy, should he be relegated to a different role in the wedding than your best girl friends just because he is a guy? Maybe so. Will he be able to fully participate in all the pre-wedding functions without feeling silly? That girls' weekend bachelorette party or the lingerie shower your Aunt Jane has planned may not exactly be a world of fun for him, not to mention having to show up at the bridesmaid luncheon that your cousin Deanna is giving you at that sweet little tearoom.

And what about the obligatory weekend shopping excursions that are a part of every bridesmaid's wedding to-do list? How will he feel about schlepping from shop to shop searching for those perfect shoes and accessories to go with your gowns?

On the other hand, how will your best friend in the world feel if he is just left standing on the sidelines? When you decide to invite your best friend (no matter their gender) to be an attendant in your wedding, ask yourself these questions:

Which family members must be invited first?
Which close friends do I want to include?
Would any of the people I want to participate be uncomfortable with the financial obligations, activities or time requirements involved with the wedding?http://www.weddingpoints.com/member/articles/images/article/march_wed_male_bridesmaids_2.jpg
It is possible to have your best guy friend participate in your wedding without having him so deeply involved with every detail of the planning. Perhaps he is just involved with the wedding weekend activities, leaving the parties and showers to the girls. He would participate in the rehearsal and after rehearsal activities and everything for the wedding.

Have him wear the same thing the other men in the wedding party are wearing and offer to go with him for his fitting, just as you would for one of your girlfriends. Instead of having him show up at a shower, take him to lunch at his favorite place so you can show him just how much you appreciate his friendship. The best think to do is to ask him what he feels comfortable with and go from there.

[Kacie_bride]

I voted no, not because I am against it, but because it would not work for me. First of all, none of my male friends would even consider doing it and secondly it does not fit into the ideal picture in my head of my wedding. I think it is great for anyone who wants to do it though.

[KristyGirl]

If I had a close enough male friend that I wanted in that role, sure, I'd do it. I'd make sure he was comfortable with it first. If not, we'd work something else out.

[AngelinLove]

I personally don't think that any of my male friends would do it, but i voted yes.....because if that is what someone wants for their wedding...then whatever floats their boat!!!!

[LaceyinPgh]

Absolutely. One of my best friends since college is a guy. We even lived togehter in DC. It was perfectly platonic, never a thing between us. I asked him to be a bridesman but he delcined because he would have rather officiated the ceremony. I loved that idea too. Tragically my church wouldn't let him because they didn't agree with his faith. Sick hypocrites. Has they let me know that sooner I wouldn't have gotten married there.

[JennF]

Actually, if Jonathan hadn't asked our best man to be the best man...I totally would have asked him to be my bridesman!

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

My guy friends wouldnt go for it at all. I really think that Jonathan would put them on his side just as I would put his female friends on my side.

[asm198]

My 'maid of honor' is a guy. I'm calling him the 'dude of honor'.

[I'm That Girl]

No, I wouldn't do that.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I voted yes.

My daughter is my MOH and my son is my "bride's man". Hugh's son is his BM and his daughter is his "groom's gal".

[nikkiana]

When I first asked my wedding party, I was really set on having the wedding party be all female. Which is kinda funny seeing as I really don't have any girlfriends... I struggled so badly to come up with the two girls I did ask. One of them was in Budapest for half of my engagement, then was away at school. The second was in England for my entire engagement, then when she came back, she has been visiting friends and relatives all over the US (and she comes back tomorrow). So, for the majority of the planning process, I had no one. Sure, I could email them pictures, but the one who was in Budapest only checked her email once a week. Plus, neither of me BMs are married, nor have been in a wedding... So they don't really understand what goes into planning one.

In retrospect, I would have asked one of my male friends from school. He has proven to be the most helpful, wonderful support throughout the planning process. For one, he and his finace are getting married a month after FH and I are, so he knows first hand what goes into planning... He was who I went to for instant feedback on something. He just has been wonderful. Of course, I realized this a bit too late to ask him to be in the wedding.

[mlm063007]

I voted no, not because I dont think there is something wrong with it, just because it is not something that I would do.

[Trin]

I voted no because I wouldnt do it, I have nothing against people who do.

[LizabethDavis]

I voted no, only because it is not something I did. I think it is fine if you are close to that guy, but it is not something I would have ever done.

[mariaandmanish]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think that if your best friend is a man, you can ask him. If he's comfortable with it, then all's fair. As for the "women" events, he can choose how comfortable he is in participating in those events, and if not, then you can choose other events to do with him, including going to his fitting for his tux, and having lunch or other similar things.

[rainbowtreat]

I don't think any thign is wrong with it. If this is somethign you want and he is for it by all means. Here are a couple of pictures from my photographers web site, it is just the oppisite of what we are talking about but on the same idea. This shows girls on the guy's side. I like how they did the dresses.


http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/rainbowtreat/pg1sm-1.jpg (And this is an idea of how my book will be done, I so can't wait untill I see the pages before she sends them to be bound in the book.)

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/rainbowtreat/IMG_2980BWsm.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/rainbowtreat/IMG_2984BWsm.jpg

[nic1124]

I dont think anything is wrong with having a bridesman or man of honor.

[HalloweenBride]

I have two close (gay) male friends that I would've loved to have in my wedding, on MY side, but both unfortunately live out of state and while one might come to the wedding, he couldn't commit to being in it. I also have a straight male friend that I wanted (one of my bridesmaids boyfriends now, but we were all friends first) and steve wanted to be on either side, but he is in the coast guard and they refused his leave to be in the wedding. I have four bridesmaids, and steve has his best man, a groomsman and TWO groomswomen, our friend Dana (she introduced us) and his sister. They will be wearing black, and my girls are wearing red. I see nothing wrong with having people of opposite sex on my side! :grinhappy:

[WebLady]

I have seen both men on the bride's side and women on the groom's side. I have also seen a girl ring bearer.

I don't see a problem with it at all, it should be about what the couple want. But I am all for putting your own spin on things anyway ... I don't like to do things just because it is 'tradition' I do things what I want to do wherever I can get away with it and I sort of like to shock people ;)

[BriansBride07]

I voted Yes, even though not any of my male friends would do it. There is nothing wrong with going against tradition that is how new ones are born.