Need help with Stag & Doe Plans

[2010junebride]

My wedding party is not coming together on planning our stag and doe so I have decided to move things a long my self. Since we have no one really helping us pay for it, my future mother in law suggested having it in their back yard which I thought was a great idea.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice I could use?

I have never been to a stag and doe before, or any pre-wedding event. I am not really sure if our back yard idea will work out. I have only attended one wedding before and I never went to the shower or bachelorette so I'm not really sure how it is suppose go. I want it to be a fun relaxing time for my fiance and I. We decided on a stag and doe because aren't into strippers or hard core partying and we need the extra cash.

[gwenshack]

You could do a barbecue or something if you have a backyard at your disposal. :) I'm actually a little confused - does stag and doe mean you guys have the party together? I'm also confused by the "need the extra cash" part.

[2010junebride]

Well I mean, we didn't want bachelor, bachelorette parties so we want to have a stag and doe instead..
A stag and doe is a party for the bride and groom together to raise money, at least that is what I have read everywhere and heard about everywhere.
It the same thing as a Jack and Jill or Buck and Doe..etc
You sell tickets for people to buy in order to attend the party at like $15 each and have fun games and what not..
For example we are thinking of doing one game where there will be a cup on a table and you have to stand a certain distance away and toss a quarter, trying to get it in the cup, Whoever gets one in the cup will get a free beer or shot and all the quarters go to us to help pay for the wedding.

That is the only thing I know about a stag and doe though, and we also need more games if anyone has ideas.. My fiance's parents are letting us use their back yard for the party but I don't really have any ideas as to what we can do for food and what not.

[gwenshack]

Huh, that's interesting! I've never heard of that before. Learn something new every day. ;)

[2010junebride]

Sorry, with how much I have heard of stag and doe's everywhere else, I thought on here people would know what one is.
If anyone has any other ideas though besides a bachelorette party I would love the info, it would help a lot considering I have to plan it without much help from my bridal party.

here is more info on a stag and doe tho, for whoever else that may not know what it is;

http://www.yourwedding101.com/bridal-showers/stag-and-does.aspx (http://www.yourwedding101.com/bridal-showers/stag-and-does.aspx)

http://www.groomgroove.com/weddings_101/stag_and_doe.php

[Katie-ryn]

I know what a Stag/Buck and Doe is, but I'm from Ontario, too. I've never been to one, and we aren't having one, though, so I'm not much help.

All I know is you need tickets to get in, people to sell those tickets, door prizes/raffles, food and booze. I'm sure some music would be good, too.

I'm pretty sure you will need to get a liquor licence since you're selling tickets to get in then having alcohol. (At least that's how they're normally done)

[pinkbride]

stag and doe!! thats SO cute, in the uk we call them stag and hen... (which made me google why!? and couldnt find answers lol) but thats more like your bachelor/ette parties, me and fh are very much not interested lol, but a stag and doe is super cute!!:hi:

I think a bbq in the back yard with games and music would be cool, weather permitting!!

Good luck with your planning!! :yesnod:x

[BlondeBride]

I had never heard of them either Gwen.. until I met my fiance! heehee I think that stag and doe is pretty common in Canada whereas here in the US we are more used to just bachelor/bachelorette parties. It's a good way to get some extra money and have fun with a lot of people! We didn't have one, but I've heard there are usually games, a lot of drinking and dancing. I've never been to one though. :yesnod:

[jamt]

i have never heard of them either but i will try an come up with some party games you could do a quiz an for every wrong answer they put money in a jar i will have to ask fh as he is better at this kind of stuff than me i loved gwen's BBQ idea for the food

[The Proper Wedding]

I've heard of it (hehe and I'm actually from the US :P lol) I have never been to one though, so I would have to think a little while about ideas for you, I'll try to :) I think it's a wonderful idea, and if we were able to pull it off, I think we would do it too!

[bellaok2010]

My wedding party is not coming together on planning our stag and doe so I have decided to move things a long my self. Since we have no one really helping us pay for it, my future mother in law suggested having it in their back yard which I thought was a great idea.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice I could use?

I have never been to a stag and doe before, or any pre-wedding event. I am not really sure if our back yard idea will work out. I have only attended one wedding before and I never went to the shower or bachelorette so I'm not really sure how it is suppose go. I want it to be a fun relaxing time for my fiance and I. We decided on a stag and doe because aren't into strippers or hard core partying and we need the extra cash.
It is a good advice!

[gwenshack]

It is a good advice!

How can this be good advice when this is the question? :blink:

[vivchan17]

Hi Junebride2010! I'm from Ontario too. Stag & Doe's are very common here, but mostly in small towns - you don't see too many of them in the city. I've not been to one myself, but have heard a lot about them. We are debating whether to have one ourselves (a couple of friends offered to help us plan one) - but we are also definitely having a bachelor and bachelorette party as well. The big drawback for us is that we would be having it in the city (Toronto). So this is what I understand:

Usually, Stag and Doe's go over very well in small towns where everyone knows one another (and there is not much else to do on a Friday/Saturday night - townies are always looking for a new place to party). Regardless of where you are, the key to a successful stag and doe is selling LOTS of tickets and/or knowing people who are willing to spend some money once there. You will need a liquor license and those helping you with serving will have to have Smart Serve (or whatever the training is in the US to serve alcohol). Alcohol is definitely a great place to make lots of money. However, this is usually where you also have to invest some money to stock the bar. The good thing in Ontario is that if you don't open the alcohol, you can return it to the liquor store for a full refund.

There are usually raffles/silent auctions (often donated by friends, family and members of the wedding party). A friend of mine recently went to one where there was a silent auction and he won bids for a guitar and a 1 night hotel stay in Niagara Falls with a voucher for dinner (some very generous donations!). Another friend had each member of the wedding party bring a 26-er of alcohol and they raffled off 2 gift baskets of vodka, rum and whiskey. We would definitely have some sort of raffle/silent auction at ours - also very good money makers.

A couple of games we were thinking of:

1. Toonie ($2) toss - get a texas mickey of something and have people throw toonies at it all night (make sure its like 50 feet away or something ridiculous) and the person who gets the closest to the bottle gets to take it home.

2. Goldfish insurance - when people come in the door, ask if they want to purchase goldfish insurance ($1-$2). Everyone's ticket stubs get put into a draw and later names will be drawn. If your name is drawn and you don't have insurance, you can either choose to pay $5 or eat the goldfish. If you have insurance, you're in the clear!

Stag and Doe's are usually a lot of fun and great money makers if executed well. They are a lot of work and sometimes the investment is scary (its great that you will be having it in a family backyard - we would be renting a hall) so just make sure you have lots of support to help you carry it out and plan to ensure that you will at minimum, break even on the money. I'm not sure if you are planning on making it more intimate since you won't be having a bachelor/bachelorette party. Usually, more people = more money so there are often lots of people at these things that you might not even know directly (friends of friends). Although, you can totally make it intimate as well - it all depends on what you're looking for!

Phew! Long reply - sorry! Hope that helps! Good luck with the planning!

[joce2009]

Hi 2010junebride!

I hear your pain! We just had our stag and doe last weekend (we are from the Hamilton, Ontario area) and used a company called - Jack of all Spades. Their website is their name plus .ca. It won't let me post the link for some reason, so go to their Fundraiser Tips menu and it will take you from start to finish in how to plan one of these. It takes a lot of work, but they helped incredibly as they had a ton of games that helped raise money for us and told us exactly how to run them so that we could make a profit. We made $1500 off the games, and another $2200 off booze and admission tickets.

Make sure to check out their site as they made it easy to figure out how to plan it.

I would go with a hall too, cannot depend on the weather.

Good luck!