Under Pressure

[Elizabeth79]

Ive been engaged now for just over three weeks and already I'm being asked questions that stress me out. When are you getting married?...What are your colors?...Where will it be?....Where are you going for your honeymoon?

When I play planned my wedding, I thought I had all this decided. Now that I really have to make a decession, I have no idea what I want. I can't decide what colors I want...or where I want to have it. It makes me really upset thinking about all this stuff that I have to do. I dont have much help other then the FH and he and I are opp. when it comes to colors and styles.

So my question is, when does it get easier? When will I not want to elope!

[Kacie_bride]

Hey Elizabeth and welcome to OneWed and congrats on your engagement! My best piece of advice for you right now is to take it one step at a time. Do not worry about all the little details until you first decide on a date. Lots of things revolve around the date. For instance, if you have a spring date you'll want lighter colors. For a Fall wedding you might want copper brown or burgandy.

If people annoy you by asking to many questions just politely tell them you have not begun your planning and as of now you are your fiance are just enjoying your engagement and lettting it all soak in!

[AngelinLove]

Unfortuantley alot of times, it does not get easier...sorry to be the negative one here...but wedding planning is hard, stressful work. There are usually spurts of calm, but then the storm comes back. The best thing to do is take your time and take things one step at a time. Figure out what date you want, what style wedding (ie. casual, formal, big, small, etc.), and then go from there. About 9 months ago I wanted to elope, but decided to go through with teh big wedding and jumped in and started planning. I will be honest with you.....as muchas I love all my plans and am looking forward to my wedding...I wish I had just eloped!!! If that is something taht you might really want to do...do it!!! If not, welcome to Onewed, where all us ladies will do the best we can to help you through this wedding planning hell!!!!

[CindySue]

Honey....I was still wanting to elope the day of my wedding!!!! If you havent set a date yet, then Kacie is right, tell them youre just enjoying being engaged.
It took us a while to choose our colors too. Brian ended up picking them out (our birthstones) but when they were finally decided, everything else fell into place.
Easier? Probably not, but there will be times when you can handle the stress better than others.
Good Luck and Congrats!!! Oh! Welcome!!!

[cowboysbride]

It's part of it... but if you learn from the very beginning to

1) "No, thank you" and walk off to unsolicited suggestions
2)TELL not ASK your bridal party what you want
3) Do things your way the first time around.
4) Breathe and remember that you and he should be happy and have fun doing this don't let bad times or memories cloud you happy day!

[asm198]

My suggestion is to figure out what time of year you want to get married in, then narrow it down to a month. Then do reception site research, pick out your favorites and check them out. When you look at them, ask about their availability for that month. Then narrow your choices down to your top three, decide on an actual date, call them back, confirm they still have that date open and book!

We didn't do it that way and procrastinated so much that our top 5 places are booked on the date we wanted. And most are booked every Saturday in the month we wanted. My top two choices have been booked every Saturday next summer, and have been booked for several months.

I say to book the reception site first because I see it as the 'bones' of the wedding. Everything else you can be a bit more flexible with, but you have to have a place to host a reception, so it's the most important.

Well, obviously the ceremony site is the MOST important, but I figure that most people already have that detail decided as soon as they get engaged, either wanting their home church, a certain denomination, or an alternate venue.

As to what to say to people who ask lots of questions when you have nothing set in stone, I'd tell them that you are still basking in the newly engaged glow and are in the process of doing research to get exactly the wedding you want.

[LaceyinPgh]

First, there are a million and one boks about planning and organizing a wedding. Check out Barnes and Noble. Also remember, your opinion is the only one that matters, screw everyone else.

Now, my advice, is to run your wedding like a CIA mission (hopefully it will be more organized, more cost effective, and more successful, but that is another debate.) DO NOT DISCUSS ANYTHING WITH ANYONE!!! The moment you invite poeple into the wedding is when you lose control. When people ask questions, tell them that you aren't discussing your wedding, they will have to wait unitl the big day to be surprised. If they won't let up, ask them how much money they are going to give you to plan it. If people want to be rude, be rude right back. If people offer suggestions, just listen, it might be something good after all, if not just say thank you and do whatever it is that you want. As for asking people to do something or requesting something from your bridal party, family, vendors, ect. There is no asking, you tell them what you want and what you are going to do. If they don't like it, they are replaceable.

I fired bridesmaids, threatened vendors with legal actions, stopped talking to half of family, and basically let it be know that my wedding was my wedding so back the hell off! But, I got the exact wedding that I wanted and don't regret a single thing.

You aren't obligated to do anything, appease anyone, or give in on anything. Just plan your wedding and be happy with it. The moment I followed my own advice is the moment that my sanity came back.

[nikkiana]

I agree 100% with asm198's advice. Start thinking of what time of year you'd like to have your wedding and possible venues and then use that to narrow it down.

It's hard not to get annoyed with all the questions about stuff from friends and relatives, but you've got to realize that they're just excited too! :)

[Elizabeth79]

Thanks for all the advice. I am still holding strong to the 9-15-07 date. It's up to the FH to make appts to see all the places. We'll see if that date sticks.