SoontobeMrsClark07
07-24-2006, 12:34 PM
She's been good for a little while, but just in the past few days she's blown up again. Sorry this is a little long.
She found out on Sunday (16th) that I had reserved the reception site. She got really really mad and didnt come to my birthday celebration with the family (I'm not a little kid anymore but I still wanted her to be there). Monday was my actual birthday and she was supposed to come to my surprise party and she didnt because she was still mad. So Tuesday, I went to their house and I talked to her. I told her that I was sorry I missed her at the parties and that maybe her and I can go out and do something later. She responded with "dont hold your breath."
After speaking with her mom, I found out that apparently she still thought somewhere in her head that I was going to change my date so she could have it. Now that I've secured the site, she knows I'm not changing my mind. I let it go and dropped it.
Her boyfriend's birthday was on Thursday and so we had a very small thing at his apartment to celebrate. When we were there, she kept making comments about their wedding and their honeymoon. She would ask me questions about my wedding and I just simply told her that I didnt think that it was the appropriate time or place for that and I would be happy to talk to her about it some other time.
On sunday, we surprised FSIL's boyfriend at his apartment with a much larger party. As soon as we said surprise, she was all about showing everyone her promise ring. I told her it was beautiful and left it at that... until gifts. She, instead of letting her boyfriend open his gifts, wanted to display all of the things she had picked up in Williamsburg over the weekend. She pulled out a characature of a blonde haired bride being chased by a very dark haired groom with a gotee. FMIL and everyone else thought she had brought that back for me (because the wedding dress on the bride looked exactly like my dress, and the same with the ring in the guy's hand nto to mention FSIL has dark hair and her bf has no gotee). She told everyone that she is going to shrink the picture to be her engagement announcements. We all just kinda shrugged it off.
As the party went on, people started to leave because it wasnt about her boyfriends birthday, it was about her wedding plans. She stood up for over an hour and preached about it. Finally, Jonathan was fed up and said "we're leaving." She wouldnt let him because she wanted me to hear all of her plans to make sure that none of them were going to be used in my wedding. And it wasnt like she was asking me, she was telling me. Well Jonathan and I left anyway and went to his house to finish his homework. She followed us home and continued to tell us every little thing. It was really starting to make me mad...
I calmly looked at her and told her that I was very happy that she has all of her wedding planned out, but her decisions have no effect on my decisions. I told her that I have my own ideas and nothing you say is going to persuade those ideas. She then said "its my wedding and you will not duplicate it." I asked her when she was getting married, she said 2008, and then I told her that there would be no duplication problems because my wedding will take place in 2007.
I really thought that was the end of it... she sent me a very long email (that i forwardered to FH) telling me how she didnt appreciate the way I talked to her and that she wasnt going to put up with someone telling her what to do. She called me a very long list of names and vented her frustrations toward me. I havent responded to the email yet and dont know if I will...
I can imagine how she feels. She wants to get engaged again and she sees me doing what she was supposed to be doing if she was still engaged. I can understand her feelings but not the way she's expressing them.
We havent told her about the engagement party yet, but we have a mass email going out to our bridal party to inform them of the event before invitations go out. I'm scared of whats going to happen when that happens. Her mom told us not to tell her until the email goes out because of her behavior.
I'm so lost on how I should handle this. Can anyone offer me some advice? Did I handle it wrong or am I on the right track? I want to eliminate problems from her... I really like her but this stuff makes me mad.
She found out on Sunday (16th) that I had reserved the reception site. She got really really mad and didnt come to my birthday celebration with the family (I'm not a little kid anymore but I still wanted her to be there). Monday was my actual birthday and she was supposed to come to my surprise party and she didnt because she was still mad. So Tuesday, I went to their house and I talked to her. I told her that I was sorry I missed her at the parties and that maybe her and I can go out and do something later. She responded with "dont hold your breath."
After speaking with her mom, I found out that apparently she still thought somewhere in her head that I was going to change my date so she could have it. Now that I've secured the site, she knows I'm not changing my mind. I let it go and dropped it.
Her boyfriend's birthday was on Thursday and so we had a very small thing at his apartment to celebrate. When we were there, she kept making comments about their wedding and their honeymoon. She would ask me questions about my wedding and I just simply told her that I didnt think that it was the appropriate time or place for that and I would be happy to talk to her about it some other time.
On sunday, we surprised FSIL's boyfriend at his apartment with a much larger party. As soon as we said surprise, she was all about showing everyone her promise ring. I told her it was beautiful and left it at that... until gifts. She, instead of letting her boyfriend open his gifts, wanted to display all of the things she had picked up in Williamsburg over the weekend. She pulled out a characature of a blonde haired bride being chased by a very dark haired groom with a gotee. FMIL and everyone else thought she had brought that back for me (because the wedding dress on the bride looked exactly like my dress, and the same with the ring in the guy's hand nto to mention FSIL has dark hair and her bf has no gotee). She told everyone that she is going to shrink the picture to be her engagement announcements. We all just kinda shrugged it off.
As the party went on, people started to leave because it wasnt about her boyfriends birthday, it was about her wedding plans. She stood up for over an hour and preached about it. Finally, Jonathan was fed up and said "we're leaving." She wouldnt let him because she wanted me to hear all of her plans to make sure that none of them were going to be used in my wedding. And it wasnt like she was asking me, she was telling me. Well Jonathan and I left anyway and went to his house to finish his homework. She followed us home and continued to tell us every little thing. It was really starting to make me mad...
I calmly looked at her and told her that I was very happy that she has all of her wedding planned out, but her decisions have no effect on my decisions. I told her that I have my own ideas and nothing you say is going to persuade those ideas. She then said "its my wedding and you will not duplicate it." I asked her when she was getting married, she said 2008, and then I told her that there would be no duplication problems because my wedding will take place in 2007.
I really thought that was the end of it... she sent me a very long email (that i forwardered to FH) telling me how she didnt appreciate the way I talked to her and that she wasnt going to put up with someone telling her what to do. She called me a very long list of names and vented her frustrations toward me. I havent responded to the email yet and dont know if I will...
I can imagine how she feels. She wants to get engaged again and she sees me doing what she was supposed to be doing if she was still engaged. I can understand her feelings but not the way she's expressing them.
We havent told her about the engagement party yet, but we have a mass email going out to our bridal party to inform them of the event before invitations go out. I'm scared of whats going to happen when that happens. Her mom told us not to tell her until the email goes out because of her behavior.
I'm so lost on how I should handle this. Can anyone offer me some advice? Did I handle it wrong or am I on the right track? I want to eliminate problems from her... I really like her but this stuff makes me mad.