So frustrated!!!

[Deidre98]

I am so frustrated with my godmother at the moment!!! Our parents are throwing us an engagement party at my grandmother's house in August. Our guest list already has over 80 people. Well, today we get a phone call from my godmother's sister RSVPing for her family (4 people) and her brother's family (5 people) when they weren't even invited!!! Obviously my godmother and her husband and my godsister and my godbrother were but not their extended family!! We do know them and have invited them to other things in the past and they are going to be invited to the wedding but not the engagement party because of the limited space and amount of people. I cannot believe people are already adding themselves when they never got an invitation!! Needless to say, my mom is stunned and my dad is MAD. Unfortunately my mom doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but we can't keep adding people to the list. Their isn't enough room!!!! :censored::chair:

[Marion]

:confused: Why do people do that!? Jeez, I don't know what to say except that it would make me mad also! I can understand your mom not wanting to say anything to make them upset BUT they shouldnt have invited themselves! Is there any way you can call your God Mother and explain that the space is limited and therefore you arent able to accomodate them?

[MOB Karen]

That is just rude. If something like that happened with Amber's wedding, we would have just told them that we're sorry, we wish we could accommdate everyone, but there is simply not enough room. Good luck! :)

[hummingbird521]

The arrogance of some people astounds me. While your mother may not want to upset them I believe I would talk to them and tell them about the limited space before they possibly invite anyone else to come.

[The Wedding Diva]

Hi there :) What a icky way to start the week!

While you may not want to hurt any feelings, remember that how you act now sets the tone for later. I think, personally, it is important that you stick to your guns-- if she and her immediately family were the only ones who were invited, then those should be the only ones in attendance.

To avoid any hurt feelings and resentment, why not tell her that you appreciate the love and support, but right now, your guest list cannot accommodate any extra people. Suggest that maybe you, your fiance, parents, her family and brother's family can get together for dinner or something like that. The fact is plain and simple, if you wanted them there, you would have invited them.

You do not want this type of free for all happening when it comes time for you to send out your invitations (big pet peeve of mind, 4 are invited but they cross that out and put 6). So again, how you respond now, will set the tone for later. Don't look at it as a bad thing, you can be diplomatic about this. You can even add that you will extend an invitation to the party should someone send any regrets.

I hope it works out for you!


PS-- also, I wouldn't recommend that you be the one to sasy this; the pressure shouldn't be put on you as you are the guests of honor. Instead, your parents, sibling or perhaps the host should be the ones to say this. You are the very last resort.

[Deidre98]

Well after I posted last night, my dad decided they needed to call my godmother and get this situation straightened out. He was not happy at all about all the extra people being added and he wanted to put a stop to it. I have no idea how it turned out but hopefully it worked out well. I feel bad for my mom because she is an only child and these people have been like siblings to her but the fact of the matter still remains. We have too many people already that are invited and there is no way the house can accomodate more people. Thanks girls for the advice!! I will let you know what happens!

[Kacie_bride]

Good luck! I'm sure it went fine.

[Deidre98]

Well, my mom didn't call her last night because my brother came over and really made her mad and she didn't think it was wise to call and discuss this when she was angry. But, my lovely FH decided that maybe it would be better to have separate engagement parties so that his family goes to one and my family goes to another. Unfortunatley the whole idea for the engagement party was to get the two families together before the wedding. DOH!!! Seriously, I am over this thing and ready to elope.

[mj512]

I really don't have any advice because I haven't had this situation, but I would just say don't stress too much, you want your parties to be pleasant for you, don't let anyone else ruin that for you

[The Wedding Diva]

I agree, not having the families get together totally defeats the purpose of the engagement parties. Think about it, all of that trouble with more money spent just to avoid telling one person that they can't come?

[WhiskeyGirl]

It's like someone else said, if you don't stand up now things will just snow ball and people will walk all over you! Take it from me, I'm trying to clean up that kind of mess with my BIL and his wife now and it's hard to start being a hard a$$ when you were so leniant in the past!!!

[mariaandmanish]

Deidre- I am so sorry that you are going through this. I definitely agree that having two engagement parties defeats the purpose, and I also agree that you need to stand up for it now, to your FH and others. I hope that this gets resolved soon, and that it works out how you want it too. Good luck!

[Deidre98]

Well my dad put his foot down and said no. So, two parties is out of the question. Now mom is trying to figure out how many people are invited and how many would come. If the numbers are still outrageous, then they are going to say something. If not, we are stuck with 10 uninvited guests.

[mariaandmanish]

Well my dad put his foot down and said no. So, two parties is out of the question. Now mom is trying to figure out how many people are invited and how many would come. If the numbers are still outrageous, then they are going to say something. If not, we are stuck with 10 uninvited guests.


That really stinks that you may have to have people there who were not invited. I hope that it turns out well. And if it doesn't, try to go with the flow and not get too stressed. Good luck!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Well my dad put his foot down and said no. So, two parties is out of the question. Now mom is trying to figure out how many people are invited and how many would come. If the numbers are still outrageous, then they are going to say something. If not, we are stuck with 10 uninvited guests.

it's like I always tell my DH...Don't roll over and die, stand up for your rights! you don't want them there then don't let them be there! Stand up for yourself, don't be a push over!

(Just my opinion though!)

[The Wedding Diva]

All's well that ends well, if it all possible try not to get caught up in the nitty gritty of it. Enjoy what the celebration is for :)

Best to you,

TWD