Annulments?

[jt555]

What's the deal with annulments? My FH has been married before and I was reading on another post that the marriage license won't be valid without an annulment. He's divorced, I didn't know you had to have the annulment also. Is an annulment necessary also?

We're also getting married in the Catholic church so I know we'll have to go through that type of annulment. Please tell me that we don't have to do both.

[ladymelissa]

Was his previous marriage in the Catholic church? If so and you wish to marry in the Catholic church you will need to go through their annulment process which is extremely invasive and lengthy. If he already has a divorce than you are part of the way there. If you choose to marry either in a civil service or any other religion then the divorce papers is all you would need to get your marriage license which is sufficient.

In an annulment your FH will have to answer lengthy, essay style questions; basically write an auto biography complete with references. Then all that paperwork is sent to your diocese and the case is heard by a head bishop or vicar and it proceeds almost like a court hearing and a decision on whether they grant the annulment or not is made. The whole thing can easily take about a year or more.

We were in the same boat, I was raised Catholic and my DH (FH at the time) had previously married in the Catholic church (even though he is not Catholic). After seeing what a fiasco they make the annulment process, to the point of involving his ex we decided to go with a different church. I felt that the Catholics were making themselves and their organization out to be bigger than the law, not to mention the Catholic faith is not something I view as central to my person and this was pretty much the last straw.

[LaceyinPgh]

You don't have have an annulment if you get a divorce. They really are the same thing. As long as you have the paperwork from either the divorce or the annulment you rmarriage license is fine.

Now if you want to get married in the Catholic Church you need the Church to grant an annulment in the case of divorce but ONLY if the previous marriage also took place in the Catholic Church. This process can take a long time though and isn't guaranteed.

[WebLady]

Like Lacey said, if your FH is already divorced there is no need for an annulment. However, like both Lacey and Melissa said, you may have to go through this process in order for the Catholic Church to 'approve' your marriage.

I used to have a Catholic friend that wasn't allowed to marry in the church since she had been married before. But I don't know all the details to this kind of thing since I am not Catholic.

Good luck with all this! Congrats and Welcome to the board by the way :D

[MOB Karen]

What's the deal with annulments? My FH has been married before and I was reading on another post that the marriage license won't be valid without an annulment. He's divorced, I didn't know you had to have the annulment also. Is an annulment necessary also?

We're also getting married in the Catholic church so I know we'll have to go through that type of annulment. Please tell me that we don't have to do both.

I also think that when you have an annulment, it is considered like you have never been married before. Where a divorce, you have.

[WebLady]

I found this info on Annulments ...

Annulment is more quaint than divorce. The concept of annulment is an old-fashioned one adopted by state legislatures many years ago at the behest of certain religions which publicly opposed divorce, but privately recognized that certain marriages were simply not meant to be.

To get an annulment, you must usually meet specific requirements of your state's law, such as pleading that the marriage was based on one spouse's fraudulent premarital statement -- legalese for Big Lie. For example, in many states, if a prospective husband professed that he wanted to have children, but knew this was impossible because he had an irreversible vasectomy, this might be grounds for an annulment based on fraud.

When it comes to dividing property, determining custody or child support or other practical matters, there is little real difference between an annulment and a divorce.

My advice on this, nearly the bottom line: Unless one of you has an extremely strong objection to divorce, that is best route to take, since you need not allege anything but that the two of you did not get along.

Apparetntly in the Catholic religion, annument is the only accepted option ...

* Marriage is a sacrament that is indissoluble. Once a valid marriage has been consummated, it endures until one spouse dies.

* The church does not issue divorces or recognize divorces issued by other institutions.

* The church can issue an annulment. However, the couple must first prove to a church tribunal that the marriage was invalid.

A Catholic annulment, or a declaration of nullity or invalidity, is a statement of fact, by the Catholic Church, that a valid marriage (as defined by the Catholic Church) never existed ... The annulment process says, "from the very beginning, there wasn't what was necessary for this relationship to be called a marriage."

[ladymelissa]

Yes, MOB Karen is right. A Catholic annulment basically means that the previous marriage was doomed from the start and should have never been: therefore if they grant it, it's as if the marriage never was (which IMO is kind of whacked). But that just contributes to my view of the Catholics, they just can't/don't want to admit they or anyone in their church ever makes mistakes. It's like them saying, "I can't even admit to marrying these people in the first place b/c it didn't work out, so I guess we didn't." Like you simply cannot have a failed marriage. But an annulment can't erase the past, obviously he was previously married and has memories and such.

I don't mean to get on a rant here. In fact some of the questions in the annulment process are good and DH and I discussed them all among ourselves. Do what is best for you, just know that it is a very involved process and like Lacey said, "is not guaranteed."

[jt555]

ladymelissa, from reading your post I feel a little more hopeful. My FH wants to become Catholic possibly so we're most likely looking into the Catholic annulment issue. Here's the background his previous marriage was a civil ceremony neither were Catholic, so does that mean no Catholic annulment is necessary? I agree ladymelissa the whole thing is a huge task and makes you want to not bother trying, I'm already overwhelmed and we haven't even started in on anything. Thanks to everyone for all the great info.

[WebLady]

... My FH wants to become Catholic possibly so we're most likely looking into the Catholic annulment issue. Here's the background his previous marriage was a civil ceremony neither were Catholic, so does that mean no Catholic annulment is necessary? ...
From what little I know about the Catholic faith, I would say yes, if your FH wants to convert to Catholicism then he might have to go through the annulment process. I would guess it would be harder for him to be accepted in the church if he didn't. Some Catholic Priests won't even marry someone that has been divorced, especially if they aren't Catholic.

Again, I wish you the best in dealing with this. I know this kind of thing can be frustrating.

[LaceyinPgh]

ladymelissa, from reading your post I feel a little more hopeful. My FH wants to become Catholic possibly so we're most likely looking into the Catholic annulment issue. Here's the background his previous marriage was a civil ceremony neither were Catholic, so does that mean no Catholic annulment is necessary? I agree ladymelissa the whole thing is a huge task and makes you want to not bother trying, I'm already overwhelmed and we haven't even started in on anything. Thanks to everyone for all the great info.
If his last marriage wasn't performed in the Catholic Church, the church itself does not consider it a "real" marriage so there isn't any need for an annulment. He doesn't even need to convert anymore for you to have a Catholic ceremony.

[ladymelissa]

Lacey said it best since his first marriage was not in the Catholic church then they don't consider him ever married and a Catholic annulment won't be necessary. You will still have to present the notarized divorce papers to the court when you go to get your civil marriage license, so that when you are married it is recognized not only by the church but the legal system as well. Talk to your priest or officiant, they will tell you everything you need b/c the laws can vary from state to state. FH won't even have to convert to being a Catholic to be married in the church, as long as you promise to raise any children you would have as Catholics (which is a whole other issue).

My DH, wasn't ever Catholic, but his first wife was and they were married in the Catholic church. That is why an annulment would have been necessary if we were to marry in the Catholic church.

[purple_octopus]

Here is a good Q&A style article about annulments in the Catholic church:

www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac1002.asp It is not necessarily true that an annulment will not be required because he was not previously married in the Catholic Church. (It may, however, be easier to obtain.) You will want to talk to your priest about this one. Here is an excerpt from the article that seems appropriate to your situation:

3 How can you require an intended spouse who is not a Catholic to endure this annulment process?

In simplest terms, if a Catholic wishes to marry in the Church when there has been a previous marriage, then either one of the partners in the earlier union must have died or the Church must have issued a declaration of nullity, an annulment of that previous marriage. Why is this so?

The Catholic Church views all marriages with respect. It resumes that they are true or valid. Thus, it considers the marriages, for example, of two Protestant, Jewish or even nonbelieving persons to be binding in the eyes of God, unions covered by the words of Christ about divorce. Consequently, it requires a Church annulment process to establish that an essential ingredient in the relationship was missing from the start of the previous marriage.

Such a requirement often represents an unpleasant challenge to Protestant, Jewish or nonbelieving persons who wish to marry a Catholic after the civil termination of a previous marriage. They may have no difficulty with remarriage after divorce and even feel resentful about the prospects of a Roman Catholic formal annulment procedure.

I would never try to explain or resolve this thorny and emotional issue over the telephone, but only face-to-face. The explanations above may help to clarify the issue, but negative feelings often remain. After hearing their often painful stories and explaining the Church’s procedures, I offer a comment along these lines: “The only reason you would go through this process is out of love for your prospective marriage partner. Without the annulment, marriage in the Church is not validly possible. This is a prospect that will trouble your intended spouse now and in the future. For you to complete the procedure would be a great act of self-giving love.”

Like others have said, if you're not concerned about having a Catholic wedding, you don't need to worry about the annulment. It's only an issue if it is important to you and your FH to marry in the Church.

[CindySue]

Ok...I cant really help here but I do have a question. If I missed this, Im sorry. I understand about the church requiring the annulment for their reasons, but thats all it is right? I mean to legally end a marriage you would still have to obtain a divorce right? The annulment through the church is for the church only?

[purple_octopus]

Ok...I cant really help here but I do have a question. If I missed this, Im sorry. I understand about the church requiring the annulment for their reasons, but thats all it is right? I mean to legally end a marriage you would still have to obtain a divorce right? The annulment through the church is for the church only?
Pretty much. There are legal annulments also, depending on what state you live in (and I'm not a lawyer, but I think someone in this thread already mentioned legal annulments). The Catholic Church wouldn't recognize a "legal" annulment, and the courts would probably not recognize a Church annulment. (Although in the latter case, a legal annulment might help in obtaining a Church one -- but it wouldn't be a substitute.)

But basically, to end a marriage according to the laws of the state, all that is necessary is a legal divorce.

[CindySue]

But basically, to end a marriage according to the laws of the state, all that is necessary is a legal divorce.
I understand that. SO if you plan to get remarried in a Catholic church, you pretty much have to get "divorced" all over again, but in their way?

[purple_octopus]

I understand that. SO if you plan to get remarried in a Catholic church, you pretty much have to get "divorced" all over again, but in their way?
Yep. And there are no guarantees that an annulment would even be granted. There are very specific criteria, and if the specific case can't be explained to the tribunal in such a way that it fits the criteria, it will get denied.

I have never personally been through an annulment, but my mother has. Hers was actually quite easy to obtain. But I've known other people for whom it was a royal pain. I have one friend getting married in October who is having a non-Catholic wedding specifically because the annulment process was too stressful for her to handle. (Like ladymelissa, she got fed up.)