Maid-of-honor dress etiquette question

[anashenwrath]

I've been given the amazing privilege of being Maid of Honor for my best friend (we've only known each other a few years, but we just "clicked.") I would really like some opinions on the following situation.

The bride has already picked out her bridal party dresses. They're beautiful and I look forward to wearing mine. While we were looking at pics of them online, she commented that she loved it so much, she would almost be tempted to buy one for herself. She and I are very similar in size, so I had the thought that it might be a nice gesture to offer her my dress after the wedding. But of course, I've immediately been plagued with doubt. Is it common for brides to say something like that, without actually meaning it? Would offering her the dress imply that I didn't want it or thought I would never wear it again? Is it just plain rude to make such an offer? The LAST thing I want to do is offend her!

I know it really depends on the person and I'm probably the best judge of whether it's a good idea, but you know, bridal things can sometimes follow invisble rules, so a general consensus would definitely help. Brides: would you say you loved/wanted the bridesmaid dress without meaning it? How would you feel if your MoH/bridesmaid offered you her dress?

Thanks for any input!

[WebLady]

I guess this really depends on the bride and your relationship to her. I know if this was a friend of mine I would come out and tell her she could wear mine after the wedding if she wanted ;)

So maybe don't offer it to her per-say, but if she mentions how much she likes it again just tell her she is welcome to borrow yours anytime she wants.

[gwenshack]

I guess this really depends on the bride and your relationship to her. I know if this was a friend of mine I would come out and tell her she could wear mine after the wedding if she wanted ;)

So maybe don't offer it to her per-say, but if she mentions how much she likes it again just tell her she is welcome to borrow yours anytime she wants.

Yeah, totally. I was going to say the same thing. Offer to let her borrow it and see if she takes you up on it. That way you don't insult her by giving away the dress from her wedding and she'll still have the option to wear it if she so chooses. If she does borrow it you can always say something like "Wow! That looks so amazing on you! It looks better on you than on me - maybe you should hang on to it!"

[dearmissie]

Wow, lucky that the dress is so nice even the bride wants one!! Better than getting something so ugly you'd never want to wear it again!! And I think that's a sweet gesture to give her the dress. I think she'd be touched. I've heard from many brides that they wish they bought a BMsdress for themselves because they liked it so much.

[FFC]

I told my girls over and over how jealous I was of their dresses because I wanted one for myself. I looooove my BM's dresses! I would have been ecstatic if one of my girls offered me their dress, but because of the price tag, I'd have also offered to pay for it. So I guess it's like Brandi said, it all depends on the bride.

[jennybaby]

All the other ladies have it right on. Test the waters and see if she'd like to borrow it. If so, then offer for her to keep it because you are so grateful. I would take it to mean a lot if my MOH and I both knew I loved the dress so much. It does depend on the bride, though.

[anashenwrath]

wow, I wander away for a few days, and look at all the great replies!

Thank you so much for the advice. I think at the fitting, if she makes a comment about wishing she had the dress or that she might buy it for herself, I'll tell her she can borrow mine whenever she'd like and gauge her response. Then, maybe after things have settled down for her, I'll get her to try it on and, if she loves it, I'll tell her that I would be honored if she accepted it as a gift.

You guys are all great! Thank you so much!