fFiL! (long, sorry!)

[mariaandmanish]

oops! couldn't undo!

[LaceyinPgh]

I totally understand that your fh is torn because it is a totally different culture that he was raised in. Indians have that respect for elders and family above all other things. I feel really bad for Manish because I can imagine how torn he is between you and trying to walk the line with his dad. I also feel bad for your fmil because she sounds like she is trying to just love her son's happiness. You are REALLY lucky to get an accepting and helpful mil.

But, you said so yourself. Your ffil is a miserable human being. (I know how miserable people work because I am related to a few.) I would just tell Manish to tell his father (and if he won't that you will) that the two of you are doing things differently. You didn't mean to slight him or family. But the fact of the matter is that you are both adults capable of making your own decisions. This isn't India, things are done differently here. He can either come to the wedding and enjoy himself or he can sit at home and pout like a child. Either way, you will both still be getting married in two weeks. You will both have a wonderful day. And, his misery won't ruin it.

I know that there is nothing worse than not having a family member show up at your wedding. If you read a couple of other threads that I have poste in today you will see that I know that I am talking about. But, reassure Manish that no matter what you still love him. His mother still loves him and will be there. The people who really care about the both you will still be there. He won't even notice that his father is sitting at home because a donkey's behind that day. The only persons' happiness Manish is responsible for is him own (and yours to a slight degree) he needs to just focus on making himself happy.

[MOB Karen]

I agree. He is a miserable human being, and even if you fix this problem for him now, he will just find something else to be miserable about later. You can never make miserable people happy, because they just enjoy it so much. I say just make each other happy first and foremost, and move forward with your wedding! Good luck with trying to walk that line though. :D

[WebLady]

Sorry you are going through this! But yeah, unfortunatly you usually can't change ppl. Misery love company, so these type ppl will try to bring you down to their level ... don't let them. Try not to let what other ppl do, say or think have much affect on your life.

Best of luck to you and your FH! :hug:

[mariaandmanish]

I'd rather not make a scene, and I can always vent later. I do not want to be upset about this during that day at all!!

Again, thanks for the support.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm happy this has been resolved to a certain degree. I hope things can only get better for you. Maybe just maybe FFIL is doing this thinking he will get his way and then tada your day shows up and so does he. If he truly loves his son he will be there no matter what! I hope all goes well for you! Take care!! :) Only 11 more days to go! ;)

[mariaandmanish]

:) Only 11 more days to go! ;)


AHHH!! 11 days! I can not believe it's already so close! It's funny, too, because I haven't really had time to be excited or nervous... but when I say 11 days to myself, my heart and stomach flutter. I love that! I was worried about not being excited! Now I am! Yay!

[WhiskeyGirl]

AHHH!! 11 days! I can not believe it's already so close! It's funny, too, because I haven't really had time to be excited or nervous... but when I say 11 days to myself, my heart and stomach flutter. I love that! I was worried about not being excited! Now I am! Yay!

I cannot wait to see pictures from your wedding. I was watching tv the other day and there was a traditional Indian wedding on. It was very different but so pretty! I can't wait to see how yours will turn out! I just know that you are going to make a beautiful bride and it is going to be so gorgeous!! :)

[mariaandmanish]

I'm going to take pics tomorrow of my wedding and reception dresses and I will post them for everyone's view. Thanks for the good wishes, shawna!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm going to take pics tomorrow of my wedding and reception dresses and I will post them for everyone's view. Thanks for the good wishes, shawna!

No problem!! And we LOVE pictures!! YAY!

[brewsells]

Maria, I am really sorry that your FFIL is putting you and Manish through all of this. It really sucks when people have to make other people miserable just to be happy.
I am glad you FMIL will be able to attend.
I am really excited to see how things turn out. I love any celebration from other cultures. I really find them interesting!

[cowboysbride]

Maria, I am so sorry I didn't see this post earlier, as the ladies have said though I can see it is resolved to a certain degree and I wish you the best! I hope you FFIL decides to come to the wedding though, but at least your FMIL will be there and when you have her on your side that will help tremendously in the future, best of luck!