Caught in a Hard Spot

[Tiab]

Hello all,

I am in need of some advice. My future mother-in-law has offered for me to wear her wedding dress. We are planning for a destination wedding, so the dress I was planning on would be a casual but elegant kind. She has offered to pay for any alteration that I would want to get done to it (which would most likely ALOT). I don't have a problem with the dress part, but I know I will feel guilty for her paying for the atlerations, they aren't made of money and I know they are saving to be at the wedding in Negril. Can anyone offer me some opinions???

Thanks,
Tira

[ladymelissa]

Have you already purchased the dress you were planning on wearing?

Do you really love the one your FMIL is offering?

If you like your FMIL's dress and you haven't yet purchased the other one you could take hers to a seamstress and get a cost estimate on the alterations and see what both of you think at that point. The bottom line: you are entitled to wear a dress you love and it is not at all rude to politely decline her offer for any reason.

Do you have pics of these dresses?

[Tiab]

Hi,

I have only seen pictures of this dress. It is a very pretty dress, and I would love to wear it, just not in Jamaica (LOL) There will be a lot of alterations we would have to do. I feel bad leaving all the cost to her. Plus my fiance is her only child which has made this all more worse. She has a client that is a seamstress and she said she could get a nice deal on it. The only problem with that, is that she is almost 2hrs away.

Tira

[ladymelissa]

It is a very pretty dress, and I would love to wear it, just not in Jamaica (LOL)

It sounds like you just don't really want to wear it for your wedding, it doesn't fit your "vision" and that is perfectly fine. Just tell your FMIL that you deeply appreciate the offer but it's not the dress you had in mind for the occasion and/or location. Don't try to rationalize major wedding decisions based on other's feelings, you will regret it. I am not saying be a total bridezilla either, but the dress is a really big, personal decision.

[ladymelissa]

I just thought of this...

Are you planning on having a larger reception when you get home? Maybe you could compromise and wear her dress for that.

[Tiab]

Very true, she said she would totally understand if I didn't want to. But i know deep down she will be hurt. I am trying to find other ways to get her invovled to bypass the whole dress thing LOL.

Tira

[Tiab]

That is an awesome Idea. I can maybe figure something out that way.