wedbyjean
04-30-2005, 11:57 AM
By now, most of you has heard the latest on the missing bride situation. While we’re all relieved that no foul play was involved, many of us have probably thought “how selfish of her,” (myself included, no guilt-trips intended here), hers was not an act done out of selfish thinking. Selfishness involves some sort of rationalness. Telling her FH that she’s going jogging just four days before the wedding day, only to hop a bus and end up in NV and NM, THEN claiming to have been kidnapped and let go by her abductors, is not a rational act.
It’s doubtful that she was feeling perfectly fine about things, then on Tuesday morning had a sudden revelation. Who knows what pre-wedding stresses this woman had, but she let them get the best of her. Knowing the stresses we have/had in regards to our own wedding days, we can merely speculate what hers were. Was the wedding too large for her? (600 people!) Too soon? Not what she really wanted for her wedding day? (Many can relate with their own stories of meddling parents/in-laws/friends who are telling us what we should be doing). Not sure if he is really “the one,” to a thousand other possibilities.
However, my point is not WHY she did what she did, but how she could have prevented it from snowballing into the Front Page/Top Story news situation that it has become. As human beings, we have different mechanisms to combat stress. Many of us choose methods like shopping, eating, taking a long bubble bath, to release this pressure. Sometimes our psyches do this for us in the form of strange wedding “nightmares.” Usually these do the trick. Other times they don’t. When the pressure is still there, approach the source and Talk About It! “Mom and Dad, I really love you, and appreciate that you want my wedding day to be wonderful, but it is just too much/too many people/fill in the blank for my and FH.” “Darling, I love you, but we’re planning this wedding too quickly for my comfort level.” Put plans on hold if necessary. Post pone the wedding date if you have to. You are allowed to do that!
You may think that there will be people who may be inconvenienced, the vendor deposits that may be lost, what people will think, Mom will be mad at me . . . But, isn’t that a better alternative than the route the Georgia bride took? By waiting until the last minute whomever was paying for this wedding will potentially be paying for an event that will not take place. She had friends and family (not to mention her parents had poor fiancé) as well as the whole country worrying about her safety. It ended up with police and the FBI being involved. And, to top it off, all on National TV!
Don’t let yourself get to that place of no return, thinking that your only option is to run.
It’s doubtful that she was feeling perfectly fine about things, then on Tuesday morning had a sudden revelation. Who knows what pre-wedding stresses this woman had, but she let them get the best of her. Knowing the stresses we have/had in regards to our own wedding days, we can merely speculate what hers were. Was the wedding too large for her? (600 people!) Too soon? Not what she really wanted for her wedding day? (Many can relate with their own stories of meddling parents/in-laws/friends who are telling us what we should be doing). Not sure if he is really “the one,” to a thousand other possibilities.
However, my point is not WHY she did what she did, but how she could have prevented it from snowballing into the Front Page/Top Story news situation that it has become. As human beings, we have different mechanisms to combat stress. Many of us choose methods like shopping, eating, taking a long bubble bath, to release this pressure. Sometimes our psyches do this for us in the form of strange wedding “nightmares.” Usually these do the trick. Other times they don’t. When the pressure is still there, approach the source and Talk About It! “Mom and Dad, I really love you, and appreciate that you want my wedding day to be wonderful, but it is just too much/too many people/fill in the blank for my and FH.” “Darling, I love you, but we’re planning this wedding too quickly for my comfort level.” Put plans on hold if necessary. Post pone the wedding date if you have to. You are allowed to do that!
You may think that there will be people who may be inconvenienced, the vendor deposits that may be lost, what people will think, Mom will be mad at me . . . But, isn’t that a better alternative than the route the Georgia bride took? By waiting until the last minute whomever was paying for this wedding will potentially be paying for an event that will not take place. She had friends and family (not to mention her parents had poor fiancé) as well as the whole country worrying about her safety. It ended up with police and the FBI being involved. And, to top it off, all on National TV!
Don’t let yourself get to that place of no return, thinking that your only option is to run.