Reception RSVP's

[auchlisa]

Does anyone know how many to plan for the reception. We sent out invitations inviting 180 guests. We have gotten rsvp's for about 60 counting everone in the wedding party. I was unsure how many ppl to plan for when it comes to the food. I some ppl say to call the ones that rsvp to find out but my FMIL has asked us not to because she thinks its rude. So now i dont know how many ppl to plan on.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm sorry but that is standard....you have to call to know how many people are coming. I have not known really one person who didnt have to call a few stragglers. If your MIL thinks it's rude ask her how in the world you're going to have final numbers for a caterer. Do you really want to waste that much food and money if the number you guessed was too high! Tell her to get over herself and make those calls! I'm sorry but I think your MIL is not really thinking straight. Heck, I had to call and people didnt think I was rude. I guess it's all in how you ask!! If you call and say "where the hell is your RSVP" then yah, people will think you're rude but if you call and speak to them politely..no problem. In my opinion, those people have already done something rude to you by not sending their rsvp back to you, you have every right to find out weather or not they are coming! Good luck!! :)

[bnd94]

Oh I would hate to have to call 120 people!!:bbeek: I don't know what I would do. Are there any people that you are pretty sure won't come? Maybe you could eliminate them and call the others.

I think it is more rude that the people didn't send back the RSVPs than if you were to call them. JMHO.:)

[MOB Karen]

I agree, that is extremely rude not to send back RSVP's. But Amber says she's not calling any of the people who didn't return their RSVP's to us. She is assuming they are not coming and we're going with the number that has been returned. :)

[LaceyinPgh]

Sorry but your mil doesn't get to make the decision unless she is willing to pay for 120 meals that may or may not get used. Call them and get it over with. I had to call something like 60+ people. It sucked really bad and took up an entire afternoon. I hated it. But, I needed a head count.

[LaceyinPgh]

I forgot to add, a lot of people you will have to leave voice mails for. In that case make sure you give them a definate cut off date to get back with you. Something like. "Hi Bob and Sue. I noticed that I didn't get your RSVP back to us for the wedding. I really hope that you can make it. If you are planning on being there I have to know no later than noon on the 10th. Thanks so much. I'll talk to you later...."

That way if they don't call back you can 100% assume that they aren't coming.

[Kacie_bride]

I agree with everyone else. You defiantely are going to have to get on the phone and call some people. It is more rude of them to not send back the rsvps than it is for you to call them.

[blueeyedbride]

On my RSVP's we asked them to mark yes and how many or No can't attend....

[ladymelissa]

It is definitely not rude to call. It is rude that they didn't send them back. I called most of the ppl who didn't send them back. It's better than paying for 100 ppl who aren't planning on coming.

[kwilson]

I'm getting married this SATURDAY! I can't believe the people who don't send their RSVP's back! I mean they had a stamp on them all they had to do was walk out and put it into their mailbox! We invited right at 300 people. We have got 215 responses back. What we are doing is giving our reception site a count of 225 people. When the food runs out, it runs out...they should have replied!

[mariaandmanish]

As horrible as it is, you're definitely going to have to call some of them. If there is anyone who you're sure won't be coming, don't call them, but anyone you think might, you're going to have to call.

My wedding is in 2 weeks, and out of the 220 people invited, we didn't get responses from about 100, and believe me I was really annoyed. Especially when we just called people, and about 30 of those people said they were coming. It is incredibly rude, but a part of a wedding, I think.

As it is, I still have some people that we called who are still not sure! And it's only 2 weeks! I think I'm just going to have to tell the reception hall to have an extra table standing by just in case.

Good luck!

[LaceyinPgh]

As horrible as it is, you're definitely going to have to call some of them. If there is anyone who you're sure won't be coming, don't call them, but anyone you think might, you're going to have to call.

My wedding is in 2 weeks, and out of the 220 people invited, we didn't get responses from about 100, and believe me I was really annoyed. Especially when we just called people, and about 30 of those people said they were coming. It is incredibly rude, but a part of a wedding, I think.

As it is, I still have some people that we called who are still not sure! And it's only 2 weeks! I think I'm just going to have to tell the reception hall to have an extra table standing by just in case.

Good luck!

I had several people who didn't RSVP back that explained to me that they were coming. They told me how excited they were for it. They even told me what entree they wanted. Then, they didn't show up that night. I don't know if they were just wussies who didn't know how to say no to me when I actually called or not. But those 6 people cost me over $600 in food, alcohol, cake, parking, ect. that went to waste. I was livid!

[mariaandmanish]

That's horrible, Lacey. I hope then, that they at least sent gifts. Not that it's about the gift at all, but for them to say that they were coming and then not to show, is incredibly rude!

[LaceyinPgh]

That's horrible, Lacey. I hope then, that they at least sent gifts. Not that it's about the gift at all, but for them to say that they were coming and then not to show, is incredibly rude!
No gifts, no calls to say "sorry", nothing. I was half tempted to write up itemized bills and send out the them. Maybe seeing how expensive something really is might make them rethink their rudeness in the future. We invited some of the rudest most self centered people in the world to our wedding. Half of the guests that were invited, we won't even speak to now.

[MOB Karen]

I had several people who didn't RSVP back that explained to me that they were coming. They told me how excited they were for it. They even told me what entree they wanted. Then, they didn't show up that night. I don't know if they were just wussies who didn't know how to say no to me when I actually called or not. But those 6 people cost me over $600 in food, alcohol, cake, parking, ect. that went to waste. I was livid!

Our time limit for returned RSVP's is over. Amber says that she is not calling a single person that didn't RSVP. What they did to Lacey is probably what they would do to us too. Since we didn't get a single "No" response, we are going to assume that all the "Don't Know's" are our "No's." They just didn't want to mark the Decline box and send back the RSVP. I think they assume we will figure it out that they aren't coming because they didn't send back the RSVP.

Amber's cousin asked if her children could come (2-year old & a 1-year old), and Amber told her that the only children that will be there are the FG, RB, and Usher (the Usher is Jason's 10-year old son). She was not happy and she didn't send her RSVP back. C'est la vie!

[LaceyinPgh]

Amber's cousin asked if her children could come (2-year old & a 1-year old), and Amber told her that the only children that will be there are the FG, RB, and Usher (the Usher is Jason's 10-year old son). She was not happy and she didn't send her RSVP back. C'est la vie!

Yes, one half of my entire family threw a temper tantrum because my cousin wasn't allowed to bring her two young children. Oh, well they missed a hell of a party and saved me thousands of dollars, so whatever.

The only reason that I called people (my mil called the couple of people on her list that didn't respond) was that I know my mother's family. They will all ignore me, throw their fit, say they aren't coming, ect. then show up and expect a free gourmet meal. Of course if that meal wasn't there, then I would be the horrible person who invited her grandmother to the wedding then purposefully didn't feed her. I know how they work, I have had the displeasure of seeing it for 27 years. But, after not a single one of them returned my call and didn't show up to the biggest day of my life, they made themselves dead to Sean and I. Now I have 3 cousins in that group who will be graduating high school this coming school year. I am curious to see how many party invites we get. My family seems to think that Sean and I are made of money. We only get invited down to gift giving occasions. Yet not one of the lot of them has ever been inside my house even with countless invitations to do so.

Sorry to hijack. But good for Amber for sticking to her guns. I don't regret saying no one bit. (I do regret being genetically linked to a bunch of red neck, hillbilly, selfish, mean spirited, jealous, a$$holes. Sadly,I have looked into it and there isn't a **** thing I can do about it.)

[darkangel090260]

just have a guest list and someone at the door if they dont RSVP there name is not on the guest list they dont get let in .. Simple as that

[auchlisa]

I have decided to let my mother call her side if she would like because alot of them did not rsvp and she says dont count on that because they will be there and my FMIL says dont call so I told her i wont but those who didnt rsvp there wont be enough food for unless she wants to pay for it and im gonna call a few of my friends that im guess im supposed to assume they will be there. Thank you everyone for your advise you guys have been so helfull everytime i need it.

[bridalbonnie]

For our wedding, we fit the average of what they say will NOT come, which I believe is still 20%. In addition, Not everyone returned their RSVP's. I had to call about 35 couples. That's obnoxious, but it had to be done. You may have to call some of them to get the exact number if they don't reply in time.

[auchlisa]

ye ait looks like it. I will just split them up and let mom help and if FMIL doesnt think its right thenher side just wont get called and will have to do.

[WhiskeyGirl]

No gifts, no calls to say "sorry", nothing. I was half tempted to write up itemized bills and send out the them. Maybe seeing how expensive something really is might make them rethink their rudeness in the future. We invited some of the rudest most self centered people in the world to our wedding. Half of the guests that were invited, we won't even speak to now.\

I thought about doing that with my two cousins who are now $450,000 richer thanks to my moronic grandmother. They put me out about $300 give or take because the three of them didn't show up. People suck! Especially family!! :(

[asm198]

Ugh. I completely forgot about people not sending their RSVPs in time. Just one more thing I'll have to put on my to-do list when the time comes; calling people to see if they're coming!

Oh, and I've been one of those jerks that said I was coming and didn't show. I felt awful about it and the bride hasn't spoken to me since, but I had an excuse. I was doing laundry the night before the wedding, tripped over a dog, and tumbled down the basement stairs. The only way I had to contact the bride was to email her and she never responded back to me. It's been over a year and I still feel bad about it.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ugh. I completely forgot about people not sending their RSVPs in time. Just one more thing I'll have to put on my to-do list when the time comes; calling people to see if they're coming!

Oh, and I've been one of those jerks that said I was coming and didn't show. I felt awful about it and the bride hasn't spoken to me since, but I had an excuse. I was doing laundry the night before the wedding, tripped over a dog, and tumbled down the basement stairs. The only way I had to contact the bride was to email her and she never responded back to me. It's been over a year and I still feel bad about it.

I would email her again. Maybe she has cooled down some and lost that bride mentality some and she maybe might be a little more understanding and forgiving. It's worth a shot....maybe she's waiting for you to make the first move!! :)

[asm198]

Not likely, I'm afraid. After the appology email, I sent her an email on her birthday and called her on New Years and never got a response to either one. I think it's a lost cause.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Not likely, I'm afraid. After the appology email, I sent her an email on her birthday and called her on New Years and never got a response to either one. I think it's a lost cause.

Yes I guess it would be a lost cause then wouldn't it. Oh well, her loss on you being her friend, right!! :D

[SerendipityCrafts]

Our cut off time has come and gone and there are still many people (family included!) who did not respond. Our RSVP's included our email addresses, our telephone number and the RSVP that that they could mail if they wanted to. What happened to common courtesy?!

Could they possibly think that because we are having a small wedding that we are NOT trying to figure out how much food to buy, how many favours to prepare or how much booze to get? Argh!