Thank you ettiquette?

[BlondeBride]

I have a question. Our wedding is in April. We've already started receiving wedding gifts that were shipped to us directly from where we registered. My question is what is proper ettiquette on thank yous? Can we wait until after our wedding and do all thank yous together or should we do them as soon as we get the gifts?

[WebLady]

You can go ahead and send out TY's, but it is fine to wait too. I think the common time frame to get them all out is by 3 months after the wedding; some say you have up to a year after.

[The Proper Wedding]

I'm not sure what the "proper etiquette" is, but I would send them as they come. That way the gift givers know you've received them! But that's just me. :)

[WBandMe]

I think officially you get until one year after the wedding to get all of your thank yous out, although that sounds terrible to me personally! When we got gifts before the wedding we sent cards immediately. I figure, if they don't mind sending us a gift before the wedding has happened, then there is nothing wrong with me sending the thank you beforehand either. If they were attending we'd write something like, "We're looking forward to having you there to celebrate our marriage with us!" and if they weren't attending, we'd thank them for the gift and say we're sorry you won't be able to attend, but we appreciate your thoughtfulness and for helping celebrate our marriage.

[BlondeBride]

Thanks for the input ladies. Do you send separate thank yous for the shower and the wedding? Or can I combine them? I guess the reason why I'm iffy on this is because we ordered our thank yous to match our wedding invitations and they are monogramed. So they have our married initials on them. I thought this might be odd to send? I'm losing too much sleep over a small detail. haha! :bbconfused:

[WebLady]

I might send TYs for shower gifts soon after the shower, then wedding gifts soon after the wedding. Any early ones you get you could call and say that you got it and little thanks for now then send a formal TY later with the rest.

[sandy03]

I sent separate thank you notes for each gift received. Then again, I had very few people who gave a shower gift AND a wedding gift. Personally, I think you should send thank you notes as soon as possible after receiving the gift. That way you let the sender know you got the gift, and it's one less you have to do later!

Technically I don't think you're supposed to use your married monogram until after the wedding, although I doubt anyone would really notice or care. It's really a personal choice. If you don't want to use it before (I didn't) you can get a really good deal on some nice ones from Hobby Lobby!

[gwenshack]

I always send TYs out right away, and did so for the wedding as well. It's so much easier to write 1 card and get it out then it is to have to write out a stack of 50+. I also think this allows each TY to be more personal, since you're only really thinking about that 1 at the time. ;) But that's totally just me - I have heard that up to a year after is acceptable.

[mj512]

I would either go ahead and send a TY or do a quick call so that they know you got it. I know I would worry if the couple got it or not if I was the one who sent it and didn't hear anything back about it.

[Invitations4LessJoyce]

Technically I don't think you're supposed to use your married monogram until after the wedding...

I have to agree with this. Although you might not notice or care, there may be a recipient of your note out there that would notice and think it inappropriate.
Casual, non-personalized thank you notes would work just fine for shower gifts or you could pick out a note with your pre-marriage monogram if you prefer something more unique.

[BlondeBride]

Thanks for all the input girls! I'm normally very good about sending TY's right away, just was unsure of this. I like the "phone" thank you's to let them know we got it. Then I can send our formal TY after the wedding. For the shower I'll get different cute ones and send them right away! :yesnod:

[2dBride]

The rule I heard before the wedding was to get notes out for prewedding gifts within 2 weeks after you receive the gift, and for gifts that came at or after the wedding within one month after you return from your honeymoon. NotFroofy and I got the last of ours out exactly one month after the wedding.

[savepaws]

I sent thank yous when we received the gifts. I used different thank you cards since I didn't want to send the monogrammed ones until we were married. I think I used the thank you cards that I sent for shower gifts. We only had a few come real early. If they came within 1-2 weeks of the wedding, I held off on the thank yous until after the wedding since I had a lot going on at that point in time!

[doby48]

And regarding the comment on up to a year... I personally think that is WAY too long. We recently received a thank you from someone almost a year to the day of their wedding. We had a laugh about it and were wondering if they forgot and remembered as their first anniversary neared.

I would say to wait till after the wedding to send out any thank yous but it doesnt hurt to additionally call and let them know that you received the gift and are grateful like someone else said.

[2dBride]

From Miss Manners (http://books.google.com/books?id=Ju1XvqoMookC&pg=PA647&lpg=PA647&dq=wedding+thank+you+note+one+year+%22miss+manners %22&source=bl&ots=5GBcFEG5EP&sig=zW1QWASBitxU_ZTFSIQMoGpn68I&hl=en&ei=_QdiS_z3L4TV8Abu3eylAg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBMQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=wedding%20thank%20you%20note%20one%20year%20%22m iss%20manners%22&f=false):It is a popular Young Brides' Tale (as opposed to Old Wives' Tale) that one can take up to a year writing thank-you letters for wedding presents. This is not true and never has been. Thank you notes are due right after presents have been received. Ten minutes would be a good time, but the maximum, barring severe illness, divorce, or absence from the planet, is two weeks.

[WebLady]

Yeah I don't even remember where I heard the year thing; I have more commonly heard the no later than 3 months ... really more like 3 weeks IMPO.

[gwenshack]

Yeah I don't even remember where I heard the year thing; I have more commonly heard the no later than 3 months ... really more like 3 weeks IMPO.

I totally agree. I've heard the year thing, but I think that's craziness. I mean, if that's the etiquette, cool, but DH and I went to a wedding in October and I still haven't received a thank you note for the gifts and I was just thinking the other day how rude that was.

[doby48]

I totally agree. I've heard the year thing, but I think that's craziness. I mean, if that's the etiquette, cool, but DH and I went to a wedding in October and I still haven't received a thank you note for the gifts and I was just thinking the other day how rude that was.

Dont worry about it, you might get the thank you on their 1 year anniversary like we did :p

[The Proper Wedding]

I've definitely heard the one year thing as well. But I always make sure I'm thanking people immediately for whatever it is anyways. Always "thanks for dinner" when we leave someone's house. Or "thanks for having us over". So I wouldn't look at wedding gifts any differently. Honestly I think we'll get ours done within a week of our wedding even. But then again, we aren't planning on taking off to a honeymoon right away either. We'll just be spending the wedding night and the next night in a hotel about 45 miles away from home. Then it's back to our regular lives :)