I feel defeated

[FutureMrs.Lestician87]

So there's still A LOT of drama and what have you going on in my life.I thought things were going to get better because my dad and I were trying to patch things up a bit. Now though,everything seems to be spiraling out of control and I'm not sure where to land. Anyway,it all started pretty much when FH's greedy greedy "mother" told us our electric bill for this month is $467.02.Usually our bill is between $160.00-$180.00 which we have no problem with.Now,how does an electric bill go from being $160.00-$180.00 to almost five hundred dollars????? Unless someone isn't paying the OUR bill with OUR money and is instead using it for her own personal uses.She has told us that we need to pay our own bill in the past and I have no problem doing that but I can't access the account online unless she gives me the **** password which she won't do.Everytime I ask,she makes up some sort of **** excuse.She and her husband even went as far to say that I had to pay the bill on THEIR computer because of the cookies or something like that.Which I think is complete **** because I've paid the same bill on a bunch of different computers and there was never anything wrong with it. So they're DEFINITELY hiding something if you ask me. Plus, FH and I find out that his parents keep telling everyone lies about us.Such as,his dad said that I never let Dave out of the house because I'm don't like being in the house by myself which isn't true.He never wants to go over to his parents because of his jerk of a brother.

Another one that we heard was that his parents are convinced that FH closed his bank account out because I wanted his money which also isn't true.FH needs money.Why would I want to take it from him?? I'm not like that. Yet just because he was with someone like that in the past,his stupid parents are convinced that I'm like that.Which I'm not.

Yet another incident recently with his parents that we've had to deal with is the fact that there was something wrong with THEIR septic tank and they asked FH if they could have $300 to get it fixed...yet they know that we barely have nothing to our names right now. So then FH's dad started screaming at him here at work when he,FH,my dad,and myself were having a little meeting about things.He said that if he didn't pay,then FH and I should just get the f*** out. What parent would do that to their own child????

So,FH called up his grandparents the other night and told them the situation.So,they said that we always have a home there I guess but at the same time,I don't want to intrude on them and I'd be farther away from the people I care about.My grandmother would be upset but she just wants to see me happy and whatnot.I'm pretty sure my mom would flip as would my dad.My friends would understand because I've already spoken to them.So tonight,FH's grandparents are going to call and we're going to talk about it.My big problem right now is that neither FH or myself drive.It's not that we don't want to because we do.My problem is lack of financial funds to even think about buying a car.FH drives around where we live now and he's fine.His problem is taking the permit test since he has ADHD,he has problems focusing.

I really want to be with FH as much as people may not like the possible decision I may be making. I am 22yrs old though and I have to be a big girl sooner or later.That definitely wouldn't happen if I would move back to allentown.My parents say things won't be like they were before but my dad has lied to me SO many times,how can I believe him?

So,please send good thoughts my way,they'd be very greatly appreciated :crossfingers::yesnod:

[WebLady]

I am sorry ... I don't know what to say, but I wish you all the best :flower: :hug:

[FutureMrs.Lestician87]

Thank you,I appreciate that :):hug:

[CaseyK37]

Sending good thoughts your way! So do you guys currently live with FHs mom and dad?

[BlondeBride]

It is very challenging when people you care about are not honest with you or try to control you. Just keep your chin up and it sounds like he is the one so do what you need to do to follow your heart! Sending happy thoughts your way! :hearts:

[FutureMrs.Lestician87]

Sending good thoughts your way! So do you guys currently live with FHs mom and dad?

No we don't live with his parents...thank god. We live next door to them which is why it was so easy for them to ship THEIR daughter over to the house we live in.

[CaseyK37]

No we don't live with his parents...thank god. We live next door to them which is why it was so easy for them to ship THEIR daughter over to the house we live in.

Ugh! That would be hard. Is there any way you can get the energy bill in your name. I don't know how it work there but here you can access your bill through the phone to see when bills were made and how much is owed now.

[FutureMrs.Lestician87]

It is very challenging when people you care about are not honest with you or try to control you. Just keep your chin up and it sounds like he is the one so do what you need to do to follow your heart! Sending happy thoughts your way! :hearts:

Thanks for the advice :hug: :) .I know he is the one who I want to be with and I will always be. I think that's what I'm going to do this time and follow my heart. I've always tried to go the rational/logic way and this time I believe that I need to follow my heart this time.I know that it's definitely going to be anything but easy but I'm 22yrs old and I need to start being a big girl and making decisions for myself and FH.The way I see it is that he is my home now.He is where my heart is. :hearts:

[gwenshack]

I am sorry ... I don't know what to say, but I wish you all the best :flower: :hug:

That goes double for me. :hug:

[jennybaby]

Thanks for the advice :hug: :) .I know he is the one who I want to be with and I will always be. I think that's what I'm going to do this time and follow my heart. I've always tried to go the rational/logic way and this time I believe that I need to follow my heart this time.I know that it's definitely going to be anything but easy but I'm 22yrs old and I need to start being a big girl and making decisions for myself and FH.The way I see it is that he is my home now.He is where my heart is. :hearts:

Great way to look at it!

Anyway, I think you just need to step it up and show them that you both can stick up for yourselves, make adult decisions and are ready to move on. Make them respect you and treat you like the adult you are. It's a tough situation because they don't seem to be grasping it, huh?

I wish I had more to say, but I am sending warm wishes your way! We are here to listen to you vent! Good luck.

[dodgercpkl]

*hugs* And lots of prayers heading your way! I agree with a pp that you should see if you can get the bill in your name... at the very least tell FMIL or have FH tell her that you need to see the bill so you can figure out what you need to fix to not have it be that high again. I think I put that diplomatically.... but basically the bill should show you if there are past dues and late fees being applied. Best of luck!! I hope and pray that things get better very fast! :yesnod:

[The Proper Wedding]

I agree, you should definitely try to get it put in your names if at all possible! I'm sorry about all your troubles your having :( I hope things start to get better for you soon!!

[dearmissie]

Wow, I don't even know where to start.. Except with a hug. Good luck!!

[FutureMrs.Lestician87]

Thanks everyone for the warm wishes and support.I really appreciate it :) :metoyou::hug:

Anyway,here's an update.Tuesday night,FH and I were over at his parents house (and we were all getting along) and my mom called.She had asked what I decided to do.Whether I was going to move back to allentown or stay with FH up in East Stroudsburg. I told her that I plan to stay up here with FH and his family.To say that she wasn't happy,would be a HUGE understatement.Immediately,she started going off on me about everything. What am I going to do for work,how am I going to get around,and so on and so forth.At the moment,I only have my permit and not my license.The business that I work for is moving down to allentown where there is more space for FH and others to work.Since I don't have my license,I am not able to drive back and forth from there everyday (nor do I think that I would really want to).So,I told my mom that I plan to get my license next month,FH and his dad fixed up the car that my parents gave to FH and myself,and I've printed out applications from places that are near where we live.Since FH,his family,and myself live in "the boonies" meaning nothing is just "down the street" the nearest store is a nice drive away.As much I didn't really want to work in a grocery store again,it's pretty much my only option right now but the way I see it is,money is money.Luckily,I used to work in a grocery store back in allentown and two of my managers said they would give me good references.Luckily,FH's dad was there to calm my mom down over the phone.

So,yesterday my mom called when I got to work in the morning and apologized for going off on FH and I and I do understand where she's coming from.I am scared but I'm trying to stay positive.I'm not the religious type AT ALL but my cousin sent me this forward this morning about God and I think the one sentence is going to be my mantra from now on.It said, "The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will never protect you" So hopefully things work out for FH and I.

On another note,FH's dad said that he was going to talk to the landlord about lowering the rent from $1200.00 a month down to $600.00-$700.00 a month.If that happened,that would be great.Just another thing that FH and I wouldn't have to stress so much over. :yesnod::crossfingers: