Fight Leads to Abandonment...

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ok, so I just had a fight with my sister in law/matron of honor. She accused me of some really horriable things which aren't true and said that my wedding is "too expensive for her." Well I just got an email from her and she is telling me that none of them are coming to our wedding! What do I do? I've been really stressed enough lately, my fiance goes in for an operation in less then a week, I have been listening to the rest of my family complaining about everything else and then today she sends me an email telling me that I have not given her enough choices...what choices does she need to make? I have given her money to help pay for her dress, I have nixed the thought of buying a designer Flower Girl dress to save her money...All I have asked for is help and all I get is attitude. I now I am stuck with paying for the rest of her dress and filling her spot for Matron Of Honor and since my brother won't be there, I also have to find an MC. I have no flower girl or ring bearer now! I tried to find out what is that she needs choices for and she just sends me an email telling me to forget it and that she doesn't want to be in my wedding. I tried to understand, I tried to work with her, and now I am left high and dry! What the hell am I going to do? I don't want to cancel my wedding, but I don't know what to do! It's always got to be about her, so forget letting someone else have the spotlight for a change. I'm frustrated, I'm hurt and I am so confused! I didn't think I had asked too much! My other two brides maids have been nothing but helpful, she has been nothing but trouble! What am I going to do?

[LaceyinPgh]

It sounds like you SIL is dealing with a little bit of bridal envy. As you know I am dealing with a similiar situation that you kindly commented on. It is really ashame that because of it, your brother and niece have to miss your wedding. I would give it a day or two to let things calm down. Let her get her thoughts and you do the same. Then call and talk to her. If that doesn't work see if your brother can say something to calm her down. I wouldn't let her come back in and refill the post of maid of honor but maybe at least your flowergirl and MC can still be tehre with you. The only thing you can do about her is try to find someone to fill her spot since you already have the dress anyway. If you don't want to do that then just have one of your other bridesmaids fill in as maid of honor. Maybe at least you can work out a deal with the dress shop to see if they can sell the dress for you. Hope that helped 8)

[neeni13]

So sorry things are a mess. If things don't calm down, you do have options. One of the other attendants can be Maid of Honor , you don't have to have a Matron. The person that was to walk down with her can walk alone or double up walking a girl. Flower girls and Ring bearers are extra too. No one will be the wiser unless you tell them.I know you wanted you family involved. But ou will not only be out of money if your issues are not resovled but a family riff if you don't make peace. Your brother is in the middle afterall. My prayers are with you.

[As You Wish]

Weddings have a tendency to bring out the worst in family and friends. If she doesn't calm down, yes it will be a family tragedy, and very sad, but please remember that all you must have is a bride, a groom, an officiate and a witness or two. Don't let her bad attitude ruin your special day.

[dreamer]

I feel for you. I was in a similar situation, but it happened at the very beginning of my wedding plans, without having gotten a dress and so on. I cannot imagine being this late in the planning and having her decide not to be a part of the wedding, not to mention putting your brother, and your flower girl, in the middle and not giving them the opportunity to remaina part of the wedding. I agree with a lot of the people that post, that a wedding can bring about the worst in a family and a lot of it stems, I think, from people not being able to be the center of attention, because the wedding and the bride and groom take the center. What is really upsetting is that you gave her a special spot in the wedding. By asking her to be your MOH, you have showed her how special you feel your relationship with her is, and it sucks that she has shown herself to be unable to be counted on. I would try to talk to her again, but I am not sure that if I were in your shoes that I would ask her againt o remain in the wedding party. Talking to your brother is a good idea I think (as someone else suggested on here). You mentioned your other two bridesmaids have been really supportive. Is there one you feel closer to? If there is I would ask her to step in and explain to the bridesmaids what has happened, so that everyone knows what is going on. If you have someone else you feel close to, I would ask them to be a bridesmaid. I was reading another of your posts (i believe it was you) that you had some difficulties with picking a bridal party, so I urge you to be very careful who you pick ( i almost made a hasty decision in my panic when it happened to me that I would have regretted). Think if there has been someone who has been willing to help who is not yet in the bridal party.
Good luck, and keep us posted on the situation. I would love to know how this all turns out.
dreamer


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[WhiskeyGirl]

I have been very stressed as of late, my fiancee just had an operation so I have been busy taking care of him, so I have nothing to report as of late. She did however email me to tell me that she was feeling overwhelmed and upset about things and said she was sorry that she took it out on me. I have not contacted her since then because I am still trying to figure out what it is that I am going to do...this quite possibly could cause more problems (me waiting to talk with her) but I think if she is any kind of good person she will understand. Plus, my mom had a talk with her and I guess she told my mom that she will call me soon. We will wait and see what happens.

~CanadianBride~