the guest list

[The Proper Wedding]

i was wondering how many people you can assume will decline a wedding invitation. Right now the head count is 423. Our limit at the reception hall is 400. How many people do you think is it safe to assume won't come? Not that many are from out of town, so really most people are ABLE to come. A friend told me to assume half of the guests won't come, but it's hard for me to believe that only 200 out of 400 will come. Any ideas?

[gwenshack]

I think it really depends. But I do think you'll can probably count on it being 400 or less. I can't imagine you wouldn't get at least 23 to decline.

I wouldn't worry about it. :)

[SkippyNXC]

a lot of my vendors said 20% of guests decline, on average

[MrsDM]

We invited about 190 and about 140 showed up. I agree with Gwen in that I'm sure at least 23 people won't be able to come.

[Brian's Bride]

Our decline rate was at least 20%. I wouldn't worry!

[Ninedays9]

Wow, that's a lot of people invited! We pretty much had exactly 20% not show up. There were also some people that replied yes and came... but then their significant other or their kids that were also replied yes for didn't come. So I think you'll be good.

[The Proper Wedding]

thanks for your replies ladies! makes me feel much better about it! if 20% didn't show up i would be very pleased! that would be like 80 something. i would love to cut about 150 people from my list, but we just can't. i just have a really big family and can't pick and choose between who i want there. so they all have to be invited! lol

[nack_josef]

Around 30% of my guest didn't come to attend my marriage , 50% is far too big to assume , it would be foolish to prepare for only 200 guest, you can definitly mark attendence of 300 people.

[FFC]

Around 30% of my guest didn't come to attend my marriage , 50% is far too big to assume , it would be foolish to prepare for only 200 guest, you can definitly mark attendence of 300 people.

Every wedding is different. I know some people who have had ALL of their invitees show up, and some who have had less than half show up. It all depends on the group.

[ChristineLS]

We invited 85 people and I think that about 79 showed up. Only two friends, and four relatives declined. But our wedding was much smaller, and so the people we invited were very close to us.

[The Proper Wedding]

I've recounted went I sent out the save the dates, some people were eliminated. So we are down to 417 (including us). So I think it's pretty safe to assume at least 17 people will decline. So I'm ok with that (though I wish it were a LOT more, but I have no control over this=/)

Anyways, I have another question that's along the same lines. We are making these napkin rings out of chainmail. I wanted one for every seat, even though it's not a sit down dinner. Usually weddings that are buffet style you get your own (plastic) silverware, which there will be extras with the food, but we thought it would be so cute to role up a set for every seat in a napkin with the holders. So how many should I make? I'm a bit worried about this! These take SO long to make. I have my dad, 2 sisters and a family friend who live's at my dad's house all working on cutting the rings for me to "weave" together and turn them into chainmail. It's really hard on your hands, so you can only do so much at a time before you have to quite. I'm worried I'm not going to get them all done. I REALLY don't want to settle AGAIN. There's so many ideas we've had that we wanted for everyone, then we had to cut it down to parents/grandparents table and wedding party table only. I'm sick of that! For the other things, I guess it was ok, but not for this. It's a medieval style wedding, I want at least SOMETHING on each table that gives it just a tiny bit of medieval feel to it. And that's the THING I want. I'm worried I'm going to need to recruit more people to try to help cut the wire, but I have no idea who..

Any ideas on the number?

[f77g4]

Is there any way to send your invites out early to allow for enough time to get a definate count of how many you need since they are time consuming? Or what if you went with 350 and then once all replies were in then make the extra if needed?

Usually when I was counting for stuff for guests I just used the total on our guest list even though I knew not everyone would show up. I just figured I'd sell any leftovers unless it was personalized.

We had around 180 invited and only about 110 there....we had ones that replied yes not come, we had some not reply at all, etc.

[The Proper Wedding]

OK, now I have a different problem with my guest list lol.

The ceremony is only going to be part of my total guest list. Right now my ceremony only list consists of 217 people. Here's the main problem. It's an outside wedding. The parking sucks, so we have to park some of the guests right by the ceremony while other's have to park at the park office and get shuttled into the ceremony. Also, since it's an outside wedding, my stepmom is kinda worried about seating that many people and if it rains, then seating that many people under a canopy.

Right now the ceremony list is limited to wedding party, parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins (and for some of those cousins...their kids as well), and friends. The reception list has all those people, plus some more distant relatives (parents aunts/uncles and parents cousins) and more friends who aren't as close of friends as those on the ceremony list.

My stepmother wanted me to try to cut down the list a little. She told me it was ok to pick and choose the cousins that I wanted to come, since some I'm actually close with and others I haven't actually spoken to in years. So I tried that. I was able to get the list down to 170 something I think...which is barely a dent in the list. I'm thinking why bother doing that?

Really want I want to do is pick and choose between aunts/uncles as well...but apparently I'm not allowed to do that b/c too many feelings would be hurt. So I just pulled more people out of the list, just to see what it would look like. I got rid of all cousins and aunts/uncles. I kept wedding party, parents, grandparents, siblings and friends. I refuse to cut those friends. If I cut them, then what's the point of doing everything that I plan on doing for the ceremony? All the decorating and everything. Seems pointless if my peers can't see it...because they will be the only ones who understand it (medieval theme). By doing this, it cut the list down to 109. That is MUCH better...but here's the problem...

I REALLY didn't want to cut out some of my cousins and a few of my uncles. My cousin Matt is already planning on coming to the wedding. He lives in Nashville, TN and we are in NW Pennsylvania. So it's a bit of a drive for him and his wife, but they're planning on coming. He's more than just my cousin. We grew up together and he was more like my brother. I used to call him "My Matthew" apparently when I was little :) So I don't feel right making him drive all that way just to come to the reception! But I absolutely cannot invite him and not invite his dad, which is one of the uncles that I really want there anyways. I would like both of my mom's brothers to be there..b/c I'm kinda close to them. But I can't invite some and not others. Picking and choosing between the cousins is fine, but I just can't invite that cousin w/o his dad...and inviting my uncle w/o the other uncles/aunts just can't happen. My parents will get offended (well, my mom and stepdad won't, but dad and stepmom will b/c I would opt not to invite any of either of their siblings lol)

So does anyone have any opinions on this? Should I pull anyone from the list? Who should I pull? Or is there any other suggestions for the reasons I want to pull? (seating/rain mostly)

Thanks everyone!

[dearmissie]

Every wedding is different. I know some people who have had ALL of their invitees show up, and some who have had less than half show up. It all depends on the group.

I agree. Just about every single guest of my Mom's 150+ wedding came. And we're making a first draft guest list now and I think it's pretty safe for me to say, all of our guests are coming as well.

[dearmissie]

We invited 85 people and I think that about 79 showed up. Only two friends, and four relatives declined. But our wedding was much smaller, and so the people we invited were very close to us.

Yes, this is exactly how I feel for our wedding as well. It's not too big 100-120 and I'm sure the majority of them will come as well.

[dearmissie]

I've recounted went I sent out the save the dates, some people were eliminated. So we are down to 417 (including us). So I think it's pretty safe to assume at least 17 people will decline. So I'm ok with that (though I wish it were a LOT more, but I have no control over this=/)

Anyways, I have another question that's along the same lines. We are making these napkin rings out of chainmail. I wanted one for every seat, even though it's not a sit down dinner. Usually weddings that are buffet style you get your own (plastic) silverware, which there will be extras with the food, but we thought it would be so cute to role up a set for every seat in a napkin with the holders. So how many should I make? I'm a bit worried about this! These take SO long to make. I have my dad, 2 sisters and a family friend who live's at my dad's house all working on cutting the rings for me to "weave" together and turn them into chainmail. It's really hard on your hands, so you can only do so much at a time before you have to quite. I'm worried I'm not going to get them all done. I REALLY don't want to settle AGAIN. There's so many ideas we've had that we wanted for everyone, then we had to cut it down to parents/grandparents table and wedding party table only. I'm sick of that! For the other things, I guess it was ok, but not for this. It's a medieval style wedding, I want at least SOMETHING on each table that gives it just a tiny bit of medieval feel to it. And that's the THING I want. I'm worried I'm going to need to recruit more people to try to help cut the wire, but I have no idea who..

Any ideas on the number?

A suggestion on some helping hands is maybe Craiglists some help?? Get some high school or college student's help?? And instead of paying by the hour (because they may slack just to make the time go longer) you can pay a flat fee. If you estimate it'll take 8 hours you can say on the ad "For putting together XX amount of napkins together, the pay is $100." Or whatever price you feel is appropriate. Good luck!!