Treasia & Jerry

[hummingbird521]

I am having to restart a new after wedding journal.

So let's see where and how do I begin?

Jerry and I were married on May 21, 2006 at 5:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon in the First Methodist Church in our home town. It was a lovely ceremony and I had stressed needlessly over some of it. :D It was my dream wedding. I had always wanted to have a church wedding where all of my family and friends could attend and take part in our vows and joy with us. So it meant the world to me and Jerry as well. We had a small wedding with about 30 -35 people in attendance. A nice reception with cake, champagne and finger foods. The only dance or music played was our dance song together for our first dance. And it was really our first dance. Jerry is not fond of dancing and only done this for me. It was a short dance due to the fact that I am fond of my feet. Ha!! We did not go on a honeymoon. But plan to take a belated one in October of this year. I guess you could say we had a redneck honeymoon of sorts. We went to Wal-mart after the reception and bought a new vacum cleaner with the money gifts we had received. We also went out to eat chinese food.

Since our wedding we have have continued to grow and love more about one another daily. We have had some ups and downs, but mostly ups. We dated for less than a year and are continually learning more and more about each other as we go. But there is nothing we would change about the other. Jerry has two children and I have two children. One of mine is grown and married with two children of his own. Jerry's two children stay with us most of the time, due to joint custody. Our relationship as a family gets better with each passing day. I am amazed at times that we have all blended so nicely. This is not to say we don't have our moments because we do, but we have agreed to talk about things and keep the lines of communication open at all times. And believe me we do talk about things.

Shortly after getting married I quit my job. As most of you already know from the previous journal I am still looking for another one. I am not a stay at home person. But the commute was costing us more than we thought it would hince the quitting. But I have grown to be more confident that I will find another job equally as nice as the other one. :) Jerry has been working a lot of overtime. This is hard on him and I hope to find a job soon to feel like I am contributing more to the till.

My daughter is starting a new school here and is somewhat nervous about doing so. But is ready for it to start.

Well I dont' really know what else to say right now. I will post daily stuff as it happens.

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday was a nice day. Tiring, but nice. Let's hope today is as well. I spent all afternoon job hunting again. God I wish one would come through soon. I have gone to so many staffing places and taken so many staffing tests I am beginning to feel like I am in school again. But if it works it will be worth it. I do see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow now. I know given time I will find one. Today I go back to two of them. And I have to go and get my named changed on my social security card. I dread this. Social security always has so many people waiting there.

On my way into town yesterday I timed it to where I surprised Jerry for lunch. He had just gotten his break when I pulled up. The look on his face made it worth it. We had a nice (though short) lunch together. He only gets 30 minutes to eat. This heat around here is draining him. He comes home exhausted each night and very seldom eats during the day. He says he just can't bear the thought of food when he is so hot. I hope for him summer is over soon.

We watched "Treasure Hunters" last night on tv. We have all became addicted to this show. And as soon as it is over we all run to the computer to do our own treasure hunt online. I had to do a lot of talking to get Jerry to watch it with me and now he is worse than I am about it.

[Jenn060306]

Hey Treasia.
Hope you have good luck in finding a hob soon. What are you looking for?
That's sweet that you surprised Jerry at work. I don't really have the oppertunity to surprise Mark much. his dinner breaks are all over the place.

Well... i look forward to reading your other posts! Good Luck with the job search!

[hummingbird521]

Hey Treasia.
Hope you have good luck in finding a hob soon. What are you looking for?
That's sweet that you surprised Jerry at work. I don't really have the oppertunity to surprise Mark much. his dinner breaks are all over the place.

Well... i look forward to reading your other posts! Good Luck with the job search!

I had a good day today. I went back to one of the staffing services I have already been to to take her a more updated resume. As to the kind of work I am looking for "clerical". I worked as a legal assistant for the last 3 years before marrying and moving. previous to this i was a licensed respiratory therapist. But i prefer office work to anything else. I like (or should i say love) the 9-5 shift and no weekends. So anyway I stopped by the staffing company and found out she was going to send my resume to a large company in the town I now live in. She said they are very interested in me since I live right here and because she recommended me to them. She is planning on them contacting me tomorrow for an interview. Gosh, i sure hope so. But the funny thing is is that i interviewed for a receptionist position there right after moving and never heard from them again. Kim (staffing person) told me that the boss in that position had up and quit and that no one had been hired for it since no one was there to work under. It would be soooo nice to have a job that is only 3 blocks from the house. This is what i had prior to marrying. I walked out my front door and one block to work. Loved it for the convenience. Was able to jog home for lunch, check mail, throw clothes in to wash and that sort of thing. But I am going to try and not get my hopes up to high. Kim also had a couple others she is sending my resume to and talking to as well. I also went to another staffing agency and picked up the paperwork from them to call about 2 others they have found for me. So I know (if i would just get some patience) that something good will come along.

After doing all of my running, which included finally going by the social security office to get my new name on my card, my daughter and I went out for lunch. Nothing fancy, we both love IHOP. It felt good to have some one on one time with her that didn't involve housework or taking her away from the computer and tv. haha. Her and I had a good afternoon.

Upon returning home I had a call from the daycare my step children were going to during school time. We and my husbands ex take turns paying the cost of this. The daycare told me we owed a few hundred dollars for the day care costs. I asked her to explain this to me since we had been paying our part. And we paid this directly to them. the ex has not made one single payment to them since the children had started going. She told them to call us that she is out of work and we would pay it. WRONG!!!!! She has a husband working just like jerry works too. I asked jerry when he had gotten in from work and relaxed some about it. He said he had not and will not tell his ex that we are paying it. She had told us she had paid it. So now we have to call the daycare and explain to them what has happened. and then jerry is going to have to tell the ex it is not our responsibility to pay her part. :censored: She does this sort of thing all the time. She acts as if sometimes they are still married when it comes to things. But I am learning how to deal with it. I am also learning how to stay one step ahead of her and her thoughts on things. :bblol: It is working so far.

So thus ends another day in our married life.

[hummingbird521]

My morning started off sweet and wonderful today and I just thought I would share it. When I logged onto the computer to check my email I found one from my husband. he had sent me a quick one before heading out to work at 5 am this morning. told me he wasn't saying goodbye this morning he wanted to let me sleep in and that he loved me. Wished me a good day. Wished my daughter good luck on taking her driver's test today as well. Then he got a little romantic and told me how beautiful I am and that he will be thinking of me all day today. He put several roses icons in it.

I just wanted to share what a thoughtful husband I have and how lucky I am for having met him. :hug:

[bnd94]

AH Tresia your husband is such a sweetie!!:wub:

Good luck on the resume being sent to that big company! I hope you hear from them soon.

Good luck to your daughter too!;)

That is terrible the way your husband's ex is acting. I hope you all get it straightened out!

[AngelinLove]

That was sweet of Jerry to leave you that email this morning!!! It is funny how those sort of things can make us so happy, huh?

Good luck with the job hunt, and I am sure that something will turn up soon.

As for your DH's ex....she has a lot of nerve and I am sure that if you and Jerry stick to your guns and don't let her get away with her ****, she will eventually stop!!

[hummingbird521]

The last couple of days have really been no different than the days before. :) I met jerry for lunch yesterday (afterall it was payday). haha. The great news is this: i bought us a new box springs and mattress. God it felt good last night. I finally got the king size pillow top set. That old piece of **** we had was horrible. We have been taking turns sleeping on the couch for a couple weeks. and needless to say neither of us liked it at all. :( It felt good just to share a bed again. and i should say we christened it as well. :bbredface: neither of us got up this morning with our backs aching.

this afternoon we are taking the kids to the movie matinee. we have all wanted to go see "cars" so I am fixing to check out the times. We haven't told the kids yet, we decided to surprise them with it. So we should have a great afternoon. Hopefully the cost won't be to bad what with the price we had to pay for the new bedding set. But well worth it.

[AngelinLove]

I hope you enjoy your day Treasia!!! Have a great time at the movies!!!

[hummingbird521]

today was a very nice day for everyone. We all enjoyed the movie. Since we all like nascar we found it to be really cute. Although in all honesty not quite as cute as the price for five of us. But oh well, we did have a very nice afternoon outing for all of us.

Got home in time to watch the last 45 laps of the busch races. Enjoyed that as well. We all piled up on our new king size bed and watched another movie on tv together. Lazy days around the house for all of us. We did finally venture out again for our late afternoon walk around the neighborhood. the kids rode their bikes and jerry and i liesurely walked along.

I still have not done my sunday school lesson for tomorrow and must get up early now to do so in the morning.

[hummingbird521]

We had a lovely time at church this morning. Came home afterwards and cooked cheeseburgers and tater tots and then watched the nextel races together. It ended rather early for me since my favorite driver had a wreck and did not get to finish the race. which dropped him in points considerably. He had better start showing some improvement before we go in person to the races. :censored: last year when we went he wrecked out early in it, thus ruining most of the rest of it for me. haha.

jerry is outside mowing the yard right now. i am inside enjoying the blissful quiet!!!! we have had the kids here since thursday evening and for the last two days all we have heard is the usual: he hit me, stop (screamed at the top of her lungs), i don't want to eat, you are a titty baby. nerves are stretched kinda tight right now. they are all outside jumping on the trampoline. so i have a few minutes of peace. :D

i am planning on going to my mothers tomorrow and doing my usual monday visiting. i am looking forward to it. just have to figure out a way to tell jerry i want to take the kids back to their mother's before hand. otherwise i won't be going. maybe this is bad, but i look forward to our time to really talk.

i am so glad the weather has cooled down around here. the high has only been about 85 degrees. much cooler than the high 100 degrees for the last week or so. thank god for air conditioners. i hate to much heat. can't breath, hard on my asthma as well. jerry will feel like a cold front had moved in at work. bless his heart it has been miserable where he works. temp. has been up to 112 degrees in that building.

well i need to get some more done while i can.

[hummingbird521]

Well I was unable to go to my mothers yesterday as I had planned. but the reason being is a good one. I had another interview yesterday. It went great too. I was going to interview for the position of HR Assistant and when the interviewer started she decided that I am also qualified for another position as well. So I was interviewed for two different ones. The other is for Executive Administrative Assistant to the President of the company. I was sent by one of the staffing agencies I have been bugging the **** out of. The interview lasted about 45 minutes and I was to call the staffing agency when i returned home and let her know how it went. After returning home I called her. She had to call me back. When she did call me back (finally) she was very excited. She told me the lady who done the interview had immediately called her upon my leaving and said that she loved me and could not find anything not to like. Kim) staffing person told me that she felt confident that i had one of the positions. She said even though they are supposed to make their decision on wednesday that she felt almost positive they would call and let her know today. i told kim that i would love to be able to give my husband some good news for a change and this would make us both very happy. so i am crossing my fingers. trying not to get my hopes up to high but darn it it is hard not too.

jerry took the kids back to their mom's last night. they had started missing her. so we had a quiet time here at home. we watched our favorite show together "treasure hunters". as soon as it was over we both ran to the computer to solve the online challenge for the week. we love doing this. and besides the computer winner gets a chance to be on the show and compete for $1 million. (a girl can dream can't I). :bblol:

i have decided to keep myself busy that i would start stenciling the bathroom with a stencil i found that almost matches our shower curtain. so i am going to start on this project today. i love doing crafts around the house and one of my favorite shows is hgtv. jerry has taken to calling me a dumpster diver. i have found recycleable items and have turned them into objects for the house. i took a headboard i had found and cut it in half and made a cute little bench seat out of it. i seen the idea on one of the shows and have started really trying to do some of the things. the bench i made i think i might turn into a hall tree for our foyer. it should be simple enough to do.

[Valmai]

Job sounds promising dont it? Good luck with my fingers shall remain crossed for yah xxx

[hummingbird521]

I GOT IT!!!!! I GOT IT!!!!!

I got the job. I just found out about 20 minutes ago. The staffing agency called me to tell me it had been offered to me. Of course I accepted it. It is the one I really wanted; Executive Administrative Assistant to the President. I will work through the staffing agency for 3 months and after that if they like me and my work they will offer it to me permantly. Then the salary and benefits will kick in. Excellent salary for this area and wonderful benefits. Something I have not had in a long time. I am so excited. I can't wait to tell Jerry when he comes home tonight. He will be excited as well. I think this weekend we will go out and celebrate. Now I can plan something special for his birthday in August. I have wanted to surprise him with a trip out of town (a sort of getaway weekend) and now I can. Our life will finally improve financially too.

YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cowboysbride]

I GOT IT!!!!! I GOT IT!!!!!


YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH BIG HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO
GOOD GOING GIRL~!

[MOB Karen]

Congratulations, Treasia!!! :D

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm so happy for you Treasia!! Congratulations and you go girl!! :)

[Valmai]

Thats fabulous - well done Treasia!!! xxx (hope you had a good nite celebrating ;) lol)

[hummingbird521]

This is going to be a very short update. Today is my second day at the new job. I have learned a very valuable lesson from it to: NEVER EVER WEAR POINTY TOE HIGH HEEL SHOES. My poor feet are swollen and killing me. For the price I paid for those darn eel skin shoes they should have came with a warning never to wear more than 3 hours tops. :censored: The new job is great (other than my feet) so far. I love it. It feels so good to use my brain again. I have missed working. They did change my hours though to 7 - 4. but this is fine, get home earlier to crawl into bed. :D and I also found out that I might get to meet some country music stars in the future. I work for Baldwin Piano, Inc. (aka Gibson Guitar). The traveling I will be doing is to Nashville at Gibson and various other places. This should be fun. But I must say this I have found out that in the last two weeks alone that I am the third Assistant he has had. :bbeek: So hopefully he and I will get along and I do my job to his liking. They fired the last girl after 2 days for saying "ain't got none". now granted I don't say this, but makes a person wonder how hard he might be to work for. They have stressed professionalism to me non stop. duh!!!! well i gotta get my feet back in the bed.

[Valmai]

Oh ur poor feet!!! Glad it went ok apart from that tho - sounds a real interesting job even if the boss sounds picky lol! xxx

[MOB Karen]

The job sounds great so far, Treasia, good luck with that! I know exactly how you feel about your feet! In my younger days, when I gave a sh*t, I used to wear really cute high heeled shoes to work. By the time I left work, I was in such pain. Women really suffer for beauty, that's one thing men never had to worry about. lol But now I buy shoes for comfort, and I don't give a rat's *** if they are cute or not. I will try to buy cute comfortable shoes, but I will never buy pointy toed stilletos ever again. lol :)

[CindySue]

Congrats on the new job! I also worked with a boss once that had to give grammer lessons to everyone.

[hummingbird521]

Well I survived three days of work at the new job. Thus far it is going very well. They surprised me yesterday and had me a new office chair when I got there. I really, really hope it works out and they decide to keep me.

Not much exciting going on around here today. Doing housework and just hanging out at home. Tomorrow we are going to my mom and dads after church to visit for awhile. I am looking forward to this.

My daughter had a car wash scheduled at the church today and it was cancelled due to the weather. It has rained here for a couple days now. Although we have really needed it. She was also supposed to be going to a swim party the other afternoon and that was cancelled as well. We are really looking forward to school starting. Although buying school supplies for 3 kids is going to wipe out are budget. Not to mention new clothes for the 3 of them. For the life of me I cannot figure out why schools insist on the parents buying things like: paper towels, wet wipes, kleenex, and the essentials like this. When we were kids all we had to buy was pencils and paper. I believe the school should furnish most of those types of items. The elementary lists are very long. And quite honestly I think they get longer each and every year. It's ridiculous to me!!!! I know what it costs us and I do not see how families with more children than us can afford it.

My husband is mopping around the house today missing his kids. They have been at their mother's for the week now. We will get them back on Monday evening. It has been good for them to spend some extra time with their mother. she still has made no effort to pay for the daycare she owes. And has made no mention of paying for any of their school supplies or clothes either. For the life of me I can't figure out some parents.

Well this was a nice little break away from housework and I must get back to it. I sent Jerry to the store to pick up some groceries. One less chore for me today.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Glad to hear the job is going well for you Treasia, I hope it continues that way for you.

And I completely understand where you are coming from on the whole school lists. My parent's could never afford half the garbage that was on mine and in high school when we were instructed to buy a $200 graphing calculator I got sent to school without it!! No wonder I didn't do well in math...but my parents just didn't have the money. I hope it all works out for you.

[hummingbird521]

Three days on the new job now. So far, so good. I really like it a lot and do hope to continue working here. But I know that with the new boss having gone through so many other assistants it makes me a nervous wreck. I just wish my 3 months was up and I knew for sure. But of course this isn't going to happen when it is only my 4th day here. :(

We had a nice weekend at home this past one. Nothing special happened to speak of. We had some unexpected company stop by on Saturday night. They stayed a little while and visited with us. They were drinking when they stopped in and both were a little tipsy. They drink alcohol regularly and neither Jerry nor I do that often anymore. So they didn't stay long. We haven't been invited that many places since we got married by other couples because of this. Everyone's idea of a good time centers around bars and drinking. We would just love to go out and eat, go to the movies or hang out at home and play some cards. Maybe Jerry and I lead boring lives. Or maybe we are just normal and everyone else hasn't grown up yet???

[hummingbird521]

I have a few minutes in which to update my journal. I still like my job very much, but naturally stress about whether I am screwing up or not. I have never done this before. Maybe because this time I really like this one and because previously I have never really cared whether I have kept the others or not.

Last night upon returning from work we took the kids to the city wide "national night out" celebration in town. It is done once a year for the children to get aquainted with the local officers of law and fire departments and such. They also do dna kits and fingerprinting on the kids. Hopefully we will never have to use these. They got to play all kinds of games and ride in a police car. We heard about this for hours. They also cooked hot dogs and hamburgers for the entire town. This is my first time to go since recently moving here and I thought it was a very nice activity for the kids. We all had a good time.

I have been assigned the new task of taking over and organizing the employee picnic in october. God, I haven't done this in years. I know a part of it will be fun, but a huge part of it will be even more stressful on me. This is all happening within my trial period!!!!! I am racking my brain for ideas and locations for this event. Along with all of my other responsibilities now this. :bbcry: I had much rather attend one and enjoy it than be in charge of it and stress so much. But this comes with the job title. oh well................not much i can do and certainly not going to say NO.

Ever since Jerry and I got married I have been having car problems off and on. My drivers window broke and won't stay up, so now it is duck taped up. Looks real cool too. :censored: now to top it off my fan blade broke. I just had a new fan motor put on a little over a year ago. This upsets me greatly. I have to call them and see if it is under warranty or not still yet. We discussed trading it in and possibly buying another one for me. This would be great if I knew I could count on this new job. I guess I am going to ask Jerry if we should hold out for another couple months or so first. Sometimes I wonder if i am cursed with vehicles. Most of the time whatever I have purchased the air quits working. Now the same with this one. :censored:


Well back to work for me now.

[hummingbird521]

Life in the Stepp household is going along on an even keel. Things are going very well for one and all. I was happy to see Friday roll around at work. That is the first full week of work I have put in since the end of June. But let me tell you, it felt great to finally receive a paycheck. I have done the family budge till I am blue in the face from it. :censored: But we will slowly but surely get things caught up and taken care of. If it wasn't for school starting and having to purchase school supplies and new clothes for 3 kids we would be caught up even faster. But such is life..........................

Friday after work I decided to splurge and not cook supper. I stopped by the grocery store deli and picked up chicken for everyone and just said to hell with it. Not working tonight!!!! Yesterday we had a very good day around here. I bought groceries and Jerry got some yard work done. Yesterday evening Jerry decided to finally hook up the extra two computers here at home. With five people in the house we were always waiting in line for the one computer that was hooked up. He started out doing fine with it all and then when it came time to connect the router that's when the freaking fun began. :censored: Nothing seemed to be going right. I am easily frustrated with this sort of thing and it seems to always fall into my lap. So after about two hours of attempting to set up the router for the computers I just yelled "I f**king quit". I don't have patience for this. Jerry on the other hand lets nothing bother him. He only looked at me and shook his head. This further upset me. Sometimes I wish he would just get pissed at sh*t as well. He calmed me down and called the tech. support team with which we have our internet service through. While he had them on the phone our modem decided at this point to practically catch fire. You could smell it burning like an electrical fire going. Well I guess if it was going to happen while on the phone with tech was the best time. :bblol: So they came out to our house within 30 minutes with a new one and connected it for us. The new one (thank god) is also one with a built in router. So all Jerry had to do was hook up the cableing and now we have three computers up and running. But by this time it was 10:30 pm and we were tired and frustrated. so we called it a night.

This morning of course is Sunday and we always go to church. Well about time for us to leave my teenage daughter had a hormonal breakdown!! ;) she has no idea why she started crying and couldn't stop. I have talked with her about it. Everyone went to church except her and I. Today we were supposed to have a dinner in the fellowship hall afterwards with the youth group serving us. She is a member of the youth group. I know she is nervous about school starting since this will be new school for her. She also has a hard time making new friends. She said hardly anyone in her youth group talks to her. She feels left out of things sometimes. I remember teenage years as being very hard and difficult. I wish there was more I could do to help her. We have talked about inviting some of the kids over here and taking them out to the movies or out to eat. Maybe this would be a good idea. Who knows???????????????? I told her to pray and ask God for help.

Good news on the home front. The part that tore up on my car was a little over warranty but they decided to replace it for free since it had been acting up since it was put on a little over a year ago. So this is saving us much needed money. God does answer those prayers. so all in all life is going well here for us. Now if I could just figure out the answers to teenagers problems life would be grand.

[hummingbird521]

Monday is over and Tuesday's big dealer meeting at work here as come to a close. Thank Goodness. I am sitting here wishing the next hour would go by somewhat quickly for me so I can return home. Even though we have been married for a little over two months I still get giddy thinking about Jerry coming in from work at night. No matter how bad my day may have been just the presence of him makes it all better for me. :D This weekend we are going to have one of the first weekends alone since we got married. Just the two of us for two days. This is a dream come true. My daughter is spending the night with a friend and Jerry's two children will be at their mother's house. We are going out to eat and to the movies and then after that :bbredface: :bbredface: . I feel as if we will be on vacation and not going anywhere. We plan on turning off the phones, locking the doors, pulling the blinds and pretending we are the only two people left on earth. Does anyone hear me sighing???????????????????????? Sighhh.

[AngelinLove]

Well Treasia...I hope that you have a great weekend with Jerry!!! I am glad that youa re gonna finaly have a weekend alone!!!

[hummingbird521]

We have been so tired from work lately that we don't seem to act the same around one another. I have tried talking to Jerry and he continues to say he is just tired and drained from all the overtime he is putting in. This is mandatory overtime for him. But I feel that there is more to it than this. He doesn't seem to smile as much as he used too. He doesn't seem as energetic as well. In truth be told he just doesn't appear to be as happy as he was a month ago. He doesn't act excited about our weekend alone that is coming up. He used to come through the door and was all smiles when he got home. Now he looks as if he is just there. I barely receive (the kids as well) a hello or kiss when he does get home. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over or he is honestly just tired. I don't know. I thought for a while the stress of him being the only one working might be the problem, but now that I have found a job and am working it hasn't appeared to have helped any. We don't snuggle as much, in fact last night at bedtime we held hands and fell asleep facing one another. i used to place my head upon his chest and we would talk for awhile first then fall asleep this way. This is really starting to worry me. Maybe I have changed. I know I don't laugh as much myself. But then again we don't seem to have as much to laugh about. i just don't know what to do if anything.

On another note Jerry talked with his ex last night and she wants to take the kids clothes shopping for school and we will contribute to this. We dont' have to purchase all of their clothes. This is a help with our budget. We will purchase all of their school supplies for them.

[hummingbird521]

Well I just surprised my husband at work with lunch. We had what started out as a nice lunchtime together. he only gets 30 minutes for lunch so this part sucks. He brought up the subject of talking to the ex last night and what they talked about. he made mention of the fact that she told him how possessive her new husband is and how he was not that way. He said he agreed with her about it. Then he got this forlorn look on his face. I asked him what he was thinking. This may have been my first mistake. He said "oh to much time to think, thinking of should've, could've and would've stuff". Well this severly hurt my feelings. I almost started crying. They have been divorced for over two years and he still does this sometimes. I told him to leave the past in the past and think of the future. I hate to admit it but sometimes I wonder if part of him still loves her. I know he loves me for he shows it in lots of ways and tells me always. He is always doing little things for me and surprising me with things. But I don't feel like he should be thinking of their past relationship. Am I wrong about this? I question myself about it sometimes. At one point (right after we had begun dating) I asked his ex if she ever thought they might get back together. Her response was NO Way. I told her at this time that if she felt like they might then I would bow out gracefully. But now I am not bowing out. I guess this update is basically a way for me to get my feelings off of my chest with this.

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday was a long day at work for me. The boss is out of town for the remainder of the week and I had nothing really to do here. I mostly played around on the net some. After having lunch with my husband I couldn't seem to get it off my mind. But after getting home last night he apoligized to me for saying what he said at lunch. I didn't have to say anything to him about it. In fact I wasn't going to bring it up at all. I accepted his apoligy and we talked for a little bit about it. All is well now and I don't know why I get this way sometimes. I have never, ever been insecure in my life and don't know why I seem to be now. I must work on this.

The bad news after returning home yesterday. I walked into the house and it was soooo hot. We have central air and it is one of those kind that are programmable for days, degrees and times. I have yet to figure it out. :censored: It showed the temp to be around 80 degrees in the house. It was stiffling hot. I couldn't for the life of me get the stupid thing to kick on and run. When Jerry got home I told him I had probably messed it's little brain up by pushing so many of the darn buttons on it. He tried it himself. No luck. He called the repairman who was on another call already. He said he would try and get by last night or today sometime. Granted we have a window unit in our bedroom (thankfully) and one in one of the upstairs bedrooms. So we slept comfortably. Well after talking to the repairman shortly thereafter it kicked on and started running. Jerry called him back and told him it had come back on and seemed to be fine. Within minutes of hanging up it kicked off and hasn't been on since. Hopefully Jerry can get the repairman out today. We told the kids to possibly stay in one of the bedrooms today and drag out some fans to use. God I hope it doesn't cost us an arm and leg!!!!:bbcry: It seems each time we might have a little money to play with something in our old house breaks down. But I am thankful we have the money to have it repaired. At least if it is something not to terribly expensive. The temperature is expected to continue to be in the high 90's this week as well. And in Arkansas that means the heat index and humidity are unbearable to go along with it.

[cowboysbride]

Hopefully your A/C gets fixed soon, nothing is worse than being hot. As for your husband and the ex conversation put it out of your mind if you can, men don't think the way we do and he probably didn't mean it the way you took it (although I completely understand why you did, I would have too). He loves you and is marrying you sweetheart. Try not to think about it (easier said than done).

[hummingbird521]

Well we lucked out on the repairman. Jerry has a friend who works with him that works on heating and air. So this will save us a little money. He can't however come till later today. But now he says it sounds like the air conditioner won't kick on because it is not getting enough power to it. As I have said before our house is very old and in need of many repairs. All the electrical is on one breaker. So if we use all the things at once the breaker throws off. So we have to turn the window ac's off to use the microwave and so on so forth. So it's possible now that with so many different things having been moved in and hooked up since our marriage that we may have to have the whole house rewired. Just when we think we might have a little money to enjoy somethings with this kind of thing happens. They say the first year is the hardest. I dread coming in from the doctor later on today and finding out what this is going to cost us. I only hope that it is something minor. But Jerry did notice that last night when he turned off the computer and tv that that is when the darn thing kicked on again. :censored:

[MOB Karen]

I would literally die, and so would my animals, if something happened to my AC.:bbredface: It's like an oven in my house when the air isn't on. But I know exactly what you mean about having a few bucks extra one month to have some fun with, and then something breaks down. It happens to me every single time. What a bummer! :bbmad: Good luck, sweetie!!

[hummingbird521]

Well when I got home from my daughter's doctor's appt. Jerry had his friend at the house. The air was on and it felt so good. However he said it was on when they got home. His friend said that the relay switch is going out on it. We will have to replace it this weekend. Hopefully the company will have another one to replace it with. we were told the air conditioner is a dinosaur and quite ancient. :bbcry: So hopefully they will have a relay switch to fit the dinosaur!!!! We manually turned it on last night and let it run all night. It actually reached about 73 degrees by this morning. Not to bad. Thankfully the wiring in the house has nothing to do with it's operation. We do however have to have it rewired soon. Of course we expected this. Sometimes as much as I love this old house I wonder if we would be better off to buy something newer. The house belonged to Jerry's grandmother till her passing at which time he bought it. I do love old houses and always have so fixing it up cosmetically has been fun. But we have so much major work to do. The foundation has fallen over the years. If you drop a marble on the floor it rolls towards the fireplace. Everything ends up in the center of this house. Someday I will try to scan some pics of it for everyone to see.

We had a nice quiet evening at home. Not much excitement for us. We are both really looking forward to our weekend alone. We were invited to go rafting and camping this weekend but still have not made up our mind about going or not. Jerry has to take the fan motor off my car and put a new one on. So this I am sure will take up quite a bit of time. So chances are we won't be going with our friends. But I am sure we will go sometime in the future. Neither of us have gone and done this before.

[hummingbird521]

We have had the most wonderful date weekend we have had in a very long time. we took my daughter to her friends yesterday which was an hour or so drive and picked up the parts for the car and truck we needed. on the way home we stopped by this little junk shop. At least I thought it was a junk store, once inside we discovered it was an antique store. Both of us love antiques so we spent over an hour roaming around in the store. We feel in love with many of the items in there. Decided we would indeed redo our house in the antiques it is meant for. since it is so old and we would love to restore it. After roaming around and dreaming of what we might do we then headed to the local walmart at home. I had bought Jerry a pair of jeans the day before and bought the wrong size so we needed to return them. We shopped for a long time while there. I bought some new shorts before all the summer things were sent back, some new sleepwear and jerry got some new tennis shoes. We also bought some more things for our trip to alabama to the races in october. It dawned on us we needed some more camping supplies before all those things were gone as well. We returned home and relaxed around the house and took naps. By this time we had used up all of our energies. :bbredface: I dyed my hair before we went out to supper. We had already decided to go to the late showing of "talladega nights" and we had a wonderful supper at colten's steak house before hand. Before the movie started we drove around and looked at some used trucks for me. Jerry is sick of working on my car every time we turn around and we only like a couple of payments on it and can trade it in. He hates Fords and wants to buy another chevy. I prefer driving trucks anyway. The movie was hilarious. We laughed till tears rolled down our faces. I would recommend it to others to watch. It was over after 11:30 pm and this was really late for us considering we are usually in bed by 9 pm at night. But after spending the day alone we were full of energy. But decided we had splurged enough and headed home for the night.

We slept in this morning till the darn phone woke us up. We forget to turn them off last night. We have been just laying around doing much of nothing today and doing some housecleaning on the side. Later I have to make that drive to pick up my daughter.

I love our times alone we have and have learned not to take them for granted anymore. This weekend has brought us closer together. We spent time actually talking about adult things and our plans for the future again.

[hummingbird521]

Well my wonderful weekend ended with a large bad bang. After spending all this time with my husband tonight when he came in from working on our car I had to give him the bad news. I found out that I am no longer working. The position that was temp to hire that I havebeen doing for over 2 weeks now had ended. They fired me for no reason and no explanation given. The temp agency that placed me called tonight to give me the news. I am angry and very upset. I posted a thread regarding it and don't want to go into the details now. But suffice it to say that I am going over there tomorrow and demanding an explanation. I am due one.

Now I have to start this whole job looking process over again. I am depressed and saddened over it. It took me almost a month to find this position and I really liked it. Not to mention the pay was great. I had kept it long enough to make a budget and for my husband and I to do some planning on things regarding money and savings. Now nothing!!! I know I can find another one it is just that I don't want and can't afford to take forever. But I guess this is out of my control. Before finding this position I had started to feel like a burden to my husband. I know I am not and he has never made me feel this way but I can't help it. He was so upset tonight when I told him about it that he wanted to go himself and talk to the president whom I worked under. He supports me and knows that I done nothing wrong and went above and beyond the call of duty. Here it is 11:30 pm and I normally go to bed at 9 pm but now I can't sleep. I am keyed up and frustrated. I layed down long enough to get Jerry to go to sleep. He was staying up worrying about me and he has to get up at 4 am each morning. I want to cry and get it out of my system but do not want to worry him any further. When I hurt he hurts.

Well what a horrible ending to the perfect weekend. But at least we had one before I got this news.

[CindySue]

The position that was temp to hire that I havebeen doing for over 2 weeks now had ended. They fired me for no reason and no explanation given. The temp agency that placed me called tonight to give me the news. I am angry and very upset. I posted a thread regarding it and don't want to go into the details now. But suffice it to say that I am going over there tomorrow and demanding an explanation. I am due one.


You are right, you do deserve an expaination. But I doubt you will get one from the company you were working at. Ive work in the office for 2 temp angencies, and this is the main reason that businesses will use them. They can call the agancy at any time and say "I want to cancel this contract" and its done.......no explaination has to be given. When we would get a call terminating a job, we would try to get info from the business, for one so we would know and two, so we would have something to tell the worker when we called to tell them. Unless you screwed up, in which case usually they will tell the agency, it probably wasnt you but them.
Im sorry you have to start job hunting again......Im in the same boat.
Good Luck....

[hummingbird521]

Well I got up this morning and logged on the ole computer and done some more searching for jobs. I checked the local papers online and found 3 in which to mail my resume off on. Now if I am lucky I might hear from one of them. I also called the temp agencies I am going through and they have nothing at this time. So I guess I am done looking for the day.

Nothing much exciting around here at the moment. I have been cleaning house and have more to do but desperatly needed a break. Haha.

Jerry went by the sitter's house yesterday. She is the one that is going to start taking care of the kids after school this year. He picked up the paperwork to fill out. We discussed this again last night. What we discussed is that the new sitter does not need to be used by his ex the way she has used my daughter this summer. She would continually tell us she was bringing the kids by the next morning and then not show up. Not call or anything. In fact we might not see her or the kids again for 3 days. This would mess up things we may have planned. He understands this and agreed that she needs to make her own arrangements with the new sitter. Hopefully this will work out for all involved.

I am stressing over the fact that our vacation - late honeymoon is in early october. If I haven't found a job by then and we haven't caught up on bills we may be unable to go. The tickets are paid for but we still have food, gas and more camping items to purchase. Not to mention souveniers and such. I am going to have to remain confident that something will come along soon.

[hummingbird521]

Last night I got down in the dumps and I guess started feeling sorry for myself. I hate to get this way. I had stayed busy during the day yesterday and then after supper last night just got all humdrum again. I never realized how not working continues to affect me. Maybe it is because up until I moved in here I worked two jobs for three years. So now I just have no idea what to do with myself. Jerry upset me last night without meaning to and maybe I took him the wrong way. He said to me "what exactly have you got to be depressed about? So you aren't working right now, something will come along". I wanted to scream and say to him that I hate not working, I hate feeling as if he carries the load alone, I hate not staying busy, I hate feeling like a burden. I told him I would feel different if I knew I wanted to stay home or if this was a short term thing. We discussed it and it really didn't cheer me up any. He tried and like I told him this is just something I have to work out on my own. He is trying to talk me into going to school. He said since I enjoy this line of work and am good at it that I might need a degree or paperwork to prove I can do it. while a large part of me would love to do this I don't know if financially we could afford it. He said that I put my ex through school twice, it's not something that can't be done again. We managed and you and I can manage it as well. But it is to late for fall classes and I would not be able to start until Jan. 07. I told him I would consider this if I haven't found a job by then. Or at least by the time I would have to do all the paperwork and testing. I was angry at the world last night and said something to him that I know hurt his feelings. I said that I couldn't help but think that maybe I should have waited before moving in and getting married to have looked and found a job first. I watched his face fall and he didn't have to tell me I had hurt him. He told me that he didn't marry me for my job and that he wouldn't change a thing. Now I feel bad about this. I apoligized to him and told him I was just lashing out and shouldn't have taken this out on him. I guess I am the kind of person that judges myself by the work I do. So now I feel like a failure. I wish I could take back what I said, but it is too late.

[Jenn060306]

I'm sorry you are so bummed out about this whole thing. I can totally relate because i've felt much the same way as you do. I went through feeling like i wasn't doing my part to support our family and that i wasn't meeting Mark's expectations. He was worried at first but then seemed to mellow out about it all.
I think going to school would be a great idea! Esp. if you can afford it. Would you be able to get some financial support from the state? In canada you can get a student loan when going to college depending on your family circumstances. Also, when do classes start where you are? Here i have seen people sign up for programs on the first day of classes. As long as there is space.
I know it will work out for you guys! You've just got to trust in your husband and do everything you can to fullfill your needs in providing for your family as well!
Take Care! Good Luck with the job search! I know you will do awsome! You're a very bright and talented lady. :)

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday I was sick and in bed for most of it. Running a temperature and I guess I have caught a cold or something. Generally just felt like ****. I do feel somewhat better today, at least I made myself get out of bed this morning and have taken a shower.

I was so proud of Jerry yesterday. He set some ground rules with his ex regarding the kids and the day care this year. He told his ex he had taken the paperwork back and let her know that he WOULD get back with her regarding a set schedule for who picks up the kids and what days this is done. She had a lot of problems last school year about this. We would tell her the days we knew for sure it was our days to pick them up but the ex didn't. So anyway when Jerry told his ex he said they needed to set up a schedule for her benefit as well as everyone else's. So they decided that we will have the kids on mondays and tuesday nights, she would have them on wed. and thursday nights and then we would alternate the weekends. Jerry also let her know that the weekend she had the kids that it would be her day to pay for the daycare when she picks them up and vice versa. that way everyone would be better able to keep up with it. This way the sitter knows who to ask for payment and such. We ran into problems with this last year. It would be the exes weekend to pay and we would end up doing it and having to wait forever for her to pay us back. Now this will be all taken care of. Jerry also told the ex that when it is her days to pick the kids up that if she can't make it in time then it is HER RESPONSIBILITY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO AND MAKE OTHER ARRANGEMENTS. To not always call us to go and get them. She done this to us numerous times and most of the time it would throw are schedule or plans we had off. Not to mention the times we were not home to do so and the sitter could not contact anyone. I didn't even realize he had talked with the ex about any of this. I was in the bed sick and didn't even know she had came by. Which was great because otherwise she would have blamed his attitude on me. Which I have to admit was mostly my ideas. But the sitter was tired of being taken for granted and tired of never knowing when to call mom and such. Now if Jerry will stick to this I will be even more proud of him. :D He is the only one that can make her take responsibility for their kids. I have learned in the last couple of months that her mother has tried every way possible for this to happen as well. The ex wanted to know why we even needed a sitter if I wasn't working right now and if my daughter has been taking care of them? He told her that my daughter will have many after school activities and that I would possibly be out job hunting or on interviews and that if they didn't hire someone at the beginning of the year that they would be taking a risk of not finding someone later down the line. And that just because his wife is not working right now does not mean that I am the children's sole sitter. If he had not remarried he told her that they would have found someone like they always done in the past. Then he told her that why is his wife any different than her new husband. He said he left her speechless. He was proud of himself as well.

[hummingbird521]

Well I hauled myself out of bed today for job hunting. Gosh I didn't want to today but had to go and do some testing at a personnel office. About midnight last night I got ill again and starting running a high fever. So shortly I am returning back to that new bed. The testing went well and took about 1 hour. From there I went to fill out an application that was in the paper. As I was leaving the place this man came outside and literally chased me and my truck down. He asked me if I could come back inside. I went back in and the lady doing the interviews wanted to schedule me for today. However it wasn't till a couple hours later. So I agreed to this and went and ran some errands. Now for those of you who live out of a big town like myself know that my errands required driving some distance. So I drove the 30 minutes to another town and took care of some business there and returned for the interview. It went well, but the way my luck has ran lately I am NOT going to get my hopes up. She is narrowing it down to three people and then giving the applications and resumes to the company owner who will then call those 3 for additional interviews. So by about mid next week I should know if I am one of the three. I certainly hope so.

Well now it is off to bed again. Quite honestly I am getting sick of this new bed. :bbmad:

[MOB Karen]

Good luck with the new job, Treasia, I hope you get it!!! :)

[Jenn060306]

Try to keep positive in your job search. I know it will be tough. But keep your chin up. People can sence when you don't have confidence in yourself.
I've totally felt like nothing can go right since so much is going wrong. But them running after you to schedule an interview is a really good sign!

I really hope this works out for you!

lol. I thought i would send this message in colour since you always post in colour. It's fun! I should do it more often in my journal!

[hummingbird521]

thanks everybody. I do need a pat on the back once in a while. I am trying to keep positive thoughts. And am doing a lot of praying as well.

[hummingbird521]

I am so scared right now and nervous. My daughter started her first day at her new school this morning. She was trying to keep from crying as she walked out the door. She is excited and scared to death all at the same time. As a mom I just want to go be with her and hold her hand. I can only imagine how hard this is on her. Everyone looking at you, possibly poking fun and all the ridicule a new student gets. We are lucky in the respect that she has made some new friends from church, but most of them are in upper classes. She is starting the 10th grade. Jerry and I both prayed last night that the first day go very well for her. She is so shy and quiet till she gets to know you, and she cowers down and doesn't speak up for herself. she has a hard time making friends because she is so quiet. Her and I had a wonderful weekend together. My sister and I took her shopping for some new clothes this weekend. She got several new things and also about 5 pairs of shoes too. I also took her to get her hair highlighted a much brighter blonde. Had it cut and her eyebrows waxed as well. She felt like a princess and this is how we both wanted it to be. We all three had a wonderful ladies day out.

Yesterday was church and my first potluck there. I was worried that the dish I brought that no one would like it. but it was a huge success. Several ladies wanted the recipe and lots of them came over to me and told me I had passed the cooking test. they now know that I am a good cook and Jerry will not go hungry they said. :D I enjoyed the pot luck very much and besides I didn't have to cook all day yesterday. :bblol:

After church we watched the races like we always do. At some point we all fell asleep on the bed together. There was five of us snuggled up on it. After that we had our walk around the block and came back to let my step son practice hitting a softball. He got very good at it. We were so proud of him for this. That is the first time since my son was little that I have gotten to do this. Samantha is just not into sports. So I enjoyed this family time together.

We attempted getting all of the kids into bed at a decent time last night with no luck. Excitement prevailed on this. I don't think any of them got any sleep last night. After finally getting the munchkins in the bed Jerry and I crawled into bed and watched part of a movie.

all in all we had a nice family weekend.

[hummingbird521]

I was so excited to see my daughter walking up the driveway after school yesterday with a smile on her face. :D I knew everything had gone well. She said she enjoyed it and that she ate lunch with the kids from church. She also met several new kids in her classrooms. Sam said that everyone told her they loved her new purse and her new clothes. She liked all of her teachers but one of them. She said she could tell she would be strict. But I know my daughter and she can handle this. However she can't open her own locker. She can unlock it but cannot pull it open. So she is going to the principals office today to let them know and see if they can fix this. So if this is the only problem she had then I am great with it. She told me that the school lunch was not good and that her youth group counselor from church brought several lunches to the other kids and told her if she wanted she would bring hers as well. So I called her and made arrangments for Sam to get her lunch this way. I had rather pay and know she will eat as to pay and worry about her being hungry all day. Sam was actually looking forward to school today as well.

I received a call about 5 pm last night from the lady at the personnel office. She is sending my resume in to a company close to home that is looking for someone temporarily for about 6 weeks. So I told her Go for it. This will at least give me some income while continuing to look for a permanent position. It will also put me right up to the date that Jerry and I leave for are belated honeymoon. Even though most of it is paid for we are still stressing about the other part we have to pay and if we will be able to go or not. So I continue to hope they call me for an interview and hire me. She said their is a slight chance that they might would hire permanently on it as well. But I am not holding my breath on it.

Jerry came home last night with a horrible headache and was not acting like his usual self. I don't know if it was that he felt bad or what. He was cordial to everyone, but later yelled at the kids and this is not like him at all. He seemed fine this morning when he left though. I think he is stressing more than he will admit about income. so I hope I get good news in the next few days about a job. He left me an email this morning and didn't wake me up. He knew I felt bad, I have had a UTI for a few days now and running a fever with it. It seems like since getting married I stay sick more than healthy. Tired of it being this way, but know there is nothing I or anyone can do about it.

[hummingbird521]

Well ladies I am in good spirits today. :D Hopefully nothing and no one will get me down today. I believe I have a new job that I think I would enjoy. Some of you might find this kinda strange, but Sunday at church we all filled out prayer requests for ourselves. I filled mine out that the members pray for me to find a job so that Jerry does not have to continue the burden of finances by himself. Last night one of the women in my sunday school class called to ask me if I would be interested in being a librarian in our town library. I told her of course I would be interested in it. She said the night before the board members fired the previous one and that most of the board were members of the church. She said they immediately thought of me. While the pay is a lot less than used to and it is only part time, I would not be out any driving expenses. It is located about 2 blocks from my house. The part time hours are 35 weekly. But this is not bad. And I wouldn't have to go in to work till 10 or 11 in the morning. Which as I explained to her would give me ample time to get things done around the house or do business errands. As well as be close to home if needed by the kids. So she told me who to call about it and gave me several names of who to list for references. She also told me that they do have to run it in the paper next week, but that if I do want it that basically I am a shoe in for it. So Jerry and I talked about it last night for awhile. He agreed with me about it. So I called the woman in charge. All of these people have known Jerry since he was born and love him to death. So will do almost anything to make sure he is happy and taken care of. :bblol: While I don't want to get to excited about it I can't help myself. I want to jump for joy about it. But I will hold out till I know for sure.

I got so irritated last night cooking supper. As I have said this house is old and needs lots of work on it. The wiring being the main thing. Our breaker box keeps kicking off if you have more than one appliance on at a time. Do you know how long it takes to cook supper on one burner stove. And cannot use anything else but one item at a time. I cooked breakfast for supper and it took me 4 hours to cook it. :censored: And then when we sat down to eat the kids said "I don't like fried eggs, I don't want anything but bacon". I could have wrung their little necks for this. No more big meals for awhile for anyone around here. One dish ones or root hog or die nights. This will definetly be one of the first things fixed when we get the money.

[MOB Karen]

That's wonderful!!, Treasia!! I'm so happy for you!! That should relieve a little bit of your stress! Sounds like God blessed you on this one! Sorry about the wiring!! That would totally suck!!! :D

[hummingbird521]

Not to much exciting going on in our lives right now. The usual day to day routine around here. Since Jerry starts working this week 12 hours a day, we only hung out around the house being extremely lazy. Watched a lot of tv and of course the nascar races all weekend. Both of us thinking about our upcoming belated honeymoon to the races. Neither of us saying it, but both of us thinking it, that if I don't go to work soon we won't be able to afford to go. :censored:

I found out at church yesterday that they still want me for the library position. But have yet to get me a application for it. They told me that they would get one this week early and bring it by the house. I explained to them that I have an interview today in a neighboring town for a position that pays more, but want the one they have offered two blocks away. By the time I deduct gas prices for the other one I will be as well off staying closer to home working less hours. I wish like heck that they would tell me for sure if I have it or not. I don't feel like going on the interview today, but do not want to take a chance with the library position falling through. I have caught a horrible summer cold. Thanks to school starting and the kids bringing all the germs home. That is the only thing I hate about school starting. I seem to catch everything that comes this way. Needless to say this is why I don't want to go to the interview. I am sneezing, wheezing and blowing my nose constantly. I have also got these huge fever blisters on my upper lip. :bbcry: I look awful!!!! And feel about as bad. Well enough whining for today.

Nothing more has been said between Jerry and I about the babysitting. She didn't call here and dun us for the money. so either the ex paid it or they must have worked something out between themselves. Since Jerry is working overtime this week it falls on me to pick the kids up from daycare and take them to their after school activities. So tonight (feeling like I do) I have to take one to cheerleading practice and another one to the pep rally. We have the kids for two nights and then for the weekend. I wish I felt up to it. Oh well, such is life around here.

Hopefully I will get some good news about a job today. I have also been missing my grandchildren something horrible. Hopefully will get to go and see them soon.

[mariaandmanish]

I hope things went well with your job interview, but more specifically, I am crossing my fingers that you can get the position closer to your home!!

And I'm thrilled for you that the babysitting issues seem to have been resolved for the time being. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that they stay resolved.

[hummingbird521]

I am Alive!!!! I am feeling somewhat better than I have in the last few days. :) Jerry asked me last night if he should just shoot me now and put me out of my misery or did I want to continue to suffer further. :bbeek: I told him to just shoot me and get it over with. Poor man, he came home last night and had supper to cook for five people and had to take his daughter to cheerleading practice as well. All he wanted to do was curl up and take a nap but no way could he. We found out we have peewee football games on tuesday nights and saturday mornings. We also have football games on friday nights for my daughter in band. So we are going to be very busy for the next couple of months. But we love it. I just want to be well by this Friday night so I don't sit in the stands with my head hung down low.

I found out yesterday that the library position is not taking applications. they want me to fax my resume in to the county library and will go from there. They called me to tell me that it is mine if wanted. That they are going to do everything in there power to make sure I get it. The only drawback is that they won't be making a decision until the end of the second week in Sept. I plan on taking it, but really wish they could hire sooner. That will only give us a very few weeks before leaving on our belated honeymoon. We still plan on going even if we don't have any extra money and things will be tight upon coming home. We so need this break with each other. It seems like since we got married I am sick most of the time. I told Jerry last night I was fixing to hang a sign on the door that says "if you are coughing, running a fever or sick for any reason, stay the hell away from here". :censored:

My parents returned from their vacation on Monday night. Mom called me yesterday to touch base and tell me more about it. They took 14 rolls of film and are picking them up today. They have been in wyoming, montana and colorado for two weeks now. They have seen grizzly bears, elk, moose and all sorts of wildlife. I can't wait to see the pics. This has been my dads dream vacation ever since I can remember. Now that he finally retired they got to go. I am so happy for them. Mother didn't think she would enjoy it but she had a wonderful time as well. I hope I feel up to going and visiting them over the weekend and seeing all the pics.

Friday night is our senior high's first football game and my sister is driving over to watch my daughter in band that night. We are all looking forward to it. I miss my sister and I being only 2 doors down from each other. Talking on the phone just isnt' the same as seeing them in person daily. :( I can tell she misses us being that close as well.

Well I must stop for now. My sinus cold or whatever has moved into my chest and I am going to go lay down a bit again. God I am starting to hate daytime TV with a passion.

[hummingbird521]

I have joined the land of the living again. :D While I am joyful poor Jerry has caught my bug. :bbcry: He was miserable last night. He did however go to work today, nothing keeps him down for long. I know he will be just awful tonight. He babied me so turn about is fair play tonight and however many nights he is sick.

It feels wonderful outside today. It has for most of the week, I had just been to sick to enjoy it. The temperature has dropped down into the lower 80s. I know it is because of the hurricane, but God I love it. It feels so much like fall which is my favorite time of year. I only wish it would last a little longer. The air is crisp and makes me actually have some energy.

I haven't heard from any of the interviews I have been on. So I am assuming no luck with those. oh well.................must find something soon. But going to try not to think of it much today.

My sister and my parents is coming over tomorrow night to go to the football game with us. I miss them terribly. I am so looking forward to it. I didn't realize how hard moving away from them would be. It isn't very far, but with gas prices being what they are and me not working I haven't been able to go visit them as much as I would like to. I was used to seeing them at least twice a week. My sister almost daily. I can't wait to see the pics of their vacation too.

I don't have a whole lot planned today. I might possibly bake some cookies. Haven't done that in a long time. My daughter has been begging me too. Right now while on here I decided to listen to some music. So I am listening to Enya. This always relaxes me.

[hummingbird521]

I done a lot of soul seaching last night about myself. I have become a real horses arse since we got married. :irked: I have seen this happening to myself but didn't want to admit it. Now I have and know I must change my evil ways. I realized that while things have not been going my way that it is no one's fault and instead of bitching about it I have to learn to accept it. I never knew what a truly spoiled, controlling person I was. :bbeek: I know some of this stems from the fact that I came out of a very abusive relationship and made a promise to myself that some things I would not put up with anymore. I have now become what I hate most about people. I have refused to be happy if things weren't going as planned (but it always has to be my plans). I have been very rude and downright mean to Jerry at times over his kids. I feel terrible and have realized his kids come first. This is one of the reasons I fell in love with him is because he is a wonderful dad. And instead of being supportive of him in this I have been a ***** about it. I have a lot of making up to do to him. We talked about things last night for a long time. I had a really bad day. I called my son yesterday which put me into a pitty party for myself. I miss my grandchildren something awful and this threw me into a sad depressed mood. I went into my daughters room yesterday to look for something and found some letters she has been saving. For the first time i snooped. I am glad I did. When I read some of them it made me look at myself and things I have done wrong and things I have put her through over the years. Thus continued the downward spiral into more pitty partying. :irked: And instead of me handling this the way I should have, I expected Jerry to cheer me up and figure things out for me. Wrong way to handle it. After he came home from work (and remember he is sick now) he went to bed. This pissed me off. :censored: Then a little later his ex called and she wanted to know if the kids could come over for the night. Her water had gotten shut off and she would not be able to bathe them and such. Of course he said they could. I would have said the same thing. But dumb, stupid me got mad at him over it. I was at the computer and talking on messenger with my sister and she gave me some much needed tough love. She's right!!! So after I got my senses straight I talked to Jerry and cried my eyes out. Not because things weren't going my way, but because I have become one honest to goodness *****. And for the first time in my life I seen myself through someone else's eyes. And realized what I was doing and how I was acting. This is not me!!! why did I let myself become this person? For deep down it is not really me. I refuse to be this way anymore. I smiled more, laughed more and was generally a fun person to be around. I will get it back. I have a lot of wonderful things going on in my life. I married the man of my dreams, I have a wonderful daughter and two wonderful step kids. Just because I can't find a job right now is no reason for me to behave the way I have. I have a lot to be happy about. Sure things are tough at times, but I have a great life. I know I have been taking way to many things for granted. So today is the start of a new beginning. I will learn to roll with the flow of things and take it as it comes.

[hummingbird521]

This has been the best weekend I can remember having in a long time. After coming to terms with me being such a ***** lately I have returned to my previous self. Happy and fun to be around. I guess sometimes I have to take an inner look at myself and stop and appreciate all I have around me. Not to mention what my step son done on friday after school. It really woke me up and made me realize what is most important in life. As he and his sister were walking to the babysitters after school on friday he reached up and smacked a little girl in the head and knew he would be in trouble. So at this point he decided to run away. When he didn't show up at the sitters house and she inquired about him she then went to search for him. We pulled up in the yard to pick the kids up and she was outside screaming my step son's name with this look of horror on her face. Jerry and I jumped out of the truck to discover he was missing. The sitter had been to the school and questioned all of the kids that walk to her house. She found out what he had done and his sister couldn't even say where he went. She wasn't paying attention. My step son will be 7 on this saturday and his older sister is 9. well we went to the school and found out they had no idea where he was. At this point half the neighborhood was out walking and patrolling the area searching for him. Jerry was beside himself with worry. As was I. I kept running it through my head what he wore to school that morning and how his hair was fixed. :bbcry: We drove around and walked around for about 1/2 hour. This might not seem that long but to us it was forever. We only live about 3 blocks from the elementary school and the sitter lives maybe one block. Just as we decided to call the police and report him missing my step son's new step dad pulled into our driveway. He had him in the backseat. Jerry was so angry and scared at this point. :irked: The step father said that his ex wife had called him and said she had picked my step son up at school. He had came over to her and told her son's that we had given him permission to go home with her. she didn't tell him no or that he had to get us to call or anything. she just loaded him up and took off with him. Well needless to say my step son was in some deep **** at this point. He knew not to go with her or anyone for that matter. He just knew he would be introuble for hitting that little girl and was trying to prolong the lecture he would get for it. And he is mesmerized by his two older step brothers. They are little trouble makers and he will do whatever they say. But that is another story. Jerry got him out of the back seat and marched him out back. He explained to him for a long, long time how much trouble he was in. He also cut a switch from a tree to teach him a lesson. he rarely has spanked either of his children, but knew a lecture would not be enough. He told his son that when mommy got off work and came to pick him up that he would be punished by both parents. I will end this here and let's just say i hope he learned his lesson. It was over 2 hours before mommy came in from work.

We went to the football game on Friday night and watched my daughter in the band. it was great. :D Our school won 40 - 0. It feels good to sit on the winning side again. My daughter done very well in band that night. My sister did come for the game and this made it more special for me. We all had a wonderful time.

Yesterday I got a job which starts on monday. This was a great load off of my mind as well as Jerry's. I could tell from the look on his face when i got home yesterday that he was happy about it as well. While I won't be making much money at this point every little bit helps out. Now we know we can go on our belated honeymoon in early October too. We cooked out on the grill yesterday and went for a long walk late yesterday evening. Afterwards we took my daughter to her first slumber party since moving here. We piled onto the bed and watched the arkansas razorbacks play their first football game of the year. Which they lost. :irked: Then we watched the busch races afterwards. I haven't laughed or smiled as much as i done yesterday in a long time. And it felt great. My husband was much happier as well. He was happy to see me smiling for a change.

This morning we overslept and was running way behind. Normally we go to church on sundays. I opted to stay home since i have been sick and today have a headache. Jerry took himself and the kids to church with him. I have two wonderful hours of peace and quiet in which I am in a good mood for a change. Life is good again.

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. I enjoyed it completely. It felt good to be working and contributing to the household income again. And I have to admit it felt good to work out in the public again. I only worked 5 hours, but that was long enough. It has been a long time since I had a job requiring me to stand up for any length of time. :D I go in today from 11 - 4 and that is what i work the remainder of the week. I have Friday and Saturday off. This works well since we have the football game on friday night and races are on on saturday night. I don't know if I work next Sunday or not yet.

we didn't do much after me getting home yesterday evening. Just took it easy around the house. Jerry crawled under the house yesterday and completely unhooked the garbage disposal, ground and all. so for now no more shocking going on. I hope this fixed the problem once and for all.

I have been having a nightmares this entire week. I don't know what is causing them and really wish they would stop. Each and everynight I have had them. Not always the same one, but enough of a closeness to bother me. It seems to always be about our house and it telling me to leave or something horrible happening here. :irked:

Tonight we sign up my step son for boy scouts. He is so excited about it. I am happy for him. i remember when my son was in boy scouts. We are going to be so busy with all the kids activities. But this makes life much more interesting and fun.

[AngelinLove]

Treasia, I just wanted to let you know thatr I always read your journal...I just don't always comment. I am glad that you are feeling better and got a job. I hope that things will continue to get better for you!!!!

[Panthers Bride]

Did you get the job at the library? I'm so happy for you.
Kinda scary about the nightmares. Hope everything continues to look up for you.

[hummingbird521]

They haven't decided on the library position as of yet. They will be making their decision sometime this week or next. For now I work as a cashier in the local grocery.

[hummingbird521]

As the month draws closer to our belated honeymoon we get more and more excited about it. now that we both know for sure we are definetly going we can't stop talking about it with each other. We plan on buying some of the needed items for the trip this weekend. Then we are going to buy a little along from now until the trip so as not to place such a big dent into our weekly budget. We still have to purchase a coffee pot (the old fashioned camping kind), a 5 gallon water container, camera's, coleman lanterns, battery operated fan for the tent and odds and ends like this. Jerry is going to call the friend who ordered our tickets and get them picked up this weekend. We have several friends going on the trip with us, but we would both feel better if the tickets were are in our hands before leaving. We would both hate to drive for over 5 hours and get there and something have happened and not have our tickets. :irked: Friday when we arrive we decided not to go to any races but to do our souvenier shopping and go to the hall of fame. Then relax and watch the others having a good time. Drink, party, eat and sleep. One reason I am looking forward to this trip so much is last year when Jerry took me we traveled after dark (way after dark) and I was not able to see any of the countryside. This time we are leaving early morning and I will be able to see the sights. Only 5 weeks left to go.

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday afternoon was much slower at work than the last two days. But heck it's a job so I won't complain about it. :D After being home for about twenty minutes or so the phone rang. It was the head librarian from the main office calling to ask me for references for the local library position I applied for. I gave these to her and she told me I would be receiving a call to interview for this position. Yippee!!!!!!! However while at work yesterday I got to talking to one of the new girls there and found out she is the librarian they fired a few weeks ago. She told me I would not like the position if offered to me. She did not go into detail about it. I hope she is there today because I would like to ask her a few questions about it.

Last night Jerry took the kids to sign up for Noah's Art at church and took my daughter for her wednesday night youth group there. They all had a nice time and brought me back supper. Little late though with it as I had already cooked chicken and dumplings while they were gone. Just my luck the one night I didn't have to cook and I done so anyway. Oh well I won't cook tonight.

Jerry's ex called here last night before church to discuss whether she had to pick the kids up from daycare or not. Jerry had already picked them up being as it was their night to stay here. I don't know how this woman ever passed the exams for being an RN. It just blows my mind. He also asked her if she had decided about their son's birthday this Saturday. They have had somewhat of a conflict with regards to this. Saturday is his birthday and also when his older sister is supposed to go on a school field trip. The school had told the children last year that those that scored the highest on their benchmark tests would be taken to Magic Springs amusement park. It just happens to be on Saturday as well. Jerry wants his daughter to be able to go and has told his ex numerous times. She (ex) however doesn't want her to go and not be able to attend her brothers B-Day party. Jerry explained to her that they could have his party another day and how this would almost be like punishing their daughter for a job well done. Jerry is worried that since this weekend is their weekend at their moms that she will not take their daughter to school to catch the bus in time for the field trip. so he offered to keep her on friday night and make sure she gets on the bus in time. Ex is thinking about it. I see his point in wanting to make sure she makes her trip. I have voiced my opinion to him on this. I feel as if she should be allowed to go, after all she worked hard for it. And I agree that if not able to because of her brother's party then she would resent her little brother for this. But what gets me is that it is her mother's place to take her to the bus and make sure she gets there. I told Jerry why offer to do something when mom is capable of doing so herself. He said ex has her step children that weekend as well and might oversleep. Ok, so what?? She has a husband to whom those children belong to and between the two of them it should not be a problem to get one child to a bus on time and the other stay home with the other children. I told him mom is never going to grow up and take responsibility for the kids as long as he continues to take it for her. Let her get up early on saturday and make sure she gets there in time. I tried explaining to him that if she does not make it in time then mom will have to explain to her daughter that it is HER FAULT and she will not let it happen again. Why should we change our schedule around to suit the ex wife once more. We had plans for the weekend. I want my step daughter to be able to go and enjoy this experience as much as Jerry does. But feel that while it is the ex's weekend it is HER responsibility to see that she gets it done. Not for us to rearrange ours to suite her. :irked: Jerry irritates the **** out of me about things like this. Now that I have voiced my thoughts on it I guess this is all I can do.

Today is my last day to work this week and I have to admit I am glad about it. After sitting on my butt behind a desk all day standing on my feet for several hours without a break is getting hard on me. I look forward to having the day off tomorrow. We are going to get groceries, eat out at a steak house and then go to the senior high football game. We had plans on buying some things for the trip this weekend but not sure about it now. Oh well...........we will if we can.

[hummingbird521]

I am off work today and for the next two days as well. I did have an interview this morning for a receptionist position about 35 minutes from the house. But after talking with DH about it and discussing all the pros and cons of it I cancelled the interview. The pay wouldn't be that much more than I am making now. He just called and we discussed it briefly and decided unless it was for a certain amount of pay that I would not accept any more interviews. I do however have the interview for the library position. They called me last night about it and we set it up. I do however have a lot of questions to ask in regards to that position. I found out while at work yesterday that people have a tendency to drop their children off there in the summer like it is some sort of daycare and not come to pick them back up for hours. This will not fly with me. My patience is not up to this anymore. and she also told me that she has had her tires slashed from teenagers that have gotten upset with her, and that their was a couple of boys who would go into the bathroom and use it and not in the toilet either and she would have to clean it up. :irked: All of these things would not work with me. She said it was a very stressful job and that the bosses were extrememly hard to get along with. So I am giving this careful consideration right now. The job I have been doing for a week now is not stressful in any way and I don't want the unneeded stress in my life. So we shall just have to see about it at the interview.

when my DH just called he wanted to let me know that he is taking me out to supper before the senior high football game tonight. So we have a night out of sorts. Then tomorrow we are going to go shopping for the month for groceries. WE both hate grocery shopping and just want to get it done and over with. WE will also buy some things for our trip in october as we had planned.

Jerry also made a new rule at our house last night regarding his son. He has set his bedtime now for 8 pm instead of 9 pm. his son is only 7 years old and has been very hard to wake for school in the mornings. I never thought it fair to be honest that he had the same bedtime as his sister who is 9 years old. Plus he needs more sleep at this age. He is worn out after school each day and wants to nap. but if we let him nap he would be up half the night and not want to go back to bed. we are at our wits end with him. he has gotten into trouble everyday at school since it has started. I know his step brothers are part of the problem and we have discussed trying to keep them separated. His step brothers are his mothers step kids. DH has talked to his ex wife about maybe her keeping their kids on the weekends she doesn't have her steps. but she doesn't want to do this cause that would mean she would have kids each and every weekend. But my step son is having problems with authority at school. yesterday he struck out at a teacher and is now not able to have recess for this. I wish my DH would take him to the doctor and see if their is anything that can be done with regards to medication. He has been diagnosed with ADHD. But neither DH or ex wife wants him on any medication. I don't blame them for this but something needs to be done. I just have no idea of what. DH enrolled him in boy scouting yesterday and maybe this will help. he will have more one on one time with his father this way and it will be good for him to have something more to do. If anyone has any advice for this let me know.

I plan on being lazy today and spending most of it in bed. I have been running a low grade fever for about a month now and the doctors can't figure out why. I just feel like :irked: most of the time. run down and without energy and am flushed and skin burning. Tired of this feeling.

[mariaandmanish]

Jerry also made a new rule at our house last night regarding his son. He has set his bedtime now for 8 pm instead of 9 pm. his son is only 7 years old and has been very hard to wake for school in the mornings. I never thought it fair to be honest that he had the same bedtime as his sister who is 9 years old. Plus he needs more sleep at this age. He is worn out after school each day and wants to nap. but if we let him nap he would be up half the night and not want to go back to bed. we are at our wits end with him. he has gotten into trouble everyday at school since it has started. I know his step brothers are part of the problem and we have discussed trying to keep them separated. His step brothers are his mothers step kids. DH has talked to his ex wife about maybe her keeping their kids on the weekends she doesn't have her steps. but she doesn't want to do this cause that would mean she would have kids each and every weekend. But my step son is having problems with authority at school. yesterday he struck out at a teacher and is now not able to have recess for this. I wish my DH would take him to the doctor and see if their is anything that can be done with regards to medication. He has been diagnosed with ADHD. But neither DH or ex wife wants him on any medication. I don't blame them for this but something needs to be done. I just have no idea of what. DH enrolled him in boy scouting yesterday and maybe this will help. he will have more one on one time with his father this way and it will be good for him to have something more to do. If anyone has any advice for this let me know.


Treasia, sounds like you've got a lot on your hands these days! I think Jerry is doing a great job in trying to help his son by setting ground rules that have to be met. The best thing to do with an ADHD child that is not medicated, is to set guidelines and routines that the child gets so used to that it happens naturally... and sticking to those routines as best you can. It sounds like Jerry has a great handle on that, and I can only wish that the ex-wife figures it out soon. The stepsons being a bad influence on him is something that is apparently out of your control, and I'm sorry for that, as is his mother's lack of awareness of which day is hers and which is yours. All of that is hindering his ability to function in a behaved way, both at home and at school. I would suggest talking to his teacher, as well, about routines that she could suggest that might help as well. Maybe, I would suggest even a school therapist to help him out when he's having a really difficult day. JMO, as teacher of 7 to 9 year olds, many whom have had ADHD and who're not on medications. HOpe this helped! I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping Jerry's ex comes around soon and realizes her responsibilities where her son is concerned.

[hummingbird521]

thank you Maria for the advice. I am hoping we will get a handle on it soon.

Last night the senior boys won again. 47 - 0. it still feels good to sit on the winning side for a change. But I have to admit that I am looking forward to them playing someone who will make it a little more challenging though.

Let me tell you what happened last night though. you know we had plans to eat out and then go to the game. planned it all week. at 6 pm the sitter called to tell us that the ex still had not come to pick up the kids. DH called her cell phone to find out why. She had left it with her DH. He said she was still tied up at work in late meetings and could my DH pick them up. We were fixing to leave to go out and eat and then head to the game. but DH had to go and get the kids. We waited on their mom till after 7 pm and she still had not came. No eating out for anyone. Had to go and pick up pizzas and wait on mom. I left at 7:15 to go to the game and DH stayed waiting on mom to show up. He got to the game right before half time. She still hadn't showed up when he got fed up and called her back. she then had her phone and was home. She had been home all this time and not called and told the sitter, not called and made arrangements for anyone to get the kids, not called and told my DH to bring them over. She just assumed we would. :irked: :irked: He took the kids to moms and came to the game. But by this point it was almost half time and we had not had our night as planned. Now I understand this was out of his control but give me a break here, she is one piece of work. She also would not get up this morning and take her daughter to catch the bus for the field trip. My DH had to get up and drive over to get his daughter and drive back to school to make sure she got there. I would like to go over there myself and drag this ***** out of bed and beat the snot out of her for being such a ****** person. One day I will have my turn with telling her what I think about her and her irresponsibility towards her children.

Today we are hanging out and watching football all day long. WE could possibly win the pot of $600 for it. Cross your fingers we do. WE sure could use the money right now.

[Jenn060306]

Wow.... talk about dead beat mom. How terrible is that. Maybe when the sitter calls because she hasn't picked up her children you guys should keep the meter running and charge her the same rate the sitter charges.
How do Jerry's kids feel about all this? Doesn't it bother them that there mother doesn't seem to care enough about them to take care of them and pick them up? I think if my mother did the same thing to me i would be really upset and hurt by her.

Anyways, i think you need to talk to her more about it. If needed maybe there needs to be a third party involved to come up with some sort of settlement for this. It's not fair to you and Jerry to always have to pick up her peieces and have your plans ruined.
Good Luck hun. I really hope the dead beat mom get's her act together and figures it all out.

[mariaandmanish]

I completely agree with Jen, here, and think you might want to speak to a third party about what is going on, because IMO, she is definitely neglecting her children. I don't know how you feel about having them with you permanently, but this situation is really detrimental to the kids, and clearly shows why his son is acting the way that he is. Good luck! I will keep checking back on this situation, and hope that something changes soon... for the kids and your sake!

[hummingbird521]

Good morning everyone. yesterday was a crappy day around here. at least for me it was. Started out wonderful. My DH, daughter and I got up and went to buy groceries. We hate doing this and therefore only do it about once a month. so we had a lot of buying to do. Got that done and over with and returned home. Later my BIL and SIL came over and my DH went with them to his ex's house to pick up some boxes of dishes she was giving them. Their house burned down and few months ago and they just found another place. So they needed some things to start over. Anyway my DH came back home with his son for the weekend and said that when he picked up his daughter from her school outing that night she was staying as well. Not to upset that we had the kids again on our off weekend. But what upset me was the fact that the ex had talked him into changing weekends again because she didn't have the money to pay the sitter this past friday. We have it fixed that whoever picks up the kids on their weekend then it is their turn to pay for the week of babysitting. No big deal except I guess she thinks we are complete idiots. This means that by switching that we end up paying for an extra week and she gets to pay skippy. After finally getting this through my DH's head, I had to actually mark it on the calendar to get him to understand it. He seemed to be more upset with me than he was with her. I told him in a nice way and laughing "she is good, i give her credit for that, she is very good". Later after calming down I told him he cannot continue to go through our marriage trying to make both of us happy. He had to make a decision "who is he married too and who does he want to piss off more, her or I?" Might have been wrong on my part, but I can only put up with so much. He seems to go about each day not wanting to piss her off or hurt her feelings, nor mine either. But he can't make both of us happy. She has a husband for this, he isn't married to her anymore. :bbmad:

Last night after cooking supper and everyone enjoying themselves all afternoon I went into the kitchen to do dishes. Well we do not have the problem fixed with the shocking of the water mixed with metal problem. I touched the handle of the water spigot (whatever it is called) and it knocked me across the kitchen floor. i was screaming and in pain. I went to bed at that point. I had had enough of a bad day to do me in. My eyes were burning horribly and blood red. I couldn't watch the races as we had planned with each other. I ended up sleeping from 7 pm till this morning at 7 am.

I hope this day is better in all aspects.

[hummingbird521]

Our tickets for our nascar race honeymoon weekend arrived today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :jphappy: :jphappy: :ura1: You should have seen the smile on Jerry's face. and I might add mine as well. It is getting closer to being a reality now. 4 more weekends and we are there. We are seriously getting excited about it. Sometimes I think I am more excited at the prospect of the drive alone down there and having each other all to ourselves for four days. I have forgotten what those days are like. :D and would you believe Jerry's friend called yesterday afternoon to ask if he might ride down there with us?? I asked Jerry what his answer was. He told him he would get back with him. I asked him if he was considering it? He said he wanted to check with me first. Please give me a break, he knows what my answer is. Now if we ever had that much time alone I wouldn't care, but we never have alone time. Call me selfish but I said Heck NO. We already have to share each other daily, but I know this comes with the territory and all, but it makes our time together more precious when it does come around. No kids saying "mom, dad, or come look at this". Anyway I am just super excited about it.

[mariaandmanish]

That's great, Treasia!! I'm so glad for you that you have something wonderful to look forward too!! ANd I so know what you're going through with the point that Jerry was almost willing to take his friend in the car with you... my DH would say the same thing, knowing I would say no!!! Have a great time looking forward to your postponed honeymoon!

[hummingbird521]

We went to the peewee football game last night to watch my DH's daughter cheerlead in it for the first time. She done so well. We were both really proud of her and what she has learned in such a very short time. :) The team however lost. But they were adorable as well. They all looked like their helmets weighed more than they did. We had a nice time watching them all. Tonight we have Noah's Art at church. And we also have the gathering there. The adults have supper and bible study while the kids have Art classes. This will be my first one to attend since we have gotten married. I am looking forward to it.

I called on Monday night to try to reschedule my interview for the librarian position and the woman got downright rude with me. I explained to her that when we made it I had forgotten about the football game and that it was the first one and I really wanted to go. She told me in short words "tough shirt". So after discussing it with my DH last night we both agreed that I like where I am at, do not want the undue stress of the job, so decided not to go. Not to mention I found out you have to travel a long distance every few months and are only reimbursed your time at the meeting. Not gas or anything. And you have to travel once a week to a neighboring town to get supplies and such and they do not reimburse you for that or for your time traveling on the job. I refuse to pay to have a job. So when I got home last night I called one of the ladies who has been pulling for me to get the job and explained to her how I felt and how rude she got with me. I told her I didn't need the added pressure of the job and that I was happy where I am. She completely understood. She also asked me not to call and cancel the interview. She said she wanted the other members to know how rude she was to me and that I called her instead. Didn't matter to me one way or another.

I just walked outside and it feels wonderful. I hope fall has finally arrived to stay.

[hummingbird521]

As I sit here and write this I am still somewhat shocked and confused about something my DH asked me last night. As some of you might remember him and his ex wife have been discussing their son's birthday party and what to do. His actual birthday was last weekend and since the older sister went on a school field trip they decided to postpone it till this weekend. Well DH has been after his ex for almost a month now to even let him know if they were having one or not? where? when? who invited? My DH and I have discussed having one for him and inviting all his school friends and friends from church. But my DH said they always had one for the kids that was family and held it at the church outside in the pavillion. This is also what was done for the older daughter a few months ago. And it was family and cousins only that was invited. My family was not invited at all. Which quite honestly was fine by everyone. So last weekend it was decided that they would have one at the church and invite the same people as before. This was fine by me. Well what shocked and upset me is that my DH asked me last night "what do you think about having son's birthday party here this saturday afternoon at our house"? I looked at him with a stunned look on my face and said "no way". He looked at me kinda strange and walked off into the other room. I could tell he was upset about it. Sorry, but why would I want to have the party here? If we had planned it together and were inviting his friends to it then I would have no problem with it whatsoever. But we are talking his ex wife and all of her family and friends. This would place me in the position to do all the work on a last minute party I had no hand in planning. I would have to massively clean house and I have dealt with her before and she does nothing in the way of planning. Not to mention we have a ballgame on friday night and again early saturday morning to attend for the kids. When DH walked back into the room I explained to him my reasoning for this. I told him if we had planned it and we were the only ones throwing it then I would have no problem with it. But since he has been after the ex for a month to let him know what she wanted to do and she has waited once more till the last minute why in the world would I want to be the one to do all the work and it be for her family. My step son doesn't even want it to be a family party, he has asked if it could be his friends and not all adults anyway. I have suggested that next year we plan separate parties for both children and invite their friends only and if mom wants to throw them one for herself then whatever she decides is fine, I could care less. My DH said he saw my reasoning in it but I could tell he was still confused and somewhat upset about it. :irked: I tolerate his ex because I have to and have no other choice. But why does he think I woud agree to this? We are NOT one big happy family here.

Other than the above we had a nice night. We went to church for the gathering and ate supper and had bible study. The kids had Noah's art to attend and my daughter's youth group helped with the projects. Overall we had a nice day.

[Valmai]

It does seem odd dont it - also why would she want to come to her sons party held in ur house anyway?? I dont blame u one bit for saying no - im right with u on that one lol but i agree with u maybe next yr u should hold a party for him with his friends etc at ur house - one which u will organise together and one which u will take the credit for, inviting into ur house only those who u want to be there! xxx

[MOB Karen]

It does seem odd dont it - also why would she want to come to her sons party held in ur house anyway?? I dont blame u one bit for saying no - im right with u on that one lol but i agree with u maybe next yr u should hold a party for him with his friends etc at ur house - one which u will organise together and one which u will take the credit for, inviting into ur house only those who u want to be there! xxx

ITA with Valmai!! This is totally unfair to you, Treasia!!! :snide: You do all the work and get none of the credit for it. I wouldn't want to do it either.

[hummingbird521]

I am totally exhausted today and was so last night. We have had so many ballgames and activities this week that we don't know whether we are coming and going anymore. We have had something everynight and will have the rest of the week as well. We have a ballgame tonight about 30 minutes from the house. Another one here at home tomorrow morning and the b-day party tomorrow afternoon. This evening after work before the game I have an appt. to go and get my hair cut and styled. As much fun as this is I don't know if I can continue at this pace. I will probably start having to back out of some of the games. Not to mention that in another couple weeks we will have soccer starting up as well. :bbeek: There is just not enough hours in the day anymore.

Last night before the game I fixed my step daughter's hair soooo cute for it. She loved it. She is trying to let her bangs grow out and they are at the length that won't go behind her ears but do hang down in her face even if pulled back into a ponytail. So what I done was section off the top of her hair in mini ponytails and then when the entire top of her hair was done I then attached all the mini tails together. I used all yellow and blue rubberbands which are the school colors. When she looked into the mirrow she almost started crying. I thought she was upset about it, but she hugged and kissed me and told me she thought it was the best hairdo. All the little girls cheering last night told her how cute it was and wanted their's fixed this way. So this morning before school she asked me to do this again. Which I done for her. I also offered to fix it again in the morning before her other game starts. I forgot at the time though that she would be at her mom's this weekend. So after offering it and then realizing what I had done I told her that her mother might have a way to fix it that they would both like and if not then she could call me and I would pick her up and fix it again. She said she would probably call me to do it. I hope this doesn't upset the mom, but this was mine and my step daughter's first actual bonding together. And it pleased both of us a lot.

Jerry and I talked about the upcoming b-day party. I told him that if he wanted to have one from us for his son that we could manage to do so somehow and I would love to for his son's sake. It would make him feel even more special to have two parties. But DH opted out since it is such short notice to the parents. I told him next year we could start planning early about it. We also talked about the holidays coming up. Their is nothing in his divorce papers specifying which parent gets the children for each holiday. So I told him that I am going to plan it and hopefully that will be when his kids are here. I am not trying to be spitefull about it. But they way they have done this in the past is both places on christmas eve and both places christmas day. This will not work out I am thinking this year. So we have started trying to figure out what to do about it now. So we will have to wait and see what happens. But I like planning things in advance. Not quite this early but at least a month in advance. His x seems to wait till about one week before hand. This doesn't work out. Oh well when the time comes we will find out. Hopefully DH can work something out so that we are not all apart on the holidays. If that does happen this year I bet by next year it won't.

[hummingbird521]

Well we survived the week of all the ballgames. Got through Friday nights game and we lost it. That was our first one to lose. I have to say we had a chance at winning it and the referee's cost it for us. No I am not a sore loser by any means, but they called poorly on it. I thought some of the parents and even some of the other side were going to get into fights. We left before it was over to avoid anything like that. Saturday mornings game was ok. We got there right before it was to start and then ended up waiting for over an hour for it to start. The opposing team was that late. We left right after 1/2 time since we had to get back so my husband could cook for the birthday party that afternoon. The party was OK i guess. I felt sorry for my step son though. It went as I thought it would. Since they had it a week late and most of the people invited had already brought his gifts to him previously the week before he hardly had anything to open. In fact only him mom, her husband, grandma and his two step brothers were there besides us. We had gotten him and the other kids a pinata to bust open full of candy and this seemed to the highlight of it for them. Next year my DH and I have decided to let each of the kids have their own party and sleepover at our house and let mom do what she wants to do. :D I think the kids deserve to have a great birthday.

Once the ballgames and parties were over we spent a nice relaxing weekend at home. We slept the majority of it away. We were so tired and exhausted we didn't do anything. We watched a lot of football games on TV. My husband only got 3 games right out of 13 this week. So needless to say we didn't win the game pool this week. I chose all of them for next week. Heck we cant' do any worse on it.

[hummingbird521]

Not a lot on the agenda for today or tonight. gotta head out to work in a bit, but only have to work for 4 hours today. :D At least at the job I get paid for anyway. Now home that's a whole other ballgame. :bbcry: I do have some of it over with though. I fixed a meatloaf for supper tonight and will have my daughter to put it in the oven when she gets home from school. so that much will be done.

Nothing exciting happened around here last night. Went to bed early and watched my pittsburg steelers get beaten. :irked: hated that. but we all gotta lose sometimes.

[hummingbird521]

As I said in another thread earlier I met an actress while at work yesterday. This was exciting to have had happen. When I got home I told my daughter and DH. Neither of them could remember her. But DH looked her up on the computer and then he did remember her. We discussed our days and how they went. DH made a phone call and told the babysitter to send the kids down here. It was their night to stay at their moms'. I asked him why the kids were coming here. He said his ex had called and she asked if we could switch nights (again) because she has a bad migraine headache. Now mind you while not upset with the kids this was not right to me. I looked at him and told him that so what if she had a headache, she should learn how to deal with it. She has a husband to help her with the kids and she should not even have asked DH if he would do this. We have never asked her to do it for the few times DH isn't feeling well. I have taken care of them as it is "our" responsibility to do so as a couple. I was bent out of shape simply because this is not something you would do in my opinion. I have had migraines before and yes they hurt like heck, but give me a break here. Deal with it yourself. I told my DH that this is one more way of coming into our night and letting her have say over what happens in our household. It was not an emergency by any means and was something she should deal with herself. I told him after this that things were never going to change and that he would never learn to tell her NO and I was past the point of being sick of it. :irked: Then I simply walked out of the room. he was left speechless. I had said all I was saying on it. I went about my business of cooking supper while he helped the kids with their homework. I didn't speak to him for the first time since I was upset. I knew if i done so I would have ended up getting very angry with him for never telling her NO to anything she asks. Later on about one hour or so I heard him on the phone. he passed the phone to his son and they had called mom. Step son wanted to go to moms and so did the daughter. he made his son talk to mom. Mom ended up coming to pick both of them up later on. As I said I was not upset with the kids in anyway. They cannot help what their mother does. They wanted to stay their for the night as was already arranged and look forward to their time with her. When she came to get them she gave me one heck of a go to heck look. Like it was my fault she had to come and get them. I just stared right back at her. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything unpleasant to the b****. I need to add that several times before she had came my DH came up to me and would give me hugs and tell me how much he loves me and that he was sorry if he once more did not say NO to her. I would return the hugs and say nothing. After she left with the kids and I told them goodbye and they gave me kisses DH and I talked. I got things out in the open about how I feel about what she does and how he handles it with her. I felt better and so did he. We discussed the upcoming weekends. This coming one is our time with the kids. starting tonight for five nights. We both look forward to it. then the following one is her time with them. The reason it was brought up is that the weekend she is to have them they have an away football game on saturday. It is in the town I moved from where my family lives. We have already made plans to go to my parents and have lunch after the game and visit all day. We talked about how if the ex knows this that she will use some excuse for us to have the kids and not take them this weekend. Another words if she knows we are going she will ask DH to take them since it is an hour or so drive. I asked him how he would answer her on it. He told me if she done this he would explain to her that we have had plans for over two weeks and while we would be going to the game to watch his daughter cheer that it is her weekend and she would have to find alternative ways to get her there. :D As I have said before you have to stay one step ahead of her. We ended up having a great night afterwards. he did not get upset with me and finally understood how I feel.

[hummingbird521]

Yippee it's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! DH cancelled the product demonstration last night. They called to once again reschedule and he told them to just forget it. :D So don't have to worry about that one anymore. We also took the kids to sign them up for soccer last night. When we got there the cost had gone up and it was $50.00 for both of them. :bbeek: DH and I were both upset about it and it makes us run very tight this week on money. But DH had already told both of them they could play. When we left the soccer field we ran by his ex's house to pick up some cable for my stepson's playstation. When he got back into the truck he was very quiet and looked kinda upset. I asked what was wrong and he said he had a headache. I didn't say anything else to him about it. Then later on at home when we were discussing how much it had cost us to sign them up the phone rang. He answered it and talked for a few minutes. He hung up and said it was his ex and she had called to apoligize to him. He said that when we had stopped and he told her how much it had cost and asked her if she could pay for one of the kids she had gotten really angry with him about it. Said she told him to "take it out of your honeymoon money cause I cant' afford it" and "obviously if you have the money for a honeymoon you can afford it more than I". I sat there with this look on my face. :irked: How we spend our money is none of her concern. He said she called to apoligize that she was having a bad day. he said she told him that she could not afford it and that if we couldn't then "we" needed to sit the kids down and tell them. Which we are not doing. No way are we taking back this sport for them. DH and I discussed that in the future he should talk to her first before signing them up for anything and not to say anything to the kids about it till talking it over. Give mom the opportunity to decide if she can afford to help first or pay half of it. And if she can't then for them to sit the children down and both parents explain why it is not possible for them to be able to do something. As I had said earlier we signed the daughter up for cheerleading which cost us $25.00 (Mom still hasn't paid her part) and stepson in boy scouts $20.00 (mom still not paid). So it isn't like the kids are not involved in activities. And mom did know about those activities beforehand. Now we had planned to take all the kids to the fair this weekend and will be unable to take the younger ones. We just can't afford it. I will take my daughter and her friend, but only because she has saved her money to be able to go. We decided that we will not tell the younger ones where we are going, only that we are spending some time together and that dad wants to spend time with them alone. But I have to admit that it was kinda nice that my DH is now seeing a whole other side of his ex. He has always said she will help out in anyway with the kids. Not so.

[hummingbird521]

Here it is Sunday and I decided to stay home from church. No particular reason other than I got up and was going to make coffee and realized no one told me we were out so I had to go to the store. Hate waking up and having to go out first thing.

Yesterday I started doing housework pretty early. I got up with my allergies going crazy on me. The house was so dusty that it made me sick. Then I ended up taking enough benadryl to knock myself out. :bbeek: Only had two of them and slept for hours. I hated sleeping my saturday away. Missed a lot of the football games on tv. Before falling asleep I did manage to get two rooms really deep cleaned. I think this house is a dust magnet.

After waking up I went to the store and got some groceries. Came home and cooked burgers and fries. Big hit when the kids are here. I had also stopped by and rented a movie we could all watch together. So we all piled into our bedroom and watched the movie and ate supper together. All of us really enjoyed our time doing so.

It has stormed here almost all weekend. We had record outbreaks of tornadoes on friday night. There were several where my son and grandbabies live. I called numerous times checking on them. Thankfully they are all ok. Since it was storming so much we didn't get to take the kids to the local county fair on saturday. and the ballgame was cancelled yesterday morning as well.

We also heard from my DH's father last night. :irked: He owes us $500 and was calling to tell us he would not be able to pay it back before we leave for our honeymoon. We were somewhat counting on this money as he had promised us we would have it by then. Now we will barely have the money for the trip as planned. This was upsetting news to both of us. We will still go and have fun but not have any souvenier money for the trip. Dh has been thinking of trying to find a part time job and work two of them for awhile. When I found mine and thought it would help us out considerably they cut all his overtime out. So this only put us in the same position we were already in. But glad to have found mine at the time.

Well housework is calling my name.

[hummingbird521]

I am sitting here feeling guilty for being sick and missing work today. I didn't realize I had run out of my blood pressure medicine till this morning. I also am running a fever for some unknown reason. I called the pharmacy to let them know I am coming in to pick up my meds. They told me that I was out of refills. :irked: I didn't realize this at all either. I can't do without this medicine. They told me they could not refill it without a doctor calling it in for me. I havent' went to a doctor since we married and I moved here. I called my doctor from my hometown and am having to wait and see if they will call it in for me. In the mean time my pressure is going up. We really need the money from my day I am missing but I dont' think I can stand for five hours today without a break. so I called in. why is it I feel guilty when I am sick?

I talked to my DH at his break time earlier and told him we might possibly need to come up with a plan B about the kids for the weekend we are taking our trip. Maybe I am borrowing trouble but I have this sneaking suspicion that since his ex knows and it is her weekend to keep them that she will pull the "I am sick" ****. DH says not to worry about it that she won't do this. I hope he is right on this one. I will try not to think about it and dwell on it. I am just scared something will happen to ruin our plans.

This is our town's homecoming week and I found out last night that since my daughter is in band that the parents take turns in the concession stand. while i have no problem with this at all they have scheduled me for the night of the homecoming game. Of all the games this is the one I really wanted to watch. My daughter will be in the big 1/2 time preformance and I really wanted to watch her in it. Maybe I can sneak out during 1/2 time to see it. Course that is when the concession's is busiest. Aint' it my luck!!!!

Saturday my DH, daughter and I are going to my parents for lunch and visiting all afternoon. I really am looking forward to it. My mother called this morning and asked if we had any special requests with regards to what she cooks. I requested her chocolate cake with fudge frosting on it. I have been craving that lately. this is only the second time since we got married that we have gone to their house. Money has just been so tight that we have not made the drive. So we are both actually happy about going. We will get to see their pics from the vacation they got back from a few weeks ago. course they took so many that will take hours. :bbeek:

Well I think I am going to go back to bed for awhile.

[Jenn060306]

What a bummer that you have to work the concession when your daughter is going to be doing her half time show. Maybe you can talk to another parent who's kid isn't in the half time show and switch.
Do you guys have a video camera or know someone you can borrow from? If you can't switch the shift you could have it taped so you can watch it later.
I'm sending good vibes your way for the ex to not krap out on you guys this weekend.

[hummingbird521]

Feeling somewhat better today if I wasn't so irritated right now. What is it with doctors anyway? I ran out of blood pressure medicine yesterday and didn't realize I had no refills left till I went to get it refilled. Luckily the pharmacist gave me a couple till the doctor could call in refills. I called the doctor yesterday and was still waiting to hear from them this morning. I called them and found out that she wanted to see me. I live 1 1/2 hours away now and it is not like I can just run up there. I explained this to the nurse and she said she was sorry but that is the best they can do. Ok, I also dont' have the money to make an appt. and go see one here right now. :irked: The doctor called back about one hour ago to let me know they had faxed the refill in to the pharmacy. I thanked her profusely for doing so. Called the pharmacy and they have not received a fax. Called doctors office back and they told me they would check into it. Waited a while and called pharmacy, still haven't received it yet. I guess all I can do is wait on them and continue calling them. I took the last one this morning. Now my pressure is up from stress of trying to get this done. Arghh.

[hummingbird521]

Not much new to write about just feeling somewhat depressed and guess this is a good way to get it out. I have been in a bluesy kinda mood for awhile. Feeling down in the dumps about life. Maybe I am still adjusting to having moved away from routine to being married and everything changing. I feel most days like an outsider in this town. Everyone knows everyone, but not me. I know no one except for the people we attend church with, everything else is new to me and daughter. Other things are bugging me as well. I don't get to see my family as much anymore (and phone calls are just not the same as seeing them). I miss being able to talk to my sister and goof off everyday. I miss my mother and father being just down the road. I miss that I dont' get to drive up and see my grandbabies at least once a month. It is not that they all live that much further away, it is that since marrying money is so darn tight that I can't afford to. I made a decision last night that from now on I am taking some money out of my paycheck and putting it aside for these things. No matter what the rest of the family might have to do without. Maybe this is part of what is bothering me. My DH has not given up anything for him or his family that they done before. My daughter and I have. We used to be able to go to my parents at least once a week, go to my son's at least once a month and have one day a month for only her and I (an outing). But it seems now that her and I just continue to give up what we used to do all the time. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone or not. Hard to explain I guess. DH has only gained two other people into his life that he loves and not had to do without anything he once did. I am not saying I want him to give up anything, only that I want some things back like before. Don't think I am not happy. It just irritates me when he does things like sign up both children for soccer at the cost of $50 when he knows that that money would have gotten us all on a trip to see my son and grandbabies.

We are both still excited and counting down days till next weekend. We leave for our trip in 7 days. Lately that is the only thing helping me get from day to day.

[hummingbird521]

This day has started out to be a not so good one. While I have this job as a checker in the grocery store and sorta like it the hours and pay are not good enough. I only took it as a means to get by till I could find another one. I was going through a couple of personnel agencies before finding this one. I looked online a while ago to see if one of the agencies had anything that I would be interested in and qualify for. I found several and was getting excited about it. In fact one was for legal secretary and one is right here in my town. So I called them. She told me that she was not sending me on any at all. She said that since I had cancelled the last one short notice that she felt I wasn't reliable. I told her I had not cancelled one at all. I cancelled one months ago because I was passing a kidney stone. But since that time she had sent me on one and I never heard back from her regarding it. She did however call me one day and tell me she had one to send me on, but it was part time and very far away from home. I told her I wasn't interested in it because of this. I also explained to her that when she called me about it I told her that it would not be worthwhile to take one that is part time that far away, but would be interested in any of them that is full time. I also stressed to her at the time that I was still interested if they were paying enough to drive that far. She said she understood. Now she won't send me on one at all. :irked: I sometimes feel like I will never find any job that is office related around here since I am new to the area and as most small towns work I don't have an "in" with them. This sucks big time for me. Jerry told me yesterday after getting home that one of the women in the office of the factory he works at has quit and that he will check today to see if I could apply for it even if we are married. I know most factories won't hire family if one family is already working there. So I am not getting my hopes up about it. But it would be nice.

Tonight is the homecoming football game we are going too. I wish I didn't have to work the concession stand but I do. So I will suck it up and do so. I hope we win. We are still planning on going to my parents tomorrow for lunch.

I stopped by the pharmacist yesterday after work to check and see if my doctor had ever faxed over my refill. I had been waiting for two days on this to be done. Each time I checked with the pharmacy I told them it might come in under my maiden name since the doctor had not seen me since we got married. Well when I stopped sure enough they had had it there and on hold for two days since the name was different. Now mind you I had stressed and done without my medication because of this. Not to mention the many long distance phone calls I had made. :irked: But I was happy to have it as well.

What is wrong with me that I dont' have patience anymore? Is it the menopause I am starting to go through? I just wanna reach out and slap the **** out of people anymore instead of being nice. I have lost my niceness. I hold it in for family but anyone else that comes along I don't have patience for their slowness, stupidity and most of them in general. :bbredface: This really does bother me a lot. It seems I tend to be in a foul mood most of the time. At least with other people that is.

One week from today we leave for our belated honeymoon. I am so excited about it. We have so much left to do for the packing. Four days of camping and all the supplies is a long time. I have already gotten two lists of things to not forget to pack. And it keeps growing. The food list is a one page list as well. That part of the trip I hate. Wish we were close enough and had enough money to eat all for the four days. But I am not letting this get me down. We are going to start getting things together this weekend. Jerry is helping me so this takes some of the load off. He kills me with this, he cannot understand why we need so much stuff. If it were left to him we would have a tent, cover and snack food. :bbeek:

[Jenn060306]

Ahh how fustrating that that woman isn't forwarding your name on to potential employers. That really sucks! I'm sorry. Hopefully she will start putting you out there again so you can find somthing new.

You're be-lated honeymoon sounds nice.... where are you going camping?

[countrygirl]

Hey Tresia, sorry to hear that you are not feeling so up to par lately. I know how it can be to be in a new place, and not know anyone. Just take solice in the fact that the man you love is with you!!! And your kids of course!!!

I am sure that your honeymoon will help you to feel better. You deserve to get away for a bit girl!!!

I hope that you start feeling better soon. We are all here for ya babe, even if we aren't here as much as we like, we are still here for you.

[hummingbird521]

Ahh how fustrating that that woman isn't forwarding your name on to potential employers. That really sucks! I'm sorry. Hopefully she will start putting you out there again so you can find somthing new.

You're be-lated honeymoon sounds nice.... where are you going camping?

She refuses to send my name to anyone at all. No amount of talking to her worked and I have no other ideas with her. She was a pain from the get go. so I have just decided not to worry about it.

As to where we are going? We are going to Talladega, AL to the Nascar Nextel Cup races and camping on the grounds with some friends. We love Nascar and done this last year. This was the first trip my DH ever took me on. It is one long racing party weekend.

[hummingbird521]

thanks Heather I really appreciate it. Jenn you to as well. I wondered if anyone ever read this or not. haha. We both need this time away.

[Valmai]

I always read this Tresia just sometimes not sure what to say but ur always in my thoughts! xxx

[countrygirl]

Can I tell you how jealous I am that you are going to Talladega? I would so love to go to another race. I went to my first one at PIR last Nov, and wanted to go this year, but we are getting married the day before. J jokes that we could get married in the pits, but i really don't want to wear my dress there!!!!

[hummingbird521]

I always read this Tresia just sometimes not sure what to say but ur always in my thoughts! xxx

Thanks Valmai

[Jenn060306]

thanks Heather I really appreciate it. Jenn you to as well. I wondered if anyone ever read this or not. haha. We both need this time away.

I always read your journal! Sometimes i just don't know what to say. I hope you feel better. Maybe you should talk to that womans manager and see if she can get someone eles to help you. It's very unfair for her to treat you that way. Unproffesional as well!

[hummingbird521]

Can I tell you how jealous I am that you are going to Talladega? I would so love to go to another race. I went to my first one at PIR last Nov, and wanted to go this year, but we are getting married the day before. J jokes that we could get married in the pits, but i really don't want to wear my dress there!!!!

Maybe if it's possible you could go to it the day after your wedding. Make it part of your honeymoon. :D We love to go to them. We went to Texas in April and had a good time, but dega is much more fun. Jerry has gone for about 10 years now. After having gone their with him we won't be going back to texas. We plan on doing this twice a year, money permitting.

[countrygirl]

We thought about going, but we are doing a fam thing the day after. I want to see about getting tickets for the night races in April for his birthday which in May.

Can you take pics???? We ar Matt Kensith fans. If you happen to see him anyway!!!

[hummingbird521]

We thought about going, but we are doing a fam thing the day after. I want to see about getting tickets for the night races in April for his birthday which in May.

Can you take pics???? We ar Matt Kensith fans. If you happen to see him anyway!!!

We always take lots of pics. Have several on the computer now. would be happy to post some when we get back. I met and got Matt's autograph a couple years ago. He is cute to look at and very nice. I have his autograph up for sale on ebay right now if you might be interested. It is a nascar cooler with his autograph, and Jack Roush's and Casey mears. We will be ordering our tickets for April within a few weeks from getting back from this trip.

[countrygirl]

We always take lots of pics. Have several on the computer now. would be happy to post some when we get back. I met and got Matt's autograph a couple years ago. He is cute to look at and very nice. I have his autograph up for sale on ebay right now if you might be interested. It is a nascar cooler with his autograph, and Jack Roush's and Casey mears. We will be ordering our tickets for April within a few weeks from getting back from this trip.

How much are you selling it for?? Josh is a DIE HARD 17 fan.

[hummingbird521]

I have a reserve on it of $75.00 but the bidding has started out at $10. It ends in about 24 hours or so. If interested further check under "autographed nascar cooler" and you can find it. I hate to sell it but the money will come in handy for going to the races.

[countrygirl]

How ecxaclty does that work, w the reserve I mean, does that mean that the you have to bid more that $75 on it? I have only bought one thing from ebay, and I bought it outright.

[hummingbird521]

It means that I won't sell it for less than $75.00. Bidding starts at the $10 I placed on it and could go for less if no one bids my reserve. But in order to actually win it you would have to bid at least the $75.00 and it could possibly go for more. No one is able to see the reserce price but once it is met they let you know that it is going to go to the highest bidder. It is to protect my price of not selling it any cheaper. I had another one with Mark Martin's autograph and sold it on there last year for $150. so not sure how this one will do.

[countrygirl]

It means that I won't sell it for less than $75.00. Bidding starts at the $10 I placed on it and could go for less if no one bids my reserve. But in order to actually win it you would have to bid at least the $75.00 and it could possibly go for more. No one is able to see the reserce price but once it is met they let you know that it is going to go to the highest bidder. It is to protect my price of not selling it any cheaper. I had another one with Mark Martin's autograph and sold it on there last year for $150. so not sure how this one will do.

Wow, I did not know all of that. Thanks for the info. I just may have to look into that.

[mariaandmanish]

I always read this Tresia just sometimes not sure what to say but ur always in my thoughts! xxx


Me too, Me too. I read this every single day, and only wish that I had the words. Question: Are there any other agencies you could put your name in through, since the B*&ch is not willing to send your name on to?

[hummingbird521]

Me too, Me too. I read this every single day, and only wish that I had the words. Question: Are there any other agencies you could put your name in through, since the B*&ch is not willing to send your name on to?

I also have another agency I am working with. I am going to call her on monday and see if she has anything for me or if she can find out about the legal secretary job and send me to it.

[hummingbird521]

This has been one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. After quitting my job on Friday I went to apply for another position. And what I am really shocked about is that I don't care whether I hear from them or not. :D My husband was not the least upset I had quit. In fact he was proud of me for standing up for myself. This was a load off of my mind in that department. We went to the homecoming game here on Friday night. I did have to work the concession stand but during half time DH came and relieved me so that I could go and watch my daughter perform. It was the bands first time for them to wear their uniforms. They looked great. When I get the pictures loaded I will post them. My mom and sister came but I only got to visit with them for about 5 minutes total. We won the game and everyone was so excited. Yesterday we went to my parents for lunch and visiting. My sister came but my brother and his wife were unable to come. Dad only got to come in for lunch since it is harvest time here and he is working 7 days a week now. But we had a wonderful visit. We also brought home a new addition to our family. We now have another cat in the house. I have always been a sucker for animals and fell in love with this one. He is beautiful. He is long haired and solid white with these beautiful light green eyes. I know he belonged to someone but he had not left moms in 3 days and no one had come looking for him. They live way out in the country so it is possible he could have been dropped off. He is an older cat, but he has been declawed and has been fixed as well. So we have already fell in love with him in return. Of course with this new addition I am now back to taking my allergy pills daily. With two cats and one dog in the house I have no choice in the matter. We named him Master Merlin. Merlin for short. All of our house pets are white. The other cat my daughter had named Snowball. This morning we went to church and enjoyed that as well. Watched nascar this afternoon and I napped for about 3 hours during it though. DH woke me up to watch the last 100 laps. The allergy pill knocked me out. That is the only thing I hate about them. After watching the races my DH, daughter and I played a new card game. It was a lot of fun.

In the morning I am going to the college here in Marked Tree and checking out what all I have to do to get started in the LPN program in January. I know I have to take at least one test and make sure all my shots and TB tests are current as well. I want to inquire about loans, grants and all of that. I am excited about it. My DH and I sat and discussed this at great length last night. He said he would love to see me go back into hospital work that when I talk about it I get this gleam in my eyes. I do miss it. We also discussed that while it would be financially very hard on us that once started in the program we would only have one year of suffering. The program takes one year. At least that is my understanding thus far. We decided that one year of sacrificing would be worth it to better ourselves for the future. So I will let everyone know how it is going and what I find out tomorrow. I haven't told my family yet I want to make sure they have room for me in the program first.

[mariaandmanish]

Good luck with it Treasia! I'm so glad that you've found something that you're excited about and looking forward to. I'm sure you'll be wonderful at it, and it's great that you're working for something you want to do.

[hummingbird521]

I was all set to go to the school earlier and noticed it was lunch time so I decided it would be best to call and see if anyone would be in the office to give me a application. She told me that she would mail it to me and took my name and address. she told me it would have all the necessary paperwork I needed to fill out for the classes and financial aide as well. Along with the testing date of next tuesday for the asset test. When she took my name she asked if I was related to my DH's ex? See my DH's ex is one of the Practical Nursing teachers. I told her who that was and asked if there would be anyway (so as not to cause a conflict) that I could be placed with the other teacher they have. She told me that they have two of them and that over the course I would end up with both of them. She said it shouldn't cause a conflict at all. :bbeek: I have a choice of going to another ASU tech school, but it is about a 45 minute drive and this one is about 1 mile from home. I am hoping this does not cause a conflict and don't know whether I should tell DH's ex that I am enrolling and see how she reacts. DH says it won't be a problem for either of us. As long as she is fair I have no problem with it. But anyway I am now excited to know that I have taken the first small step in obtaining "our" goals.

[hummingbird521]

I have been working like a crazy woman this morning and thought I would take a break for a bit. I have been doing laundry, dishes and all the usual stuff. Also going through things and getting organized for our trip. :D The laundry room/junk room is where most of it is and it is a complete disaster area. I am having to go through it again and sort things out. No more just piling **** into that room. I had it all organized once before and now it screwed up again. While I am at it I am also putting things aside for a future yard sale before long. Every little bit of money helps out. :D My DH called a bit ago and the first thing he said was "it's almost here". God so much stuff to do still yet.

I am also waiting anxiously for the mail today. Hopefully it will contain my college application. I thought today, if i catch a long enough break, that i might look online and see if there are any sites to practice an asset test on. Well time to get back at it.

[hummingbird521]

I got my practical nursing application yesterday. Now I have to gather all the necessary paperwork to go along with it and mail it back in. I take the asset test tuesday and then the last week of the month I have to go and take the "nurse entrance" test. I also have to gather up my shot records and go to the doctor and have a TB test done. This is going to cost me for that more than usual. I have to have a chest x-ray done instead of the usual test for it. I am allergic to the skin test stuff. Thankfully I enrolled now because even though classes don't start till January of 07, this is the only month they are testing. I was really cutting it close with this decision.

Yesterday I had a wonderful day at home. I got a lot of things done around here and packed a lot for our trip. Still have way more packing to go though. Will get that done today and tomorrow. The day is drawing closer and we are both excited about it.

The last time I was unemployed (recently) I had let myself feel guility for not working and was depressed the whole time. This time it is not bothering me because my DH and I discussed this at great length. He (as i have said) doesn't want me to work unless I really want to. But then last night he came home and the first thing he said to me was that if I got bored and acted like before I could look for part time work (seasonal) during the next couple of months. This one little remark hurt my feelings and pissed me off to know end. I started crying and left the room. I went outside and washed off the coolers and things for the trip. He couldnt' understand what he had done wrong. the night before when we discussed me not working I asked him not to say anything about it in the future so as not to throw me into a feeling of a guilt trip. and what does he do??:irked: Maybe he didn't mean anything by it, but now I am feeling like I should be doing more again. He apoligized profusely and said he didnt' mean anything by it and that he didn't even remember our conversation. he asked was the tv on a football game. :bbeek: Sometimes I would just like to knock some sense into him for not listening. How do you carry on a conversation and not remember it? So I am going to try not to let this get me down. I have so much to do this month in preparation for school that it would be hard to find something work related. After that if I am bored and having feelings of guilt i will look then.

I have been unable to sleep for weeks again. Hot flashes and night sweats and not being able to turn my mind off is killing me. Menopause sucks big time. I would love to have one decent nights sleep again. One where I didn't have a dozen hot flashes and didn't have to get up to go to the bathroom 3 times. When I go to the doctor for my chest x-ray I am asking for something to help me through this. I hate to get on some medication that I feel addicted to again. I just got off xanax (that I had taken for 6 years) and some other meds as well. But I have to get some sleep.

[hummingbird521]

Tomorrow is our big day. We leave at around 8 am. As soon as my daughter walks across the school yard. I still have more packing to do but not a whole lot of things. Mostly things like the ice chests with food and the dishes and clothes we will need. :D 4 glorious days with no children and no tv. does life get any better?? :D pure adult time at the races!!!!

although this morning has started out not so great. My stepson is here sick. He got up this morning and said he didn't feel well. He has a virus (i would bet on it). he keeps running to and from the bathroom. He wants to be at his mom's and i admit, I want him at his mom's. I catch every thing that comes around and I don't want to be sick on our trip. My husband is away working in the lower part of the state today and is completely unreachable. So I called his mother's cell phone. Her husband answered and said she is in another town doing clinicals at work and is unreachable as well. He just called back to tell me he tried calling her boss and gets no answer from her phone. He said he will come and get my stepson after his first class this morning if he doesn't feel any better. I told him to call me before he does cause within the last few minutes of writing this step is up feeling much better. if he continues to show improvement I will take him on to school. And I think he will show improvement. Little stinker. :bbeek:

[MOB Karen]

Have a fabulous time, Treasia!!! Take some pictures with those good looking race car drivers!!! We'll miss you!!! :D

[hummingbird521]

Have a fabulous time, Treasia!!! Take some pictures with those good looking race car drivers!!! We'll miss you!!! :D

I plan on taking lots and lots of pictures. :D last year we took over 200 of them. haha. I almost have everything packed and ready. thanks Karen, I hope we have a blast.

[hummingbird521]

Here is a few pictures from last year when we went. The first one is of me and Casey Mears (driver of this years 42 car). We both got his autograph. And he was cute.

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j155/hummingbird521/100_0772.jpg


This one is of Jerry waiting in the line for the autograph.

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j155/hummingbird521/100_0767.jpg


Hope this one is not to graphic. This older man has camped beside Jerry for about 10 years now. he was so much fun to be around. He wore this apron the whole time he was outside cooking. They surprised me with it and remember when this was taken I had only had about 4 hours sleep in two days.

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j155/hummingbird521/100_0757.jpg

[ladymelissa]

Looks like you had a great time!

[BriansBride07]

That last pic is just too funny looks like you had a great vacation can't wait to see all the pics from your honeymoon

[hummingbird521]

I have been steadily trying to get everything unpacked and cleaned after coming in from our vacation. I don't think I will ever get all the laundry done from it. And it stinks to high heaven. After being around so many camp fires for so many nights it all smells like smoke. But hopefully today I should get finished up with it.

After taking that test for entrance into school yesterday I had a real bummer of a day. It threw me into a slump and made me extremely sad. When Jerry got home yesterday evening he made me feel better. I honestly don't know what I would do without him in my life. He cheered me up and told me I am most definetly not stupid and that if I do happen to not pass it then now I know what to study for and he will be there helping me with it. So I am trying to not think about it right now.

Jerry had boy scouts last night so my daughter and I hung out here at home. But it felt good to have some one on one time with her after being gone all weekend. The two of us watched some horror movies on tv and bonded. :) My sister called a couple of times and we visited for a while. She too made me feel better about things.

I couldn't sleep again last night. I just couldn't turn my mind off long enough to get any sleep. And these hot flashes are getting worse every day. I don't know how much longer I can stand it.

Jerry has a very busy week ahead of him. He has Noah's Art at church tonight, soccer practice tomorrow night and we have a football game to attend on friday and 4 soccer games on saturday morning that his kids play in and he has to coach. So glad he and I had some time to ourselves while on vacation. Now it is back to the usual life for us. But I have to say it feels wonderful to be home.

[hummingbird521]

Today I am staying busy around the house. In the last week or so trying to get ready for our trip it has gone downhill. But hopefully will get it all cleaned today.

Jerry talked with a woman at church last night who is going to LPN classes now. She gave him her name and number and told me that I can call her for help anytime about studying. she also passed along to me (through Jerry) that she too thought she had failed the math portion of the test and she passed afterall. She said not to give up that everyone thinks they do poorly. so I still have my fingers crossed about it. She also said that this is normally a two year course and the shortage of nurses is so bad they are cramming the course into an 11 month program. ughhh......some ways this is good and a lot not. but if i pass this test and another one and make it in then I will have a lot of support and time for studying.

I think I might make a couple of chocolate pies today. I haven't baked any desserts in awhile. Now I am hungry.

[countrygirl]

Hey Tresia, def dont get down about testing. I am sure that you will be fine. Nursing courses aren't exactly the easiest thing to go thru.

And about your pies, what time should I be over to pick mine up???

[SerendipityCrafts]

She said not to give up that everyone thinks they do poorly. so I still have my fingers crossed about it.


I think I might make a couple of chocolate pies today. I haven't baked any desserts in awhile. Now I am hungry.

When will you hear one way or the other?

Pie?????????? Did I hear pie & baking all in one sentence???????????? Wow ... that is so foreign to me. I will be swinging by as well. :)

[countrygirl]

When will you hear one way or the other?

Pie?????????? Did I hear pie & baking all in one sentence???????????? Wow ... that is so foreign to me. I will be swinging by as well. :)

I'll pick you up on the way!!!

[hummingbird521]

When will you hear one way or the other?

Pie?????????? Did I hear pie & baking all in one sentence???????????? Wow ... that is so foreign to me. I will be swinging by as well. :)

I should get the test results they said in about one week. I head several people saying though that we would get them in the mail this saturday.

as for the pies? i have the homemade crusts in baking now. both of you come on over and bring your plates and forks. the more the merrier.

[hummingbird521]

Just thought you might like to know we are having homemade chicken and dumplings tonight for supper as well. can you say "yum, yum"?

[countrygirl]

Just thought you might like to know we are having homemade chicken and dumplings tonight for supper as well. can you say "yum, yum"?

What time is dinner?

[SerendipityCrafts]

I should get the test results they said in about one week. I head several people saying though that we would get them in the mail this saturday.

as for the pies? i have the homemade crusts in baking now. both of you come on over and bring your plates and forks. the more the merrier.

HECK, I will even do the dishes! mmmmmm now you have me wanting pie.

Ever heard of sugar pie? K it sounds nasty but it's the most wonderful thing. It's a french canadian tradition. Tastes like a butter tart/pecan pie but without the nuts or raisins.

http://www.recipezaar.com/72930

http://frenchfood.about.com/od/frenchcanadian/r/tartsucre.htm

http://gonewengland.about.com/od/morerecipes/r/recsugarpie.htm

[hummingbird521]

What time is dinner?

going to try and have it ready about 4 pm. so jerry can eat before soccer practice.

[hummingbird521]

HECK, I will even do the dishes! mmmmmm now you have me wanting pie.

Ever heard of sugar pie? K it sounds nasty but it's the most wonderful thing. It's a french canadian tradition. Tastes like a butter tart/pecan pie but without the nuts or raisins.

http://www.recipezaar.com/72930

http://frenchfood.about.com/od/frenchcanadian/r/tartsucre.htm

http://gonewengland.about.com/od/morerecipes/r/recsugarpie.htm

no i have never heard of that one. i will have to check it out. sounds great. i got up today in the cooking mood. don't have a clue as to why? haha.

[countrygirl]

K, I'll fire up my personal jet at about 1. I should be there in time. Oh, wait, I will get going at 12 to pick up Elizabeth along the way!!!!

[hummingbird521]

Ok it'll be ready by the time you both get here. gotta go back to stirring the pie filling or it will be lumpy. hate to have guests eat it lumpy. now ladies i gotta clean house as well. hate for you to both see it messy.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Ok it'll be ready by the time you both get here. gotta go back to stirring the pie filling or it will be lumpy. hate to have guests eat it lumpy. now ladies i gotta clean house as well. hate for you to both see it messy.

Nah don't bother cleaning .... friends don't notice friend's dirt! Cleaning is only necessary when a female relative is coming to visit. Plus, if you saw my place you would know why I wouldn't notice your dirt.

K, I'll fire up my personal jet at about 1. I should be there in time. Oh, wait, I will get going at 12 to pick up Elizabeth along the way!!!!

eeek that leaves me 5 mins to get to the airport ....oh ... not a problem because I work only 5 mins from the airport!

[countrygirl]

Nah don't bother cleaning .... friends don't notice friend's dirt! Cleaning is only necessary when a female relative is coming to visit. Plus, if you saw my place you would know why I wouldn't notice your dirt.



eeek that leaves me 5 mins to get to the airport ....oh ... not a problem because I work only 5 mins from the airport!

Hey, my personal jet will go anywhere. Have a large field in the area? I will land it there!!!!!!!

[hummingbird521]

Now what are you two still posting for? Thought you would be in the blue skies by now. Pies all done and taking a break for now. Just realized what time it is. darn i gotta work faster here.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Now what are you two still posting for? Thought you would be in the blue skies by now. Pies all done and taking a break for now. Just realized what time it is. darn i gotta work faster here.

We are posting from our blackberries LOL Have you found something nummies to put into the coffee too?

[hummingbird521]

We are posting from our blackberries LOL Have you found something nummies to put into the coffee too?

I did find some Kalua we will have to try. I have never had it think I might just fix myself some coffee now. Want me to make a large pot for you two?

[countrygirl]

My jet has a full bar, what can I bring???

[SerendipityCrafts]

I will be going through duty free at the airport so .... I can bring whatever you would like as well :)

[hummingbird521]

Haven't posted updates in a few days and thought I might do so. We had a nice weekend. Friday night after my husband got in from work we went to the high school football game to watch my daughter play in the band. Before doing this we went to McDonald's for supper, then by the soccer field to pick up the kids t-shirts for the games the next day. Somehow I got roped into being Jerry's assistant. But that is fine with me I got a t-shirt out of it and love helping him do things. He has more irons in the fire than he can handle right now. After this we went to the ballgame. Perfect football weather. Just cold enough to layer up and take a blanket to snuggle under. My daughter done very well during half time and in the concert they put on before the game started as well. I am so proud to see her really enjoying this school and making new friends. She truly fits in now and I have no worries about it anymore. We did leave the ballgame right after half time since we were beating the other team 41 - 0. We decided to come home and watch the busch series racing instead. Our team ended up winning 61 - 6. I feel for the other teams that lose so badly. I mean it is nice to win and all but heck put our second string in sometimes and give them a fighting chance.

Saturday morning Jerry had to get up early since he had soccer games to coach at 8 am. I was going to get up early with him and he let me sleep in and didn't wake me till he left. I missed the first game and past of the second one. I had to wait till the pharmacy opened and go get my meds for the week. Jerry had 4 games to coach that morning. His two kids are on both of his teams. However his daughter was unable to play since she is also a peewee football cheerleader and had a game that morning as well. Her mother did bring her to watch my step son in his game. Each team had to play twice that morning. As they will every saturday for 4 weeks. The older teams lost both games and the younger ones won both. My stepson is on the younger team. He played very well for awhile and then decided it was to hard of work and wanted to quit. We discussed this before ever starting to let them play and decided that they would have to finish the entire 4 weeks of play. This upset him and he threw a temper tantrum while on the playing field. This was embarrassing. Even to Jerry. :bbredface: Jerry finally got to see how babying him for so long is doing. My stepson threw several tantrums during the course of his two games. His mother was there during the last game he played and she wanted to take him home. Baby him some more. Jerry put his foot down with her and said "no way, he is growing up and learning to act his age". remember he is 7. I was so proud of Jerry for finally realizing how treating him this way is not good for him. And for standing up to his mother about it. He had to get on to son several times and whether he wanted to play or not was made to finish the game. Shortly (within seconds) after it was over mother grabbed the kids and headed home. The only thing I said to Jerry was "was you as embarrassed with his behavior as I was"? he agreed and said he was going to work on his temper and nip it before it gets worse. all in all the games were a lot of fun. I love watching the little ones playing. they are so cute.

After the games we came in an both of us were so tired we layed down for naps. Afterwards I went to the grocery store. We discussed before hand what meals we would have for the week. It was decided upon that we would all (myself, jerry and daughter) like to try some new recipes. I ran this past Jerry about the kids being here a few nights and what he thought about it. He said we are not coddling them with food choices anymore. We had discussed the pie issue the other day. So I bought several new things to try out. The races came on and we watched them that night. Jr. came in fourth place. it was really good racing.

Yesterday we all decided to skip church. Shame on us, but what with being gone on vacation and so much to do over the weekend we needed to get some things done at home. We set the tent up to air out and cleaned it. I massively cleaned house and done chores around here. I fixed chicken spaghetti for supper. One of the new things we were trying. We all loved it and it will become a regular now. We decided to keep our tradition of watching horror movies that I started years ago with my daughter so we all sat down last night and watched "saw" together. Jerry hates horror movies but done so with us. He know the value of keeping some traditions.

All in all we had a wonderful weekend and barely left home. It feels good working together as a family in household projects.

[SerendipityCrafts]

All in all we had a wonderful weekend and barely left home. It feels good working together as a family in household projects.

LOL sounds like a lot of us here had the same type of weekend. I am only sorry it's over. I would rather be home and back in my jammies again!

[hummingbird521]

I am only sorry it's over. I would rather be home and back in my jammies again!

I still am in my jammies and drinking coffee. Later I have to study some more, but for now, just goofing off.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I still am in my jammies and drinking coffee. Later I have to study some more, but for now, just goofing off.

You are killing me! No fair. :(

[Jenn060306]

Sounds like it was a great weekend. I'm glad things are coming together.
Good luck with your studying! I think you will do awsome!

[hummingbird521]

I am exhausted today. I stayed up till 11:30 pm studying and still am confused on parts of it. But I know it will eventually sink in with me and that little light bulb will go off in my head. :eureka: I haven't even started on it today. After I finally decided to get to bed I was up and down most of the night again with those horrible hot flashes and couldn't sleep. :hothead: That pic is how I felt most of the night. I told Jerry I cant' take this much longer. I have to start having decent nights again. We discussed it and I am going to make myself a doctor's appt. and see what he can do. I have to make one anyway for refills on my other medication. Pray God he can give me a good night again. I don't want to go back on some medicine that I become addicted to, but at this point I almost don't care. My sleepless nights are causing me problems. I don't have the energy half the time to feel like doing anything. I just want to stay in bed most days and not move, just lay comatose for hours. It is also causing me problems with concentration and this is definetly not good right now.

[mariaandmanish]

Treasia, I really hope that your doctor can help you out with the hot flashes without giving you something that will be worse in some ways. And I hope that you'll finally be able to sleep again!!! I'm sending positive vibes right to you!!

[Jenn060306]

Aww hot flashes are not cool! I hope you can get somthing to help you through them. I don't know if it's similar but when i was in the hospital i would wake up in the night sweating from the feever. I was so uncomfy. I feel for ya hun!
Take care! I hope you feel better soon!

[hummingbird521]

Busy, Busy, busy. That is how life is at the moment for me. I just got back from the health dept. from having to go see about my TB test for my nursing school application. I cannot take the regular TB test since I have been exposed to TB and every test I take shows I have it. So I am having to have a chest x-ray done instead. They made me an appt. for next monday for this and in the mean time gave me a TB card to turn in to school. I also went ahead and opted to have a tetanus shot today so I don't have to wait on my records from the last hospital I was employed at. This could have taken forever and the deadline for turning in my application is Nov. 1st. Now my arm is sore. But oh well at least it is done and over with. Now it is back to studying more math. I am however finally catching on to fractions. :bbeek: it's amazing how much we forget when we have been out of school for over 20 years.

Tonight is church and I am going to miss it to study. But I will have some more needed quiet time. We have Jerry's kids today and for the next 5 days as well. But I have to admit the quiet is getting to quiet. haha. I have started missing the kids and I know he has as well. Well it's off to study more now.

[Jenn060306]

Isn't it funny how you want quiet so much. But then finally when you get it it's almost un-nerving. lol. I feel that way alot. Plus i get REALLY bored. like now. lol.
I hope they can get all the tests you need done soon and they arn't too much of a pain in the ***. Waiting to get stuff done is always so fustrating.
Best of luck with your studying! I'm glad to hear the fractions are coming along well! I always struggled with math too! That's why i became an artist :D

[hummingbird521]

I got up tired and think I will go back to bed tired as well. Maybe I can get some sleep since it has turned off cold, rainy and wind blowing. My arm is so sore from the tetanus shot yesterday and dumb me got it on the arm that I lay on at night. Duh!!! Ok enough whining for now. :)

I plan on baking some chocolate chip cookies today and trying a new recipe for supper called Taco Ring. Everyone has had it but me. One of the women at church make it and the kids love it. Watch now, since I will be the one making it they will hate it. :( My stepdaughter tried to pull a good one on me and her father last night and this morning. She said she had to go to the nurses office at school yesterday because she was sick at her stomach. She never threw up, thankfully, but she said the nurse said she had to stay home today. Yeah, right we said. DH asked her if the nurse sent her a note home telling us this? she said "no, she said for me to tell you". Gotta get up a little earlier than that to pull one over on us. So this morning she tried getting me to tell her she could stay home. Didn't work for her though. I told her I would give her some medicine for her cough and that if she was worse they would call and have me pick her up. Needless to say she opted out of the medicine. haha.

I should be studying, but just not motivated about it right now. Maybe later after I catch a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[hummingbird521]

I finally got some sleep. Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont' know why last night was any different than any other night, except maybe because I didn't stress out over math yesterday, and because the house was cold enough to hang a slab of beef in. :) But today I feel refreshed and ready to go. I didnt' study at all yesterday. I decided to take a much needed break from it. Today I will do some more though.

We go to my hometown tonight and watch the high school football team play. my parents and sister will me meeting us there. so we will all enjoy our time together. My sister called me last night crying her eyes out. My mom had already called and prepared me for it. My sister's best friend of about 20 years was diagnosed earlier this week with breast cancer. She had colon cancer about 10 years ago. Well they are removing both her breasts and she is also contemplating going ahead and having a hysterectomy as well. Her chances are not good at all. My sister is taking this very, very hard. She said she has not broken down in front of her friend but cannot stop crying now. She cried at work all day as well. I tried taking her mind off of it but to no avail. I don't know what to do for her other than listen and be there. We are all praying for her friend as well. I also went to school with her and have known her for over 25 years. It breaks my heart to hear my sister so upset and knowing there is not much I can do to help.

I made homemade cookies yesterday and cooked a special supper for everyone. I finally found something the kids liked. At first they tried telling me that they would not like it. We sat both of them down and told them that we knew they liked this menu because they have ate it at church and that we would not accept them saying they didn't like it. They had to eat what was on their plate or no cookies for dessert. They ate every bite of it and both said they liked it a lot. This was a real bonus for me. Today I am making cheesy chicken enchiladas for supper. I hope they like this as well.

We all had fun last night making snowflakes together and playing the hangman game. It felt good to do this together as well.

[hummingbird521]

so bummed out today just wanna sit and cry. had a great night on friday night, went to my hometown and watched our high school senior football team beat my hometown. Got to visit with parents and sister as much as possible during the game. I was extremely disappointed because we couldn't go back to any of their houses to visit when over. The kids and Jerry had to be up early for stupid soccer games on saturday morning. the soccer games went ok. seemed to take forever for them to end. I coached part of the last game of my stepsons. We had our bonding time together. He did not pout, cry or throw a fit during the game i coached. I will go into more detail later about it.

right now everyone is gone to take my step daughter to a birthday party at a friends house. I opted to stay in for a bit for some peace and quiet time. not in the party or family mood right now. don't really know what kind of mood i am in. our races is on and I don't even want to watch them. now i know i am in bad shape.

[hummingbird521]

Not as bummed out today thankfully. Just got depressed and sad yesterday. Sometimes that happens to me. But I guess it stemmed from the fact that my tonsils were swollen and my throat was extremely sore and I started running a fever in the afternoon. I ended up sleeping most of the darn day away. When I got up later on in the evening my DH fixed me some soup and crackers for supper. He is awesome to me.

As I had said the soccer game that I coached for my step son was actually one of the best ones I have watched to date. he and I had a little talk before hand. The reason I coached it is because my DH was still coaching another one that was going on and most of the parents were ready to get this one going. So since I am assistant I offered to coach till DH was done. So before the game I pulled my stepson off to the side and asked him if he wore diapers? he looked at me kinda funny and said "no diapers are for babies". So I told him he had been acting like a baby by the pouting, crying and temper tantrum throwing and that I know he was more grown up than that. To make me and his dad proud of him and not act like a baby. he looked at me and then we all huddled together. I ended up coaching till half time at which point my DH took over. My stepson done beautifully that game. Afterwards he came up to me and gave me a hug and wanted to know "if I was proud of him"? I hugged him back and said I am always proud of him when he does his best. And that I knew his best was what he had just done". He looked up at me and grinned the biggest smile. Through the first game of the day that DH coached (while steps mother there) step son done poorly with his attitude. Each time my DH would talk to him about it or get on to him for it the ex would pull my stepson off to the side and baby him further. This just made matters worse. When we got home my DH asked me what I had said to his son. I told him what took place and he said it worked. We discussed this at length. I told him what his ex had done and how this only makes matters worse and that maybe the two of them should talk about how to treat him when he behaves this way. With DH treating him on way about his behaviour and ex treating him another it is confusing my stepson. I don't know what more we can do about things like this. We have certain rules at our house that we abide by and apparantly she has and does things differently.

Today I have to go to the doctor for my chest x-ray and then back to the health dept. to drop the films off. Then off to the grocery store to buy stuff for homemade soup tonight. And of course study more. I still have to gather some more papers up for my application.

This weekend we go and see my grandchildren. I am so looking forward to it. My DH cannot come because he has to coach the soccer games so it will be bonding time alone with my daughter.

[BriansBride07]

So glad that you are feeling better today :). Yeah on your stepson doing such a great job at his soccer game. As for the hot flashes my mom went to her doc. and he told her about this pill at the health food store and it has taken away 90% of her hotflashes I can't remember off hand exactly what it was but I think don't quote me on this one (flash ease) is what he told her to try. Best of luck to you. Keeping my fingers crossed that the exam will go well and all of this studying will pay off.

[hummingbird521]

So glad that you are feeling better today :). Yeah on your stepson doing such a great job at his soccer game. As for the hot flashes my mom went to her doc. and he told her about this pill at the health food store and it has taken away 90% of her hotflashes I can't remember off hand exactly what it was but I think don't quote me on this one (flash ease) is what he told her to try. Best of luck to you. Keeping my fingers crossed that the exam will go well and all of this studying will pay off.

I just got back from having my chest x-ray done and made myself an appt. to see the doctor next month for refills of my bp medicine as well as to see about something for the hot flashes. I have been taking over the counter herbal medicine called "estroven extra strength" for about one year now. while at first they did help a lot they aren't working now.

I also forgot to mention that saturday afternoon late in the evening my stepson came and crawled into the bed with me to watch tv and snuggled up close and we fell asleep together. this made me feel good and made him feel good as well. he slept next to me till DH took him upstairs to bed around 9 pm.

[hummingbird521]

Thought I would write this rather quickly. Not going to have much time today. My daughter has came down with a virus (hopefully only 24 hour one) and I had to pick her up from school early yesterday. We (needless to say) did not have a very good night around here. she slept in our room on a cot last night. i was scared with her being upstairs I could not hear her if she got sick many times.

the soup was a hit with my DH. He loved it. and the cake turned out well. Although i won't be making it again anytime soon. I didn't have a double boiler to make the frosting with so it took forever to do.

Well gotta run and get things done around here while daughter is sleeping.

[BriansBride07]

Glad the soup was a big hit. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon and it is only a 24 hr virus.

[Jenn060306]

Sorry to hear DD is not feeling well. Hopefully she will recover soon!
You can put a metal bowl over a pot of water to make a double boiler if you don't have one. It works for melting chocolate without buringing it nicely! :bun: I bet the cake was yummy! I am totally craving some chocolate cake now. lol.

[hummingbird521]

Well my DD has not gotten sick again (which is great), but now she is having some major chills. She is bundled up tight on the couch laying in the sun like one of the cats. She hates missing school so is upset about this. Plus today they get the report cards. I am going to get hers after DH gets home this evening.

I found all the paperwork needed for my LPN class application earlier. Now I have to take it to the school for mailing. I hopefully can do this tomorrow. I should be studying but opted for later today. Shame on me, but I can't get my thoughts in that direction right now.

DH had soccer practice last night with his son. Since DD sick I was unable to go. when he came in he was in not so great a mood. He told me his son showed his butt again really bad. DH pulled him to the side and told him if he didn't change his attitude he would take away all his activities on the computer and his playstation as well. Stepson was throwing a fit about not wanting to play, wanted to go home and play his games instead. We talked about this again. DH called his ex and told her what rule he had made regarding the games. She (naturally) dissagreed with him. We talked about how the two of them need to do this together. But obviously she is not interested in this. I just don't know what more to do, if there is anything I can do.

[BriansBride07]

Glad your DD may be feeling better keeping my fingers crossed that she is on the road to feeling better.
As for your S-son my only advice that works for my 12yr old going on 13 is to take away privelages. pc,playstation, hand held games and tv ect. the more he does the more that gets taken away. best of luck to you. maybe he will realize soon that if you and his father don't put up with it in your house he will stop. As for his mom she will have to go it alone since she is not willing to try and help out when he is at her house and visa versa

[hummingbird521]

My DD is back on the road to recovery now. She has not run a fever since last night but I kept her home from school today. She is however gone to church now. She was tired of being cooped up she said. which is always a good sign. Everyone is gone but me. I am supposed to be studying some more. But just can't seem to get into it right now. I have been feeling down in the dumps lately. Actually since returning from our belated honeymoon. I don't know if it's the weather (nasty, cloudy, cold and rainy) or just depressed. Money has gotten so tight since I quit my job and decided to go to school instead. Tight enough that we have ate soup for 3 days in a row. After tuesday when my final test is done I am going to look for work again. DH is doing all he can do but it is not enough. Sure he could look for a part time to go with his full time, but I would rather work first. Most days like today I just wanna give up and quit. That would accomplish nothing however. DH doesn't appear to be stressed over things. But I sure am. We still have no gas for heat. We have been heating our bedroom and living room, kids room and baths with electric heaters. Which will shoot the electric bill up horribly. How did we get ourselves into this shape? I blame myself for quitting the job I had when moving in here before we got married. I was tired of that job, but didn't realize at the time how freaking hard it would be to find another one. oh well..................i will stop whining now.

[Jenn060306]

I'm sorry to hear things are tough for you guys right now. It will all work out for you.
I know it can be hard to belive at times. But God wouldn't give you and Jerry challenges you couldn't handle. All your struggles will make you a stronger person. Alot of people have been saying that to me in the last month. At times it made me want to scream when i heard it. But i promise you! Things do get better.
No worries about whinning... sometimes you just need to get everything off your chest to feel better. Take care hun!

[hummingbird521]

Well after a completely crummy night last night I woke up to another dreary day outside. You know, I hate winter time with a passion. But it is just something I have to endure and nothing I can do about it. Last night after everyone got in from church I still felt no better. I went to bed early and just started crying. I had to get it out. I hated doing this as I am sure Jerry blames himself now. We talked about how I feel and what is going on with me. What would I do without him? he is my rock and supporter. No matter how down or depressed I become he is there for me. I know this will pass, but till then I just exist I feel like.

Usually I am excited about the holidays coming up. Thinking of all the decorating I can do, all the baking and the gift buying. Not to mention planning where we are going to be, who is coming to our house and what the kids will get. But I just can't get excited this year. This should be one of the happiest holidays I have ever had and instead I am dreading them. For the life of me right now I just can't get excited. My DD and I are supposed to be going out of town this weekend to see my grandchildren and I can't even get excited about that. I know that when we do go we really can't afford to spend the money for the trip as it will take away from things we need here at home. But I do not want to dissapoint my DD by telling her we simply can't go.

I am going to try and stay busy today and study more and take my mind off of things. Today started out sad as well. When I opened the curtains this morning I looked out and seen one of our kittens laying dead in the yard. My stepson was standing with me and noticed it as well. Upon inspection it appears to have gotten hit by a car during the night. So I had to tell the other two kids about it. They all loved this kitten the most. So all three kids went to school feeling gloomy today.

[Valmai]

Im sorry ur feeling like this at the moment Treasia. Im sure things will pick up on the employment front real soon, we are having really depressing weather here too and yeah i agree it makes u feel worse, if u see the sun shining then it makes u feel better. At least jerry knows how low ur feeling now too, however much we dont like telling them then they just worry about whats up with us anyways then we find ourselves wondering why we didnt tell them in the first place hey? Take care i'll be thinking of you xxx

[Jenn060306]

Have you tried Vitamin D supplements?
I'm wondering if you have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) My mom get's it really bad i do a bit but not as bad. You get Vitamin from being in the sun, I've heard people take it through the winter to help with feeling so down. My mom is going to try it this year. Either that or you could try getting a light that gives off the same lightwaves as the sun.
You might want to talk to you Dr. About what you can do to feel better.
Take Care hun.

[hummingbird521]

Another dreary nasty day outside. Although it has warmed up some. My DD and I went to the haunted house last night. She had a good time and I had a good time since she did. It also just felt good to get out of the house. It was somewhat scary at times. But I have been to better. But the whole concept for me was to do something with my daughter, just the two of us. So for this I am grateful. Before the house we went out to eat at McDonalds.

My DH and I had to break the news to my DD last night that we just can't go to see the grandbabies this weekend. So our trip has been cancelled again. It broke her heart as well as mine for having to tell her yet again that we just can't afford to go. But she is very mature and understood. I think this is part (a small part) of what has been bothering me lately. I knew in my heart that if we went for the weekend that we would not be able to have money to survive on the rest of the week.

The kids left for school excited today since they will be having their parties for Halloween today. I sometimes wish I could go back to those carefree days. I hope they have a wonderful time. Still unsure as to what our Halloween night will consist of. Normally the ex and DH go take the kids trick or treating together. But DH has not found out about this year. Which upsets me that once again we are having to wait on ex to decide. I am sick of waiting on his ex to decide stuff. :hothead: Why should we? Why can't they decide to split the holidays like most people I know do? I would like to talk to DH about it, but don't know how to bring it up without him being resentful of me asking. I don't want to take time away from his kids, but I hate that we can't plan things together with them or have to wait on the ex to decide what to do at the last minute. Am I being petty and selfish? This is also one reason I know that thanksgiving and christmas are going to be a bummer this year. They have yet to decide what to do.

[BriansBride07]

So sorry that once again you are having a down day. It does sound like you are carrying alot on your shoulders and not completly talking to your DH about these issues with his ex. I really think that you should let him know how depressed you are getting over everything going on. I don't think your being selfish about these issues. There is no reason why everything has to be put on hold while his ex. makes up her mind. I understand that she is the kids mother but in a way it seems to me that she is still controlling there relationship. Why can't your DH tell his ex. this is what you and him have planned and if she wants to participate then fine if not oh well she will go and do something else with the kids on a diff. day. I really think that your DH and his wife really need to sit down and have a heart to heart about the kids, without leaving everything up to his ex to decide. these are his kids to.Best of luck to you I hope the blues go away soon :)

[hummingbird521]

So sorry that once again you are having a down day. It does sound like you are carrying alot on your shoulders and not completly talking to your DH about these issues with his ex. I really think that you should let him know how depressed you are getting over everything going on. I don't think your being selfish about these issues. There is no reason why everything has to be put on hold while his ex. makes up her mind. I understand that she is the kids mother but in a way it seems to me that she is still controlling there relationship. Why can't your DH tell his ex. this is what you and him have planned and if she wants to participate then fine if not oh well she will go and do something else with the kids on a diff. day. I really think that your DH and his wife really need to sit down and have a heart to heart about the kids, without leaving everything up to his ex to decide. these are his kids to.Best of luck to you I hope the blues go away soon :)

thank you so much. I think I needed to know this is not me being selfish but I too feel she does still control a lot of this relationship and it is driving me crazy. I just don't know how to approach my DH about this. When I have brought it up that she does still control it he tells me she doesn't. But we continually place our lives on hold for her. And I know she does this on purpose as well, which upsets me further. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach DH with this issue?

[hummingbird521]

So sorry that once again you are having a down day. It does sound like you are carrying alot on your shoulders and not completly talking to your DH about these issues with his ex. I really think that you should let him know how depressed you are getting over everything going on. I don't think your being selfish about these issues. There is no reason why everything has to be put on hold while his ex. makes up her mind. I understand that she is the kids mother but in a way it seems to me that she is still controlling there relationship. Why can't your DH tell his ex. this is what you and him have planned and if she wants to participate then fine if not oh well she will go and do something else with the kids on a diff. day. I really think that your DH and his wife really need to sit down and have a heart to heart about the kids, without leaving everything up to his ex to decide. these are his kids to.Best of luck to you I hope the blues go away soon :)

thank you so much. I think I needed to know this is not me being selfish but I too feel she does still control a lot of this relationship and it is driving me crazy. I just don't know how to approach my DH about this. When I have brought it up that she does still control it he tells me she doesn't. But we continually place our lives on hold for her. And I know she does this on purpose as well, which upsets me further. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach DH with this issue?

[BriansBride07]

thank you so much. I think I needed to know this is not me being selfish but I too feel she does still control a lot of this relationship and it is driving me crazy. I just don't know how to approach my DH about this. When I have brought it up that she does still control it he tells me she doesn't. But we continually place our lives on hold for her. And I know she does this on purpose as well, which upsets me further. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach DH with this issue?

I have never been in a relationship where there was an ex involved, but I can only give you the advice that I think that I would try in this situation.
When talking to your DH maybe use terms like this is making me feel like....
I understand that you are trying to keep an open relationship with your ex for the kids sake but this is taking a toll on our relationship and i am getting depressed over this matter. Then continue to tell him everything that is on your mind.

Sounds to me that DH is stuck in trying to make things easier for his ex so he will she will not hold the kids over his head. Is there any court order? Sometimes the courts can go through the mess of the custody and decide when the children will spend certain holidays with which parent that may be the route he has to take best of luck to you

[hummingbird521]

I have never been in a relationship where there was an ex involved, but I can only give you the advice that I think that I would try in this situation.
When talking to your DH maybe use terms like this is making me feel like....
I understand that you are trying to keep an open relationship with your ex for the kids sake but this is taking a toll on our relationship and i am getting depressed over this matter. Then continue to tell him everything that is on your mind.

Sounds to me that DH is stuck in trying to make things easier for his ex so he will she will not hold the kids over his head. Is there any court order? Sometimes the courts can go through the mess of the custody and decide when the children will spend certain holidays with which parent that may be the route he has to take best of luck to you

the only court orders their is in their divorce is that they have joint custody of the children. all it says about the holidays and where the kids stay is that "they will share the children". that's it. nothing more.

the way you would handle it sounds like a good idea to me. I am open for anything at this point. thanks for the advice.

[BriansBride07]

No problem hope something works. If not maybe if you could get the extra $ together eventually and I know how it feels not to have enough $ for extra's let alone everyday living. You could go to the courts and have the papers changed for the holidays.

[SerendipityCrafts]

thank you so much. I think I needed to know this is not me being selfish but I too feel she does still control a lot of this relationship and it is driving me crazy. I just don't know how to approach my DH about this. When I have brought it up that she does still control it he tells me she doesn't. But we continually place our lives on hold for her. And I know she does this on purpose as well, which upsets me further. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach DH with this issue?

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tresia)))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))) I don't know if it makes you feel any better but you aren't alone!

We have it coming and going from both sides - two exs' & 4 nearly adult kids with schedules of their own.

DH's parents are talking about us spending Christmas with us (which is a good thing) but his brother is talking about meeting up at the parent's place in NB (we want to stay here because my kids come over Christmas). I just warned my daughter yesterday that we would be renting a place for Christmas/New Years. She asked me if she could bring her boyfriend - argh!

I told DH that I am tired of everyone making our plans for us and advised him to put a deposit on the place before someone makes plans first! It happens every year .... we can never make any firm plans because the kids schedules or the ex's have plans of their own.

[hummingbird521]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tresia)))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))) I don't know if it makes you feel any better but you aren't alone!

It does help some Elizabeth to know I am not the only one out there experiencing this. I know for the kids sake it is better to be able to spend the holidays with both parents, but I just wish they would say "hey, i get christmas eve and you get christmas day". not try to do it both days. can't go out of town and see my family this way.

[hummingbird521]

Well I just took my LPN school application to the school for submittal. Since it is so close to the due date the lady that is giving the test next week is personally hand delivering it for me. This gave me the opportunity to ask her what all kinds of questions I need to be studying for. She told me to study math with a vengeance. She looked at my previous test scores and said I needed to brush up on everything. She also said they had decided to take more students this time. so they will be taking 22 in one of the colleges and 22 in the one here close to home. I don't care which one I go to but would prefer here naturally. She also said however that the students hoping to enroll was very large this time. I am going to try to stay positive about it.

[SerendipityCrafts]

It does help some Elizabeth to know I am not the only one out there experiencing this. I know for the kids sake it is better to be able to spend the holidays with both parents, but I just wish they would say "hey, i get christmas eve and you get christmas day". not try to do it both days. can't go out of town and see my family this way.

Given the distance between us and both sets of kids, they can't spend Christmas at both places. My ex and I have alternated years and that worked out fairly well but now DD has a boyfriend and a job so, I am sure that is going to screw up plans. DS's hockey seems to always get in the way too. The dang tournaments and games go on despite Christmas holidays - do the other parents, coaches and kids not have a life????? You would think there would be a break between Christmas and New Years.

DH's kids have never spent Christmas with us but he has never put his foot down either. They will come visit before or after but we have never had them the day of. I would really like to see them at least one year before they are married and tied down with kids of their own, for DH's sake.

[hummingbird521]

Given the distance between us and both sets of kids, they can't spend Christmas at both places. My ex and I have alternated years and that worked out fairly well but now DD has a boyfriend and a job so, I am sure that is going to screw up plans. DS's hockey seems to always get in the way too. The dang tournaments and games go on despite Christmas holidays - do the other parents, coaches and kids not have a life????? You would think there would be a break between Christmas and New Years.

DH's kids have never spent Christmas with us but he has never put his foot down either. They will come visit before or after but we have never had them the day of. I would really like to see them at least one year before they are married and tied down with kids of their own, for DH's sake.

I understand the distance thing as well. My son and DIL live about 3 hours away and their schedules I always try to work around. They do manage to come and spend the holiday's with me though. Either at least on eve or day of. I am happy for either one. Heck I would be happy for the weekend before or after here. I can understand (naturally) Jerry wanting to see the kids for both days. But I just don't see how it is feasible. And I don't see why we always have to wait on the ex to make up her mind. Jerry has one too darn it. I just looked at the calendar and realized if things stay the way they are now that she will have the kids on the weekend before and the days of christmas eve and day. Which will make this worse to decide. I know what they done in the past worked, but it is not going to work now. Even if both of them split the two days then this means that I and daughter will have to go to my parents and sisters, brothers by ourselves. I would like it to be as a family together. Heck they even try to work it out that the kids go to all (4 sets since grandparents divorced to) the grandparents over the holidays. This is not going to work out. At least I can't see it working out. At some point I am going to broach this subject with DH again and see if he can start saying what we are doing.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Good luck with your endeavor! Maybe I will talk to DH too and see if he won't just rent the place and we will tell everyone - we have rented a place, we would like you to come for Christmas. Doesn't seem that hard - I don't know why he hasn't done it! LOL

[hummingbird521]

Good luck with your endeavor! Maybe I will talk to DH too and see if he won't just rent the place and we will tell everyone - we have rented a place, we would like you to come for Christmas. Doesn't seem that hard - I don't know why he hasn't done it! LOL

It sounds like a winner to me. My mother told me awhile back to plan my holidays myself. don't plan around anyone but me. And that if Jerry and the kids made other arrangments she said that she felt sure that next year he would wise up and join in on my family fun. I might just do this as well. Tired of trying to please everyone and no one gets pleased.

[mariaandmanish]

It sounds like a winner to me. My mother told me awhile back to plan my holidays myself. don't plan around anyone but me. And that if Jerry and the kids made other arrangments she said that she felt sure that next year he would wise up and join in on my family fun. I might just do this as well. Tired of trying to please everyone and no one gets pleased.

I usually would not be one to suggest making plans separate from DH, but given the situation, I think that your mom might just be right this time! I know that you've talked with you DH about her, and it seems like he's trying to please you both, and pleasing neither of you. That's completely unfair to you! I agree with BriansBride that discussing everything in an "I feel like" way is a great way of approaching the subject. That usually works with my DH when nothing else does. And in that case, bring up all of the issues relating to his ex. And that if she doesn't let you know what she wants to do within a week or so, then you'll make plans that she'll have to fit into. I'm so sorry that you're still going through all of this with her and am hoping that it gets easier soon!

[hummingbird521]

Today is my last day to study for the big test tomorrow. I still have much to do and will get very busy in a little bit.

Our weekend around here was like any other. Friday night my DD did not have to go to the football game since the weather was so bad. We did win the game though. Only one more to go before the playoffs. My DH and I had opted out of going to it anyway. This time of year my allergies are worse than any other time. I hate when it is time to get the crops in. The gins/granaries are going full speed ahead with the putting up of cotton and soybeans. i am deathly allergic to the soybean dust. So I have been inside all weekend and still miserable from it. I have taken so many benedryls that I have slept the weekend away. I hate to do this on our weekends. Especially the weekends we have most of it to ourselves. But nothing I could do about it either.

Friday night was a good night however. My allergies had not kicked up so bad at that time. So when the house got quiet I say down with my DH and we discussed the upcoming holidays. I approached the subject like everyone had advised me to do. he agreed with me about hating to wait till the last minute and that also things would definetly not work like they have done in the past. Instead of asking him to talk to his ex about it alone I asked if he would like for all of us to sit down (him, me, her and her dh) and discuss it together. He said he thinks that would be best for all of us. We decided that in a couple of weeks or less we would invite them over here (on our turf) so to speak and talk about it. He said she will always say something along the lines of she hasn't given it any thought yet and she doesn't care. When she does this then we are going to suggest that we want the kids on christmas day and she can have them christmas eve. I do hope this works out for all of us. I feel much better about getting my feelings out in the open with DH.

Saturdays' soccer games were cancelled as well since the weather was nasty outside. No one was upset about it. In fact I think all of the parents were happy. haha. My DH and DD and I all sat down and played some card games on saturday. We also discovered some online hunting games in which we all played and enjoyed ourselves. DH cancelled the boy scout meeting on sunday afternoon too.

Now if I could just get my allergies under control again I would feel better.

[BriansBride07]

gOOD LUCK ON THE EXAM...

So glad that all went well with the talk with the DH hopfully it will go as well with his ex.
Have you ever tried clairiten (sp) for your allergies at least maybe you wouldn't zonk out after taking some meds. I know where I live it is over the counter but a bit expensive though. Or maybe you could go to the doc. and he could give you something in a prescription and that would be cheaper hope that the allergies will be over soon.

[hummingbird521]

gOOD LUCK ON THE EXAM...

So glad that all went well with the talk with the DH hopfully it will go as well with his ex.
Have you ever tried clairiten (sp) for your allergies at least maybe you wouldn't zonk out after taking some meds. I know where I live it is over the counter but a bit expensive though. Or maybe you could go to the doc. and he could give you something in a prescription and that would be cheaper hope that the allergies will be over soon.

Thanks for the advice on the allergy pills. But my body is kinda strange. Most medicines have the adverse reaction on me and I have to be careful what I take. I have tried Zyrtec, claritin and most all of them. They tend to mess with my high blood pressure. Benedryl is the only thing I have found that does work. Every now and then something else comes along I can use.

[BriansBride07]

Thanks for the advice on the allergy pills. But my body is kinda strange. Most medicines have the adverse reaction on me and I have to be careful what I take. I have tried Zyrtec, claritin and most all of them. They tend to mess with my high blood pressure. Benedryl is the only thing I have found that does work. Every now and then something else comes along I can use.

Oh i hear ya on the reverse effects from med's on your body I have the same problem. Oh well was worth a shot lol... I don't blame ya then for going for the one that doesn't mess with you other than zoking you out for the weekend.

[hummingbird521]

Well today is the day!!! I leave shortly to go take my NET test for the classes. I studied some yesterday and then after completely stressing myself out said to heck with it. Either I pass or I don't. All this stress is driving me crazy. I really really hope I get in but have resigned myself to the fact that if I don't then it just wasn't meant to be right now.

Last night was not so great around here for any of us. My new cat Merlin ran out the door (which he has done numerous times lately) and DH went out to get him later on. Well DH came through the door bleeding horribly from his hand. Merlin bit him hard when he tried to pick him up and bring him back inside. I had to clean his wound up and he is very sore today. He wanted to kill the cat and I don't blame him. This cat is mean and we don't know why. We would just leave him outside but he has been declawed and therefore couldn't defend himself. We finally got him into the house but he has been skittish and off to himself. Now we are all kinda scared of him. I don't know a lot about cats and this puzzles me and I am somewhat worried about the kids being around him.

My nerves have been horrible lately. I don't know what is wrong with me and can't wait for my doctor's appt to see what I can get done. I exploded on my DD last night over her homework. It was like I couldn't control myself. I don't know if it is stress or menopause or whatever it is. But I pray the doctor can figure this out. I can't concentrate on anything for long, I have bouts of major dizziness and just explode at the drop of a hat. I still have the hot flashes and night sweats, but have started doubling my dose of medicine and this has helped with those. My allergies are worse than ever as well. I don't know if this is all related or not. But I am not happy with myself right now.

After my test today I am going by a few places to pick up applications to work temp through the holiday's. We really need the extra money right now.
well I guess this is all for now. Wish me luck on this test.

[BriansBride07]

Best of luck to you on your exam today I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you pass.

So sorry that your change of life is giving you such a hard time. Hopefully the doctor can suggest something so it will soon be gone.

[hummingbird521]

I just got back from taking the NET test and feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I didn't realize how much pressure I had placed on myself with this test. I don't know if I done well or not. I won't get the results back for about two weeks. At which time I will also find out if I was accepted into the January course or not. I did find out that I should have already been applying for the grants and things for school. I assumed you had to wait to see if you were accepted or not. So I guess I will be doing this now. when I first arrived to take the test I decided it might be a good idea to make sure they had received my application. So I stopped by the receptionists desk and asked. I then found out they had received it in time but that I still had to have my MMR shots updated. She told me that if I had it done today and faxed over confirmation that it would still be fine. So immediately upon leaving the school I went by the health dept. and had another shot. they swore to me they would fax it today. But to be on the safe side I am calling later to make sure. I also have to go back in a month for my second shot. Gee I want to give shots, not receive them. haha.

I think I might cook a big supper again tonight and then get ready for all the trick or treaters to come by. I decided today that I might as well dress up for the occasion. I have decided I would try to squeeze into one of my DD's small skirts and a small top and fix myself as a hooker. won't my DD and DH be proud of me. :) I am going to tease my hair up and put on lots and lots of makeup. Dont' know if my feet will be able to stand heels or not. We will see. Can't wait to see my DH's face when he walks in the door tonight.

[BriansBride07]

So glad that some of the stress has been releaved from taking the exam. Are you going to take pics of you in your costume and post them that would be great lol and a pic of your DH face when he walks in the door and see's you. You should be in for a wild night have a great time.

[mariaandmanish]

I'm so glad that the test is over, so the stress from that is released! Sounds like a fun evening you're going to have, and the look you'll get is something you should capture on camera!!!! Enjoy the trick or treating!

[hummingbird521]

My mother just called me and we had a very nice chat on the phone. why didn't I talk with my mother ages ago about my behaviour? I have talked a little bit about how I am feeling and how I have been acting but this time we really got down and detailed about it. She has made me feel so much better with her wisdom. That is she made me feel better after laughing her A$$ off first. :) she told me what I am going through is most assuredly menopause and that I can get through it. But I have to take charge of ME again. She said I have spread myself to thin, put everyone else and their problems ahead of my feelings and that since marrying and moving here that I have moer to deal with than before. She said to STOP trying to make everyone happy and make myself happy first. Before marriage it was myself and my DD only. I knew my routine, I knew what I was all about. Now I have no routine (with kids and an ex wife that is impossible), I stress over things I shouldn't ( I have to learn to pass the buck about his kids to DD), I am cooking meals for 5 instead of what we can find and cook ourselves. This may not make to much sense to anyone but me, but I completely understand what she is saying. She also (after laughing) gave me permission to voice my opinions and blow up if need be to feel better. No one has ever given me permission to do this. To let the small petty stuff slip by the wayside. THings like my SDD (step daughter) came home from school after the first week and had failed the eye exam. I have worried about this continously and talked with my DH about it. He says his ex is checking into her insurance for the kids and doesn't think it is covered. Well I signed the two steps up on insurance that covers dental and eye. Told him the other day that now we could make her an appt. to have her eyes seen about. he told his ex and she said she has had eye insurance but has been to busy to take her. This upset me a lot. My mother in her infinite wisdom told me to drop it. I have done all I can do and pass the buck and stress onto them. Not my responsibility to worry about it. when SDD comes home with bad grades for me to say "well what do you expect when she can't see her work". Little things like this I take to much worry about. My DH is the head of the boy scout group his son is in. I stress and help him about what they will do and plan from week to week. On sunday when it was about time for the meeting I asked him what he had planned for it. Nothing!!!! He asked me what they should do. I said "I don't care, I am not the leader". He cancelled the meeting. Mother said for me to do this more often. Take charge again of myself. Hearing this alone makes me feel so much less stressed now. Now ask me what we are doing tonight? I dont' give a rat's fine pootie. I don't care if supper gets cooked, I don't care if DH takes his kids trick or treating with his ex, I don't care if they have a costume ( have stressed over it to) and I don't care who comes here. I am having a good night no matter what I decide to do that makes ME happy.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am having a good night no matter what I decide to do that makes ME happy.

Good for you! I applaud you. Let some things slide and don't worry if you don't get EVERYTHING done. When we try to be super wife, super mom, super employee/super student, and super person all rolled into one that we lose focus on who we are.

Sending a virtual hug your mother's way (((((((((((Treasia's Mom))))))))))
With age comes wisdom - never was there a truer line!

[hummingbird521]

I am sure all of you have been anxiously awaiting what has been going on in my life for the last day. haha. yesterday I was sick in bed all day. Not the flu or anything like that but I woke up with my neck and shoulders so stiff I couldn't turn my head either direction. Don't know what happened but it is fine thankfully today.

Halloween night was so much fun. I did go ahead and dress up as a prostitute for my husband to be surprised. I looked around the house for items to wear and use. I finally found a black skirt (my DD's which is a size 9) and squeezed my butt into it. I put on black stockings and heels, a black push up bra and a white top (actually a summer jacket) that only ties. It was opened to my belly button and left nothing to the imagination. I put on lots of makeup (artfully done though) and put so much hairspray on my hair that it stood out in all directions. I pulled half of my hair back with bobby pins and left the rest down. I then waited for him to come home. My daughter during this time was about to die. she thought I looked awesome. As DH came in through the back door I yelled for him to stop in the kitchen. I told him I had on a costume and to tell me what I was dressed up as. I wish you could have seen the look on his face. It was priceless to say the least. His chin fell down to his knees. I strutted around for a few minutes and then lets just say he grabbed me for one heck of a kiss. I asked him if we still planned on taking the kids to church that night for trick or treating there? He stuttered around for awhile and really couldn't come up with an answer to that one. I told him that no way was i going out in public looking like I looked and that I was planning on changing before the kids or his came over. She had called to see if he wanted to take the kids around with her. When she showed up with the kids I had already changed into regular clothes. The kids looked so cute dressed up. She asked him if he wanted to go with them. He answered "not this year, you can take them around and Treasia and I will take them next year". :) I loved his answer. I was so proud of him for doing this. Not to mention that I might have to dress this way more often. haha. We stayed home and passed out candy to the kids who came by here. It was just the two of us and we had a very nice night. My DD decided she wanted to go around the neighborhood with her step sister and brother. After they returned and he told his kids goodnight and looked at all of their candy he asked his ex if she had given any thought to the holidays as far as what day she wanted to have the kids. Of course she said that was to far in advance and she hadn't thought about it. he told her that we needed to get together (all of us) and discuss it in the next couple of weeks. she left speechless.

[SaralovesMike]

Sorry you were feeling yucky. It sounds like stress to me. Funny how that works sometimes. A hot bath and a glass of wine always works for me.
Glad you're feeling better!.

[BriansBride07]

Kuddos to you dresses up for your DH and he absoutly loved it. And im so glad to hear that by the sounds of it your DH is finally standing up for himself when it comes to his ex. Sorry to hear you were under the weather yesterday with neck and shoulder pain. Glad its all better today.

[hummingbird521]

Not a lot happening here at the moment. I have been extremely lazy today since I am under the weather. I got up this morning long enough to get the kids off to school and back to bed I went. I was up at midnight last night till 2:30 am this morning. This cold has gotten me down and I can't breathe.

I am waiting on my daughter to get home to watch the younger kids after school so I can run to the store and pick up some things. I am dying for a Mt. Dew and going through withdrawals right now. haha. Plus I am going to pick up some meds for cold. What I have been taking is not working.

I felt so bad last night that we stayed home from the last football game (till the playoffs anyway). After my daughter got home and told us what had happened we wish we would have went. Thank gosh she was not injured. With about 9 minutes left to play the teams got into a major fight. Spectators were involved as well. The teams were pulling people over the fence from where they were watching. The police had to be called out and the band was escorted to the buses. They ended the game early because of this. I think some of the players were injured during the fights. Not sure exactly what all happened right now. When my DD gets home I will find out more details on it. I am sure it was the talk of school today.

[SaralovesMike]

What happened to good sportsmanship??? That's terrible what happened but at least your daughter is AOK!

Sucks having a cold! Try some hot tea with some whiskey and honey in it.
There's something else my Russian friend told me about something with vodka, jam and something else. I'll have to ask her and let you know, it works wonders!
Hope you feel better soon!

[hummingbird521]

The house is quiet right now. Everyone except myself and my DD are gone to the last soccer games of the year. They are having a cookout afterwards as well. But my cold has now turned into a sinus infection and I just didn't feel like going. Not to mention it is about 35 degrees outside. In order for me to go money would have to be involved. haha.

Don't have any particular plans for the weekend. I am sure everyone will go to church tomorrow and hopefully I will feel well enough to go as well. But right now I don't foresee this happening. I will more than likely hang out at home and in bed. I never thought I would say this but I am sick of the bed.

We have started letting our cat Merlin go outside whenever he wants now after biting Jerry the other night. He seems to be a much happier cat. I was worried with him being declawed this would be a problem. but heck he seems to like it more.

Has anyone ever applied for a government grant? we are considering this for home improvements. We would like to make the house more energy efficient and upgrade it for winter. If not this one the next.

I found out more about the ballgame the other night. From what I have gathered one of our players suffered a broken rib. Also found out that the other teams coachs even beat up some of our boys. Gave one a black eye as well. They were also overheard from some of our teachers as having told their boys what a good job they done and that they will suffer no punishment for starting the fights. They were told to do so. I can't believe this kind of thing is allowed. It just puzzles my mind.

[hummingbird521]

Another quiet morning at home. My DD and I opted to stay home from church today. She is cramping and I don't want to blow my dern nose every two minutes during service or sit with my mouth hanging open to breath. :) My head is better but I took my last sinus caplet today. They were prescription with no refills too.

we done nothing of importance around here yesterday. My DD and I cleaned house yesterday morning while everyone was at the soccer game. My DH finally got around to cleaning out the tent and storing it away for winter. Then he played almost all afternoon on the trampoline with his son. He is paying for it today with his back hurting. DH's ex wife finally took their daughter to the eye doctor yesterday evening. she does need glasses. She is very near sighted. She should get them in about 3 weeks. Funny too, the ex used the insurance card i had gotten the kids, after she fussed about me applying for it. makes me wonder if she lied about having her insurance at all. But oh well, at least my SD has now been taken to the doctor and that is what matters most.

The stress with money issues is causing my DH and I problems. We seem to be growing distant from each other. I am sure part of this is my depression as well. He was extremely snappy and crabby with my DD this weekend. Which in turn upset me a lot. I am no crabbier with his kids now with the money issues. I am not going into detail about what happened but sufice it to say that we are having a talk about how we need to be equally the same when it comes to disciplining the children. My DD deserved to get into trouble but so did my stepson too. I only hope we can resolve this matter soon. It also does not help our relationship that we have not had any close time to speak of. I have been so sick that we don't even cuddle anymore. What with the hot flashes I don't even roll over onto his side of the bed at night since he has about 5 blankets piled on him. That sucks. I miss laying my head on his shoulder and cuddling, but I would roast if I do this now.

I had planned on looking for temp work this next week but am unable to do so now. I don't have enough gas in the truck to drive to town. And no money to put any in either. I have applied for some online but haven't heard anything from them. Walmart has a hiring freeze going on now and I was hoping to get temp holiday work from them.

I am just at a loss as to what to do anymore. Same stuff all the time only different days. I know I am whining but I haven't been to happy lately and just don't know what to do.

[hummingbird521]

We got quite a bit accomplished around here yesterday. While everyone was at church I finally got around to packing up my summer clothes and DH's as well and unpacking my winter things. This took a while for us both to do. Then we started making piles of clothes and what not for a yard sale I have been hoping to have since getting married. I now have a good start on this project as well. I have to get into the laundry/storage room and get going on organizing this room as well. so much junk and some good stuff to get rid of. We spent most of the day getting our closets cleaned out and the kids all cleaned their rooms up as well.

DH was upset and crabby again yesterday evening. I know he is stressed and he was upset too that we took so long on the bedroom that he missed the majority of the races on tv. While I like watching them too it felt good to get something accomplished that I had been wanting to do.

I didn't sleep well last night due to stress I am sure. DH didn't sleep well either. While i was laying there awake he was having a nightmare that I woke him from. He tried telling me it was a good dream, but I could tell it wasn't.

[Goin2thechapel]

We got quite a bit accomplished around here yesterday. While everyone was at church I finally got around to packing up my summer clothes and DH's as well and unpacking my winter things. This took a while for us both to do. Then we started making piles of clothes and what not for a yard sale I have been hoping to have since getting married. I now have a good start on this project as well. I have to get into the laundry/storage room and get going on organizing this room as well. so much junk and some good stuff to get rid of. We spent most of the day getting our closets cleaned out and the kids all cleaned their rooms up as well.

DH was upset and crabby again yesterday evening. I know he is stressed and he was upset too that we took so long on the bedroom that he missed the majority of the races on tv. While I like watching them too it felt good to get something accomplished that I had been wanting to do.

I didn't sleep well last night due to stress I am sure. DH didn't sleep well either. While i was laying there awake he was having a nightmare that I woke him from. He tried telling me it was a good dream, but I could tell it wasn't.

Treasia,
Hope your feeling better. It def. helps to get things accomplished too. And don't you just love guys that try to play off nightmares like it was nothing..LOL...Wonder what it was about?

[hummingbird521]

I am alive and kicking. I feel so much better. Almost back to being me again. Gee I almost forgot what that is like. :)

We had a nice night around here last night. I had a hot date. Yes, I said "hot date". With my DD. We watch together every year the CMA awards and was not going to miss it this year as well. I did miss watching it together with my sister, mom and dad though. We always make a big family night of it together. But my sister called me from mom and dads and reminded me it was on as the show was starting. I told her briefly how we both wished we were there watching it. We both got kinda sentimental and had to hang up. lol. Funny how something as small as this would make you feel all mushy inside. We watched the full 3 hours of it together. My DD is I believe Carrie Underwood's biggest fan and she was so happy she won two awards. She was beaming the whole night through. she was upset by the fact that earlier in the evening she was suspended from the carrie forum site for 10 days. this upset her that she was unable to get on after the show and post her thoughts and such. but I believe she has now learned her lesson about who she can pi$$ off on the forum. While I was upset for her it is a lesson learned. We had a good laugh when Trisha Yearwood came onto the screen. I know it is wrong to make fun of people but she looked horrible. I told my daughter she must not have access to a full length mirror anymore. Her dress was terrible and one of her boobs looked like it was hanging way lower than the other one. '

Today I need to get motivated and get more organizing done around here. Just can't seem to get motivated today though. Maybe it is because I slept in this morning. I actually got a full night of rest. And let me tell you it feels great. I didn't have to get up and see the kids off to school since they are at their mothers house. My DD is old enough to get herself up and dressed. she did come in and tell me goodbye.

I think I might surprise my DH and make him a pecan pie today. I have never made him one and it is his favorite kind.

[BriansBride07]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_75.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSzim029YYUS) So glad that you are on the road to recovery. Wow what in the world did you DD say on that forum that would get her suspended for 10 days that sounds kinda harsh. OH well glad to hear that your spirts are starting to lift and the sinus problem is going away.





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb098&pp=ZSzim029YYUS (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb098_ZSzim029YYUS&utm_id=7926)

[hummingbird521]

Wow what in the world did you DD say on that forum that would get her suspended for 10 days that sounds kinda harsh.

From some of her posts I read she didn't say much of anything at all. They have a new moderator there and this person seems to be attacking everyone. My DD said she "needed to get a life", but so did several of the other persons there as well and they were not suspended. This site seems to be mostly young teenagers as well and the mods are teenagers too. But while it seemed a little much for me as far as the suspension goes she will now be more considerate and watch her words. At first they banned her from the site. I contacted the administator and asked for suspension only seeing as she has been on there since day one.

[BriansBride07]

That's to bad. Sounds like some of the mod's have their favorites and apparently she was not one of them.

[hummingbird521]

Ever heard the expression "my behinds dragging"? That is how I feel right now. I have worked on organizing the laundry/storage room all day. But I made great headway with it. Now if i can just get my DH to go through the boxes I put aside for him to decide if it's keepers or not I can finish. He doesn't know however that I decided a lot of it for him earlier today. He is the worldest worst pack rat for ****. Hopefully he won't go through the trash bin outside and decide to bring stuff back in. He has done this before. If so then I am burning it in a small ceremony tomorrow. :) Why would anyone in their right mind still want clothes from high school that is about 20 years old??? Needless to say I have had another very productive day around here.

We went and voted earlier as well. I am surprised they let me. I had sent off forms over 2 months ago and not gotten anything in return from them. So I wasn't sure they would let me. But they called and I was registered. It felt good to go and vote with my husband. I know that might sound corny, but all of my ex's never even voted.

[hummingbird521]

Great news today. I just heard from my online application I put in for Wal-mart temporary seasonal work. They scheduled me for an interview on Friday and have already checked my references out. Basically he said all they have to do is talk to me and send me for my drug screening and will more than likely put me to work the next day. YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though not a glamorous job by any means it is something temporary for through the holidays to really help us out for now. And would work great especially if I can get into the January classes for LPN. If not into classes the man told me they would (depending on my work) offer it to me after the holidays. So we shall see. I wish I could call my DH and let him know about it. He too will be much relieved. Now maybe I can actually look forward to the holidays and plan on some things. Not to mention have it less stressful here at home on the bills and things. :)

So far today I haven't done doodly squat. Lazy day for me. I need to get in the laundry/storage room and try to get more done in there. But I am kinda at a stand still till DH goes through the things I need him to look at. God I hope like heck he throws most of it away.

[Valmai]

Congratulations and good luck with the interview - the money is always handy and it helps get u out of the house innit (otherwise u may throw more of his things out lol) i used to be the same as him but i lost everything and now realise that i didnt actually NEED them anyways! xxx

[BriansBride07]

Congrats and I wish you all the best of your interview.

[hummingbird521]

I just got the test results back a few minutes ago for the LPN classes. I scored 2% to low on it. I had to have a minimum score of 60% and mine is a 58% score. I tried calling the school to see if I am reading it correctly or not and the woman I was to talk to is out till tomorrow. But I am pretty sure I am reading it correctly. So another words I can't start in January. I have the option to take both tests over again and try to get into the August classes for next year though. I am trying not to get to bummed out about it but it is hard. Maybe it just isn't meant for me to go to school this late in life. I have always been a believer that if it was meant to be it would happen the first time around. And I must admit my DH and I talked about it after taking the test and the stress level is so great for me right now that I don't know if I could handle school at this time in my life. Quiet honestly with menopause and normal stress I don't know how well I would have done. So maybe this is God's way of telling me NO on that. I will remain optimistic and see what happens and how things go from here about it. I am thankful that I have something to look forward to with the job interview I just lined up. This will keep me going and help me start to believe that things will get better for us now.

[hummingbird521]

Congratulations and good luck with the interview - the money is always handy and it helps get u out of the house innit (otherwise u may throw more of his things out lol) i used to be the same as him but i lost everything and now realise that i didnt actually NEED them anyways! xxx

You know I used to be the same way, I kept everything. Then after loosing most of all my personal belongings and stuff to my ex and moving into a small apt. I learned that memories are in your head and not on your objects. I hope I can get this through DH's head as well. lol

[Valmai]

Thats exactly what happened to me - it just puts it all in perspective dont it - he could destroy all my material possessions but he'll never destroy me or my memories! Good luck with the job xxx

[BriansBride07]

You can always take it again from what i've heard it is a diffucult test to be taking maybe if you take it again in a different time in your life, like when you not so stressed it may be a different result. Just think good thoughts they come to those who wait. Best of luck to you.

[hummingbird521]

You can always take it again from what i've heard it is a diffucult test to be taking maybe if you take it again in a different time in your life, like when you not so stressed it may be a different result. Just think good thoughts they come to those who wait. Best of luck to you.

Thanks. Maybe when I am not so stressed out I will see what happens then. I do have that apt. next week at the doctor to see about doing something for my stress level. who knows what the future will hold for me next year.

[StaceyMc]

(((Treasia))) Sorry to hear about your test. Maybe this wasn't the right time, but next August might be.

I'm a packrat too, so I can't say anything about your husband. I'm tossing things now though, or else, Joe can't move in.

[hummingbird521]

Well DH came home at the usual time. I asked him if he wanted the good news first or the bad news. he said "you mean there is both". So I told him about my upcoming interview and about my test results. he took it as I expected him too. All supportive and all. Saying "we" can try again next year if I want to. Well I don't want too. At least this is my feelings now anyway. In fact I am just pretty darn pissed at the world right now. And what does DH do??? He takes the group to church. Just once I would like for him to blow that off and stay home with me when I don't want to go. Maybe this is selfish, but it is only for supper and children's activities. Not like a sunday school lesson or anything. He asked me why didn't I want to come too? I want to stay home and get drunk and wallow in self pity that's why. I am having a bottle (not glass) of wine. I have been saving it for 5 years now and now is as good a time as any. Before we got married he would have drove the one and half hours drive to be with me tonight. Now that I am here he blows me off for church activities. :hothead: I am placed on the back burner till later. I guess I am just venting right now. I am so angry with myself I could scream. and no I haven't had but two sips of wine so that isn't my problem. I am angry at myself for moving here when I did and getting married when I did. i wish we would have waited till I had found a job I enjoyed and liked that was like my old one before doing so. But I can't change it now. Don't get me wrong I am glad we are married. I love him and wouldn't change that for the world. Just mad because we didn't plan it better for both of us. I am tired of struggling from week to week to even buy groceries. I am glad i have the interview at walmart though. It just kills my ego to know I quit a legal secretary job for freaking walmart.

[Goin2thechapel]

Treasia

You need a big hug sweetie!! I'm sorry that your husband is kinda neglecting you tonight for church. I hurts when you need someone there and they're not, go ahead and drink the wine, but when I drink when I'm sad, I get sadder! Something to think about...


If you want, Meet me in the Chat! :)

[hummingbird521]

I had one of the worst nights I can remember having in a long time last night. I can't wait to go see my doctor and get something for my depression. I know I said I was going to drink my supper, but I didn't. In fact I only had less than 1/2 glass of wine. Today I am trying to look on the positive side of things and not be so gloomy. I made a list of all the reasons I fell in love with my DH and emailed it to him. He is my rock and only tries to make me feel better and in turn I feel like I make him feel awful about things. I have done some thinking and the man must love me dearly to put up with the moods I have been in. I need to show him how I feel and get out of this funk I am in. I know it will help me if I get the job I interview for tomorrow. I have never been a homebody and it will be a great help to get out into the world and know that I am contributing with money. I need people in my life other than the few at home. I need to be a productive member of society. I know not passing the test was not the end of the world, but it only further enhanced my depression. I need to decide and do something to make me feel better about myself and life in general. I know it is wrong to wish I could turn back the clock and nothing I can do about it now. So I must move forward and learn from this and do things differently. I have to get a life again.

[hummingbird521]

Yesterday was a much better day for me. Or should I say last night was a much better night. My DH surprised us all when he came home and announced he was taking all of us out to supper. At first I didn't want to go and he insisted we go and that I would have a good time. He was right too!!!! It did me a world of good to get out of this house. I relaxed and enjoyed myself immensly. We ate at the chinese place we had ate at on our honeymoon (right after the wedding). My stepson normally hates chinese and throws a fit about going but this time he decided he would be good and ate like a little pig. We made a night of it. After supper we went to wal-mart to get my son a birthday card and done a little shopping. We stayed in there for over 2 hours just piddling around. We looked at christmas decorations and decided since neither of us have a tree topper that before putting up our tree we want to buy together our first angel. At some point we all kinda went our separate ways for awhile. I looked around getting ideas for christmas presents and apparantly so did DH. He came to me later on and said he had found something he thought I would like. I had not seen him out of automotive or toys so I asked him if I was getting a set of wrenches. He laughed and said no. We splurged and bought the furbabies some toys and treats. I have never seen a cat on catnip and that was cute. After returning home and getting the kids to bed we sat up on the comuter for over an hour together. DH had joined a nascar forum. He wasn't sure how to do much of anything on the site and needed help learning how to post pics and whatnot. I enjoyed doing this together. We had not had this time like this in a long time. It was much later than usual before going to bed, but was worth it for the time we had as a family and the alone time we had as well. I can't remember a more enjoyable time shared in a long time. :)

Today is the day of my interview and I am so looking forward to it. Afterwards I am going to go grocery shopping and spend some more time outside of this house. It always makes me feel better but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it lately. But after last night I am making myself do so.

DH left me an email this morning telling me how much he loves me and that he had a wonderful time last night as well. Said he was looking forward to coming home today and spending time with me tonight. And to stay positive that I will get the job and our outlook on life will change. I love this man.

[BriansBride07]

:pompom: :pompom: On having a wonderful night last night with your DH. You need to get out more if it makes you feel that well. You need to make yourself do it more often. All the best to you today on your interview knock them dead and land that job. :)

[hummingbird521]

My days are looking better. Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went for my job interview yesterday and it was the longest one I have ever had. But a very good one. They didn't tell me that depending on how I answered the questions was how they would base my pay if offered the position. well they did offer it to me. I accepted it. They even told me that based on how I had answered everything that I had a very promising future there and quite possibly in management. this made me feel so much better. Not sure when I will start though. They are waiting on my background check to come back and I had to go and take the drug test. So all I am waiting on is the results to come back and them to call me. I am planning on enjoying my last weekend home with family. I will be working most weekdays the evening shift till 11 pm and on weekends during the day. I found out it is not temporary seasonal as I thought, but only temporary and then more than likely offered to me permanently depending on job performance. So I am going to see how I like it and when the time comes possibly take it. I also will be working 40 hours a week again. This gave me a whole new outlook on things.

We had a very nice night around here. After receiving the good news about work I rented a movie my DH has been wanting to see for a while. He loves the X Men comic and movies so I rented the latest for him. It was OK if you liek that sort of thing.

[SerendipityCrafts]

They even told me that based on how I had answered everything that I had a very promising future there and quite possibly in management.

Awww I bet that was good to hear! Getting out will do you some and extra $$$ is always a good thing :)

BTW - I just had my annual with my dr. I mentioned my "blues" of late and she mentioned that it might be menopause starting to rear it's ugly head. I know you are about the same age as me and menopause isn't something we want to think about yet but I guess it's something we have to consider :(

[hummingbird521]

BTW - I just had my annual with my dr. I mentioned my "blues" of late and she mentioned that it might be menopause starting to rear it's ugly head. I know you are about the same age as me and menopause isn't something we want to think about yet but I guess it's something we have to consider :(

I know I have been experiencing this for some time. Although the blood work all shows my hormones to be in the normal range, I know better. When I go to my appt. this week I am asking the doctor about it again. I hope your menopause symtoms are better than mine ever thought about being. lol. I wouldn't wish mine on my worst enemy (well maybe so them). :)

[SerendipityCrafts]

I hope your menopause symtoms are better than mine ever thought about being. lol. I wouldn't wish mine on my worst enemy (well maybe so them). :)

Not having any yet *knock on wood* ... the dr. just thought my mood could be attributed to it starting. My mantra - "I don't believe in PMS because I reserve the right to be biatchy at any time of the month!"

[BriansBride07]

So glad to hear that the interview went so well. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you get it. It will hopefully take away some more blues

[Valmai]

hey Well done!!!! So glad things seem to be loking up for you - you certainly seem more positive and happier - lucky u @ meal!! tc xxx

[hummingbird521]

We had a nice weekend here at home. As I said friday night we stayed in and watched a rental movie and snuggled in bed. Saturday we got to sleep in for the first time in weeks. Gosh it was nice not to have to get up and jump straight out of bed for ball games. Just to be able to wake at a leisurely pace to start your day. The kids were at their mothers and this gave us some much needed time to do things around here. The three of us (DH, DD and myself) spent the majority of the day finishing cleaning and organizing the laundry/storage room. DH done most of it for me. It was so dusty my allergies was acting up badly. But we got it done and now all that is left is to price things for the yard sale. it was actually nice to walk into that room over the weekend to do laundry and not trip over things piled every which a way.

After this we watched tv and ate supper out again. which was another nice treat for us. Nothing fancy or anything just at the local burger place. Sunday we attended church. I didn't realize how much I had missed my friends from there. They were all so happy to see me back. When I start work I won't be able to attend for awhile and know I will miss going again. We have a lot of activities lined up for the holidays at church as well.

I am starting to get really excited about the holidays coming up. I have now decided to plan christmas on the day of as far as cooking the big meal. I know I will probably be working on the eve so this is the day we all have left. I only hope the kids will be here that day. I sent my son a birthday card and asked him if they were coming. I certainly hope so. We actually finally started talking about decorating as well and talked of some ideas to get the kids gifts. Now I can say I am glad they are coming around. Meaning the holidays. Not the kids. lol.

I am waiting on walmart to call me now. They were waiting on the background check and the drug screening to come back. So I should be goign to work one day this week. I am actually looking forward to it. Not to the hours really. I am more of a night person and that will be good for me. But I know this will also cut down on my time with the family. But the way I look at it I will be happier for the family to be around. :)

[hummingbird521]

I just got a call from walmart this morning and I go in for orientation on Friday of this week. This is great news for us. While I am trying to be excited about it I also woke up again this morning with another sinus infection. so I have two days in which to get well. Thankfully I have that doctor's appt tomorrow. I am going to see if he can give me a shot to really kick in the antibiotics. Another words a "jump start".

[Valmai]

Whayy thats great - it must really put ur mind at rest financially, now u get to deal with all those wonderful christmas shoppers lol I worked in a supermarket a few years back and it still influences how i shop now! Sorry ur not too well though - spoil urself tomorrow and good luck at Drs. xxx

[Kacie_bride]

I just got a call from walmart this morning and I go in for orientation on Friday of this week. This is great news for us. While I am trying to be excited about it I also woke up again this morning with another sinus infection. so I have two days in which to get well. Thankfully I have that doctor's appt tomorrow. I am going to see if he can give me a shot to really kick in the antibiotics. Another words a "jump start".

I hope you get to feeling better!!!

[BriansBride07]

Cheers to you for landing the job I am so excited for you. I hope your Doctors appt. goes well tommorow and he can help ya out with your moods and your sinus infection. Yeah things are looking up.

[Jenn060306]

Congrats on the job! That will be great to keep you busy and bring in a couple extra dollars for Christmas!

[hummingbird521]

I just got back from the doctor and he loaded me up on medicine. He changed my BP medicine since he said the other didn't seem to be working very good anymore. Thankfully as well the new one only costs about $5.00 a month compared to the other which cost me $80.00 monthly. He also placed me on an antibiotic for the sinus infection and is hoping I can take it since I seem to be allergic to so many of them. He gave me a anti-depressent to start taking tonight which he said should also help me sleep and would help with the hot flashes as well. He also thinks I have a staph infection because I seem to get boils so often. He is going to run some tests to see about that. I am supposed to take my blood pressure daily now for a month to make sure this new medicine is going to work. Gosh i sure hope so since it is so much cheaper.

I am somewhat scared and excited all at the same time about starting a new job. :bbeek: I have been trying to remind myself that things will be looking up for me and Dh now that I am going to be working. I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the holidays now.

We decided to have a very small get together for thanksgiving. It will be the five of us and DH's brother and sister in law. While they are most definetly not my fav people to be around we figured we would get them over with and not have to worry about what they do at Christmas that way. Shame on us for this, but they have no where to go. But she is such a loud mouth and immature as well that no one likes to be around her. He is about my age and married to a girl who is only 21. My DD is more mature than her. Oh well at least they are cooking a large part of the dinner. So this will take some of the stress off of me and DH about cooking.

[Kacie_bride]

Good luck on your new job tomorrow! I know you will do just fine!

[ladymelissa]

Congrats on the job!!! I hope you feel better!

[BriansBride07]

Yeah you start your job tommorow. I'm so happy for you!!
glad the doctor is trying some other med's for you to try and see if that will help i'm sure it will. Best of luck to you.

[MOB Karen]

Congrats on the new job, Treasia!!! Best of luck to you!!! :)

[hummingbird521]

The last couple of days as went pretty well at the new job. Basically all I have done there so far is sit at a computer and read and take tests. I got finished today and came home about 40 minutes early. I only had to work 1/2 day today. I go back again on monday and work my regular schedule. Which is week nights on second shift and weekends days. But the way it works out I will be home at night for four nights and have (of course) two complete days off of work each week. So all in all not bad so far. It felt really good to get out of the house and feel useful as well. I am in a much better mood now. The medicine has not kicked in I am sure cause I have only taken it for 3 nights now. Has to be just getting out and not stressing so much now. The only bummer I had when I seen my schedule is that I thought they were closed on Thanksgiving day and they are not. So I have to work that afternoon on second shift. That means we are having dinner at lunchtime that day. Which also means I have a lot to do in a short time that day. I am going to try and prepare the pies the day before and DH is helping me cook a whole lot of it. He said naturally he will help. And to me this doesn't mean standing around the kitchen watching me do it. :bblol: He is having hands on as much as he can get.

On another note our football team lost the game last night which means they are out of the state finals. They won their conference division but as said lost this one. They did not even act as if they wanted to play. My DD heard a lot of the players at school yesterday saying they didn't care if they won or not because all they have on their minds is going deer hunting and football was getting in the way of it. Kids, what can you do???

I don't think my new bp medicine is working very well. I checked it a little bit ago and it is high. So I will check it later and see. I am supposed to do this daily for a month and then go back. Hopefully it is just taking a while to kick in.

[hummingbird521]

Right now I am having a peaceful Sunday morning at the computer. One of my favorite things to do. We all decided to stay home from church this morning and just lounge around the house today. I can't tell everyone how much better I am feeling about myself and life in general. things are looking up for us and myself mostly. We did decide to have our phone and internet service discontinued for now to help put our money where it is needed more at the moment. I hate to see it go and know that I will go through some major withdrawals but will live without it. :bbeek: You ladies don't know how much I will miss your company for this length of time. I have come to think of a lot of you as my friends and hope you have done the same. I will send out my christmas ornament this next weekend as I had planned. And I will be back as soon as humanly possible.

As said my outlook on life is much better. I am looking forward to the holidays now with much anticipation. We are going to put up our christmas tree in a week or so depending on my work schedule. While this christmas will be slim as far as spending goes what matters most is having my family around me.

Jerry and I have been much closer in the last few days than we have been in months. He is so happy to see me smiling again and being more like myself. I have even laughed out loud lately. haha. Never again will I not work if that is possible for me to keep this job and never again will I go off my medication. It is not worth it to do without and make me miserable and everyone around me as well.

To all of you that are getting married while I am gone "thank you for letting me share in your dreams" and for all of you that I have come to think as friends "may your holidays be filled with much happiness in the next few months".

[mariaandmanish]

Treasia, I am so glad for you that you're feeling so much happier and full of hope and joy for your future. I wish you a holiday season filled with joy and wonderful things! Enjoy your new happiness, and closeness with your husband. We will miss you here on OneWed and will anxiously await your return! Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year, as well!!!

[ladymelissa]

You sound so happy! I am going to miss you very much, I really hope you will be back soon! In the meantime take care and I hope the holidays are very happy for you and your family.

[hummingbird521]

Well I still have the internet at the moment so I thought I would update my journal. Last night was the first night I actually got to work and not sit at a computer taking tests. I enjoyed it a lot. My feet and neck muscles are very sore this morning, but it is the best sore I have had in a long time. :) While I am supposed to be in the lingerie, sock department they placed me as cashier to train last night. They told me that I was a quick learner and asked how I liked it. I told them I liked it well enough to ask them if I could be left in that department. They wanted to know if I was crazy? I told them no I just liked to stay busy and the time went faster. so she is going to check with the human resources dept this morning to see if I can remain as a cashier. I hope so because the time flew by. I also had another surprise last night. Instead of the usual 30 minutes for lunch they have upped it to an hour. Plus your two 15 min breaks. So this made it ever nicer. All in all I enjoyed it very much. When I got home I figured I would be to keyed up to sleep for a while considering that is always what has happened in the past. But was I wrong. I immediatly fell into bed and had one the best nights of sleep I have had in months. Jerry woke up briefly and we talked a while. This morning he didn't even remember it. haha. I woke long enough to talk to my DD this morning and went right back to bed. I didn't wake till 10:30 am. I work again tonight the same shift and will wear much more comfortable shoes this go around.

Other news, jerry's ex came by the house last night to pick up some things for the kids. She was to have them last night and tonight. Anyway she asked him if she could have them all week. She didn't have them last Thanksgiving and wanted them this year. He told her that was fine. I understand this and am not upset about it much. The only thing that upsets me about it is that if we had known this I could have planned Thanksgiving at my parents and not have had to do all this cooking and spent time with my family. It is not that my family didn't invite the kids only that the kids are so misbehaved that I knew I would not be able to visit with them the way I would like. Now we have already invited DH's brother and his wife over and can't go to my parents. oh well....................we are at christmas regardless.

[BriansBride07]

Congrats i'm so happy that the job is going well so far.. Best of luck to you on landing the cashier job. Argh i hate when people change plans at the last min. it's so annoying... Oh well I hope you enjoy your small little dinner w/out all the kids who knows maybe it will go well...

[Jenn060306]

I'm glad you are enjoying your new job. I loved it when i was a cashier. It was great when it was busy. It's kinda crummy when it is slow cause there is only so much you can do to keep entertained. But at this time of year, you'll be very busy! I hope you're feet feel better tonight!

[hummingbird521]

last night at work was very hard for me. I was placed out onto the sales floor almost the entire time. I only got to check about 2 hours. I did however find out they are definetly moving me to cashier in the next couple of days. Thank God for this. I didn't like being out on the sales floor at all. To me it was much harder than checking. I am not used to walking that many miles. yes I said miles here. :bbeek: I don't own a comfortable pair of shoes at all. hehe. Lots of people came up to me last night and asked me why in the world I would want to cashier when I could stay a sales associate? I finally just asked them what the heck reason would i not want to do this. Everyone said it is much harder. I told them to me it wasn't at all. When I finally got home from work most of the house lights were on. I figured everyone had fallen asleep with them on. Got inside the house and walked through the kitchen and smelled something cooking. I walked into our bedroom to crash and there sat my DD and DH waiting up for me. It was close to midnight at this point. They have missed me and regardless of the time waited up for me to visit before bed. My DH had broiled me a steak for supper. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had eaten a huge chicken ceasar salad at work, so I ate the steak and was so full.....................I thought i would explode. After telling my DD goodnight we crawled into bed. We lay there talking for awhile, amongst other things. :bbredface: He told me how much he has missed me the last couple of nights and that he missed me being home when he came in from work. He said he didn't realize this would be so hard on him for me to work the second shift. But we will be better for it. It felt good to hear him say how much he missed me. I think we have grown much closer now and not taking for granted like before. I have today off and can't wait for him to get home from work so that later we can go shopping for our meal preparations for tomorrow.

[ladymelissa]

That was so sweet of them to cook dinner for you!

I would probably rather be a cashier than a sales associate, too. Cashiers are pretty much always busy and get to stand on the little fatigue mats and then lean on the counter if they aren't busy.

[hummingbird521]

Well I still have the internet for now so I thought I would update here. Although I just did and it ate my post. :hothead: The last few days I have been working my patootie off. My feet have never hurt so bad in all my life. We had a very nice thanksgiving even though I had to go in and work that night. I have been running on empty lately. I worked till 10 pm on friday night and had to get up at 5 am the next morning to return. That sucked big time. So by the time I got in on saturday afternoon my feet were throbbing like a tooth ache and I fell asleep on the couch and slept for 3 hours. Got up and crawled my way into bed and slept the night through. As well as I could sleep at that point anyway. Our neighbor decided around 10 pm to build new porch steps. So I had to lay there and listen to electric saws and him hammering away for over two hours. It was midnight before he finally got done. :hothead: After work yesterday I didn't feel as bad and actually got to spend some time with my DH and DD. We snuggled up on the bed and watched tv together. I enjoyed this so much. I have missed them both a lot and they have missed me as well. I go into work at 3 pm today. I have been having to work the sales floor all weekend but tonight they are supposed to be moving me to cashier. This will be so much easier on me. At least I get to stand in one spot on a thick comfy mat and not walk a freaking marathon nightly. :)

[hummingbird521]

Well I still have the internet for now so I thought I would update here. Although I just did and it ate my post. :hothead: The last few days I have been working my patootie off. My feet have never hurt so bad in all my life. We had a very nice thanksgiving even though I had to go in and work that night. I have been running on empty lately. I worked till 10 pm on friday night and had to get up at 5 am the next morning to return. That sucked big time. So by the time I got in on saturday afternoon my feet were throbbing like a tooth ache and I fell asleep on the couch and slept for 3 hours. Got up and crawled my way into bed and slept the night through. As well as I could sleep at that point anyway. Our neighbor decided around 10 pm to build new porch steps. So I had to lay there and listen to electric saws and him hammering away for over two hours. It was midnight before he finally got done. :hothead: After work yesterday I didn't feel as bad and actually got to spend some time with my DH and DD. We snuggled up on the bed and watched tv together. I enjoyed this so much. I have missed them both a lot and they have missed me as well. I go into work at 3 pm today. I have been having to work the sales floor all weekend but tonight they are supposed to be moving me to cashier. This will be so much easier on me. At least I get to stand in one spot on a thick comfy mat and not walk a freaking marathon nightly. :)

[BriansBride07]

So glad that you are still here at least for the time being.. So sorry that your feet hurt. You really need to get some comfy sneakers and that should help. Or try some inserts that have some support in them. At least that is cheaper than sneakers for now.. Glad that your Thanksgiving went so well. I hope that you remain on cashier, I have to agree it is alot better. Best of luck to you.

[countrygirl]

Hey Tresia, just thought I would say hello my friend. I am not able to get on much at work, and prob wont be able to do much until Jan. We are planning on getting a comp at home then, and I can email more at night.

Anyway, I miss chatting w ya girl!!!

[hummingbird521]

Thanks girls. Sorry I posted twice but it ate my first post, or so I thought. I didn't know if I was getting disconnected or onewed was having problems.

[Kacie_bride]

I feel for you. I worked retail for several years so I know about the long hours during the holidays. Just hang in there!!!

[ladymelissa]

Yay! I am glad you got to have some family time.

Yay! I am glad you get to be a cashier, those fatigue mats will help tremendously! Take care!

[mariaandmanish]

I'm so glad that you found some time to spend with your family! GOod luck with the cashier position, and make sure you get something comfy for your feet!

[hummingbird521]

I am taking a break from christmas decorating right now. It is very fun but so darn tiring to me. What a mess this house is right now. We got the one in the living room done last night. It's beautiful. I wish I had a camera to take some pics and post, maybe my sister will visit soon and bring her camera. So let me tell you what it looks like instead for now. It is 6 1/2 feet tall and full. I covered it half and half with multi colored twinkle lights that play carols and some that do not twinkle. It has red poinsettas all over it and red glass balls. White lace for the garland and a huge red bow for the topper. I just finished the one in the dining room. It is 6 feet tall. I decided to do it all in gold. It has clear solid lights with gold rope garland. I didn't quite have enough of the rope garland to completely fill the tree like I wanted to so I found a huge bag of Mardi gras beads. I took the gold ones and cut them in half and strung them through it. I also had some of those glittery spiral sticks and placed them in it. It turned out wonderful and so pretty. Oh yeah it is topped with a homemade white lace and gold angel that DH's grandmother made years ago. I got the fireplace decorated along with the wall above it. I hung a poinsetta swag over it with sconces with poinsetta and green candles. I made those myself with poinsetta I had from years past. I placed our santa collection on the mantel with a large poinsetta in the middle of it. Sparodically placing large pinecones painted with gold glitter along it as well. Of course hung all of our stockings in front of it. On either side of the fireplace I placed matching baskets with very pretty red bows on the handles and each is filled with pine cones. We also have a 5 ft tall santa that is mechanical and dances and plays music and talks. He is on one side of the fire place. Each time you walk in front of him he starts playing and singing music. Needless to say last night after going to bed we forgot about the cats walking in front of him. I got the scare of my life when this happened and had to get up and turn santa off. So anyway this is what I have accomplished thus far. I still have the tree in the foyer to put up and decorate. The kids will decorate the 4 ft tree upstairs tonight. I also still have to finish deciding where to put all the other decoration around the house. Hang the wreaths on the doors and such. But I am finally getting into the spirit of the holidays'.

I have decided to stay in the position of sales associate. My dept manager and the store manager pulled me aside the last night I worked and practically begged me too. They all but promised me I had a better future in that position and chance for moving up the ladder. And getting hired on permanently. Once in cashier position they don't advance you much and you are pretty well stuck there. My feet are better and I have to admit I am starting to like it more. Everyone in that dept. is so friendly and they have all bragged on the way the dept looks now. So I think it would be in my best interests to stay there.