Custody Update...a long one

[countrygirl]

K, so for those of you who know (and don't know) that Josh went to mediation yesterday to get custody of his kids, there is the scoop.

Last Oct, she took J back to court to raise the child support because she was in school (so she said) and couldn't work full time. So the judge raised it and gave her two years to finish or the added support will be reimbursed by her. She was also ordered to give J the proof that she was in school.

She has been collecting child support(as she should) and part of that is to go towards childcare. She is also on state assistance, which pays for the childcare. She is not currently paying for child support, which she admitted to the judge, and the judge told her that she WILL provide the court reciepts to prove she has been, or the support will be lowered. She conveniently quit school (while still collecting extra support) and has so show proof of the date so the support can be lowered for that too. She stated that she can't afford much for the kids because she is on a limited income. Ok, she works full time, her boyfriend works full time, she collects state assistance, and doesn't pay for childcare. Hmmmmmm.

She said that she is now getting married (which I know is just a try to look stable for the kids--didn't work). The judge told her that she has a bad track record w boyfriends. She has had several and two live-in's in the past two years. That's good for the kids.

She didn't deny the things that Josh accused her of, and told te judge that she called CPS on Josh for kicking the youngest in the face. We were wrestling around w the kids, and the little one got a bruise from it. He would never do anything like that.

The judge set the hearing date next month. The plus side, it usually takes 3-4 months before you have a hearing. We will be there in 1 month.

And to top it off, she had a lice prob in her house, and tried to tell Josh that isn't coming from our house because we don't keep the house clean enough. Ok, even on dirty days it's clean. She told the girls they arn't allowed to use my brush because they got it from sharing my brush. Alright, explain to me why the rest of us DONT and have never had lice. She acutally told him too that maybe it's coming from our dog, and that she has had to bomp her house every week for the past month because of it. The kids hadnt been there for three weeks. Anyway. She chopped the girls hair so short that from behind they look like little boys. She said the infestation was bad in the long part of thier hair. Well, it doesn't live there moron. Our wedding is four months away, and the girls have been talking about how they want to have thier hair curled for it. Guess she fixed that one.

UGGGGGGG

[cowboysbride]

Heather this sounds pretty good for you and J...hold on tight to your faith and Eric and I will pray for you and keep you in our thoughts until this nightmare is over.

As for the hair, how dang petty and childish can she be OMG sounds like the witch cut it just to spite you, poor kids, they are soo the victims here. Well I know you and J will do whatever has to be done and you know I am here for you!

This will work out, God watches over his children!

In the meantime Heather...geesh clean your house you filthy animal (JUST JOKING, HOPED TO MAKE YOU SMILE)!

Luv, ya!

[CindySue]

Sorry, Heather. But it does sound like things are in Josh's favor.
As for the hair.....ouch......it will have grown out some in 4 months, but I think the looks they want is out of the question......what about little tiaras?

[countrygirl]

Heather this sounds pretty good for you and J...hold on tight to your faith and Eric and I will pray for you and keep you in our thoughts until this nightmare is over.

As for the hair, how dang petty and childish can she be OMG sounds like the witch cut it just to spite you, poor kids, they are soo the victims here. Well I know you and J will do whatever has to be done and you know I am here for you!

This will work out, God watches over his children!

In the meantime Heather...geesh clean your house you filthy animal (JUST JOKING, HOPED TO MAKE YOU SMILE)!

Luv, ya!

Thank you Ellen, yes, you put a smile on my face, and gave me goosbumps aobut the faith and prayers. That is the strongest medicine we can ask for!!!!

[countrygirl]

Sorry, Heather. But it does sound like things are in Josh's favor.
As for the hair.....ouch......it will have grown out some in 4 months, but I think the looks they want is out of the question......what about little tiaras?

Thier hair does grow fast, but I am sure that she will cut it again anyway, jsut to do it. When we go to court, J is going to ask the court to order that she can't cut it w out his permission since the girls are in the wedding. I think this judge will order it as she doesn't like the ex as it is.

Tiaras may work, and I was thinking of doing little wreaths anyway, so this may be ok.

[Kacie_bride]

This is really a situation because the children are the victims here. I will pray for you and J and the kids. It sounds like things are in your favor and you guys will get the kids. They don't need a mother like her. Good luck!

[CindySue]

Thier hair does grow fast, but I am sure that she will cut it again anyway, jsut to do it. When we go to court, J is going to ask the court to order that she can't cut it w out his permission since the girls are in the wedding. I think this judge will order it as she doesn't like the ex as it is.

Tiaras may work, and I was thinking of doing little wreaths anyway, so this may be ok.
Actually the wreaths sound perfect....even if their hair is still pretty short, these would still help them look like angels!!!!

[Kacie_bride]

Oh and by the way-about the little girl's hair. Did she chop it off herself? The reason I am asking is because in the state of Texas (I'm sure Arizona's cosmetology regulations can't be that much different) a cosmotologist is not supposed to touch or permit anyone in their shop that has lice. If they find lice they are to stop even in the middle of a hair cut. So if she really had that bad of a problem there is no way a stylist would have cut the hair.

The kids probably got the lice from daycare or didn't they play baseball? All those kids wear the same helmets. When I was a kid and played baseball the whole team got it from helmets. That is why we bought our own and used it.

[CindySue]

Oh and by the way-about the little girl's hair. Did she chop it off herself? The reason I am asking is because in the state of Texas (I'm sure Arizona's cosmetology regulations can't be that much different) a cosmotologist is not supposed to touch or permit anyone in their shop that has lice. If they find lice they are to stop even in the middle of a hair cut. So if she really had that bad of a problem there is no way a stylist would have cut the hair.

The kids probably got the lice from daycare or didn't they play baseball? All those kids wear the same helmets. When I was a kid and played baseball the whole team got it from helmets. That is why we bought our own and used it.
Lice in school aged children is VERY common, especially little girls. Believe it or not the cleaner your hair is, the easier it is for them to latch on to it. I just hope she hasnt made the girls feel dirty because its not their faults.

[countrygirl]

Oh and by the way-about the little girl's hair. Did she chop it off herself? The reason I am asking is because in the state of Texas (I'm sure Arizona's cosmetology regulations can't be that much different) a cosmotologist is not supposed to touch or permit anyone in their shop that has lice. If they find lice they are to stop even in the middle of a hair cut. So if she really had that bad of a problem there is no way a stylist would have cut the hair.

The kids probably got the lice from daycare or didn't they play baseball? All those kids wear the same helmets. When I was a kid and played baseball the whole team got it from helmets. That is why we bought our own and used it.

She cut thier hair off herself before she sent them to her mom's house for 2 weeks. The girls said they had it there and thier gramma had to take care of it, and then take them in to have thier hair fixed, and that is why it's so short. I know that the little one got it from daycare, (she doesnt play sports yet)and brought it home. They found a few kids there w it. Thier mom didn't wash the sheets until the day after she was sent home w it.

[countrygirl]

Actually the wreaths sound perfect....even if their hair is still pretty short, these would still help them look like angels!!!!

She just told them it was our fault. When I was talking to them last night aobut thier hair, they told me that it WASNT our fault (mine and Josh's).

[Kacie_bride]

Lice in school aged children is VERY common, especially little girls. Believe it or not the cleaner your hair is, the easier it is for them to latch on to it. I just hope she hasnt made the girls feel dirty because its not their faults.

I know. I had it 3 times in elementary school because of baseball, daycare, and school. It is just one of those things kids get. I know adult teachers who end up with it occasionaly too!

[Trish]

It sounds as if things are looking good for y'all to get custody! good luck!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I want to wish you both the very best Heather! God will pull through for you!! Take care!! :)

[october6]

im so sorry for what u are going through i hope u get the girls and i hope the wedding comes ok.

[countrygirl]

Well, josh's ex it nailing herself already. On Friday, she took the kids to the water park of one of the girl's bday. Josh agreed to let her have the kids for an extra hour. In court on Thurs, the judge told her that she is to have the kids at home by 4. If for some reason they won't be, she was to call J to let him know and have them there by no later than six. Well, 4 pm rolls around, that they aren't home. Both Josh and I drove to her house a few times to wait for her, and to see if they were there. Nothing. No phone calls. By 5 pm, he called the police because he was getting worried. As Josh was on his way out the door, she shows up w the kids. Josh asked her where they had been and why they were 2 1/2 hrs late. She just said, 'we were stuck in traffice'. He told her that was no excuse, she should have called. She said they don't have a phone, so he told her that she should have pulled off to at least let him know. She flipped him off and left. After talking to Peyton and Isabelle, we found out that the only left the park 15 minutes before they were supposed to be home, and the park is (w traffic) over an hour from our side of town.

You better believe we documented THAT one!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Wow Heather! I so hope that the two of you get complete custody. This woman seems so unstable!!! Good luck!! :)

[countrygirl]

Wow Heather! I so hope that the two of you get complete custody. This woman seems so unstable!!! Good luck!! :)

Thanks Shawna, I do too. Those kids need to be w thier father.

And I am so glad to see you back. We missed you around here.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thanks Shawna, I do too. Those kids need to be w thier father.

And I am so glad to see you back. We missed you around here.

Thanks Heather!! I missed you all so much too! I was chomping at the bit to get home!! ;) Then when I did I had 10 pages to catch up on...now I'm down to 5 I believe but I'm still working on it! lol

PS I think you'd be a WAAAAAAAY better Mother figure for the children. I am crossing my fingers that the judge sees it that way too!!

[countrygirl]

Thanks Heather!! I missed you all so much too! I was chomping at the bit to get home!! ;) Then when I did I had 10 pages to catch up on...now I'm down to 5 I believe but I'm still working on it! lol

PS I think you'd be a WAAAAAAAY better Mother figure for the children. I am crossing my fingers that the judge sees it that way too!!

Thanks. I am keeping mine crossed too. We have our date in a month, so hopefully, all goes well.

Our main concern is J's oldest daughter. She has gained quite a bit of weight the three weeks that they were gone. She was already a bit overweight and J brought it up to his ex that we are going to try to help her eat healthier, and get more excercise, but she didn't want a part of. Well, now, as I said, she gained quite a bit, and has large sunken-in circles under her eyes. I was told over the weekend that it is a sign of malnutrition (which can also lead to a overbloated belly) dehydration, and poss. anemia. So J is getting her into the pediatrition this week to see what we can do. That poor little girl.

[MOB Karen]

Good luck to you and Josh, Heather!! I'm pulling for you!! Keep us posted!! :D

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thanks. I am keeping mine crossed too. We have our date in a month, so hopefully, all goes well.

Our main concern is J's oldest daughter. She has gained quite a bit of weight the three weeks that they were gone. She was already a bit overweight and J brought it up to his ex that we are going to try to help her eat healthier, and get more excercise, but she didn't want a part of. Well, now, as I said, she gained quite a bit, and has large sunken-in circles under her eyes. I was told over the weekend that it is a sign of malnutrition (which can also lead to a overbloated belly) dehydration, and poss. anemia. So J is getting her into the pediatrition this week to see what we can do. That poor little girl.

Yikes! That is scary! I think J is doing everything right!! He is doing a great job, and if the courts don't see that, they are stupid. But I have a good feeling for you and Josh!! :)

[AngelinLove]

That is really screwed up. As a former CPS worker I have a VERY low tolerance for people who refuse to take care of their children properly. If she cannot do it, then she shoudl be woman enough to step up, admit it, put the kids first and give custody to J!!!

[ikkin510]

How nice of his Ex to find more reasons for you to have the kids...lol. That is crazy. Hey, if she wants to continue to mess things up like that, more power to her, or should I say you!! I can tell already the kids are in a much better place staying with you two! Best of luck with the whole custody battle.

[countrygirl]

Good luck to you and Josh, Heather!! I'm pulling for you!! Keep us posted!! :D

Thanks Karen. I feel like I am just pulling a pitty party when I keep posting about this, but I guess it helps when I post, because then I can get it out of my system alittle bit.

[countrygirl]

That is really screwed up. As a former CPS worker I have a VERY low tolerance for people who refuse to take care of their children properly. If she cannot do it, then she shoudl be woman enough to step up, admit it, put the kids first and give custody to J!!!

I agree 110%. She is more concerned w gettting married next July and getting preg right away (which she told the kids she is doing) than making sure she can take of the ones she has.

[brewsells]

I am really sorry you have to go through all this ****. I wish you and Josh the best of luck.

[theweddinghelper]

I am so sorry Heather, for all you've been going through! I will pray for you guys! I really hope that the judge sees what wonderful people you and Josh are like all of us @ 1 wed do! Everything looks like it is going well for you too. I hope everything just gets better from here on out for the 2 of you and the children.
*By the way, I can't believe she wants another child right away when she can't take care of the ones she has @ home! That :censored: pisses me off!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I am so sorry Heather, for all you've been going through! I will pray for you guys! I really hope that the judge sees what wonderful people you and Josh are like all of us @ 1 wed do! Everything looks like it is going well for you too. I hope everything just gets better from here on out for the 2 of you and the children.
*By the way, I can't believe she wants another child right away when she can't take care of the ones she has @ home! That :censored: pisses me off!

Me too Christian! And she will be the one to get pregnant over people like us....it's a harsh way the world works!!!!

[countrygirl]

Me too Christian! And she will be the one to get pregnant over people like us....it's a harsh way the world works!!!!

Yup, I don't understand that one myself. My sister tried for six years to get preg, and she finally did, had twins in fact. But somoene like J's ex will prob get preg right away. She did have three oops on bc you know!!! That is what she told J anyway. But this will look better for us in court. The judge doesn't like her much as it is, and when she hears that the is telling the kids that she is going to have another one right away, and can't afford to take care of her three, that will be just another knotch for us!!!

[october6]

i hope u get the girls. the weight do u think it is b/c of stress from all of these. tell her that everything will be ok. and ask her to take a walk with and ask her what is wrong u might get the answer why she gained weight. i went thought the same thing with my parents so i know how it feels.and i gained weight too.

[theweddinghelper]

Me too Christian! And she will be the one to get pregnant over people like us....it's a harsh way the world works!!!!

I know, I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!!

[MOB Karen]

I know, I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!!

Life is so unfair sometimes!! :bbcry:

[countrygirl]

i hope u get the girls. the weight do u think it is b/c of stress from all of these. tell her that everything will be ok. and ask her to take a walk with and ask her what is wrong u might get the answer why she gained weight. i went thought the same thing with my parents so i know how it feels.and i gained weight too.

It's acutally two girls and a boy. But anyway, I know that she overeats, and her mother forces them to have very bad eating habits. She piles thier plate w food, forces them to eat it all, and then sends them to bed.

We have explained to her that we (the family) are going to eat healthier, and get more exercise. Josh told the kids that we are doing it so we can all run faster when we play. Running is one of her fav things to do. And since the kids play sports thru the city, and we are on three softball teams, it doesn't seem too far fetched for her. She is excited about exercising more. We had to do the same thing w his son last fall, and he ran w it. He loves salad more, and eats much better, and never felt that we were targeting his weight.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I know, I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!!

That thought is never far from my head when I see a pregnant woman smoking or a 15 year old pregnant! BUT that;s just me!

[october6]

sorry about the girl thing will i hope u get the kids

[countrygirl]

That thought is never far from my head when I see a pregnant woman smoking or a 15 year old pregnant! BUT that;s just me!

Preg is a blessing from God. It's unfortunate that some women don't see it.

[theweddinghelper]

Preg is a blessing from God. It's unfortunate that some women don't see it.

I totally agree!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I totally agree!

And an even bigger blessing when it doesn't come naturally or easy!

[countrygirl]

I totally agree!

What's even worse, is her 'fiance' was still married when they moved in together. He was divorced a month later. He has three kids. One, his son, lives in Canada, and never sees him. Now he is replacing his son w Peyton. He has two daughters here in the valley, but told me a month ago that he didn't know if the youngest was even born yet. He is a night manager (per the kids) at Domino's pizza. She works part time for a temp agency. Wow, big money to raise ANOTHER child on.

[theweddinghelper]

OMG! They really need to prioritize! I hope and pray you guys get full custody! It must take you all you have in you not to kick her :censored: every time u see that lazy :censored: !

[cowboysbride]

I've read all the posts Heather and you're still in my prayers and thoughts...great big hugs to you all...

[countrygirl]

Thank you ladies. It does help to vent here, you all are great. LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Thank you ladies. It does help to vent here, you all are great. LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!

we're always here for you Sister!! :)

[StaceyMc]

You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like those children will have a much better life with you guys. Seeing "parents" treat their children that way just turns my stomach.

[countrygirl]

Ok ladies, I am late on this one. Sorry. J went to court for custody. He did not get it that day, however, he did get a date for the trial/hearing for 8/17. It usually takes 3-4 months to get one, but he got it in a month. Pretty good!

His ex didn't deny anything, but made escuses for not being able to take care of her kids. She said that she can't afford this, can't that, is on a limited income, though she works full time, recieves state assist, recieves over $700/mo in support, and lives w her boyfriend who works too.

She told the court that she called CPS and said that J kicked his daughter in the face as punishement. We ended up w CPS at our house last week, and they said the claim was that he gave her a black eye and knocked two teeth out. Well, she may have gotten kicked while wrestling, which he always does w the kids. One of the teeth she lost before she came to our house, the other she lost while in Iowa w her grandparents for two weeks. Heck, she didn't call CPS until 10 days after the kids were gone because she knew that they couldn't come to take pics. She had not proof.

Anyway, she was told to provide proof of paying childcare, proof of being enrolled in school (the support was upped for those reasons) or the support will be lowered. She was ordered to get a ohone w in two days. She just got one yesterday.

She was told to have her kids ready for J the next day at 4 pm for the weekend pickup. She didn't have them home until 630, her excuse, stuck in traffic, no phone. Um, K, pull of the road and call. He should know that they are still alive!!!

J was told to get as many witnesses as he can, and was pretty much told what he needs to do for the trail. His x was told to clean up her act.

We shall see.

[CindySue]

Well I was trying to do some research, but dont think I came across anything really helpful. Did she shave the girls heads? What was ever done abou the malnutrition thing?
I thing the Onewed Girls need to break out the chairs, get on our tour bus and come :chair: Js ex.............

[cowboysbride]

Well I was trying to do some research, but dont think I came across anything really helpful. Did she shave the girls heads? What was ever done abou the malnutrition thing?
I thing the Onewed Girls need to break out the chairs, get on our tour bus and come :chair: Js ex.............

"Annies got her guns"....I'm at the bus stop!

[countrygirl]

Well I was trying to do some research, but dont think I came across anything really helpful. Did she shave the girls heads? What was ever done abou the malnutrition thing?
I thing the Onewed Girls need to break out the chairs, get on our tour bus and come :chair: Js ex.............

She hasn't shaved them yet, but she is saying that she is going to.

She told J that they eat well at her house. He told her the prob is the amount that they eat, his 7 year old tries to eat more than he does. He told her they need to eat healthier, not so much fast food, and that they need smaller more frequent meals. She didn't want to hear it.

She actually told him last night that he can't afford to pay for his kids. His response. I don't pay for them, I dont pay to see them, I help in raising them!!!!!

Bust out the chairs girls, her big ol fanny will take alot of them.