Fiance in trouble with the Parents, as well with me!

[mj512]

Well my fiance was writing one of his friends venting about my family, well he accidentally emailed it to my mother!!!! read what it says

I'm not sure if it's the trying to get things straight for the wedding or what but my patience has run low with her family lately. They got all upset at my parents and I for wanting to go look at that without Jacklynn. We didn't even know the price or if it were an option but I guess Jack said her mom was a little
upset about it...so mom was like forget it they can do all the cra p
themselves and if they need help they can ask someone else. Mom only found
out about the place because a good friend of hers had her daughters wedding
there and told mom she would show it to her...does everybody get crazy
leading up to a wedding? So i'll see ya tonight man!

So now not only is my mother hurt, but I am hurt and it was all due to miscommunication anyways because We never said we didn't want his mom to help, we just wanted Matthew to wait to look at the place (It is where we are thinking of doing the wedding and reception) until I get back in 4 weeks, that way we could look at it together.

And it stinks because Matt and my family have always had a wonderful relationship, so now I am just nervious to see what happens :(

like we have been together for over 5 years and never once have they gotten upset at each other...

[cowboysbride]

UH OH! I don't know what to tell you except I didn't think it was all that bad, at least he said "****" and didn't get ugly about anyone....bless your heart, I so would not want to have to deal with that...as the old saying goes..."It's easier to let the cat out of the bag than put it back in"!

Maybe next time he'll not be so hasty and check the addy before clicking "Send"....:bblol: Right now it seems like a horrid thing but believe me it'll get worse before it gets better and you will look back on this and laugh...keep your head up and smile!

[AngelinLove]

I agree with Ellen...it really isn't that bad. It is unfortunate that your mother got it, but it wasn't really nasty. It was only a vent..he was upset, because his mom was upset. I hope that it doesn't get blown out of proportion...and that everything works out!!!

[CindySue]

Ok...1st thing....calm down. Yes he was venting, but he does have a right to. Just be glad that email wasnt worse.....and trust me it could have been a LOT worse. Your FH and his family wanting to be a part of the wedding is what a lot of brides wish for, so feel lucky. Its his wedding too, and maybe he was wanting to try to make a few decisions himself. I know you would have ok'd everything 1st, but he wanted to do this for you and now he feels like he was shut down for it. Youre probably right about the miscommunication, but if he think everytime he tries to do something for you, hes going to be shut down, he will stop trying to do things....JMO.
Good Luck.........

[mj512]

Ok...1st thing....calm down. Yes he was venting, but he does have a right to. Just be glad that email wasnt worse.....and trust me it could have been a LOT worse. Your FH and his family wanting to be a part of the wedding is what a lot of brides wish for, so feel lucky. Its his wedding too, and maybe he was wanting to try to make a few decisions himself. I know you would have ok'd everything 1st, but he wanted to do this for you and now he feels like he was shut down for it. Youre probably right about the miscommunication, but if he think everytime he tries to do something for you, hes going to be shut down, he will stop trying to do things....JMO.
Good Luck.........

I was just as excited about the place they wanted to look into, but we had always said that we would go look at everything together, and since I am not there for the next 4 weeks, I told him I wanted him to wait. He had told me that it was fine, but when he told his mom that we wanted to wait until I was back that way we could both see it for the first time together his mom took it the wrong way.

lol the funny thing (if it can be seen as funny) is I think Matt is riding the 4 hours up to come see me tomorrow with my parents :) and just my parents lol... serves him right I guess hahaha I almost feel bad for him, but then I remember that he brought it upon himself that it will probably be weird lol

[CindySue]

I was just as excited about the place they wanted to look into, but we had always said that we would go look at everything together, and since I am not there for the next 4 weeks, I told him I wanted him to wait. He had told me that it was fine, but when he told his mom that we wanted to wait until I was back that way we could both see it for the first time together his mom took it the wrong way.

lol the funny thing (if it can be seen as funny) is I think Matt is riding the 4 hours up to come see me tomorrow with my parents :) and just my parents lol... serves him right I guess hahaha I almost feel bad for him, but then I remember that he brought it upon himself that it will probably be weird lol
Well like youve never said anything that got back to the person you said it about?......OH I know I have and mine wasnt near that gentle. Theres a couple of different possibilities here. Maybe he was wanting to accomplish somethings while you were gone. Maybe you wanting to wait and go together rubbed his mom the wrong way, with her thinking you dont trust him to make a decision on his own........trust me...Ive dealt with this one MANY times.
Sweetie, Im not saying you dont have a right to be upset, but what if he would have been calling her names and really degrading your family? He wasnt. He was venting his frustrations.
(FYI - are you sure it was an accident, maybe he wanted her to know about this.......the reason I say this is because it sounds just like something my husband would do.)

[Kacie_bride]

I agree with everyone else. The e-mail wasn't that bad. I'm sure your mother will get over it. I would suggest he apologize and perhaps calmly explain his side. I do agree that I would want to go look together and that maybe he should wait until you get back. 4 weeks is not that long.

[LaceyinPgh]

He could have said a lot worse. Would it be better that he explain his side to his friends and get it all out or to keep all his frustration bottled up? It wasn't anything worse than I have said to people. I wouldn't say anything. Just tell your mom he was letting off steam and leave it at that. He has every right to feel angry or frustrated at someone and not have to feel guilty about in top of it all.

[mj512]

(FYI - are you sure it was an accident, maybe he wanted her to know about this.......the reason I say this is because it sounds just like something my husband would do.)

Yeah he wouldn't send it on accident, he wouldn't do that, he has a GREAT relationship with my parents, which is why I am so like worried. We have been getting a lot done while I have been gone, and I know that there was miscommunication to his mother, but now I'm just worried because I don't want to feel weird now. I know he didn't say anything TOO bad, but since they have never even differed in anything it seems like a lot you know?

Thanks guys I feel a little better though because while I just talked to my mom on the phone and she was already having a stressful day, and actually she is more upset with ME about it, because I shouldn't have told Matt that my mom was upset... even though I tell him everything and didn't think it was a big deal to tell him that WE were kinda hurt, but ANYWAYS thanks again!

[CindySue]

Well weddings are stressful on EVERYONE involved, not just the brides......
Good Luck

[mj512]

okay well I guess they are going out to lunch, so let's hope I'm just over worried about it, I'm way too stressed out!

[CindySue]

okay well I guess they are going out to lunch, so let's hope I'm just over worried about it, I'm way too stressed out!
When I was planning mine, I was so high strung and stressed, there probably wasnt a whole lot I didnt blow out of proportion!!!!!
And it sounds like thats what hes stressing about to.....everyone is sooo stressed around him and he just needs verification that its the wedding causing all this.

[SueMartin]

like everyone says it could have been worse.. let him explain it, then drop it.. it isnt the worse thing thats EVER going to happen.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I've seen a lot worse! I've said a lot worse! With that being said, he was like everyone else said venting and he's allowed to do that. Don't let this petty little thing ruin anything, including your parents relationship with him. It's not like he called your mom anything, he just stated that he's having a rough go of it! It'll clear up and tell your parents to chill, it's really not THAT bad! ;)