household chores who does what

[jamt]

ok ladys who does what in your household
i have just spent my days off for the last two weeks decorating our guestroom i even had to do a few hrs each day this week after working a 12hr shift to get it done
fh was supposed to clean house an today my guests arrive an man you should see the house its a mess so today i get to clean it:realmad:
but i also get to do the garden
an fh does the cooking an shopping
i feel that i have the short straw here as i appear to be doing the heavy work
well i had better stop moaning an get on as super clean an tidy fsil is coming today an then i have to hit the shops as our guests that are staying over get here later on so i am off to have a ciggie a cola an get my self into the fun cleaning
so tell me whats your household division of chores

[jamt]

well the guest room is almost done an the lounge to next on my hit list is the kitchen then i have to hit the shops an collect a birthday cake an come back make dinner an tidy what ever i don't get done not in moan mood anymore so maybe all i had to do was get started to make feel a little better

[SkippyNXC]

i do it all... the only thing i ask FH to do is HIS toilet and put dishes in the dishwasher when he's dirtied them... (which he doesn't do)

over the summer i was not working n on break from school so we fell into this i do everything pattern n it's been hard to break now that i don't have all this time to clean n cook...

[savepaws]

I pretty much do the majority of the cooking (DH does the grilling) & cleaning. DH used to do dishes, which was so awesome! But we have a dishwasher in this house so he usually leaves the dishes for me and I don't really mind. Lately he's been helping a lot with laundry without me even asking. :hearts:


DH takes care of mowing, shoveling snow, taking the garbage to the road, scooping dog poop from the yard, fixing the cars, basically maintenance on anything that needs it. He's also pretty good about picking up after himself so I'm not running around cleaning up his messes. And if I ask for help, he's always willing to give me a helping hand. I seriously lucked out in the helpful husband department!! :wub:

[WebLady]

I am the housewife so I do just about all the cleaning and cooking and all. DH takes out the trash a lot and will help me with stuff sometimes.

[gwenshack]

I do everything except mess it up again - that's DH's job. :winktongue:

[mitch]

I do 98% of things. Cooking, Laundry, Food Shopping, Washing Up, Tidying up, Hoovering, Dusting, Gardening, Mowing the Lawn, Taking the rubbish out.

The only thing DH does is make a mess. Cook dinner if we have guests. And uses the Frothy Coffee Maker. (That gadget i refuse to learn how to work) He also does all the decorating although it was me who painted the garden fence.

When we moved house (And every time we have ever moved) All DH did was load the van up, drive it to the new house and then unload it. I had to pack everything, sort out all the change of address stuff and then unpack the boxes the other end. :bbconfused:

But DH works anything from 40 to 90 hours a week. I only work upto 20 hours. So the house is more my domain. DH just earns the cash that pays for the upkeep. ;)

[jamt]

well ladys its nice to see i'am not alone in doing so much an gwen at least you only have 1 messy person in your house i have two its hard to say anything as i'am as bad as he is oh how i wish i was tidy but its just not in my genetic make up
i did feel much better for having a little moan about it an once i got started it wasnt so bad
now all i need is one good day to get into the garden an get it looking tidy and i will be up to date on everything

[WBandMe]

I do everything.... every other week or so DH will take out the garbage, and once in awhile he'll put one of his own dishes in the dishwasher, and maybne once a month he'll make dinner. Otherwise, I do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, all of it.

To be fair, he works and I don't. :)

[CaseyK37]

I am kind of embarrassed! :bbredface: Haha! You guys work so hard around your house... My FH does just about everything!! He does the dishes, cleans the bathroom, cleans the litter box, cleans the rest of the apartment. He does the grocery shopping. The only thing I have to do is the laundry - and he doesn't even complain when it piles up :yesnod: I am pretty busy with school and work that I hardly have any time to think let alone clean! FH is really understanding about it. He has been working like 10 hrs a week but he just got a new job so I am sure the apartment will be fairly messy.

[ikkin510]

I do all the cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. I'm a stay a home wife and mom and I am one of thos crazy people who loves to clean and organize. So I actually enjoy what I have been doing.
We share the cooking, although Dh does tend to cook more often. I grew up with a mom would couldn't cook and is the first to admit it you. So I never really learned or got to enjoy it. But I cook on my DH's long work days. And a select few meals that I do enjoy making.
Since we share the cooking, we also go grocery shopping together.
DH is then in charge of the garbage. Right now we rent and the landlord takes card of the lawn, but if was up to use I think we'd fight over mowing. Another job that I always enjoyed doing growing up. I get my quiet time then...LOL.
Now that I am pregnant my Dh has been stepping up more and helping with other jobs. For example, he carries the laundry upstairs and puts it away and will even through a load in washer every now and then. He is also in charge of cleaning the shower, since I use a stronger cleaner on that. Although that job takes some nagging to get done.

[ksherlin]

I do most of everything inside; however, if I ask him to do it, he will (on his own time unless I am pushy). We do share the dishes job though. I wash and he dries and we both put them away. We never have enough dishes to use the dish washer so it is better to do them by hand.

As far as the outside stuff goes, it is all him. He has a mowing and landscaping business with his father and brother, so he takes care of all that. So therefore, I am perfectly fine with doing the inside things!

[sandy03]

I do just about everything. DH will occasionally do laundry or dust (if he's forgotten to ask me to do something, he knows better than to whine about it not being done, he just does it himself but he usually only does his stuff!) The deal was supposed to be that whoever cooks, the other person has to clean up but I usually end up doing both! DH used to vacuum because I hated the vacuum we had, but now that I have one I like to use, I'll do it too!

[MrsDM]

I do most of the housework. Cleaning, cooking (not complaining, because I enjoy it), tidying up, grocery shopping, laundry, and dishes. Somedays I get frustrated because I too feel like I'm constantly doing all the work. He can't even throw his soda cans or water bottles away!! :realmad: Other days however, I don't mind. I can be very picky and very controlling when it comes to cleaning, that if its not done by me, I don't know if something is really clean or not.

DH does more of the outside work cutting the grass, watering flowers, picking up dog poo (which is fine by me!), makes sure the garage is clean, basement is clean, etc. He is kinda a neat freak when it comes to those areas too, so I guess we balance each other out!

[ChristineLS]

We split the household chores based on availability... which lately means that we don't have the cleanest apartment ever, we're both so busy. But there are some things that we each do, or a system. Like I feed the cat and change the litterbox in the morning, and he does at night. One cooks dinner and the other cleans up afterwards, if we both cook then we both clean. We're both pretty good cooks, I tend to be improvisational while he is the gourmet chef. Otherwise, it's "X needs to be done and Y has the time".

We're not dirty, but we're not organized people either. My mother in law walked in and I think she was shocked at how disorganized a shelving unit we have was... but we can live with it and our priorities are in different places, and we're OK with that.

[mitch]

We're not dirty, but we're not organized people either. My mother in law walked in and I think she was shocked at how disorganized a shelving unit we have was... but we can live with it and our priorities are in different places, and we're OK with that.

Exactly! There is a very big difference between "Dirty" and "Untidy". At the moment our house is untidy because we are decorating.

DH is doing the Kitchen which involves ripping old tiles off the wall and worktops off units. So everything is in the Dining Room.

I'm painting the Bathroom which involves everything being in the Spare Bedroom.

But the Kitchen Sink is clean to do dishes and there is room to eat.
The Bathroom Sink is clean to have a wash and brush teeth. And there is space to get to the Bath and Shower. ;)

[starsthrumysoul]

Lately, since we got the puppy, neither of us have been doing much of anything! But usually...

He does laundry, some dishes, cleans the cat's litter box and takes out garbage.

I pick up, do some dishes, dust and vacuum, sweep, and clean the bathroom.

Sometimes I feel like I do so much more than he does, but I forget that he does laundry (he does it every Sunday at his parents house), so it's pretty even.

[brendalin]

I cook, do dishes, laundry, clean, mow the lawn and take out the trash. I basically do it all!:lafhard:

Sometimes it bothers me that I do all of the work around the house but it has to get done. Dh and I are so busy, but he works more then I do so I do it in my "spare time" (I work about 55 hours a week he works about 65). DH helps with whatever he can. whenever he can. Maybe some day we will be a little less busy and be able to split the chores a little more evenly.

Plus I am a little wierd about cleaning, I like things to be done a certain way, and then I know that it is clean....

[melissa1031]

I do mostly everything.I like it done a certain way.But he does pitch in.

[Danielle9608]

I do everything except mess it up again - that's DH's job. :winktongue:
LOL this cracked me up!

[Danielle9608]

I pretty much do all of the cleaning. I tidy up when I get home from work everyday, sometimes vacuum if it needs it. I clean the house from top to bottom once a week on Sundays. I also cook most of the meals. I also fold and put the laundry away.

Jon pays all the bills. He does the laundry (most of the time, sometimes he forgets and I do it) He also does the grocery shopping.

We split the dog walks 50/50. We also share trash duties, we have a rule, if you fill it, you empty it.

[FutureMrsWilson]

When I'm at home, I do everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, cutting the grass (when he brings the nice big john deere from work, anyway :D ), take care of the dogs, chickens, and veggie garden. I bag up the garbage and put it in the back of his truck, he just has to toss it into the dump when he gets to work. BUT when I'm at home, I also am not working at all. And even when I was working in Georgia, it was ~45-55 hours a week, which sounds like a lot... Until you realzie that his work days during the summer are 6:30-7:30, with a 45 minute drive one way - in the hot sun 12 days on, 2 days off.

Sometimes I complain when I get home from being on the road and EVERYTHING is a complete and utter mess. After a couple of days, though, it mostly gets back into order.

But, I really really enjoy being a working homemaker :yesnod:

[FFC]

I do just about everything - cooking, cleaning, laundry, keep up with the dog, and any home projects I want done, I usually do them (such as my hutch I'm working on).

Once in awhile, I can get him to take out the trash when it's over flowing, and he mows the lawn.... he did it last week and that was the first time all summer LOL.

We're both students, so we've both been pretty far behind lately.

[ChristineLS]

The social scientist in me is really curious, so humor me :)

For that gals that do nearly everything - how did this set up originate? How do you feel about it? I'm really surprised how many of you work/go to school AND singlehandedly keep the home running.

[FutureMrsWilson]

The social scientist in me is really curious, so humor me :)

For that gals that do nearly everything - how did this set up originate? How do you feel about it? I'm really surprised how many of you work/go to school AND singlehandedly keep the home running.

I thought you would have a question or two about this :D

Growing up, my mom made us all partake in household chores. I usually did the laundry, cleaned my and the guest bathrooms, cleaned my and my little brothers rooms (until they were old enough to really start doing it themselves) as well as any other things that came up and I was the only one available. (Actually my older sister was hardly ever home because she played so many sports - so I did the majority of the "kids" chores). My stepdad also cleaned, but we got yelled at if we didn't get things done - he didn't :P My mom is very, very meticulous about the house and how it is kept - and I inherited a lot of that. I don't get upset when he does clean and doesn't do it my way, but the next day or whenever I get time I go behind him and do it how I like it.

In college, he was a very messy boy. I just started cleaning how I liked things. When he would go home-home (to his mom's) on the weekends, I would clean the entire apartment - dusting, moving furniture to vacuum, the whole 9 yards. Once we got the house, we were both working 12 hour days, but I was the one who cared enough to at least clean a little when I got home. And it's just kind of continued that way.

If I ever do need help, though, he'll help. I may have to wait three hours until he's had a nap, played with the dog, and talked to the neighbors - but he'll do it without moaning and groaning. And I don't pester him to get it done by any certain time, I'll just ask once then remind again a little later, and it eventually gets done. In the winter when things slow down for him at the golf course, he'll usually do a good bit of laundry and vacuuming. But he's a surface cleaner - I'm a scrubber. He doesn't think we need to move the chairs and tables to vacuum, or clean the baseboards every now and then, or move the fridge/stove and clean around/behind them. He doesn't dust, windex, clean the inside of the toilet, or disinfect the kitchen sink and cabinet tops. And since he doesn't think he needs to do it, he doesn't do it, and I don't expect him to.

That's it, I think. But this week while I was gone he brought the pressure washer home from work and sprayed the house and porch! I had asked him to bring it home while I was there and he said it was getting used - turns out, he just didn't want me to have to do it myself. :hearts:

[FutureMrsWilson]

And, I have to add, I really do enjoy doing things for him.

Neither of us are very good at expressing feelings (aside from saying "I love you" and all that normal stuff), and one of the ways I show him I care is by doing things for him. I like cooking for him.. I like that when he goes to bed he doesn't have to worry about if he has work pants and shirts to wear the next day, I like that when I go on the road he has a kitchen full of clean dishes, drawers full of clean clothes, and a fridge full of fast-to-fix food. I don't know why.. I just really enjoy it. And he still tells me he appreciates it and "oohs and ahhs" over the phone when he's asking me what kind of food I bought him.. lol.. I just enjoy it.

[aznative371]

The social scientist in me is really curious, so humor me :)

For that gals that do nearly everything - how did this set up originate? How do you feel about it? I'm really surprised how many of you work/go to school AND singlehandedly keep the home running.

Christine I can answer that about myself. I think I have part OCD (I am sure passed on from my father who use to wax the dryer...yes he would actually use car wax on the washer and dryer..our house was spotless). My dh does not seem to care that much about clean and order....so I learned after years of bitching at him that it is my need for clean not his (plus the three dogs who do most of the mess were mine before we were even dating)...therefore I shoulder most of the responsability. He does help with the yard (after many reminders), he does a great deal with our 2 year old and he does fix dinner most of the time (because I would be happy eating cereal every night). He use to have his own room where he could be as messy as he wanted but I just could not stand it anymore (as it is also the guest bedroom which my parents stay in when they visit) and it took me a whole day to clean, so poor guy does not even have his pig pen anymore. As time goes on he does seem to be much better about helping.

[Nekochanpurr]

We share pretty much everything, cept he always does the dishes, and i always clean the bath room and do kitty litter.. But the other stuff it just depends. Because i never know when i am working (i take what i get, and krogers gives me some nutty hours) and we live in an apartment, sometimes i can't do things like laundry because its too late when i get home..

[uptowngirl]

This is an interesting thread!

I work from home, and care the most, so I do most of the cleaning. We cook most meals together, and laundry is usually whoever remembers and gets to it first, (although I always fold and put away - the man can't fold clothes to save his life!). He usually tries to help, but "Honey I cleaned the kitchen so you can just relax" usually means I clean it again while he's not paying attention. :)

I think these roles are because of my neat-nik tendencies, the circumstances of our work situations, and the way that we were raised (my parent's house is spotless, his is well-loved and lived in.)

[jamt]

oh not been here in a while well christine i guess its a case of someone has to do it an i have tried not doing it but then it becomes even to messy for me to live in but it is hard to keep up with it all
my days off this week will be taken up with housework as i didnt do it last week an the garden still isnt done but hey you never know all i need is one rainfree day while i am off
i think its safe to say sometimes it botheres me an somtimes it doesnt

[Mrs.Johnson111111]

I cook.. he does the dishes... and we both clean anything else together if needed

He is the neater one tho lol

[allielaurent]

I do most everything. I cook, clean the bedrooms, mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, wash the dishes, do the laundry, etc. He does fold the laundry every now and then, but he mostly does the "man" chores like mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, and washing the cars. It's not like he doesn't try to help or want to help with the other chores; he's just not very good at them. :laugh2:

[ChristineLS]

So last week in a class that examines marriage and family, we were discussing division of labor in the house hold.

According to the National Survey of Families and Households (2002), division of labor is broken down like this:

First column = task, second column = hours husbands spend, third = hours wives spend PER WEEK

Task___________________Husband__________Wife_
Meal Prep_________________2.27___________9.49_
Dishes____________________1.73___________5.66_
Ironing/Washing____________.58____________4.11_
Cleaning House____________1.48____________7.56_
Outdoor Tasks_____________4.45___________1.70_
Auto Maintenence__________1.43____________.14_
Managing Bills______________1.19___________1.55_
Grocery Shopping___________1.31___________2.89

TOTAL____________________14.44__________33.10

The survey also divided it within ideology of couple (equity or traditional), working status (both work, husband only, wife only), decade (1930s to 2000), and NONE of it really dramatically changed. Well, if the wife is the breadwinner, a stay at home husband does 18 hours of work a week, wife does 29. Otherwise, the variations were no where near being significant. It's called "the second shift" for working women in the literature, because they do virtually the same number of hours of housework that stay at home wives do.

The explanation for it that was offered by my professor, is that it's socialized. He did a study of the percentage of time that sons and daughters spend on the above tasks as part of chores, and the proportions are nearly identical.

Researchers have also pointed that women's labor tends to be more stressful, in that it is every day, at certain times, and highly structured whereas men have more leeway to schedule it around other leisure activity. There also has been some research done that suggest that this division of labor is done intentionally because of gendered idea of what makes men's work (creative, flexible) verses women's work (monotonous, regimented) and so men "resist" helping out in the devalued labor by claiming not to know how to do it or sabotaging the efforts and being deliberately bad at it, but women are more likely to help out with men's labor because it is culturally glorified (think about fixing cars verses vacuuming).

Scary stuff.