Fiance won't wear his wedding ring!

[mariaandmanish]

:( My fiance and I have about 3 weeks until our wedding and he decided that today, while we were out getting our marraige license and picking out my jewelry for my dress, that he was going to tell me that after our wedding, he won't be wearing his wedding ring. He says he's going to wear it around his neck. When asked why, he says he "just can't wear rings." THis makes me really upset, because it makes me feel as though he does not value our marraige if he's unwilling to visibly show that he is married by wearing his ring. I did tell him that his unwillingness to wear his ring upset me and really hurt my feelings, but could not go into it further as we were standing in a jewelry store with a friend of mine who'd gone as witness for our license. His response was "Whatever." I don't know what to really do here. To me, it is extremely important that he wear his ring, and it really hurts me a lot to think that he doesn't value it as much as I do. Am I overreacting? :(

[LizabethDavis]

What does your FH do for work? Depending on what he does, you very well may be overreacting. My FH is a mechanic and I certainly wouldn't want him wearing his ring on his finger and getting it all dirty and banged up. I would be happy if he wore it around his neck, but I am not expecting it. So long as he wears it when we are out.

If he doesn't do any of that kind of work, I would be a little more upset, but not terribly. Some people just can't wear jewelry...It doesn't mean he loves you any less!

[mariaandmanish]

He works with computers at a desk all day. I guess I may be overreacting, I think it doesn't help that he's not willing to even discuss it as though it's not important. Arg!

[Trish]

I know I'm new here, but I just thought I'd let you know that my fiance has big knuckles from cracking them so much, so rings are uncomfortable on him, plus he is a UPS driver and a ring would get very banged up on him. He haas decided he will get my name tatood on his ring finger and we will be buying a cheap ring for the sole purpose of the ceremony. Maybe, if you don't like the wearing of the ring around his neck, you two can come up with another way to represent your love for eachother.

[CindySue]

Some guys are just like that........
What if you asked him to just wear it on special occassions when you go out. Or you could check into those "comfort fit" bands. Brian has one and he LOVES it!!!!!!

[maz]

Have you sat down and told him how you feel?? at least he will still be wearing it and at the end of the day you know he loves you as your getting marriedXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[cowboysbride]

Eric won't be wearing his unless we go out somewhere... he maintains the robots that weld together Ford truck frames and obviously would lose a finger if he wore it to work, he can't wear it at home on the farm either. He wanted a nice ring though and plans on wearing it anytime we go out. I think it was nice of him to offer to wear it on a chain, if it is uncomfortable on his finger.

[mj512]

My fiance will wear his wedding ring, but I have a suggestion. He is going to get the design of the ring tatooed on his ring finger. Maybe he could do that? Matthew is doing it so that it is always on and if he is out getting dirty or something he can still show he is married without getting his ring dirty. See if he would get the design on the ring tatooed on his finger, and then wear the ring around his neck

[brewsells]

My FH isn't planning on wearing his ring either. This really doesn't bother me. He just doesn't like rings. I think it was nice of him to offer to wear it on a necklace. There are several men I know who just don't wear them. it doesn't mean he is any less commited to you or proud that you are his wife.

[WebLady]

I know lots of men that don't wear rings for various reasons. The way I see it, if he is marrying you and you trust him (which you should if you are marrying him IMO) then if he doesn't want to wear the ring I wouldn't worry about it. But if it really bothers you sit down and calmly talk to him about it.

Neither my DH or myself wear wedding rings, we left that part out of our ceremony, it just isn't our thing. I do wear jewelry on occasion and I have rings, but I don't think we are any less married because of the absence of rings. And I don't worry that he is trying to pass himself off as unmarried or anything either.

I think it is more about the commitment than a ring. Women are usually more into jewelry than men anyway.

I considered having 'True Love' tattooed on my ring finger (I still think about it) but for me it was just because I love tattoos. DH doesn't have tattoos (I think he is scared of the needles ;)) and so he didn't want to do it.

Did you know that there isn't much historical mention of the man wearing a wedding ring at all until the early 1900's?!

[Kacie_bride]

It would probably bother me to an extent if Justin decided he was not going to wear his, but I think I would be okay with it. Some guys just do not wear jewelry. My mother and father are celebrating their 29 wedding anniversary this weekend and my dad has not worn his wedding band for 28 of those years. I would try not to worry about it. There are plenty of men out there with wedding bands on sleeping around with other women. It does not mean he does not love or does not want to be married. It is just one of those crazy guy things.

[mariaandmanish]

Well, thanks ladies... I think you definitely answered my question. I guess I should just stop bothering him about it and be happy that he's going to have one at all. He will be wearing it, just not on his finger. And, to compromise, I think I will ask him to wear it on his finger on special occasions. You're all a great help! Thanks!:bblol:

[Crystal05]

I'd sit him down and tell him how much it hurts you. Maybe once he realizes how upset you really are, he'll decide to wear it. Both myself and my DH don't wear our rings all the time (like to bed, shower.. etc). Maybe you can compromise and he can just wear it when you guys go out or something. Good luck!