imago

[EarlyBird]

I must first say.. this is not a complaint.. but its something in marriage advice that i had never heard of.. so wanted to share.
DH and i had been speaking about doing some sort of marriage workshops/retreats etc etc.. a couple we know did it and raved how fun, how you get to know each other, etc etc. Its not necessarily for "specific Problems" but sometimes its nice to "purge" feelings we didnt even know we repressed etc etc. So dh and i decided retreat would be fun. we looked, but they were all far away and 3-4 days, we couldnt get away, but said maybe next summer or something ya know? So we started looking for "workshops" being interfaith, there was only ONE that held non denominational workshops in our area. we called-- of course, closed the workshops till oct. something about not having enough therapists over summer time since they took vaca!
since we had been so excited, one of the therapist said a method they use it IMAGO therapy in the workshop- its a communication therapy where you dont talk to the DOCTOR you talk to EACH OTHER and the doctor listens and helps break down things that are said etc etc. We decided hey could be fun at least one or two till october.. I got to tell you. we had SO MUCH FUN and believe it or not, a little relief on things we didnt even know we had thought (example, dh felt my forgetting my vows would always bother him- i got to communicate back, that what i said at the altar didnt mean any less bc i forgot a paper and then made him laugh by reminding him "hey, better i forget our vows that day then one of our children somewhere one day" the therapist then says to him "what did you get out of that explanation and his response was "i love my wife's sense of humor" )

anyway, was wondering if anyone else had heard of/had done imago therapy? of course at over 100bucks a pop, we are going to wait to go to the workshops in october.. but a couple times wasnt bad, we have wasted more money on dinner.

[FFC]

Interesting concept.... I'm interested in seeing any feedback on this as well!

[WebLady]

I have never heard it called that, but I have heard of similar counseling sessions.

Glad you guys got some good out of it :)

[Tadswife]

We had a mini retreat before we got married. It was a required workshop that we had to attended through our church. It WAS fun. It was amazing that we were able to discuss things we never would have otherwise. It brought up topics we could elaborate on and dig to the bottom as to what our feeling were and how they made us who we are. It was fun.

[EarlyBird]

Tad's wife- yah im really excited to find the time for a retreat. I have heard how fun they can be - just a little worried about going with a church or temple since we are from seperate religious backgrounds.

[f77g4]

Sounds like an interesting concept and a good way to work on the communication and listening, etc.

[Nekochanpurr]

That does sound really fun! :D

[Bunnyfeet]

Maybe FH and I are strange but we actively seek out that kind of stuff and find it really fun... lol

Like he found this book (alot of people have probably heard of it) 1000 Questions for Couples, I think it was, and that was a lot of fun to do. Like it's amazing the simple things that we actually didn't know about each other, even though we've been best friends for like several years and dating for 4!

Another cool thing we found was a book that went through detailed steps talking about our childhoods/how we grew up/the experiences we've had in life, and why we have the habits we do that might drive each other crazy or be detrimental to our relationship, and then reforming those habits. Those were surprisingly constructive. (I'm usually the person that thinks a lot of things are a load of crock/I'm kind of skeptical. And even I have to admit, I think things like imago or the books I found help a ton in relationships.)

I think FH and I would be too uncomfortable talking in front of a therapist, we're both pretty shy that way, but we found the books were really helpful cause we could kind of coach ourselves through it. But we'll get a chance to do some of that kind of stuff with pre-marriage stuff for the church, so I guess we'll get to try it out then and see what kind of differences there are! It should be interesting.

[NOTKT]

I was a volunteer mediator in our city and they used a similar type of theory to help families mediate with each other. It really did work for the most part.