2 brides??

[bridesmaid101]

Hi,

I am in my best friend's upcoming wedding.

My boyfriend is set to propose as soon as he gets his new job in order (recently laid off- boo economy!). Anyways, I have the feeling he might propose before her wedding, which is great for us, but crummy for timing!!!

Obviously, we aren't engaged yet so I'm obviously just thinking ahead, but I am really fearing it will happen before her wedding. So in the event it does, is it OK to announce it? How much time after her wedding passes do I ask her to be my MOH? Is it OK to ask others to be in the wedding before her wedding if I don't ask her til after hers? Do I just wait til after the wedding to ask everyone? We will have a short engagement that's why timing is kinda iffy too. Ugggh!

I realllllly want her to revel in all of her wedding stuff but if I get engaged, how can I keep that to myself???!!?? She is the kind of person who would be happy for me, but not want me to wear my engagement ring in her wedding if mine is bigger, lol.

Any tips?

-Confused BM.... :-)

[gwenshack]

Hi there! Congrats to you in your possible upcoming engagement, and to your friend for her upcoming wedding.

I don't think there's any reason to hide an engagement from your friend - I would just tell her privately, saying something like "Boyfriend asked me to marry him! I'm so excited and I, of course, want you to stand up for me when the time comes. But right now let's concentrate on you and your big day and we'll deal with my plans after your wedding is over. It's time for us to celebrate you!"

I'm sure she'll be happy for you and be excited to take part in your upcoming plans. Best of luck!

[WebLady]

As long as you don't announce it at her wedding or her shower or anything like that then I don't see a problem. She can't control your life anymore than you hers.

[bridesmaid101]

Good points ladies!! Thanks!! I will take your advice in its due timing.

And I KNOW that I'm not even engaged yet, just know it's gonna happen soon so am getting excited about it! :-)

[sandy03]

I would definitely tell your friend when you get engaged. And I think it would be fine to ask her to be your MOH whenever you feel is the right time. My cousin was a BM in my wedding and actually got married about three days after I did (except she eloped so no immediate second wedding!) It was actually a lot of fun doing wedding stuff together and getting to share that!

[lilmsjess]

bridesmaid101

how awesome! i'd say congrats and welcome, but you've been around heehee!

that's so awesome! pre-congrats!

[WBandMe]

I think Gwen's advice was right on! I wouldn't hold off telling her or mentioning that you'd like her to be in the wedding because she might be hurt that she was the last to know. I'd tell her right away, not during any events for her wedding though, and make it clear to her that you're not looking to steal the limelight and you plan to put off your major planning until after her wedding.

And no matter what your ring looks like compared to hers, if you have it when she gets married, you wear it with pride! :)

[FFC]

I believe Gwen hit the nail on the head again. Great advice!

[bridesmaid101]

Ok, so the plot thickens!! :-) He is ready to propose. He wanted me to help him pick the ring. We went to the mall and I picked out one that he put on hold. We also ordered one online which will be here in a few weeks. Then I get to see which one I like and he will return the other one. And then drop to one knee in some romantic setting and tell me all the mushy stuff... He is SO excited to get engaged but....

My friend's wedding is about 5 weeks away at this point. Going to the jewelers and trying on the rings was SO fun and I can't wait to wear his ring BUT I asked him to please not do it before my friend's wedding because I totally want the attention on her. This is not a point my man is understanding. :-) He doesn't see why this would be a problem...that she can't control the course of my life...and he can't wait to put his ring on my finger... I think this is just an unwritten code of ethics for women though... :P Especially considering how close to her wedding it actually is and that I'm a BM. I know I would still be happy for my friend if I was the bride but I still would not want her stealing my thunder, lol. :-) Then again, if it's out of my control....I just don't know... :-)

What's a girl to do??! :-)

[FFC]

I say talk to your friend about it if you're concerned about it. I think it's sweet that your boyfriend is ready to propose and he can't wait to do it. Talk to the bride-to-be who's wedding you're standing up in and see what she thinks. Be honest with her and tell her you want an honest opinion.

If you're special enough to her for you to be her MOH, then she's going to WANT to know about this, and she's going to be nothing but happy for you.

Good luck!

[melissa1031]

I agree with Gwen.Tell her privately.Ask her to be your MOH.And let her know that you 2 can start planning your wedding the day after her's.

[WebLady]

I agree that you should talk to her about it if you are worried, but I still go back to my original comment ... as long as you don't make a big deal about it at her wedding or anything then it shouldn't be a problem. Your friend should be happy for you.

[gwenshack]

I say talk to your friend about it if you're concerned about it. I think it's sweet that your boyfriend is ready to propose and he can't wait to do it. Talk to the bride-to-be who's wedding you're standing up in and see what she thinks. Be honest with her and tell her you want an honest opinion.

If you're special enough to her for you to be her MOH, then she's going to WANT to know about this, and she's going to be nothing but happy for you.

Good luck!

I completely agree. If she's truly your friend she'll just be happy for you! :congrats2:

[bridesmaid101]

Ok ladies- thanks so much for your tips! I feel a LOT better now. We'll see how it all pans out. :-) By the way, it has been KILLING me to keep all this info from her since she is my best friend!!!! :-)

I'm sure everything will be fine in the end. :-)

Thanks again and happy for us both. :-)

[FFC]

Ok ladies- thanks so much for your tips! I feel a LOT better now. We'll see how it all pans out. :-) By the way, it has been KILLING me to keep all this info from her since she is my best friend!!!! :-)

I'm sure everything will be fine in the end. :-)

Thanks again and happy for us both. :-)

She's going to just about do that when she finds out you didn't tell her sooner :p I know if I were in her shoes, and my best friend was in your shoes, I'd rip her a new one for not telling me sooner.

Best of luck to you and getting it all worked out! :cheers:

[lilmsjess]

She's going to just about do that when she finds out you didn't tell her sooner :p I know if I were in her shoes, and my best friend was in your shoes, I'd rip her a new one for not telling me sooner.

Best of luck to you and getting it all worked out! :cheers:

ditto, ditto!:chair:
:rofl: if my MaidOH was getting engaged, and she didn't tell me, i think fh and i BOTH would take a trip to IL! but then, maybe i'm different...while i don't want to steal someone else's thunder(we moved our date, b/c my brother's girlfriend was/is due to have their 1st baby the same week), if my BFFFFF didn't tell me she was getting married, i'd run her over ;) put the car in reverse, and do it again! :winktongue: lol (just kidding about running her over, but i may cause an "accidental" fender mender with her prized monte carlo:yesnod:!)

[FutureMrsWilson]

I think its great you're thinking about your friend at such an exciting point in your life.

But I also don't think, if she's that great of a friend, you being engaged before her wedding would have any impact on your friendship or the wedding. Even though you probably know some of the same people, everyone at the wedding will be there for her and her hubby - and the attention really won't be for you (I don't think). As long as you don't run around waving your finger in people's faces, I think everything would be kosher. (that sounds more condescending than I intended it to - I just mean, as long as you aren't TRYING to take attention away from her, which you clearly won't since you are already so concerned about her feelings, it will be okay :) )

Yes, its her special day, but if he's ready, he should be allowed to pop the Q. Hope you guys work it out!

In fact - a friend of mine thinks it will be at least a year or longer before she gets engaged. She and her future-fiance want to be married in fall and don't want to be engaged for more than a year - and it won't happen until he gets a promotion which is at least a year away.. Which potentially puts them getting engaged the same Spring i'm getting married. I will be SO happy for her - on my wedding day or any other day. I'm just giddy that she's so happy!

[byrd813]

This is going to turn out like that movie where both girls weddings are booked on the same day ( or something like that) and theyre trying to like, sabotage each other, lol, jk. I think as long as you communicate to her, and let her know, " Hey, i know ur planning, but im gonna do some planning too" As long as theirs an agreement there are no hard feelings, it should be alright.

[bridesmaid101]

This is going to turn out like that movie where both girls weddings are booked on the same day ( or something like that) and theyre trying to like, sabotage each other, lol, jk. I think as long as you communicate to her, and let her know, " Hey, i know ur planning, but im gonna do some planning too" As long as theirs an agreement there are no hard feelings, it should be alright.

Woohoo! He finally proposed!!! We are officially engaged. I debated whether or not to call my friend getting married, and decided it would just be wrong to NOT share my great news with her so I called her shortly after it happened after I called the fam. :-) She was happy for me. We're going to dinner later this week...I promised not to talk about it with her wedding coming up but at least she knows now and I don't have to completely pretend it didn't happen. :-)

PS- he did an AMAZING job with the proposal!! Even though I knew it was coming, I was blown away!! Totally speechless. It's a day I'll remember forever and ever!!!

[melissa1031]

AWW,congrads!!!

I'm glad your friend was happy for you.

[gwenshack]

:congrats2: Glad it all worked out.

[Mrs.Johnson111111]

congrats!!!!! :confetti: I'm glad you told her and everything was ok. You did the right thing:yesnod: