People Inviting Themselves to the Wedding

[leoazinha]

Originally, my fiance and I planned a small wedding (around 60), but it now looks like it will be ninety and counting. My fiance is Brazilian and is very active in his Brazilian church community. Two weeks ago, a woman we had not invited asked me "the ceremony is going to be at 2 pm, right, at ___?" She is a friend of his mother's, but she definitely did not receive an invitation or a verbal invite from his mom. We are now afraid that people from his church who are not invited are going to show up to the reception. What should we do? We have less than three weeks until the wedding, and we don't want to go beyond the budget because people are showing up uninvited.

[gwenshack]

Hi and welcome to OW!

I'm sorry you have worried about people showing up who aren't invited! Isn't there enough stress planning for the guests who ARE invited? :)

How did you handle it with the woman who asked about the time of the wedding?

If you have concerns about this I would first consider talking to his mother to see if that's something that traditionally goes on within their church's community. Then you can at least figure out what you're dealing with.

You could consider having someone at the door with a guest list to make sure that everyone who enters is supposed to be there. It's never fun to turn people away, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do, I guess.

Best of luck!

[lilmsjess]

i agree with gwen! BUT, even if it's tradition, then SOMEONE should have known to add the congregation to the guest list, OR at least tell you MUCH farther in advance...

good luck with everything! sorry you have to experience the stress of this, so close to you and your fh's day!

[sandy03]

Are you having a church wedding? Because if you are, it is considered a public worship service and therefore anyone can come to the ceremony. However, if they have not received a formal invitation, they are not supposed to come to the reception. Most people know and respect this if they choose to come to the ceremony. Just make sure the officiant doesn't make any sort of comment about "joining the bride and groom at the reception" because that is considered a verbal invitation and then you just have to accommodate those that come.

Of course, if you aren't having a ceremony in a church, none of this applies!

[leoazinha]

Thanks for the ideas so far. To answer your questions:

1. When the woman asked for the times, I wanted to check with my fiance first to see if he or his mother had invited the woman without me knowing. I have not seen her since. I was also just taken aback because she had memorized the times exactly while most of our invited guests have misplaced their invitations already.

2. We are having a church wedding. I do not mind if people go to the ceremony since it is at the Catholic church, but we can't really afford the cost and chaos of having uninvited guests at the reception. I will definitely tell the priest not to mention the reception during the ceremony. Thanks for that tip!

Any more ideas? Thanks!