SS marriages & tradition?

[ringme]

Hi,
my gay neighbors got married in CA when it was all legal & good, but then I think it got "repealed" or whatever, which sucks. Anyways, I was interested to see that they exchanged rings, in keeping w/ "tradition".

Do most SS marriages keep with this tradition? what about others?

[Thalia_themuse]

Not all heterosexual marriages exchange rings :winktongue: but I think it is a fairly common practice in general... my parents started wearing wedding bands a long time before they were legally married. It's more a symbol that you are married than anything, IMO.

I don't know figures about SS weddings, but I would guess a lot of couples will exchange rings to show other people they are married, regardless of tradition.

I'm afraid I'm a little confused as to why it's a surprise for an exchange of rings at a wedding..?

[WebLady]

I think the basics of the rings is to symbolize the commitment and marriage, so in that I don't see why it would not be expected that SS couples exchange rings too.

But as mentioned above, not all straight couples exchange rings; my DH and I didn't ;)

[2dBride]

Just a FYI: Your neighbors are still married. The California Supreme Court held that although no new same-sex marriages will be performed in California, those performed before the repeal of Proposition 8 are still valid.

As for us, NotFroofy and I are exchanging rings. The one she is giving me was inherited from NotFroofy's grandmother. When NotFroofy's grandmother got married back in Wales, her husband was just about to leave to join the British forces in India. NotFroofy's grandmother needed to help support her eight younger siblings, and in those days, married women were not allowed to work. Thus, for the first few years of her marriage, she had to keep her marriage a secret, and could only wear her ring on Sundays when she took walks with her mother. The marriage ended up lasting for 50 years, until NotFroofy's grandfather died. I am proud to be receiving a ring with such a history attached.

I didn't have such a family ring to give NotFroofy. However, I was able to find a matching ring that was from the same time period, also from the UK, which had belonged to another couple who had had a long and happy marriage. That is the ring I will give her.

[LuLu86]

Just a FYI: Your neighbors are still married. The California Supreme Court held that although no new same-sex marriages will be performed in California, those performed before the repeal of Proposition 8 are still valid.

As for us, NotFroofy and I are exchanging rings. The one she is giving me was inherited from NotFroofy's grandmother. When NotFroofy's grandmother got married back in Wales, her husband was just about to leave to join the British forces in India. NotFroofy's grandmother needed to help support her eight younger siblings, and in those days, married women were not allowed to work. Thus, for the first few years of her marriage, she had to keep her marriage a secret, and could only wear her ring on Sundays when she took walks with her mother. The marriage ended up lasting for 50 years, until NotFroofy's grandfather died. I am proud to be receiving a ring with such a history attached.

I didn't have such a family ring to give NotFroofy. However, I was able to find a matching ring that was from the same time period, also from the UK, which had belonged to another couple who had had a long and happy marriage. That is the ring I will give her.

oh thats an awesome story!! thats cool u found her a vintage one too! im sure it has a buncha history with it but the most important thing is that yawl are adding ur own history to them both! :)

[2dBride]

For those who asked for a picture of the rings, here you go!

http://s89575357.onlinehome.us/2RingsSmall.jpg

[DereksLove]

That's such a great story, 2bBride! I love hearing romantic stories like that. ^_^ I've read a couple of other things posted by you as well and I can't wait to hear more! I also can't wait to see the pics of the club-made-reception-hall!

:D

[skolapper]

im for it... everyone is different... they should do wut feels right for them... not wut society says...

[Invitations4LessJoyce]

I think, as with any wedding, it's up to the couple to decide whether or not they will exchange rings. However, I've read that in some cases, same-sex couples choose to exchange rings and wear them on their right hand-ring finger to signify the differences from traditional heterosexual weddings or perhaps keep their ring's significant more personal and/or private.

[princessbridezilla]

i think it depends mostly on the individual couple's background/culture/religion. nowadays, even though all religions don't do same sex ceremonies, couples still choose to do civil ceremonies that incorporate their families' traditions. same with interfaith marriages.

i'm pretty sure most marriage ceremonies traditionally include some sort of exchange of valuables- rings, dowry, goats, etc.- probably an ancient symbolic gesture from before humans started making written contracts.

[2dBride]

princessbridezilla, my ex-husband and I still joke that he probably owes me several goats, based on the Aramaic of our ketubah (which neither of us can read).

[princessbridezilla]

princessbridezilla, my ex-husband and I still joke that he probably owes me several goats, based on the Aramaic of our ketubah (which neither of us can read).

:rofl: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[princessbridezilla]

i just thought of something- since some places don't allow same sex weddings, there are many couples doing destination weddings. i don't mean your typical caribbean resort (i think some of those countries it is still illegal to be gay). for example i live in toronto canada. we were one of the first places to legalize ss marriages and i remember serving a couple weddings of men who had come up from the states.

[2dBride]

Yes, when we got married, we had to do it in Massachusetts, since none of the states in our area allow same-sex marriage. This was definitely a challenge. Neither of us has family in Massachusetts, and we arrived only a day and a half before the wedding, so pretty much everything had to be done long-distance. And because Massachusetts normally has a three-day waiting period for a marriage license, we had to get special court permission to get ours the same day.i just thought of something- since some places don't allow same sex weddings, there are many couples doing destination weddings. i don't mean your typical caribbean resort (i think some of those countries it is still illegal to be gay). for example i live in toronto canada. we were one of the first places to legalize ss marriages and i remember serving a couple weddings of men who had come up from the states.