Bad Day

[racecargirl]

It's only 8am and I'm already having a bad day. My best friend had her phone stolen so I can't vent to her, so I hope that you guys don't mind me venting to you.

My FH get's to 'work from home' today, which means he'll probably spend an hour on his computer today. I don't know of anyone who gets as many benefits as he does. So I get ready to leave this morning and I ask if he needs to be up at a certain time. He says no, so I say, so I guess you really don't have to work today. He gets mad at me and starts yelling how I don't understand his work and on and on and on. Well, I have to go to work everyday and work normal hours and I don't get to leave early unless I've worked extra hours or I went in early that day, so NO I don't understand! And yes I'm jealous as hell when you get to stay at home and in bed. Ok, and two weeks ago he was on vacation for eight days. He gets six weeks of vacation a year. I don't know anyone who get's that much vacation time.

So I'm at work waiting for other people to send me information so I can get stuff done, while my FH is in bed at home. I know this shouldn't even bother me, but it really does at this moment.

This is the email I sent to him this morning:

Sorry if I made you mad this morning. I don't always understand how you can work from home. You have a lot of benefits that I have never seen, nor will ever see in my life. And I'm not trying to downplay your job at all. I'm sure it's very demanding. The maximum of time off I will ever have is four weeks. I will never get to work from home. Most likely it will be that I have a day off and still have to do work. If I take off early it's because I either was at work early or I worked extra hours and can take off early. So, yes, sometimes it's hard to understand how you can work from home and get to sleep in and only work part of the day. I've never been at a job where I could do that, and no matter how hard I work at a job I will never have that luxery. Your company is really unique in many aspects, most company's don't give as much time off as yours does - at least none that I've worked for, you have mentioned before that if you go into work and go home sick you don't have to take any leave, I have never worked for a company that allows that, and I have never worked for a company where if I didn't have much to do that day I could work from home. Nor have I known very many people who's company did allow any of that. I just hope you realize how lucky you are. And please don't tell me it's because you've been there for however many years or because of your title in the company, because even if I was here for six plus years and I had moved up in rank, I still wouldn't have those benefits. It's the company you work for. I know it's not your fault that that's the way your company works and I shouldn't get jealous. But I do sometimes. I'm human. Forgive me.

He'll probably get mad at it and yell at me, but it's how i really feel.

[racecargirl]

Ok, I know this was stupid to even get into an arguement about. I don't know what's with me lately. I really haven't felt like myself for about a month now.

[CindySue]

#1.....Wedding stress can turn the sweetest girl into a demon. Trust me on this!!!
#2....Whether you should get jealous or not, H3LL I would! Maybe its not fair, but I would probably not like Brian satying home in bed while I had to go to work. But :bbredface: he has to do that when he has to work on Saturdays. I get up make the coffee and go back to bed. (Yeah, he gets a little jealous too!)
#3....Honey, that is the benefits (and the attraction) of working from home. I would love to do it sometimes, but I need a break from my kids. If you really want the same benefits, have you looked into what was available for you to do at home?
#4....In your email you told him you were jealous. If he can out himself in your shoes and hopefully understand, then he shouldnt get mad. Hopefully, this will give you an opportunity to talk.
#5....Hey, be glad hes home though! Brian was talking about a job he had once where he was out of town 6 days of the week. I told him we would NOT be taking any jobs that took us off like that.
Good Luck!

[racecargirl]

I would love to find a job where I could work from home, but there really isn't much out there in the field I'm in. But truthfully I love the job I'm in right now. I have a great boss, and I have good hours.

The company he works for has the best benefits I've ever seen. He is off pretty much every Friday by noon, or he works from home on Fridays.
It just irritates me to get up on a Friday and he's still in bed. I think if it wasn't so often it wouldn't bother me so much, but it's pretty much every week.

He's not the type of person who can put themselves in other peoples shoes, so I have a feeling he won't understand where I'm coming from. He's one of these my way or the highway and I won't see any other way kind of guys. It really infuriates me sometimes.

And right now I'm under a lot of stress, I'm under deadlines at work, I'm dealing with family issues, wedding stuff, and relationship issues. Lately I feel like a crazy person.

I know there are a lot of people who have it much worse out there too, so I feel really bad about going on and on about something as stupid as my FH still being in bed this morning. It's sending me over the edge for some reason.

[CindySue]

Sweetie, everybody has stress get to them sometimes. Ask everyone on here. We have all had our moments where we were about to go postal. It will get better though.

[MOB Karen]

I can understand to a certain point, but this is how I feel about this situation. I wouldn't care if he slept in every day, I wouldn't care if he got off work early some days and I didn't, I wouldn't care if he got 6 weeks a year to my 4. What I would care about is if he didn't have a job. And he was sleeping in because he didn't have anywhere to go that day. If he is gainfully employed, I would be thrilled that one of us had a such a great job!!

Those types of jobs are few and far between too, and if I was him, I would never lose that job either. He is extremely fortunate! If I were you, I would make it a point to get a great job like he has, and then you both can sleep in, and take those 6 weeks off together. Good luck!!:)

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ok this is JMO. You shouldn't be jealous. Jealousy is bad for the soul, it's bad for a lot of things and I don't think this is something to be jealous over. THis is the guy you are going to marry and you get mad at him because he has this fantastic job? OK that so does not make sense to me!!!!!!! Ok my hubby had to get up at 6 every morning, while I could sleep in, stay at home all day, and go on the computer when I wanted but did he get jealous? Hell no. He knew what he had to do, and I know what I have to do. How can you get jealous of someone who you say you love? Again my opinion only. BUt it's like Karen said, you shouldn't be jealous, you should be happy that he has such a fantastic job and that HE HAS A JOB most importantly. Case in point, my mom supports my dad...is she jealous that she works herself to the bone and my dad trots off to an easy job? The answer is no, because she knows that in the past, Dad supported her and it's not about that. Maybe in the future the same may be true for the 2 of you!

What I am saying is, that if you are going to be petty over how much he works, what are you going to do in the future? Will you keep score on how many diapers he changes and how many you do? (That is if you have children) Will you let this take you over and consume you and ruin your relationship? Is it really something you should be jealous for? OR should you be happy that he has such a nice job, with great opurtunities?

All I am saying is that it seems a little petty to me to be jealous and fire off emails like that, when he has a good job like that. If you don't like your job don't take it out on him, find yourself one just as good as he has!! Or accept that he gets all of these wonderful (And that's what they are!!) benefits and enjoy your life together! :)

[racecargirl]

Like I said. Stupid reason to get jealous and I haven't been before. I haven't really been myself lately and I'm not even really sure why I got jealous about it.

Then I just got a call. We have 4 cars and a small driveway. This morning I had to move his car behind his truck. Apparently when I moved the car I hit his truck. Supposedly there's paint missing and scratches, and I have no idea how that's possible because I didn't feel any kind of impact. But he called me at work to give me a hard time about it.

[CindySue]

Like I said. Stupid reason to get jealous and I haven't been before. I haven't really been myself lately and I'm not even really sure why I got jealous about it.

Then I just got a call. We have 4 cars and a small driveway. This morning I had to move his car behind his truck. Apparently when I moved the car I hit his truck. Supposedly there's paint missing and scratches, and I have no idea how that's possible because I didn't feel any kind of impact. But he called me at work to give me a hard time about it.
When we are planning weddings there are times we dont even recognize ourselves......
About the truck........is he positive that it happened this morning? I mean, is there scratches on BOTH vehicles?

[racecargirl]

I don't know. I tried to tell him that I didn't think I hit it. It's hard to tell on the car. It's my old car and we nicknamed it the purple golf ball because it has sooo much hail damage. Even if I bumped it, I don't see how it would cause scratches. Paint chipping maybe. When I got out of the car I was close, but I wasn't touching his truck. I don't know. Not really something I needed at work though.

[racecargirl]

Well, I talked to him. Apologized about this morning and the email. He still thinks I hit the truck though. Apparently I've been a crazy person for the last month and he's been afraid to tell me. He didn't take this morning too personally because he knows I'm not normally like that. I just hope I can get back to normal. If he thinks I've been crazy then I have to wonder what other people think. I think I need a vacation.

[CindySue]

Well, I talked to him. Apologized about this morning and the email. He still thinks I hit the truck though. Apparently I've been a crazy person for the last month and he's been afraid to tell me. He didn't take this morning too personally because he knows I'm not normally like that. I just hope I can get back to normal. If he thinks I've been crazy then I have to wonder what other people think. I think I need a vacation.
Brian thought I went temporarily insane too, and was scared to tell me a few things. I blamed it on the wedding. I dont think a lot of people realize how stressful one can be. Add that to your everyday stress and youre really in trouble.
Good luck!

[cowboysbride]

Eric thinks I'm a few bricks shy of a load right now too...he's babying me thru it...it'll get better in about 3 minutes and then worse in about 10...LOL welcome to the seesaw of wedding stress!

[cowboysbride]

Brian thought I went temporarily insane too, and was scared to tell me a few things. I blamed it on the wedding. I dont think a lot of people realize how streeful one can be. Add that to your everyday stress and youre really in trouble.
Good luck!

LOL tell him to be glad it's just a few scratches what I did to my truck Wednesday requires Body Work! It'll get better sweetie, try and breathe and remember don't sweat the small stuff and it's ALL small stuff...what I'm saying is he has a job (Karen is right) jealousy and bickering will ruin your relationship (Shawna is right) and this will pass, Cindy and I are both great examples of that!

Breathe and smile!

[WhiskeyGirl]

LOL tell him to be glad it's just a few scratches what I did to my truck Wednesday requires Body Work! It'll get better sweetie, try and breathe and remember don't sweat the small stuff and it's ALL small stuff...what I'm saying is he has a job (Karen is right) jealousy and bickering will ruin your relationship (Shawna is right) and this will pass, Cindy and I are both great examples of that!

Breathe and smile!

I'm an example that this stress passes too! We almost called our wedding off two days before it thanks to FIL. Luckily he bucked up and we ignored him!!!

[CindySue]

I'm an example that this stress passes too! We almost called our wedding off two days before it thanks to FIL. Luckily he bucked up and we ignored him!!!
It became a joke between me and Brian everytime we bickered over who would call the wedding off "this time". Somehow we made it through and are happily married!