My 3 Families...

[kevinsbride2B]

When I was a kid my mom divorced my biological father in a NASTY divorce and custody battle. He eventually gave up all rights to me. My Mom ended up re marrying my step Dad. I was very close to him growing up, but then my Mom and step Dad divorced as well and it wasn't very pretty either.
Now that I'm getting married I have these 3 families involved and NONE of them get along. Actually, I'm surprised a lawyer isn't still present when there all around.
My mom and I are close. She's even the one walkign me down the aisle. But as for the other 2 I don't know what to do. The palce is goign to be FILLED with tension. I know that it's my day and I shouldn't have to worry anout it, but I know weird it's goignt o be with the 3 of them there. My step Dad I think could be easily controlled. Just sit him with some friends, not family. But my biological father has a wife and 2 sons. I carely know them, and what I do know about them is that I never get along overly well. But he is my dad.
I don't know how I should handle this!!! How do I tell my biological Dad, sorry but your not coming!
Plus the issue of cost coems up. I don't really know these people and that's 4+ people I would have to have there that would just cause issues.
Oh man! I've been dreading this since I was a little girl!:bbconfused:

[AngelinLove]

All I can really say is that my biological fatehr is in prisona nd has been since I was 17, plus he was there from the time I was 2-7 as well. His family is full of drama and controversy..they are alcoholics, or drug addicts, liers, theives, you name it, they got one!!! Now, I was raised with these people, but I am not inviting a single one to my wedding. In a way it hurts, because I don't have much family on my mom's side, but at the same time, it is my weddinga dn I don't want to invite anyone who might ruin my day....just because I feel obligated. I don't see this people on a regualr basis...hell some of them i havn't seen since my mom's funeral in 2001. I don't want nor need the drama!!! My advice is for you to do what makes you happy...and if that is invitinng the...well then do it and tell your mother, father, step-father and step-mother that they are adults and you expect them to act that way or not to come!!!! If you don't feel like you really want your father there...then don't invite him!!!!

[Kacie_bride]

Just because someone is family does not mean you have to invite them. Now, if you truely want them there that is another story. I would suggest having them sit at opposite sides of the room. Talk with them each separately beforehand and let them know that you will not tolerate any unacceptable behavior. I hope it all works out for you.

[MOB Karen]

I would not invite anyone to my wedding, that will cause drama and tension. Weddings are supposed to be happy, joyous times!! If you think for one minute that they will ruin that atmosphere for you, then don't invite them. It's your day, and you want people there that are going to love and support you. Not people that are so concerned about their own problems, that they would be willing to ruin your wedding because of it. Good luck on whatever decision you make!!:)

[Jenn060306]

Divorced families at weddings are tough. I had alot of the same concerns you have at my wedding. My DH's parents are divorced and his mother absoultly hates his father and hates his new wife even more. There was a little tension, but everyone put on a smile for Mark and i. Our wedding day was about us not them.
If you feel like this will really be a problem then talk to everyone about how they will behave on your wedding day. Don't sit them anywhere near eachother. They should all behave like adults and put their feelings aside for the day because they care about you.
As for your biological father. I'm not sure what to tell you about telling him he's not invited. Personally i think intiving him is better. But i would only invite him not his new family since you don't know them at all.

Best of luck with everything!

[neeni13]

Do let them know you are getting married and to meet your fiance. He is still your father. And Step dad half raised you too.
You may go for the option of announcements of your marriage sent out the day you get married.

[rainbowtreat]

I have a similar situation. My mom and my real dad were never married and seperated before I was a year old I think. I thought my sisters dad was my dad untill I was 8 yrs old when I met my real dad. Well my mom and my step-dad divorced when I was veryyoung but I still concider him my step dad. My mom was remarried about 2 yrs after my first marriage. For my first wedding I had both my dad and my (ex) step dad walk me down the aisle. And they were both great with it. No bad feelins or anything.

This time I had my mom walk me down the aisle. She derseved it. She has been the only one there for me all my life.

It is harder when they dont get along but they have to remember that this is yoru day and they need to be adults about the whole thing.

My freind just got married about a month ebfore me. Her mom and dad just got a divorce and her mom got a restraining order on her dad. They had it lifted for this one day and they both stood with her to giver he away. They even walked in together to be annouced as her parents for the reception. We were all amazed at how well they did. They didnt speak to each other unless they had to and they were not neat each other unless they needed to be. But you would have never known it was as bad between them by looking at them on that day. So needless to say if they cant be adults about it then maybe they shouldnt be there.

Good luck.

[AngelinLove]

My freind just got married about a month ebfore me. Her mom and dad just got a divorce and her mom got a restraining order on her dad. They had it lifted for this one day and they both stood with her to giver he away. They even walked in together to be annouced as her parents for the reception. We were all amazed at how well they did. They didnt speak to each other unless they had to and they were not neat each other unless they needed to be. But you would have never known it was as bad between them by looking at them on that day. So needless to say if they cant be adults about it then maybe they shouldnt be there.

That is exactly how adults should handle the situation and I completely agree that if they are going to be unable to do this...then they shouldn't be there!!!