Emotional Health - I choose to be happy

[WebLady]

This is something I posted on my MySpace blog after a little convo with a friend today. I wasn't sure where to put it then thought maybe it fit here as an emotional health topic ;)

Anyway I thought I would share here ...

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Some people may say that happiness is an emotion, not a choice. The way I see it happiness is how we react to pleasant things in our life. So you can choose to be happy no matter what happens in your life.

If someone kicks you in the face or something, sure you are not going to be happy about that happening, but you can decide not to let it ruin your day. I think it is all in how you look at life and how you let things affect you.

Sure we all have bad days and sometimes cr@ppy things happen that we can't control. But we can control how we choose to let them affect us in general; it has to be a conscious thing and it can be hard sometimes.

In general this is how I try to be; I try to just be happy, positive and thankful for the good I have in my life rather than to dwell on the bad and/or the things I don't have. I am certainly not saying I am this way all time or that I don't want for better things or that I am not sad when things don't go my way or whatever. But I do try to be positive and remember it could always be worse and I try not to let the bad get to me for too long.

So I am not saying that when we or someone we love are hurt or when we loose someone or whatever that we should not feel bad; sadness is a natural emotion. But I am talking about living life in general ... you can be a generally happy person or you can let every little thing life throws at you make you a sad, angry, bitter, "woe is me", type person all the time. The latter is no fun for you or the people around you.


Hate is similar; you can feel hate someone that wrongs you in some way or hate that something bad happened or whatever, but if you let the hate consume you that can be a bad thing. When you can let go of the hate then you usually feel better; you can still not like the person or the situation or whatever. You don't have to really forgive or forget, but you are not letting it get the best of you and ruin your life.


Love is a little trickier, but I will try to explain how this can be a choice too ... I think we love because of how we bond with people; family, friends and lovers. But if those people don't return the love, I believe we can choose to do what is better for us and try to move on. Why obsess over something/someone that is only going to hurt us? It is not real love in my opinion if it is one sided. We may still care about someone, but if they don't love or care about us the same way, then we may be choosing to put ourselves in a situation of emotional pain. We can't make someone love us.

I think this may have something to do with my faith too and that I believe everything happens for a reason; even if we never figure out what that reason is. Maybe it is suppose to make us stronger or teach us something, or maybe there is something bigger at play that we may never know or are not suppose to know.

Whatever it is, I believe it is how we deal with what happens to us is what makes us who we are; good or bad. Sometimes it takes some time to get over a rough situation ... sometimes the whole positive thing is a daily challenge ... but at least we can try it and not let it the bad stuff get the best of us :)
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You can agree or disagree, but lets not make this a heated debate; I will not respond to any jabs :p

[amisteratwisterandme]

Brandi,

I agree with you whole heartedly! Being happy is a state of mind, as well as being angry and resentful is.

I get a lot of flack when I say that love is a choice. But to me it is. I can choose to love my fh even when I want to ring his neck, or I can choose not to feel love for him, and risk that becoming more of a permanent state.

Just wanted to add something to this that I learned the hard way: When you allow someone else to rule your emotions, happy, sad, angry, hurt, resentful, loving ect. you allow them to control aspects of your life. For example. all the years I was angry and resentful of my dad, I did things trying to be totally different than he would. I would choose guys that were the total opposite of him, I would walk around saying that all guys are *********, I wouldn't trust relationships, cuz after all, if my DAD could leave me, what would stop anyone else. When I "forgave" him to myself, an entire world opened up to me!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[savepaws]

I agree also! I tend to let negative things affect me more than they should but I'm working on it!

[WebLady]

Brandi,

I agree with you whole heartedly! Being happy is a state of mind, as well as being angry and resentful is.

I get a lot of flack when I say that love is a choice. But to me it is. I can choose to love my fh even when I want to ring his neck, or I can choose not to feel love for him, and risk that becoming more of a permanent state.

Just wanted to add something to this that I learned the hard way: When you allow someone else to rule your emotions, happy, sad, angry, hurt, resentful, loving ect. you allow them to control aspects of your life. For example. all the years I was angry and resentful of my dad, I did things trying to be totally different than he would. I would choose guys that were the total opposite of him, I would walk around saying that all guys are *********, I wouldn't trust relationships, cuz after all, if my DAD could leave me, what would stop anyone else. When I "forgave" him to myself, an entire world opened up to me!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
:grinhappy:

Yeah I have had some things happen and had some people in my life that I could have let make be a much different person (and for a while they did), but I decided I wasn't going to let these things/these people do that to me :frogg:

Glad you let the bad go too :flower:

I agree also! I tend to let negative things affect me more than they should but I'm working on it!I think we all let things get to us from time to time. It can be a constant struggle, but as long as we work on it a little at a time we usually feel better for it :)

I find that when I get around negative people more than usual that I tend to let it affect me more than I should. When I distance myself from these people I feel better. Sometimes it is hard to escape them so that is where it has to be a conscious effort and can be a struggle.

PMS makes it hard sometimes too ;)

[amisteratwisterandme]

:grinhappy:

PMS makes it hard sometimes too ;)

Ha ha! I was going to say EXCEPT for that one day a month where ANYONE who talks to me ticks me off, I am pretty laid back! I haven't figured out how to master that yet, but at least now I can tell when that day is coming and beg for forgiveness BEFORE I upset someone else.:bbredface: