Romance troubles

[amster85]

I am worried about my wedding, my fiance and I are having our 8th year anniversary tomorrow and over the past couple years our romantic drive has gone down hill to a sudden halt. I don't know how he feels but I find myself in constant jealousy whenever I see other couples doing sweet things together and being romantic.We have had our share of fights over the years, almost to the point of breaking up but we are still happy and in love, there's just something missing. If you have any ideas of how to spruce things up please let me know..besides sexy underwear and what not..

I am getting desperate to find our romance again. I think it's like we have ran out of things to do special together or something. When we go out with friends or just out in general I feel like I'm just his friend rather than girlfriend these days, I don't want there to be no sparks on our wedding day. I been dieting lately to try and look my best for our wedding next June and any thing I can think of in case its an attraction problem but I don't think it is because we have a great sex life. Is there anything I can do to make our wedding day more special since we have had sex already?

[WebLady]

I would think to just try to spend some time alone together. Do things you enjoy together; talk about things you enjoy, talk about how you feel and ask him how he feels, try not to talk about the wedding.

:goodluck:

[Heywie]

First of all, I think you should try to plan date nights once or twice a month to help spruce things up. You don't have to spend lots of money or anything, but just plan something. Make it just about the two of you. Have a candlelit dinner at home or go play mini-golf. Something fun. Or, try to rekindle that flame you had by planning nostalgic walks down memory lane. Where did you have your first date?

Above all else, talk about it! If this is bothering you, your FH should know about it! Maybe he feels the same way or maybe he's just comfy with you and doesn't realize you feel this way!

About the wedding day, it will be special no matter what you do! This is the day you are committing completely to one another. It's not about the sex! It's about your committment to your relationship and your vow to honor each other for the rest of your lives! Just enjoy the day and everything that comes with it!

[gwenshack]

My DH and I are best friends - and most times we act like 8 year old boys together - but on our wedding day we completely got swept up in the romantic moment. So don't worry about the wedding day - I think that comes naturally. :)

As for the rest of the time - you guys have to make an effort - you need to think about the stuff that made your heart jump when you all just got together. It sounds like you all have just gotten too comfortable and have forgotten what it felt like to date. Hold hands in a movie theater. Cuddle on the couch. Take a walk together and just enjoy talking to one another. It doesn't have to be all sparks all the time though! :)

[mj512]

Maybe try to start doing some simple things together. Go for walks, have a picnic, sleep in and stay in bed all day watching tv/movies (a favorite of mine) - sometimes the simple things really can bring you closer.

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

Im in the same rut!

[Danielle9608]

Try having a regular date night. Dh and I have a set Friday date night a week. Like others said it doesn't have to cost much but make sure that night is only for you and him. Also don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Surprise him with a home cooked dinner, or pack him a nice lunch with a love note. Once Dh left flowers in my car while I was at work. They were wilted by the time I got out there but the gesture was sweet.

[WBandMe]

I think the most important thing is to talk to him about it. Heywie brought up a good point--he might not even realize there is an issue, and it will be hard for you guys to try to fix something if you don't both realize there is something to fix!

But, beyond that, experts say that if you do something new to both of you together, it can bring you closer. It doesn't have to be anything crazy like BASE jumping, but just something new, that feels new. Like... a couple of years ago FH and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant together. We'd never had it before and honestly didn't exactly know what to expect... but not only did we really enjoy the meal, but it's something special that we still talk about sometimes.

It's easy to get stuck in a rut if you do the same thing day in, day out, so spice it up. Some of the other suggestions have been really good too... why not stay in bed one day or take a bubble bath together or just something out of the ordinary?

If you guys are still completely in love and have a strong sex life, then I don't think your non-romance problem indicates anything seriously wrong with the relationship... you just need a little creativity!

[amisteratwisterandme]

All of the ladies on here gave you great advice. The only thing I have to offer is maybe massages? I give fh a back massage at least once a week, sometimes more, and it is just a quiet time that we spend together. He gets a chance to relax, and I get a chance to spoil him some.

We also spend a fair amount of time telling each other how we feel about the other. We never say "I love you" casually. It is always full on eye contact. If we are in separate rooms doing things, one of us always gets up and goes to the other just for a hug or a kiss.

I don't think it is about how you look at all. My ugliest moments are fh's favorite for some reason. My hair can be on all ends, and I could be wearing holey shorts and he tells me I am beautiful.

We go out to eat, and hold hands across the table or he sits next to me until the meal comes out. We hold hands in the car. There have been a few times when I have hugged him half-heatedly, and I have to stop myself
and pull him close for a hug that means something. I hold on to him and think about how thankful I am that this man is in my life and how happy we are.

Hope this helps.