Wedding Traditions

[usahgrad]

I've been looking for some interesting traditions to incorporate into my wedding. There's a few I like, however, I've run into a dilemma with one and I'd like some other ideas.

My fiance and I both have Scottish heritage and would like to do a binding ceremony. The problem is if we do it at the wedding, how do we dance with other people at the reception? Could we do it at the reception? If so, when?

The other tradition that interested me was paying to dance with the bride or groom at the reception. My problem with this is, how do you ask someone to pay for a dance? And how much is each dance worth? I get the idea of it and being very poor and broke, it's rather appealling. Any suggestions?

Also, any other traditions? Please don't tell me about the tradition of throwing shoes...that one's been nixed...lol.

[wedbyjean]

binding ceremony. The problem is if we do it at the wedding, how do we dance with other people at the reception?
You don't remain tied together after the binding ceremony is completed, if that's why you're concerned about being able to dance with others.

paying to dance with the bride or groom at the reception Paying to dance with the bride or groom is called the dollar dance or the money dance. In some cultures, (Polish, and I believe Mexican), this is commonly done, so the guests will know what to expect and what to do. For others who are not familiar with this at all -- their reaction can be anywhere from, "I'm game -- let's do it," to "They're asking us to PAY to dance with them???"If your guests are familiar with this tradition, or would be open to doing so without feeling put upon, then go ahead and have a dollar dance if you choose. However, doing a dollar dance for the sole purpose to get money is the wrong reason to do this.

A dollar dance is fairly simple and works like this: the guests who want to participate get into two lines, one to dance with the bride, the other with the groom. Someone (often the MOH and best man) collect the money, $1 per person (unless they want to give more). They dance with the B or G, and soon after the next person in line cuts in, and gets to dance.

Jean Neuhart
Weddings From The Heart

[usahgrad]

I believe a true binding ceremony can only be released after the couple has consummated their wedding, which won't be happening between the wedding and reception.

[wedbyjean]

The binding is removed right after the couple completes the ritual as it is explained in the enclosed website on "Hand Fasting".

http://www.ravenquest.net/WyldeWoods/handfasting.html

Jean

[ndsimm]

for most of the weddings that I have done, the dollar dance is common but the DJ really has to do a good job of setting it up and getting the people to participate. 90% of the time I have seen it, it was successful and people always give more than a dollar

[LaceyinPgh]

As for the binding ceremony, you could always update it for the 20th century by unbinding yourself after the ceremony. I don't think anyone will truly be offended if you did that.

As for the dollar dance... I have never been to a wedding without one. A great way to get people involved is to offer them a shot of Jack Daniels or Schnapps while they are waiting to dance. No one can get a party going like Jack! So what happens is the DJ calls for the dollar dance. People line up to dance with either the bride or the groom. They drop their dollar, get their shot, and after a minute cut in and dance. At weddings I have been to usually the best man and maid of honor handle it. Don't think of it as a way to collect a dollar from each guest, but a minute or two of real quality time with people that care about you.

Just a word of caution though. My best friend got married several years ago. The grooms mother put $20 in the basket and demanded her 20 shots of Peach Schnapps. And, yes she drank almost all 20 of them too. After which she removed her panty hose on my friends mother's patio where they were having the reception and then turned around and vomitted in the hot tub. Shortly afterwards she passed out.

[usahgrad]

Well, as for the dollar dance, we won't have to worry about the shots. I don't want alcohol at my wedding for the specific reason that I don't want drunks at my wedding. Is it still applicable if they're not paying for shots? :)

[LaceyinPgh]

I don't see where that would be a problem. Maybe you could offer something else like a piece of candy or a bite sized appetizer like an oyster. A resturant that I enjoy offers an appetizer called a shrimp shooter. It is a shot glass with a little bit of Bloody Mary in it. In the glass is a jumbo cocktail shrimp and a small piece of celery. You eat the shrimp, knock back the Bloody Mary, and then eat the celery. That would be easy to do, just leave the vodka out of the mix. You would want to get a good quality mix with a little kick to it.

But then again you don't have to offer them anything. their little pay back could be a minute od alone time with a gorgeous bride!

[usahgrad]

Hehe...well that's the hope. I'm going to bounce it off of my fiance. Thanks again for all your advice. We both really liked the idea of the flower with the empty chair. I was looking at pictures of my brother's wedding and I was thinking about the chair next to my mother (where my aunt was sitting). I'm definitely going to do that.