To wear moms wedding dress or not?

[ladymalady]

so as the title sugest im in a slight pickle about wearing my moms old wedding dress.

i dont find it all to appealing or close to my style.

im debating on wearing it for just the ceremony and then change into either a simple semi formal dress or another wedding dress that i am in love with.

suggestions?

[ladymalady]

http://co117w.col117.mail.live.com/att/GetAttachment.aspx?tnail=4&messageId=9fb5e013-96ec-43fe-95b9-0aba3669d4fc&Aux=44|0|8CB9FBC02E6B9F0| My moms dress

[Whitewater]

Is your mom insisting? Is it a tradition? Do you want to wear your mom's dress?

Why are you of two minds? What do YOU want to do? After all, it's your day -- to be blunt, your mom's time as a bride is over. She doesn't get to play dictator.

As a compromise, maybe you could use the material in your mom's dress to wrap your bouquet, or make a shrug or a bolero jacket for your dress? That way, you could still do the nod to your mom's dress while still getting to wear a dress that you like.

(and if you were trying to attach a picture, I couldn't see it. Sorry!)


Whitewater

[WebLady]

http://co117w.col117.mail.live.com/att/GetAttachment.aspx?tnail=4&messageId=9fb5e013-96ec-43fe-95b9-0aba3669d4fc&Aux=44|0|8CB9FBC02E6B9F0| My moms dress
This link didn't work; try attaching the image to the post or upload to a site like Photobucket :)

As for your dilemma; I can only assume your mother wants you to wear the dress?

Maybe you can have it altered to better suit your style ... or maybe have a piece of her dress sewn into the new dress you will wear or like mentioned above, wrap it around your bouquet or something.

Or maybe just tell her it is not your style; while you appreciate the sentimental thing, you have another idea in mind for your dream wedding dress.

[savepaws]

Without knowing more information, I say wear what makes you happy. It's your day!

[MrsDM]

-- to be blunt, your mom's time as a bride is over.

Whitewater

I agree, unless its something that you want as well, I guess I would opt for another alternative to using her dress. The ladies had some great ideas.

You know, you did mention that it isn't your style. Without knowing how old you are, and when your mom got married, some wedding dresses date worse/better than others. Be careful!

Good luck with whatever you decide, I'm sure you will look beautiful regardless!

[WBandMe]

If it's not your taste, don't wear it. You don't want to look back at your wedding pictures and regret it.

[ladymalady]

thank you everyone.

and i will 21 when im married.
sorry the photo didnt come up.. hmmm http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/95/l_6b68dcfd5cfe464c9e2fbb97bd3035c5.jpg hopefully the picture comes up this time.


and ill deffinatly take into consideration all the advice. i think i could incorperate her dress somehow, i like that idea.

thank you everyone

[Kfancii]

I wore my Mom's wedding dress for my first wedding and at the time I was really happy to do so. The dress was beautiful and it meant alot to me to wear it. Not 5 years into my first marriage, my Mom and Dad divorced, then 6 years later my husband and I divorced. It wasn't because of the dress, but I don't think I would choose to wear my Mom's dress again if I were doing it all over.

In fact, when I married my DH almost a year ago, I looked for new dresses, but we decided to elope and skip the whole wedding fuss, so I got married in a simple everyday dress and have no regrets! Do what makes you happy and wear what makes you feel like the beautiful bride you are.

[animal.crackers]

Could you somehow incorporate the lace into your dress? You should wear something you feel beautiful in, but if it's important to your mom or you to pass on the dress, maybe you could have a dress made with some of the fabric? Or a lace bolero jacket like someone else suggested?

[MrsDM]

What about taking your mom's dress to a dress maker and having her alter it into something more your style? You would still be wearing your mom's dress, but with your own taste incorporated.

[ChristineLS]

What don't you like about that dress? I was looking at it, and I figured that to make that dress my style (for instance) I'd need to take off the sleeves and add some more opaque fabric to the torso. Which are all possible alterations. Would a similar thought process transform the dress into something more of your liking?

[Kate7950]

hrmm I dont know thats a tough one. I personally want to wear my own...even though my mother would love it if I wore hers (I am probably going to use her vail though)...and she understands that I want my own. My parents got married in 1978 so her dress is very 70s.

Like others suggested maybe you can alter her dress to suit what you want. It is a very pretty gown.

[Kerri78]

I think it's a nice tradition to wear your mom's dress, but I'm not going to wear my mom's. It's an old style and I've already found dresses that I love. I would go with trying to incorporate it somehow other than just wearing it.

[gwenshack]

I think you need to follow your heart on this. If you don't want to wear your mother's gown (and the pic you posted showed a dress that is beautiful but definitely a bit out of style) and do not want to try to alter it to make it more "You", then you should just tell your mom that you love her and want to honor her in some way - perhaps borrow a piece of her jewelry? - but that you just don't think that dress is the "ONE" for you. Since she got her own dress back when she got married, I can't see how she couldn't understand how you're feeling. Maybe show her some pictures of dresses that interest you and tell her that her imput is important and you'd love to have her go shopping with you.
Good luck to you! Hope you end up with the dress you've always wanted!

[RosieAngel]

This looks a lot like my mom's dress! (She got married in 1982). I... know I shouldn't be saying this, but, while I loved playing dress-up in Mom's old dress when I was 6, I wouldn't want to wear it to my actual wedding, either. :purplex:

Will your mom get her feelings hurt if you say that you want to wear a different dress on your wedding day? If he will, maybe you can weasel yourself out of wearing it by incorporating it into the decor, hanging it up on a pretty satin hanger (in your wedding colors, of course) behind the cake table or something? :innocent:

Good luck with this! But seriously, don't wear it if you don't want to.