A Question for Karen or anyone who can help

[cowboysbride]

I have found out that some of Eric's older family members are planning on pulling a prank on us after we get back from our short honeymoon trip the weekend of the wedding...they are calling is Chivery (I dont know if that's how its spelled but that's what it sounds like they are saying)...what it consists of is coming into the house in the wee hours of the morning and basically kidnapping us and putting me in a tub of ice water and tieing Eric to a pole...and riding us around in the back of a truck for the whole neighborhood to see...now this PISSED me off...first off you come into MY house without me knowing it and you better be wearing bullet proof armour. Second, this is CRUEL...I don't give a rats a$$ who thinks it's funny, this aint 1886 and we aren't ma and pa Kettle back in the hollar!!!!!!!!

My question is.........since you seem to have found all this wedding traditions and folklore have you run across anything like this or does anyone know WTF they are talking about...I love Eric's family but some of the older ones are a might hard to put up with and what they might think is funny I view as an invasion of privacy and just plain cruel.

I have voiced my opinion about it and his dumb a$$ BIL thinks its funny and his sister is all for it (because I think she has a bone to pick with me). They does this and I will come unglued.

Someone please tell me if you've ever heard of it. Eric is fuming about it and he knows if it takes place there will be HELL to pay.

[MOB Karen]

I have never heard of it in my life, and I agree with you, they have no business doing that to you when you have specifically requested them not to. I don't think there is anything funny about humiliation and degradation, and that's all this is. You're right, it sounds like some kind of backwoods joke that might have been funny (but I don't think so) at the turn of the century, but it is not funny now. This would be unforgivable, in my opinion!

[WebLady]

I have heard of ppl pulling pranks of some nature on the bride and groom, this is sort of where the garter toss and decorating the getaway car comes from. I've also heard of 'kidnapping' the bride for a 'ransom' that the couple would get to keep.

But this kind of thing sounds a bit over the top and would REALLY PISS ME OFF TOO :realmad: I hate practical jokes ... this kind of sh!t is just not funny to me!!

If your FH feels the same way just sit down with these so called friends and tell them this is not the kind of behavior you find amusing and if these people wish to remain friends they better not pull any of that cr@p!

If that doesn't work you could always call the cops and tell them that you and your FH have been threatened!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Well, this is where I would start. Change the locks on your doors and keep your doors locked at all times. That would be my first step. My second would be to inform these a$$holes that if they come within a hundred feet of my home, family or not, I'm calling the police and pressing charges. I'm sure this is a criminal offense and I for one would not stand for it either. If they're gonna get down and play dirty, your gonna have to block them and make sure it doesn't happen. Also, how about a dog that barks to alert you if someone comes close to your home!! A dog that no one knows and will not be easily distracted. And lastly, I would sit them down and tell them that you guys don't find it ONE bit funny and that if ANYONE pulls that garbage expect criminal charges because you have told them NO!! Put your foot down and protect yourselves, that's all I can suggest!!

[Kacie_bride]

Oh Ellen this is crazy! I have never heard of it before. Like you said, if someone broke into my house in the middle of the night, they better expect a bullet in them or a bad dog bite or both. I would simply tell them you will not tolerate that type of behavior. Lock the doors and notify the authorities if you have any problems.

[LaceyinPgh]

You know what, you don't have to go. All you have to point out is that kidnapping is a federal offense whether by strangers or a$$hole family members. First of all, listen to Shawna and lock your doors. Secondly if they do manage to get in the house ask them to leave. Explain to them that you and Eric are grown up mature adults. You aren't a couple of young kids. That sounds more like something you would do during frat house hazing than to welcome home the new couple. What the hell happened to sending a fruit basket?

I don't recommend getting natsy because you do have to eat Christmas dinner with these people. I don't feel that they are acting maliciously. They are just upholding a good old back woods tradtion. But if you want to make a stand, call the cops. Just be prepared to be knowns ast "That b*tch who married Eric for a long time." Also, whatever you do, do NOT take out the gun. The last thing on earth that you want is to accidently misfire and kill old Aunt Gerty. The majority of handgun deaths in the home are between family members. Let's not up that statistic.

I would talk to Eric. See if they are serious or if it has ever happened in the family before. They might just be joking with you. HOwever, if you are that worried about, than have him talk to them. Let him make it known to them that under NO circumstances will you participate. You do not approve. The both of you will be beyond angry. And, if you hear someone trying to get in your house, you will have to notify the proper public officials and press charges.

[AngelinLove]

Okay, seriously people..this has got to be one of the most immature wedding "pranks" (invasions of privacy) that I have ever heard of. Ellen, I would consider yourself luck that you got a heads up on this and it didn't just happen. One, because I think that you are too cute for prison and jumpsuit orange is not really your color...so killing then when they unexpectantly broke in your house would be really unfortunate!!! Now that you have the heads up you can change the locks, make it BLATANTLY obvious that you do not find this idea amusing or entertaining in the least bit and that you are making it a point that evreyone know this, and be prepared for it. Aside from telling them that they are acting like 19-year-old frat rushes and that they are not welcome in your home in that capacity..all you can really do is deal with it or call the police!!!! Good luck, I know you do not want to be seen as teh B!tch in the family, but you have to stand up for yourself!!!!

[hummingbird521]

Here is one thing i found on the net. I remember hearing about it years ago. it started in the southern states and was especially popular in texas. old time shivaree.

A shivaree is a clamorous salutation made to a newlywed couple by an assembled crowd of neighbors and friends. Its original name was charivari (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charivari).
In the American Midwest, along the Missouri River in Nebraska and Missouri, the term takes on the meaning of playfully kidnapping the bride, curiously similar to some Central Asian traditions.

[MOB Karen]

Ok, thank you, Treasia! Now that we have the spelling, this is what I found.

From 1805, New Orleans: “The house is mobbed by thousands of the people of the town, vociferating and shouting with loud acclaim…. [M]any [are] in disguises and masks; and all have some kind of discordant and noisy music, such as old kettles, and shovels, and tongs…. All civil authority and rule seems laid aside”

But nowhere on there, do they say putting the bride in cold water and tying the groom up and parading them in the neighborhood on the back of a pickup truck. Big difference!!!! Who cares if they make noise, as long as they don't come in the house.

[WebLady]

Yeah I still say it is crazy but Lacey probably has the better idea ... just talk to your FH and then to the family and hope they listen.

What a moronic 'tradition' this is :bbrolleyes: at least IMO it is ... grow up already *geez* :bbconfused:

Good luck!

[cowboysbride]

Eric and I talked to several people today at the family 4th of July cookout and volleyball game. We have made it blatantly obvious that this is not to happen and Eric explained to them (he is so smart) that his new bride hasn't lived in such a rural area before and since he works 2nds I might be afraid at night and therefore sleep with the shotgun nearby...some of them backed up immediately...LOL

Have no fear girls, I won't do anything stupid Eric and I both are certified by the KSP Ky State Police to carry a concealed deadly weapon and we have both been trained on how to properly handle handguns and other firearms...all of our guns stay in a gun safe. I just wanted to paint the picture of responsible well educated little rednecks lol!

My father is a cop, I was in Law Enforcement and the military (some of them did not know this) but thanks to Eric today now they do! So I think they have changed their 3 brain celled minds!

Thanks for looking it up for me...

[AngelinLove]

I am happy that you had the opportunity to set things straight and the prewarning was hilarious!!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Glad to hear that you both set them straight! I knew you two would figure something out!! And yes gun safes are a good thing, that's where our guns are too!! lol. The ammo is a completely different place (Safe) from that. :wink:

[WebLady]

I'm glad to hear that you and FH talked some sense into your family and set them straight about this.