Samantha ♥ Sean ~ May 23, 2010

[petulantfem]

Hello everyone! I guess I should start with a little bit of background.

My name is Samantha and I am 28 years old. I have 2 wonderful sons from a previous relationship ~ Benjamin is six years old and Jacob is now three. I work in child care, although I hope to eventually transition into social work, once we can afford for me to go back to school.

Sean is 24 years old (and yes, I realize this makes me a borderline-cougar ;)) and currently works in security. Eventually, he would like to work in corrections or with the police force.

I am hoping to be able to use this journal to keep me focused and accountable (especially budget-wise) as we plan this wedding. I see so many ideas that I like, that it is hard to narrow it down to one style. We are working with a pretty frugal budget of $5000 and our guest list is sitting somewhere around 150. So this is going to take some creativity and elbow-grease to pull off, but I am so excited!

[Mrs.Goff]

Hi. I'm looking forward to seeing your plans come to life.

Also a wedding on $5000 is totally doable. It'll take some effort but it is doable.

Congratulations and good luck.

[petulantfem]

Thanks Mrs. Goff!

I guess I'll begin at the beginning and then get to the good stuff - the wedding planning!

We actually met through Sean's sister, Miranda, who happens to be my best friend. Miranda and I have known each other for several years, but I had never met Sean, as he was living in Toronto at the time. The first time that we met was in late summer 2007 when I stopped by to visit Miranda. I didn't realize that Sean had moved back from Toronto and was staying at her place at the time. Sean spent the afternoon playing with my boys - I thought he was cute, but young.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/VideoGameBen.jpg

Apparently, though - he didn't think I was too old. While I didn't give him much thought at first because of our age difference, he wasn't the type to give up easily. This ended up being a good thing for us, because - as it turns out - he was exactly what I had been looking for. Long story short, we started dating and he started staying at my place, which evolved to him moving in. We never really discussed moving in together, it just seemed to happen. I can remember saying to my friends at work, "I think we live together, but I'm not sure" lol.

Things for us have happened very quickly. Everything just seemed to make sense, everything just seemed to fall into place. We're perfect compliments to each other.

[petulantfem]

Anyone else probably would have waited. We were only a couple of weeks from our first anniversary, and Christmas was coming up, as well as New Year's Eve. Our birthdays would be in a couple of months. Any number of special days was approaching.

But leave it to Sean to be unable to contain himself. He proposed to me on a thursday night, as soon as I got home from a 12 hour day working with toddlers. I don't think that I had even showered that day. He didn't even give me a chance to change out of my work clothes. So, forever and ever, I will remember saying yes to his proposal, decked out in a red YMCA tshirt, sweatpants and a ponytail. Can you say hot?! :cool:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/IMG_0060-1.jpg

[Mrs.Goff]

Aww, You look SO happy in that picture. It's sweet that he couldn't wait.

I thought I'd mention that I'm 29 and my DH is 26. I'm exactly 3 years and 3 months older. I wasn't aware of the age difference at first and by the time I found out it was too late, I was smitten. haha

[petulantfem]

About six weeks or so after we got engaged, we got a little surprise. And by little, I mean microscopic at that point. But the sort of surprise that would grow to, oh - about 7 or 8 pounds over the next several months.

I was not even quite 4 weeks pregnant when I found out - (which, if you're paying attention means that we might not have gotten engaged on our anniversary ... but we certainly celebrated :bbwink:). I was going to wait until Christmas day to tell Sean, but I'm no better at being patient than he is.

At our 20 week ultrasound, we found out that we will be having boy number three. I am going to be completely outnumbered in this house! Right now we are just over 5 months along and Sean is absolutely hating the wait - four more months will be torture for him. But at least it will give us a little bit of time before the hectic days of life with a newborn are upon us, so that we can get the major decisions for the wedding settled.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/100_1101.jpg

So here's to planning!

My May goals are:
1) Find a wedding venue and catering
2) Book our photographer (the most important vendor, in my opinion!)
3) Finalize our guest list so that we can focus on our budget
4) Book our officiant
5) Determine exactly how our $5000 budget is going to be spent

[petulantfem]

lol Mrs Goff - there is exactly 4 years and 3 days age difference between Sean and I - which hasn't seemed to make a lick of difference in the grand scheme of things at all!

[Mrs.Goff]

Oh Congratulations on the new bouncing baby boy! How exciting a baby and a wedding. :)

[doris27]

I'm 28 and my FH is 23, so there's even more of an age difference, but like with you two, everything works. Sometimes age makes and huge difference, and sometimes it doesn't matter much at all. Also, I have two kids, ages 11, and 3 1/2.

Congrats on your engagement and your pregnancy!

[TeacherSonja]

Congratulations on your engagement and your pregnancy! Happiness is not influenced by age difference. Good luck planning and enjoy!

[petulantfem]

Did anyone else find vendors impossible to get ahold of? I have been making calls and sending emails like there is no tomorrow and I have even tried dropping by some places, and I am just having the worst time actually speaking to the people that I need to talk to. Most of the contacts work 9-5, and since I work 8-5 all week (plus extra shifts in the evenings and on weekends at my other job), it doesn't leave a lot of opportunity to meet with them.

I found a link to a gallery of photographs taken by a woman who freelances locally. I live in a smaller city, and there aren't an overwhelming number of options when it comes to any wedding vendor (case in point - nearly every wedding I have been to in this city has been at the same hotel banquet hall). This woman does not have a website or a business listing or anything like that, but I found her photos accidently on flickr while searching for photos of weddings in my city (I was actually looking for other venue locations when I was googling). Anyway, she had no email address on her flickr page, but had albums of at least 7 weddings and most were local. So I figured she must be from around here, but had a hell of a time finding a way to contact her. Persistence paid off, and I located her email address and phone number on some obscure business listing site. I sent her an email three days ago, and haven't gotten a response yet. So I tried calling today and had to leave a voicemail. I'm so disappointed - she takes such amazing pictures and I want her.

I am also having venue issues. I really didn't want to go with a generic hotel banquet hall or one of the many, many, many Italian restaurant banquet halls in town (no offense to anyone - it's just that in this city, that seems to be the only option and I really wanted something different).

But because of the size of our guest list and the size of my city, it's been an issue. I have looked into museums (the only one large enough is a bushplane museum, and I'm not digging the idea of having our reception in a hanger in front of a yellow water bomber). I've thought about the art gallery (too small), bed and breakfasts (too small), historic buildings (too small), parks (too much goose poop) and even contacted the local University and College, which was also a bust. My best lead was a local performing arts Theatre - I loved the look of it and they can set up for banquets ... only we went down there today to look at the inside (I had only seen pictures) and it's about 1/4 the size I thought it was. There's no way we'd be able to seat all our guests at tables, much less have room to dance. So that's out and I'm super bummed about that.

I thought about doing it outdoors - my dad has over 50 acres of beautiful property about 45 minutes from town. I would love to do that, but the property only has an old farmhouse on it and is not hooked up to the town water or electricity. Which would translate into having to bring in porta-potties (dealbreaker for me) and a generator, on top of renting sound equipment, a dance floor, tables and chairs, a tent, etc etc etc. So even if it was plausible, I couldn't afford it.

Ugh, I'm so frustrated already. I just want to get things moving and I feel like everything is at a stand still. I can't shop for a dress for months because I'm pregnant right now, and I can't finalize the date until I'm sure we can get a venue and photographer that day.

I need to chill out already. I'm talking myself down, and I've decided that my compromise with myself will be to take some photos out at my father's property (before the ceremony) and also do our engagement photos/maternity photos out there as well. Right now, the top runner for venue, since the theatre is out, is unfortunately just an Italian banquet hall. I guess you can't win them all.

Well, that's enough ranting for today. I'll end with a couple of photos - because that is my favourite part of everyone else's journals. :)

Dad's property in May, as the trees are budding.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/100_1100-1.jpg

Apple blossoms on the trees.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/100_1099-1.jpg

Some more of the farm property.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/100_1096-1.jpg

And because I just realized that I hadn't posted a nice one of us, here is Sean and I last fall.
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v282/119/112/508975665/n508975665_956003_5421.jpg

And a family shot from Christmas - I was already pregnant in this photo, so technically all the kids are in it!
http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1876/119/112/508975665/n508975665_1605663_994.jpg

[petulantfem]

I just got word from a friend who's sister had her reception at the banquet hall this past weekend that was currently topping my list of possibilities. She gave it an all around thumbs down, so now I am back where I started - completely clueless as to where to have this wedding. I am starting to wonder if our best option might not be a local Croation Hall ... it might be cheaper anyway, which could work in our favour.

[TeacherSonja]

You look so happy together! Your boys are adorable!

[petulantfem]

Thanks Sonja!

[petulantfem]

I am feeling a little bit more optimistic today. I was able to meet with the owner of the theatre, and we took a bit of a tour around it (last time we went down, they were closed, so we could only peek in the windows). It is small, but if we arrange the layout a little bit unconventionally, it will fit all of our guests and a dance floor. There is also another option which definitely has enough space and also doesn't charge a rental fee for the use of the hall, just for the cost of catering. So I'm going to have to lay out the benefits and pitfalls of both options and see who comes out the winner.

Also, I stumbled across an ad today for a local photographer who charges less than half of what anyone else has quoted for me. So I've sent him an email and I hope to hear back from him tomorrow.

I'm also probably pitching the idea of using my mother's dress at all. Even if it is salvagable, I don't think that I can afford the work that will need to be done on it. I wish I could start with the dress now, but I'll have to wait until after the baby before I can start really thinking about it. Gah!

[petulantfem]

Well, I don't think I've gotten much further ahead, but I finally did find a photographer that a) I really like and b) can afford!! The bonus is that it hasn't been a nightmare to contact and keep in touch with her. I'm feeling a lot more excited now that I know that the photography will be taken care of. She's never done a wedding before, but all of her photography work is really amazing and I'm not worried at all - since what I really want her to do is just use her best judgement and snap away all day. I'm not a big fan of the posed formal sort of wedding portraits.

We've been tweaking our budget here and there to see where we can cut and where we'll have to drop a few extra dollars. The catering is what is eating up the majority of our budget, and the compromise that I am finding that I have to make in order to have enough money for everything else is to actually downgrade our idea of "wedding venue" and "wedding meal". I'm surprised to realize that this really doesn't bother me a whole lot. As long as we have a place that is big enough to fit everyone, and we have a full meal that they can eat - I'm pretty content.

So right now, we are leaning towards the local Legion Hall. For a simple chicken meal with potatoes, vegetables, salad, dinner rolls, tea, coffee and dessert seved family style, as well as the rental fee for the venue itself and a cash bar ... we are looking at somewhere in the range of $2050. We'll be able to afford to offer wine at the tables, and that will cost us about $400, which should appease those who don't want to pay for drinks (I hope).

http://www.rclbranch25.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/hallpic.jpg

Lord knows it's not the world's most swanky wedding venue, but it's not so terrible either. I'm picturing some white chair covers and a little bit of creative decor ... I definitely think that we can make this work.

Food, alcohol, venue and photography are eating up probably just over 3/5 of our wedding budget. So we have to be really careful with the rest of our money to make sure that it will stretch to cover everything else. The marriage licence and officiant will cost us $360. I don't see a way to reduce this, as the only alternative to this officiant is a religious officiant - which Sean vetoed off the bat.

But I may be able to save some money in attire! Sean wants a fitted suit, so that might cost a bit ... not sure how much, but here's hoping we can find a deal for that. I am planning on wearing a hand-me-down dress, and hoping against hope that it won't require any alterations. The girl who wore it before me was an inch or two shorter than I am but wore 4 inch heels, and she wears the same street size and has the same bust size as I do (when not pregnant haha). For the boys, I'll buy them simple black dress pants and white dress shirts. I'm hoping that, when all is said and done, all of this will cost under $300.

Other than that, we have to fit in rings, flowers, favours, stationary and postage, centrepiece and cost of decor, hair and make up, cake, music, and other miscellaneous items. A lot of it will probably end up being DIY, but I'm feeling confident that we can pull it off.

[petulantfem]

I created my Colour Inspiration Board:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/ColourInspiration.jpg

[petulantfem]

And I have begun working on my invitations and monogram designs ... here is a couple of rough drafts of my monogram.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/monogram1.jpg http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y219/petulantfem/monogram2.jpg

[petulantfem]

What I'd like to do is have photos everywhere. Our Save The Dates (if we do them) will be the photo booth strip style and the kids will be in it. The invitations will run along the same idea. Table numbers and place cards will be photos of the boys holding the numbers up. I'd love for the centrepieces to be black and white framed pictures of the guests wedding photos. And I'd really, really love to have a photo booth at the reception. Since photo booth rentals are neither in our budger or our vicinity, I'm exploring the possibility of setting something up ourselves, DIY-style. The photo strips can act as favours as well. I'm not sure if it's something that we can pull off, but I think it would be so much fun!

Invitation and Save The Date Inspiration:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2305/1794450112_ae3766a165.jpg

[petulantfem]

Chubear - Thanks for the tip! There actually aren't any photo booth rental companies within several hours of where I live, and we wouldn't have been able to budget it in anyway but I had been googling the posibility of a DIY-Photo booth and I almost have Sean on board. It will really depend on the logistics of whether or not we can pull it off.

Other than that, there isn't too much new to report. I am meeting with the hall coordinator at the Legion on Tuesday. The latest update on that end is that the meal I had been leaning towards is $14.30/plate including all taxes and gratuities. For 140 guests, that puts me at $2002.00 and that's if everyone RSVPs that they are attending. So I'm pretty comfortable with that number. Since the Legion is hosting the bar and catering, the rental fee for the venue is only another $100. One thing I didn't count on was a corking fee of $2.50/bottle and we are estimating that we will have about 90 bottles of wine. So that is an added $225.00, but I asked if we could have it waived since they are hosting the bar (the other option was that I host it, but they would make no money off it that way), and if we uncorked the wine ourselves. So she is going to let me know on Tuesday about that. I will also need a $25 liquor licence for the table wine, and the wine itself should cost about $400.

The Legion is also allowing us to use their sound system for free (yay - no DJ expense!) and letting us come in the day before to decorate for free as well. All linens and place settings are included. They are going to let me come in with my laptop/Ipod sometime well before the wedding to test out the sound system and make sure all the music plays properly so that we don't end up with a music disaster as well. Could they be more awesome about things?

So that brings my total for the venue, catering, wine and liquor licence to $2652 (or $2427 if they waive the corking fee). That's not bad for 140 guests!

I did shop around a bit for chair covers, and found out that they are ridiculously expensive. It is actually cheaper to rent white folding chairs (which, in hindsight, I think would actually look better), but even that is out of my budget. In fact, it would use up my entire decor budget. So I'll have to figure something else out. I mean, I haven't given up on the chair idea completely yet ... I might see if the chair lady will be willing to swing me a deal. Or I could rent chair covers from out of town for half the price, but I'd have to deal with the headache of picking them up and returning them, and I'm not sure that I want to add that to my list of things to stress out about.

[petulantfem]

This week, I went with Sean and my mom to look at the Legion Hall. I thought my mom might be put off by the idea a bit, and I was surprised that she was actually all for it. She said she got married at a Legion Hall :). But she did have two suggestions - a) that we choose a date after school lets out (ie. not May) and b) that we change the meal to the typical local Italian wedding meal and add soup.

The change in the meal means the cost increases from what I had originally calculated to $19.49/plate. I also have to revisit our guest list ... I think it will be closer to 150. So my catering cost just jumped to $2923.50. The venue is $105 including tax. Also, we cannot have the corking fee waived, so that is another $225.00. Include the wine ($400.00) and I am at $3653.50.

I could cut the soup out ... that would adjust my total to $18.19/plate and therefore $3458.50 for the total venue. That is a difference of $200 just for soup. Something to think about.

Anyway, continuing on the assumption that we have just spent $3653.50 ...

Venue $105
Corking Fee $225
Catering $2923.50
Wine $400
Liquor Licence $25

Plus ...

Marriage Licence $100
Officiant $260
Photography $500
Rings $112.10
Stationary $120

Equals ... $4770.60.

I still need to budget for decor, attire, favours and gifts, music, cake ...

ACK!! Why is this so frustrating!!?

Okay, if I cut the soup, then my total so far is $4570.60. I'm pretty sure that we can manage the music and cake for no cost. Sean can get his tux for free through the rental promotion at the store and I have a free dress that I can use, although the boys will still need outfits and I will need to spend a bit on accessories ... I think $150 should cover that. I need to spend a bit more on decor though, and I'm running out of money here ...

I'm going to take a breather and then come back to this again.

[petulantfem]

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/how-to/how-to-build-a-photo-booth-home-hacks-107966?image_id=1115673