I want to..

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

give Dh a surprise Bday party! Only problem..

Me and his mom NO LONGER are talking!
Can I do this without inviting them???

[WebLady]

I suppose you could have a party with just you guy's friends and not invite family.

[SerendipityCrafts]

You can do whatever you want but, I hope you realize that for as long as you are married to her son, she will be your mother in law. Perhaps the two of you should/could bury the hatchet and agree to be civil to each other on occasions such as this. There are many many many occasions in the future, whereby you will have to be in the same room as the woman.

This is not the ideal way to start a marriage.

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

I know, I was thinking about sitting down and talking to her. But she really hurt my feelings yesterday and calle dme a BUNCH of mean names, and insulting me, and saying she hopes Idont stay married to him long.
I just dont know how i can be in the same room as her and be polite, you know?:ooh:

[gwenshack]

I think if it's friends only it's ok to have a party without inviting his mother. But I do think that the MIL issue is going to have to get cleared up at some point. I'm not there and don't know any more than you've shared in regard to her, but hopefully you all can find a way to peacefully coexist. :) It'll probably be on you to make the first move, or, if nothing else, just let the things she says and does pass you by with just a smile.

[lilmsjess]

idk if you and shane are coming or going....

but at some point, no matter how she is, you'll have to be the bigger lady and talk to her

if you're asking about her, then you plan on inviting family....unless you want to piss off EVERYONE, i suggest it be friends only, or everyone.....

let her be the *****, you be the lady.....if she realizes you're willing to talk to her PRIVATELY and clear up matters, so be it...believe me i've learned, sometimes talking to FMIL/MIL's are better WITHOUT fh/dh around

[savepaws]

If your aren't inviting MIL then you shouldn't invite other family members. Just because YOU aren't getting along with her doesn't mean she should have to miss out on her son's party. If Shane would want his mom there, then you should invite her. Otherwise you probably should just invite friends only to avoid making things worse between you & MIL.

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

Friend's only is a good idea. The only thing is I was sorta hoping to have it at my mom's house, since her house is bigger. I have a tiny apartment.:snide:

I love planning surprise parties. maybe Ill just have to talk to her, although It will be hard.

[WBandMe]

You have two options: have it be friends only (maybe your mom would let you borrow her house for a few hours?) or invite family, including MIL. You're going to have to talk things out eventually and reach some sort of peaceful agreement, but if one of you is unwilling to try yet, you extend the invitation as politely as possible. "Hi, I wanted to invite you to a birthday party for Shane at this date and time, and I hope you'll be able to come celebrate with us." Boom, ya know?

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

You have two options: have it be friends only (maybe your mom would let you borrow her house for a few hours?) or invite family, including MIL. You're going to have to talk things out eventually and reach some sort of peaceful agreement, but if one of you is unwilling to try yet, you extend the invitation as politely as possible. "Hi, I wanted to invite you to a birthday party for Shane at this date and time, and I hope you'll be able to come celebrate with us." Boom, ya know?
It will be tough hanging in the same room with her, but I might just do that.