Will & Christine ~ August 16, 2009

[ChristineLS]

I decided to start one of these, since we're really revving up the planning. Spring's here, which means soon will be summer, which also means that soon I'll be calling Will my husband! And I'll be his wife. It's quite wonderful, he's a great partner, and I can't wait for our partnership to be legally official as well.

I've been getting a ton of ideas from these forums, so maybe putting what we are doing down might help another future bride putting together a really informal wedding celebration :D

We're doing low on formality, low-key, high on fun and family and socializing.

So far, we have figured this out:

Date
It's the week before classes start, a few days after FFIL's birthday, a few days before FBIL's birthday, 15 days after my parent's 29th wedding anniversary, and apparently Elvis's death date. I only note the last one because my mom was born on Elvis's birthday and I find it kind of funny.

Location, Location, Location!

We're both really shy, so we're getting the formalities done with our immediate families a couple days before at the courthouse. We're spending the next couple days putting stuff together.

The celebration itself is being held at a park's lodge in my hometown. It's a mile from a lake I swam in as a child has a pond next to it, a softball field and plenty-o-parking. The inside is beautiful pine wood, rustic looking. We wanted an outdoor celebration, however upstate New York's weather has this tendency to do the opposite of what you wish... so we found a park with a nice inside venue.

It comes with up to 150 chairs for our sixty guests and tables to go with it. The kitchen facilities are huge and industrial, like the grills that are outside of it. There is a built in speaker system. It's really nice, and it cost us $435 for use of EVERYTHING.

Cake
Will's mom is making the world's best carrot cake. We're going to do it into cupcakes so it's easier to distribute, IE no cake cutting. We're not really into that tradition anyway.

Pictures
Like I said earlier, we're, erm, a bit shy, so we asked a friend to make sure there are a few photos taken of us, but the idea of a photopgrapher trailing us around was not fun. Will's folks are divorced, so FMIL asked us if she could whip out her photography equipment (as she was getting her degree in photography/ceramics) to experiment at the party/give her something to do that's not just avoiding Will's dad. The only reason he hadn't asked her is because she's already helping us with so much! We gladly accepted.

Food
Will and I LOVE to cook. My parents wanted to get it catered, as they wanted to decrease stress. We find out that apparently most of the catering places in the area just do food drop off... we have to do the rest of the maintenance. It was incredibly expensive, and with the precarious financial state of my father's employer, and my mother's current medical status, Will and I felt better just cooking it ourselves. It lets us be a bit more creative with the menu. Now, we're not really sure WHAT we're going to make.

Will really wanted to do a pot-luck, but his family is coming from a couple hours away, and it's not really going to work.

Alcohol
Welch's used to grow grapes in Western New York, then it became cost prohibitive for them and they left. They were replaced with wine growers, and these are vineyards that are at most 15 years old. That's old enough to have mature vines, and good wine, but not long enough to establish a reputation. This means they try very hard to work a customer base, and their delicious wines are not that expensive. We are 45 minutes from Canada's wine region. We're going to get a couple cases and put them in buckets of ice for guests. We don't want people getting drunk. We just want something fun, and enough of that social lubricant to, well, lubricate socially :)

Dad wants to get a keg, I told him that he's more than welcome. We're allowed to ring alcohol, as long as it is "reasonable". Or as the park ranger told me, "Not two kegs for ten people" :rofl:

Centerpieces

I do believe they may fall under "tacky" for a lot of people, but it kind of reflects Will's and my life at the moment.

We asked our friends to save their wine bottles, and they have been. Initially we were thinking we would leave the labels on (some of the labels are pretty cool - like "Rose the Riviter" (http://www.olympiccellars.com/istore/Rosie07Cork_page23BVN.gif), which was tasty too, and so forth) but I'm not sure we are going in that route.

They will be the vases for gladiolas and dalias of various colors that FMIL and FBIL are growing IN THEIR GARDEN. Seriously!

Oh yeah, we're not doing a color scheme. We looked at each other, and we were like, "We like colors" and figured that whatever worked with the gold tones of the room will work. The beginning of a marriage is a happy thing - we figured colors show that.

What still needs to be done:
-What am I wearing? (Summer dress, not fully white, beyond that, haven't found anything I like though I did receive good advice)
-What is Will wearing?
-Will needs a wedding band
-Will STILL needs to decide on the style of watch for his engagement gift! That was our agreement, he'd give me an engagement ring, I'd give him a watch. But he's really picky with electronics so I don't want to surprise him. I offered to get him a kitchenaid standmixer instead for an engagement gift, and he hasn't even decided on that :rofl:
-What music are we playing?
-What kind of timeline for what activities do we want to do?
-What are we eating?
-Beyond the flowers, how else are we decorating?
-Silverware and plates
-What are we doing afterward?

And lots of stuff I'm probably forgetting.

At first this felt like some necessary life event, that I had to do as an obligation. Now that we've been mulling it over in our heads for over a year, it actually has become something that feels like it will be fun, "us" and I'm getting excited. Once we realized we didn't have to do the usual wedding, which neither of us could see ourselves doing, we've been so much more comfortable with it. And the same with our families.

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

YAY!!! Everything sounds GREAT so far!!! You must be getting excited!!!

[sandy03]

That's very exciting. Everything sounds great. And to add to the list of exciting things for your date, it's my birthday!

[ChristineLS]

That's very exciting. Everything sounds great. And to add to the list of exciting things for your date, it's my birthday!

Really? THat's awesome!

I'd report more wedding planning, if any had happened. Alas, last week of classes (for you too, right?)

[ChristineLS]

YAY!!! Everything sounds GREAT so far!!! You must be getting excited!!!

Thank you! I am, actually :D

[sandy03]

Yup, planning and school are not a happy combination - I feel like i have the little cartoon angel and devil sitting on my shoulders except the good one is the one in a cap and gown urging me to get my work done and the evil one is the little bride in white trying to distract me!

[amisteratwisterandme]

I am seriously considering doing something small myself. I hate hate hate attention, and I don't want to part with my hard-earned money.

Kudos for you guys for doing something that is you. That is what it should be about anyway.

[ChristineLS]

I am seriously considering doing something small myself. I hate hate hate attention, and I don't want to part with my hard-earned money.

Kudos for you guys for doing something that is you. That is what it should be about anyway.

Thank you!



So we realized something the other day. Favors! We want to give all of our guests something, but once we realized that we'd forgotten...and I can't believe that I had, after seeing all the DIY's and thinking, "Huh, cool!" without making the connection of "wait, we should do that too...".

So Will and I look at each other and we're like, "Yes we should do this!" and then stared at each other as we realized we're not really sure what is A) appropriate B) feasible and C) what would we like to give even without considering A & B. There's always candy favors, and I offered maybe like seed packets, but we're a bit stumped. Good thing we have until August.

Invitations need to get done. And then mailed. My bridesmaid (and amazing friend) is going to help us with the address finding, but we've also been telling friends as we see them. One of my friends informed us that he's saving his vacation time especially to go to our celebration. Friends we talk to seem pretty excited, which is surprising to me considering my initial ambivalence about it. It's really kind of heart warming to be half of something everyone is looking so forward too, but I also have awesome friends.

Fortunately for me, invitations are not my problem - Will really wants to do them. Sweet!

... and the last day of classes are Monday, and I'll have about 12 days to write two papers. I can do this. Yeah, something like that ;)

[Kay]

This all sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate your marriage! Kudos to the two of you for being unique and doing it your way!

[ChristineLS]

Yesterday Will's brother and I drove out to his hometown after his mom drove to Buffalo and missed all of us. She didn't have a cell phone on her, and there was a miscommunication... we all felt really bad about the whole thing, so FBIL and I (Will had to get work done) drove out. FBIL doesn't yet have his license (though come the road test in May, hopefully he will) so I was there to drive on the highway and then he drove the rest of the way. I don't remember how to get to their hometown, it is in the middle of nowhere.

So we brought my FMIL the flower bulbs, and Will's brother grabbed his paperwork, and then Will's bro and FMIL drove out to get peat moss to amend the soil. I baby sat the dog. Best. Job. Ever. I sat outside in gorgeous weather reading my book (I'm considering "converting" to Unitarian Universalism, but first I want to know everything I can about it) with their dog at my feet. It was pretty awesome.

So they get back, with Tim Hortons coffee and peat moss and we all, shovels and this odd pick ax ish tool that neither I nor FH could call started to incorporate it and some of the compost dirt into the bed. It's very hard work, and I was doing it barefoot since I didn't dress for the occasion, being unaware of the occasion. Hard work but it was fun, the weather was great, and it gave me just cause to demand a backrub when I got home :D

So for about $100, we're hopefully going to have enough flowers to decorate. But expenses aside, FMIL and I were talking about that certain pride in being able to say, "See that? We did that!" and there is a certain bit of excitement in knowing that our flowers are going to be very incidental. There is a word in Russian, случайно (sluchaino) which is meant in a sort of unplanned, incidental sort of way. I love the word because it just suggests things that happen, and it fits me at the moment. The flowers will be incidental. I kind of like surrendering a bit of control to the unknown.

FMIL also told me something very sweet - how she was telling her neighbor that "my future daughter in law is bringing my other son back" and that she was kind of impressed/thrilled with how much I'd become part of the family and that I'm always helping out. This all started with how I fixed the screen on the door (it was just screen and a staple gun - not too hard) but I think she was just surprised that I saw it needed to be done, and while Will fixed something else I just got up and did it. It was her way of saying thanks, but I'm the oldest in my family - that's been my job!

FMIL picked up a bunch of cup cake stands for the cup cakes and has some ideas on how to decorate. She has an inner Martha Stewart, which is very obvious if you walk into her house, but like an eclectic Martha Stewart. So she has a lot of different ideas and different vision than I do. I think FH is somewhere in between. We'll figure it out. The thing to keep in mind is that we have to decorate AND take down. I'm going to be so exhausted that day. Oh well ;)

[gwenshack]

Just catching up on your journal - didn't realize you'd started one. :) I think it's so cool that you and your FMIL get along. Wish I had that luxury! I think it's awesome that you've integrated into the family so well.

[ChristineLS]

A problem when your partner and you have decided that you don't particularly like all the trimmings of a traditional wedding and want to do something a touch different, is that you need to build the difference. It's very easy to say that "I don't like this!" but the tricky part comes with the construction - what do you do that's different?

I am personally a bit torn between doing a reception only. We are both shy, and the reason we are having this celebration is because we want to celebrate our family and friends. I wonder if we are depriving them of seeing something very happy. I'm not sure - it's hard because we're not doing things only for ourselves. I don't think the wedding should be all about the couple. We exist in such an interdependent web of loved ones. The tricky part is figuring out how to incorporate them. Obviously there are toasts, but how else? Traditionally, weddings seem more like a spectator event. We're trying to make it more of a interactive thing, but how? We'll have bocce and horseshoes, bringing a frisbee. Most of the people will know each other, and considering that my father is so social, everyone will know him by the end of the day :rofl: though the same can be said about fh's father :rofl: I love our families!

Planning has also completely derailed in honor of the paper writing we're doing at the end of the semester. The higher priority right now in planning are clothes and Will's ring, since that could potentially make more planning. My mom already picked up a dress to wear, and I'm going to see it (hopefully) when I drop by for Mother's Day. My mom is always so much on top of everything, it doesn't surprise me here :)

[sandy03]

Good luck with all the papers! Hopefully you'll be finished up soon!!

I feel your pain about wanting to make the whole thing more interactive. I wrote our ceremony just so that we could incorporate everyone as much as possible. There are a lot of responsive readings and prayers and we're serving communion to everyone (not just us or the wedding party).

Weddings may seem like a spectator event, but even by being present, everyone there is actively giving their blessing to your union. Everyone is there to celebrate with the two of you. It sounds like you've got a lot going on, and don't forget the most fun activity at big events (especially weddings) - people watching! If you wanted something for the more "sedate" groups, maybe bring a few decks of playing cards or try setting around little baskets of trivial pursuit cards so that people can ask each other questions (the restaurant where we are having our rehearsal dinner does this on all their tables and it's lots of fun!) If you wanted to personalize it, you could make little strips of paper with questions about the two of you and your relationship. Jigsaw puzzles are also fun (and you've probably still got time if you wanted to order a couple of personalized ones that are pictures of the two of you.)

I know everything will be great!

[ChristineLS]

Weddings may seem like a spectator event, but even by being present, everyone there is actively giving their blessing to your union. Everyone is there to celebrate with the two of you.

You know, I guess I didn't really think about that... but you're absolutely right!

It sounds like you've got a lot going on, and don't forget the most fun activity at big events (especially weddings) - people watching! If you wanted something for the more "sedate" groups, maybe bring a few decks of playing cards or try setting around little baskets of trivial pursuit cards so that people can ask each other questions (the restaurant where we are having our rehearsal dinner does this on all their tables and it's lots of fun!) If you wanted to personalize it, you could make little strips of paper with questions about the two of you and your relationship. Jigsaw puzzles are also fun (and you've probably still got time if you wanted to order a couple of personalized ones that are pictures of the two of you.)

...Playing cards?! It's like you know all my friends and family better than I do. ;) That's a really good idea. And there is also a strong contingent of trivial pursuit fans too. For some reason it never occurred to me to do table stuff, I think I may have been in "think outdoors" mode. I'm glad that it came to you though! :)


I know everything will be great!

Thanks! :)

[Thalia_themuse]

Hmm, I have a bit of a similar predicament... we too are planning on something different from the norm.

One thing I would like to do is a tree planting; this way it's environmentally conscious, and has nice symbolic value. I am tossing up about asking everyone to come up and shovel some dirt onto the tree... i.e. we are planting a tree and everyone close to us is helping us to help it grow, if that makes sense? Not sure about that yet.

Some other inclusive activities I know people do are the adding to the bouquet (everyone brings an item or something and they all get put into your bouquet) or the passing around of the bride (people 'hand' the bride to each other as she goes down the isle - not my thing but some people like it).

Maybe get a board and have people bring a favourite picture of them with you guys to stick to it while you are doing your pictures? If there are any kids they could draw on the spaces on the board? Or some other kind of thing everyone can add to, write on etc. Something collaborative is my point I guess.

Either way I agree that everyone being there makes them happy and shows their support. If you want everyone to meet each other, maybe do something like a secret santa type thing? Like, mix up the favour bags and everyone pulls one out and has to figure out who the person named on it is, and go give it to them themselves? Or an idea one of the other girls was doing was every table had photos of bride and groom at the age corresponding to the table number (ie photos of them at age 5 at Table 5 etc). She was hoping this would encourage people to travel to all the tables to see the different pictures. The other option is some kind of scavanger hunt - some of the photo ones are awesome, or else have something like 'ask Table 1 what their favourite colours are' or something of that sort. Something that gets everyone up and mingling! The games you're playing will probably do that fine, though!

Anyway, I have no idea if these crazy ideas are anything like what you are even talking about! Sorry if I'm being annoying, my brainstorming can be quite bizarre! :bbredface:

Ooh also, I love this idea (http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2307/2489922444_3825c4ff40.jpg?v=0) for centerpieces!! Fun, entertaining and cute!

[sandy03]

Glad I could be helpful. I was just thinking about what I would enjoy because I'm not terribly outdoorsy and prefer the stuff where I can just sit and hang out (that and I just got an image of somebody's grandmother playing frisbee and it made me giggle)

[ChristineLS]

Hmm, I have a bit of a similar predicament... we too are planning on something different from the norm.

One thing I would like to do is a tree planting; this way it's environmentally conscious, and has nice symbolic value. I am tossing up about asking everyone to come up and shovel some dirt onto the tree... i.e. we are planting a tree and everyone close to us is helping us to help it grow, if that makes sense? Not sure about that yet.

I *love* that idea. Where would you do it? I don't think my parents or the park would appreciate that. They have (at last count) 27 pine trees on an 1/8 acre plot of land. But when I have a house, I'm going to remember that for a baby shower (a sort of, see how welcomed you were into the world? Everyone planted this tree for you). But I have to wait to get pregnant first!

Some other inclusive activities I know people do are the adding to the bouquet (everyone brings an item or something and they all get put into your bouquet) or the passing around of the bride (people 'hand' the bride to each other as she goes down the isle - not my thing but some people like it).

That also reminds me of the "ring warming" some people do - they pass the rings around the audience and people think well-wishes as they get it.

Maybe get a board and have people bring a favourite picture of them with you guys to stick to it while you are doing your pictures? If there are any kids they could draw on the spaces on the board? Or some other kind of thing everyone can add to, write on etc. Something collaborative is my point I guess.

Either way I agree that everyone being there makes them happy and shows their support. If you want everyone to meet each other, maybe do something like a secret santa type thing? Like, mix up the favour bags and everyone pulls one out and has to figure out who the person named on it is, and go give it to them themselves? Or an idea one of the other girls was doing was every table had photos of bride and groom at the age corresponding to the table number (ie photos of them at age 5 at Table 5 etc). She was hoping this would encourage people to travel to all the tables to see the different pictures. The other option is some kind of scavanger hunt - some of the photo ones are awesome, or else have something like 'ask Table 1 what their favourite colours are' or something of that sort. Something that gets everyone up and mingling! The games you're playing will probably do that fine, though!

Anyway, I have no idea if these crazy ideas are anything like what you are even talking about! Sorry if I'm being annoying, my brainstorming can be quite bizarre! :bbredface:

They call brain storming "storming" for a reason - it comes out strongly and covers everything :D No, those crazy ideas are not so crazy and they give me a place to start thinking instead of sitting here like, "Durh, I should do something". Thank you for sharing them!

Ooh also, I love this idea (http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2307/2489922444_3825c4ff40.jpg?v=0) for centerpieces!! Fun, entertaining and cute!

Hahaha! Sweet. I just forwarded that to a friend of mine who is obsessed with the game.


Glad I could be helpful. I was just thinking about what I would enjoy because I'm not terribly outdoorsy and prefer the stuff where I can just sit and hang out (that and I just got an image of somebody's grandmother playing frisbee and it made me giggle)

You bring up an excellent point - while most of the people we know are big outdoors people, we certainly need to be mindful that not everyone is (my best friend is from New York City, and rarely goes into anything remotely resembling "natural").



Thanks for all your advice! I'm really happy that I started one of these journals because you're all giving me so many different things to consider, that left to my own devices I never would have :)

But, on to the big news...


I HAVE A DRESS!!!!!

:whoohoo: :jphappy: :w00t:

I went dress shopping with my mom today. It was so much fun! Pretty much, I love spending time with my mom and will spend all sorts of money on gas to go back and visit my family (it's only two hours away). Initially Will and I were going to drive up Saturday to spend with my mom, then from there drive to his mom's for Mother's day, and go back that evening. But we both were swamped with papers, so we changed it to Sunday with my mom, and next weekend with his. It was important to me to go home for Mother's Day to see my mom. However, Will never stopped being swamped with papers, and I finished mine, so he was saying how I should go without him. Then he goes, "Wait, I have to work all day tomorrow. What's the weather going to be like?" See, I don't have a car, I use his. His dad gave it to him, but informed us that it was for us as an early wedding gift. It's wonderful to have access to a car, but since we aren't married yet it's Will's. Not that it matters - we treat all our possessions as joint, with a few exceptions (the fish tank is mine so it's my responsibility... uh, that's it). The weather today was good, so Will said that he'd just bike to work so I could take the car and spend an extra day with my mom. I had to be back by tomorrow morning because I'm taking a friend to the airport.

I think being stuck with homework worked out for the best. I love spending time with my family, and especially my mom. We've become really close the past few years, and I think it's that because I'm miore mature, and support myself, and am getting married, we have a lot more things to relate to each other on. That, and she's a smart lady and I don't know what I'd do without her. I didn't get to spend as much time with Dad (unfortunately) since he was working, but we'll be back in a couple weeks and Dad will be on vacation.

I gave her a really goofy gargoyle for Mother's Day, for her garden "to protect the tomatoes". She's a bit superstitious, and she collects stuff that's good luck or protects her, etc.I gave her a silver ring from Russia that says Господи спаси и сохрании мя (Lord Save and Protect Me in Old Church Slavonic) and she wears it every day. She loves it. And she was thrilled with the gargoyle, which made me happy since everyone else though I was nuts for giving her one. Nah, I know my mom :D

So, Mom and I went dress shopping. It was incidental, not planned. We went just about everywhere to look for dresses, and uh... I got the first dress I tried on at the first store. :bbredface: It was the only dress I put on that I could imagine myself getting married in, looked good, and was *so* comfortable. It's nothing like what I imagined I'd end up getting. It's pink and purple, halter, with some criss cross straps (think Justina's dress, but only two straps criss cross) in the back. It's really flattering. Will's sleeping right now, and I'm tired, but I do promise you pictures. I'll need to get something for my shoulders if I get a case of acne on my back, but that's not the biggest concern. It was so much fun looking at dresses with Mom and I'm really glad that everything worked out for me to stay, and get this done.

Going home always reminds me how much I love my family, as if I need reminding. I'm so blessed!

Oh, and the dress only cost me $60! Which is about a third of what I budgeted for!

[gwenshack]

Yay! Congrats on finding a dress! Can't wait to see it.

Just trying to catch up on everything I missed while I was gone - the ladies gave you some awesome ideas. I love the idea of the tree planting and think you're right - that would be an awesome baby shower idea. :)

[Mrs.Goff]

YaY, for finding "The Dress", can't wait to see it.

[ChristineLS]

So I've been on vacation. It's been pretty wonderful.

I took pictures of the dress to show my FMIL, and though FH saw me take all of these pictures, they didn't write to the memory card. I'm confused. We were in his hometown and I couldn't show them the pictures, because I didn't check if they had saved before. : X I still can't find my camera cable so I haven't posted them here, but I will.

My grandmother would like me to see her wedding dress. I'm going to, but there isn't much of a chance it would fit me. She was *tiny*. I'm curvaceous. We'll see.

I called up an officiant. About a year ago I called around the JOP's in the area, found one, and he informed me that he don't book until closer to "because people break up". No congrats, and he acted like I was really imposing on his time. It left a very bad taste in my mouth. So I'd been dragging my feet a bit, and we decided to put the ceremony back into the celebration because it was going to be a logistical nightmare otherwise. I'm exploring Unitarian Universalism, so I talked FH into going in that direction. He's an atheist (so am I, more or less), and does not like religion in particular, but we've agreed to disagree on this. Though if we have kids, I'm going to push hard for religious ed through the UU because they encourage social service, ethical behavior, free thinking, and respect for everyone and every religion, without really pushing any particular one. Honestly, I do not expect him to be opposed to that.

There are two UU congregations in my hometown, one minister is much more Christian and from what I can read of the sermons (they post them online) the other is more agnostic. FH does not want religion incorporated in any way - he's actually pretty hostile towards Christianity, to a degree that I'm not very comfortable with, though it has decreased over the years. He was raised this way, and in his hometown the religious tend to be evangelical and quite intolerant (as he perceived). I was very Catholic for a while and I see that religion can be a source of goodness and strength - there is nothing inherently good or bad about religion. How it operates in the world is dependent on how it's cultivated by those who practice it and I think that is the source of our differences in perspective.

I called the agnostic leaning one, also because her sermons are very inspiring to me. The office is closed on Mondays so I left a message, I'll call back tomorrow. The religious beliefs in our family are kind of diverse - on my side we have a seeking UU (me), atheist (Will and his mother), Agnostic (Will's brother), Catholic (Mom, Sister, Brother, Several Aunts married to my dad's brothers, my uncle, virtually all my cousins, Will's mother's mom and his father's dad), Methodist (Dad, Grandma, my dad's brothers and sister, my cousins from my Dad's sister) Nondenominational Christian (My cousin), Quaker (Will's Dad), Evangelical Christian (Will's Reverend Uncle and aunt), and a whole lot of people I'm not sure about in Will's family. This seems to make the most sense to me, and Will is on board with it because UU's mirror so many of his values, despite his hesitation with religion itself.

So, wish me luck! :)

[sandy03]

Good luck. I hope everything works out for you! If you decide you want to try and write parts of the service yourself I'll be happy to help if you need it.

[Thalia_themuse]

I *love* that idea. Where would you do it? I don't think my parents or the park would appreciate that. They have (at last count) 27 pine trees on an 1/8 acre plot of land. But when I have a house, I'm going to remember that for a baby shower (a sort of, see how welcomed you were into the world? Everyone planted this tree for you). But I have to wait to get pregnant first!

**

They call brain storming "storming" for a reason - it comes out strongly and covers everything :D No, those crazy ideas are not so crazy and they give me a place to start thinking instead of sitting here like, "Durh, I should do something". Thank you for sharing them!

Hahaha! Sweet. I just forwarded that to a friend of mine who is obsessed with the game.
**

But, on to the big news...


I HAVE A DRESS!!!!!

:whoohoo: :jphappy: :w00t:



oops sorry, I thought I had responded to this... So I will now! :bbredface:

Tree planting: we are having a backyard do, hopefully in our own place if all goes according to plan, otherwise borrowing a backyard. If its in our own then we can plant a tree, otherwise we may just have to get a big pot to put it in and have 'To Be Planted' on it... Then we just keep it alive until we buy a house :winktongue: But the idea is to do something like a handtying/sand/rose ceremony in purpose, but planting a tree instead! I am quite keen to do it, and I would adore to watch it grow over the years... :wub:
Also a great idea for having babies!! Sounds fabulous! Although now I'm thinking of plant names for babies... Fern, Rose, Daisy, Apricot, Blossom, Elm, Ash...

Lolz, anyway... YAY FOR GETTING YOUR DRESS!!! Can't wait to see pics! It sounds fabulous!! And cheap cheap too, which is always brilliant!

Good luck with getting your Officiant!

[ChristineLS]

oops sorry, I thought I had responded to this... So I will now! :bbredface:

Tree planting: we are having a backyard do, hopefully in our own place if all goes according to plan, otherwise borrowing a backyard. If its in our own then we can plant a tree, otherwise we may just have to get a big pot to put it in and have 'To Be Planted' on it... Then we just keep it alive until we buy a house :winktongue: But the idea is to do something like a handtying/sand/rose ceremony in purpose, but planting a tree instead! I am quite keen to do it, and I would adore to watch it grow over the years... :wub:
Also a great idea for having babies!! Sounds fabulous! Although now I'm thinking of plant names for babies... Fern, Rose, Daisy, Apricot, Blossom, Elm, Ash...

Lolz, anyway... YAY FOR GETTING YOUR DRESS!!! Can't wait to see pics! It sounds fabulous!! And cheap cheap too, which is always brilliant!

Good luck with getting your Officiant!

Thank you!

Now I want to name a daughter rose, and plant a rose bush so I can point it out and say, "See these? You've been growing up together" :rofl:

I love your ceremony though! That's beautiful!


Good luck. I hope everything works out for you! If you decide you want to try and write parts of the service yourself I'll be happy to help if you need it.

Thank you! I just might take you up on that :)


YaY, for finding "The Dress", can't wait to see it.
Yay! Congrats on finding a dress! Can't wait to see it.

Just trying to catch up on everything I missed while I was gone - the ladies gave you some awesome ideas. I love the idea of the tree planting and think you're right - that would be an awesome baby shower idea.

Thank you!

Next post will have pictures...

[ChristineLS]

And without further ado (IE - I'm using a computer with a camera card reader), "The Dress":

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/ShK-12NXAQI/AAAAAAAAABs/NtM40hT5W2Y/s288/IMG_4093.JPG

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/ShK-2VpZjHI/AAAAAAAAABg/6IGSs8v3JQI/s288/IMG_4092.JPG

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/ShK-2u5I-QI/AAAAAAAAABk/cCz8gMIB914/s288/IMG_4091.JPG


Don't mind the feet and the tie-dye dress in the last one :rofl:

This dress is SO COMFORTABLE. And it looks good one me, but I have trouble photographing me IN the dress. :)

[sandy03]

It's gorgeous! I love it! I'm sure it looks absolutely stunning on you. Can't wait to see you in it!

[Thalia_themuse]

oooh, I love it!! Bet you look mighty hawt in it too :winktongue:

ummm... have you tried the old picture-in-the-mirror to get a photo? Or could you get someone else to take the photos? Would love to see you in it!!

[ChristineLS]

oooh, I love it!! Bet you look mighty hawt in it too :winktongue:

ummm... have you tried the old picture-in-the-mirror to get a photo? Or could you get someone else to take the photos? Would love to see you in it!!

I did! And all of them came out really blurry - my hands were shaking too much. I was trying to get it so my hand wouldn't obstruct the view. But I guess I need the second hand to stabilize it. I don't know, do you have any tips on that?

The other thing is that the mirror is on the ground, not yet mounted, so I'm automatically decapitated in all pictures :rofl:

[ChristineLS]

We have an officiant!

She's a retired UU minister. She seems really nice, and when I told her we were graduate students she dropped her honorarium $100 so we could afford it better.

We meet with her on Tuesday, I'm excited!

[gwenshack]

That's awesome! I'm glad you found somebody you are happy with. And how nice of her to waive her fee. :)

[sandy03]

That's wonderful! I can't wait to hear how your meeting goes.

[ChristineLS]

We're really getting going on this planning!

We did another budget, and figured we can keep everything under $2000, but that's ignoring two huge expenses - my e-ring and Will's wedding band. We are purchasing these as gifts for the other. My wedding band is a family heirloom (thanks Mom! <3), so we took care of that.

This is going to be enormously labor intensive. That's OK - hard work never scared me.

For the most part. :bbeek:

But this should be fun.


We've semi-settled on a menu. There will be a cheese tray, a cracker tray, a fresh veggies that happen to be in season tray, a fresh salad, baked ziti, hummus and pita, fruit that happens to be in season, cookies because I'm good at making those and they keep, and of course wedding cake. What we haven't figured out is meat for 60 people. Hmmmm....

So we are in my hometown visiting my parents and doing wedding planning. As part, we were at the thrift store looking for sheet to turn into table clothes and instead found our favors/wine glasses and cake plates. We got these clear teacups (which I guess are actually punch glasses?) that we were going to use as wine glasses (being that we're going for a step more stylish than the red party cup) that they could keep. This would require... washing dishes. Mom thinks we should just put candy in them. But that returns us to square one - how do we find stuff to serve wine out of. Or the candy can be the favor and the glasses just wine glasses. We'll have to do dishes in any case. I'm going to be one hard working bride.

They are really cute - I have pictures, when I'm able to upload them I'll show them to you.

Cake plates are very seventies and very lodge looking, a sort of restaurant fake ceramic. It was about $7 for 69 of them, which is exactly how many we need (well, more than we need). It seemed like it was made for us.

Boy, we got strange looks buying 55 (the pretty ones, I've seen these in Buffalo too) punch glasses and 69 ugly plates.

We made a "Save the Date" facebook group for my family and our friends. It's both "Save a Date" and "All you really transient people, send us your address!". My cousin got back to me within 15 minutes. Now that's really cool.

Tomorrow I'm visiting my grandma. Woo! Not wedding related, just awesome.

We discussed invitations (something Will is doing) and decided that they should be ready to be sent in 2 weeks.

Starting to figure out the music too.

Holy cow, this is really going to happen :D

[ChristineLS]

So, in going to my grandma's, she showed me her wedding dress, and then my aunt brought over the one my mother (and my aunt) wore.

It fit, and I fell in love with it.

This is the dress, I'm going to wear the other for the rehearsal barbeque -

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/ShtNgrpBHOI/AAAAAAAAACI/6SJQbeL0St0/s800/IMG_4201.JPG

I'm still in my hometown, or else I'd take a picture of ME in it...

I really was hoping for a dress that I can rewear, because it strikes me as a waste that a dress should only be worn once.

BUT...

I'll be the third to wear this one :D My aunt (father's sister) bought it. It's not a wedding dress, it's a cream colored off-the-rack dress that she bought after she found out that she didn't fit into my grandmother's (which I didn't even try - I don't think I would have fit a leg into it!). She lent it to my mother to wear for her wedding, and then my grandmother had it dry cleaned and sent it back. It then sat in my aunt's closet for 29 years (I know this, as it's the length of my parents' marriage). I tried it on, it fit, it looked good, and it's oddly my style as I'm into the vintage stuff.

My aunt said, "You know, after I didn't fit into yours [to my grandmother] I didn't really care too much what I wore... but if I knew that my sister in law and niece would have been wearing it too, I think I would have cared more!" :D

There are some stains on the bottom. That's not so much of a problem since it's going to need to be hemmed as it's about 8 inches too long. My aunt, beaming, told me that I could do whatever I needed to it, "I don't need it anymore" she said with a twinkle in her eye. She doesn't have any daughters, so she's always been very protective and loving to her nieces as if we were her own.

I'm thrilled. Giving that I'm about five inches shorter and thirty pounds heavier than both of them when they got married, I did not think there was much of a chance that it would fit me. 70's loose hippy styles pulled through for me! :D

I felt bad, in that I had so much fun shopping with my mom for the wedding dress, but she didn't seem so bothered since I'm now wearing hers. :)

My aunt has been married for 31 years, and my parents for 29... It's a dress with lots of good omens on it, and lots of sentimental value. Oh, it looks good on me too, not quite as flattering as the other one, but still.

I'm going to find a blue shawl or rainbow shawl or something colorful to wear with it - I do want to be bright and colorful!

Tomorrow we are meeting with the officiant... I'm a bit nervous!

[Mrs.Goff]

That's a beautiful dress, plus it has so much history for your family. Congrats! I can't wait to see you in it.

[sandy03]

I thought about you while I was on my honeymoon when we wandered past a UU church in Savannah :)

That's really great about the dress! That's so special!

As for the reception, if you're doing baked ziti I wouldn't even mess with meat. I doubt many people would notice that it's missing (I know I wouldn't!)

[ChristineLS]

I thought about you while I was on my honeymoon when we wandered past a UU church in Savannah :)

That's really great about the dress! That's so special!

As for the reception, if you're doing baked ziti I wouldn't even mess with meat. I doubt many people would notice that it's missing (I know I wouldn't!)

Well I thought about you when our officiant told us that she got her start as a United Methodist Minister. :)

I will post more about that when my thoughts are more organized :D

[EarlyBird]

loving both your dresses!!

Wanted to make a quick mention, I know your going for interactive- you may want to think about potted plants for centerpieces and have a game that the winners get the centerpieces!
I was going to suggest a potted plant for a favor, but i see you found those wine glasses!!

[ChristineLS]

I never posted how the meeting with the officiant went.

It was awesome :)

She's a retired Unitarian Universalist minister who started out Methodist. (The Methodists have a special place in my heart because my Dad, Grandma, and Aunt are Methodists.) FH is not religious and an atheist, and he was really apprehensive about using someone affiliated with a religion. I was nervous that he wasn't going to like her.

See, there are two great ideological debates between us. One is a role of spirituality in life, and we've agreed to disagree as I have a need for a spiritual community, and FH doesn't. We're both more or less atheists, and where for him that's the end of the story, for me it's the opening of more questions.

The ideological debate that we continuously (and lovingly and humorously) fight about is a bit more earthly. Cats or Dogs: Which are the superior pets? To me, the answer is obvious: Dogs. They didn't get the title of Humankind's Best Friend for nothing. They are very loving, they are wonderful. For all of FH's insightfulness, this is a topic that he can't get right. We leave pictures of our preferred pet everywhere, we get the other books that glorify the others at used book stores, it's a constant propaganda fight.

I knew that Will was going to love the minister as soon as three cats greeted us at the door.

And he was even happier when one, very dog-like cat might I add, parked himself in my lap for the meeting, purring with bliss.

She did a "get to know you" session, adding some (very useful) words of wisdom along the way. She reminds me of my grandmother - retired, but not really, still active, loving life, and very very happy.

She did kind of a brief version of a pre-wedding counseling, and she said that she thought we were in good shape. It was obvious that we've done a lot of thinking about what we're doing, what our problems are, and how we are fixing things as they come up.

Oh, and in addition to being very experienced, friendly, and wonderful, she was hilarious. Two hours flew by.

We paid her, chatted more, and left, driving back to my hometown (an hour away). Doing that inspired such an incredible sense of excitement about being married, that it's going to happen, that it's a great thing we are doing to each other, because talking about our relationship reminds us even more that it's a good thing, and there are a lot of reasons we are making it officially permanent, instead of de facto permanent.

-------------------------
My best friend is a guy. This is a bit weird, I met him through Will back in the days of undergrad. We have a lot in common, perspective wise, and pretty much for some odd reason he trusted me when he doesn't generally trust people - another good friend of mine says my "superhero power" is the ability to get shy men to trust me. I saw him a couple days ago, Will went with the Best Man (aka his best friend) to see "Drag Me to Hell" which features a character named Christine who has a couple idiosyncratic things in common with me (Will said it creeped him out). It was pretty much a couple hours talking about Will, how wonderful he is... My friend is convinced that we are amazing together, and has told me this many times, and while he was inclined to be a life long bachelor for a long time, he told me that seeing us together makes him want to start dating. He hopes to find someone who is like Will to me, and me to Will, someone who makes sense, someone who brings the same amount of joy to his life and that he can to theirs like Will and I do. And that's his reasoning. It was really, really touching.

[ChristineLS]

OK, now I feel guilty for the joshing about cats because Will's favorite childhood pet (a cat) was just put to sleep, and we heard about it today. :(

He's really upset.

[sandy03]

I'm so sorry about his cat! Sending you thoughts of love, peace, and comfort.

[ChristineLS]

I'm so sorry about his cat! Sending you thoughts of love, peace, and comfort.

Thank you! It is much appreciated :)

I knew someone had died with how upset he was - it didn't shock me to find out it was his cat with the level of grief that he had. Pets really do become part of the family....

[ChristineLS]

Will and I sat down yesterday and figured out a bunch more stuff.

The menu

Will had an epiphany, and it's both feasible and delicious. We started a once a week pot luck with our friends, just to make sure we are seeing them once a week (and we like eating.... a lot...) and Will made this barbeque pork out of a pork shoulder. It's like dry roasted pulled pork. It was really tasty.

So he got thinking, why not make some of that, some Syracuse-style pulled pork (there is a resturant in Syracuse, NY that's also in Rochester and NYC, but started in Syracuse, called Dinosaur Barbecue and their pulled pork is fantastic. And we have the recipe) and find one other type of pulled pork. We don't have any Jews or Muslims on our guest list (which is surprising to me, but it's mostly family, and our families tend to be atheist/Christian) The meat would run us about $100. We can make it in advanced, and heat it in the lodge's ovens during the ceremony. Instead of pasta, making salt potatoes (another Syracuse favorite) which involves boiling potatoes in salt water, walking away, draining, adding butter, and serving. We're still going to make a salad (I figure at the farmer's market, that would run us $30 to feed everyone). We have three vegetarians, one of which is the minister marrying us, and other is a close friend of mine so I'm going to ask her for advice on a good meat substitute dish.

A nice thing about a small wedding in which we know everyone so well, is that we know this stuff ahead of time.

Will is going to call some butchers in Central New York, but we're thinking the ingredients would run us about $300, high estimate. Including the meat, potatoes, sauces, rolls, veggies, salad dressing. My brother works at a local wholesale warehouse, so we have a free membership, and that makes buying stuff for this much, much cheaper.

This does not include the cost of a keg of beer, which we need to find out. I'd like to get some stuff from here (http://www.flyingbisonbrewery.com) because they make a lager that's really, really good. I'm not familiar with any Syracuse area local breweries (I mean, there is Saranac in Utica, but that's in Utica!). We'll see.

Ceremony/Reception

We've been struggling with the fact there are several traditions which strike us as very silly, and don't really reflect us:

Processional down the aisle
The "big reveal"
Bride being given away/supported but the groom is not


A lot of the partnership that a wedding is supposed to signify the start of really does not apply to us. We've been together nearly 4 years at the time of the wedding. That will be our 1 year anniversary of living together. There was no wedding proposal, we decided to get married mutually. Will is an atheist and an aisle seems odd, because, well, there's no place to hide anyone and anything (and that was attractive to us at the time, and now).

I am not comfortable with how much emphasis is placed on my appearance. I happily get through life focusing on other traits I have as opposed to my looks, which I feel is a lost cause, and I only say "lost cause" because I can't find a more positive way to say "out of my control, I look how I look and I'll just frustrate myself trying to improve it to a socially set standard of beauty that I cannot attain." I'm satisfied with how I look, but I don't feel it is reasonably possible to achieve some impossibly high level of gorgeousness to be a bride. That, and Will is not marrying me because I'm pretty. He has told me that while he considers me pretty, and certainly isn't complaining about that, the things that attracted him to me were and continue to be are my mind and my wits. And I would not have it any other way; those won't get wrinkles and grey hair. I'm doing my own hair and makeup, and it's not going to look all that different from how I do it day to day. I think makeup makes my appearance worse, not better, and I'm really, painfully awkward in situations that emphasize my appearance more than the rest of me. My guests are not going to see me be pretty; they are going to see me get married. The "big reveal" is an emphasis on beauty that I don't particularly like.

Will's problem with "the big reveal" is that he doesn't like the idea of me being presented to him as some sort of present, and to him that is what this is. He feels that the whole idea of "not seeing the bride" reminds him too much of arranged marriages and old marriage models that made women property, and that it's "Here's Chris, all packed and tied in a bow and presented to you" as he told me. It doesn't fit how we are, how we met, and how we wish to engage on our relationship in the future, and it makes him really uncomfortable.

So we're not doing it. :rofl:

The biggest problem is that for us, it feels really disengenuious to go through with traditional aspects, when we are not traditional people. It would feel fake and phony, and I feel that would be obvious to our guests.

So we need a way around that, without shocking everyone too much.

So this is what we came up with:

Instead of having everyone come in and find their seats while I'm sequestered off somewhere, we are going to invite everyone 1/2 hour early for "Drinks and mingling". We'll put together a cheese and cracker tray, with a case of wine open. The cheese and crackers would run about $25 getting the expensive stuff at the wholesale shop, plus a case of wine. (We are going to approach this (http://www.niagaralanding.com) and this (http://www.honeymoontrailwinery.com) winery, because they are really great wines that are not that expensive in the wine world to pick up some cases is discounted at that). Fortunately, our venue does not require alcohol licensing for private, self catered parties.

When guests arrive, we are both going to greet them and direct them in general what's going on. This accomplishes two things: makes everyone feel welcomed, and sets a bit of a non-traditional tone. We are having a wedding because we want to celebrate with our families and friends, not stay aloof! I'll be dressed. Will shall be dressed. If all goes to plan, people will help themselves to a bit of wine and start catching up with people they haven't seen in a while, or meet someone new. To make a "we're all friends here" kind of atmosphere before the ceremony starts.

Then, somehow, yet to be determined (bells? Best man and bridesmaid telling everyone? stopping music?) signal that the ceremony is starting. What we decide, we can tell our guests when we great them. Instead of a procession, Will and I (and attendants) will just be up there. We're going to ask the minister to say something to recognize and honor our families, since we want to honor them, but Dad's not going to be walking me down an aisle if we don't have one. We're going to arrange the tables into one group so this makes more sense, without doing a "Will's side" or a "Christine's Side" since my family sees each other a lot, and there are a lot of people in Will's family who don't talk to each other, and this allows Will's family to have peace kept and my family kind of loves everyone, so that works.

One thing I had wanted to do, was that I would sit with my parents, and Will would sit with my family, and have the officiant kind of call us up, and then give my folks a big, public hug, tell them I love them, and walk up there, the big glaring problem with this idea was that while it would work wonders for my family, and gets the sentiment across, Will's parents are relatively recently divorced. I'd still kind of like to do it this way (it's a bit of how the Quakers do it) but we'd need to come up with a solution to keeping Will's parents relatively happy and separated. Hmmm... We'd then proceed to the ceremony itself, which we need a lot of guidance from our officiant on exactly how to do it but she's an awesome lady so I'm excited to work with her.

After the ceremony, take about 20-30 minutes to do pictures, everyone can return to the wine and mingling, then when we are done, pull the pork out of the ovens, get the salt potatoes ready, and set the meal out Buffet style and let them serve themselves. Encourage people to "go outside and enjoy the day" if the weather is good. When people start finishing, get the horseshoes, cards, bocce ball, etc. I'm going to need an apron and some Tide sticks!

And to reduce the shock factor? Do it in advance! Or not...
I can tell my parents about it, and then the rest of my family will know in a matter of weeks. And then people might give us grief until the wedding, having time to assert that their ideas are right. Or we can surprise them. But then they'll all be like "But, but, HE IS SEEING YOU!!!" I'm not sure. But this way (outlined above) seem much more true to us, true to the sentiments we have and let us spend time with people accordingly. Oh, and afford it at the same time.

[EmmaM]

I really like the way you have taken the traditions you like and made the rest of it up. There are so many cliches about weddings, but I think one of the most important it is that its you and your FH's days and it should be the way you want it.

I've always said that I wouldn't get married in a church because it would be hypocritical, and its the same thing. It has to be true to your personalities! Good luck with explaining it to the families!

[sandy03]

I think that seems very appropriate for the two of you.

A good friend of mine didn't like the whole "bride being supported by family but not the groom" and wasn't really a fan of the idea of just having her father walk her down the aisle when BOTH her parents were important, so they used a Jewish tradition (even though they're both Christians and had a rather traditional, Christian service) - they were both walked down the aisle by both parents (his were divorced but they just walked him down the aisle, then sat with their respective SO) Since you aren't having an aisle that wouldn't really work for you, but maybe there is some way you could both have your parents walk you forward when the officiant calls you forward, get a hug, and then everyone go to their respective seats (even if they aren't sitting together, hopefully they could walk a dozen steps on either side of him without causing a huge problem!)

I'm glad things are coming together for you! Everything sounds great. Do you want to pass along that barbeque recipe? Pretty please??

[Thalia_themuse]

Ah Christine, I just know that in RL we would be firm friends... :happy:

We have similar issues with some of the traditions and have been discussing how to get around them... My first statement was there is no way my dad is walking out with me, and then I thought it would be nice for my brother (who is also a bridesmaid) to walk out with me. He is a significant person in my life (heck he inadvertently saved my life) and I wanted it to be him. However because I told him that, other people heard and they were not keen... I got told all sorts of things about how I had to have my dad walk me out... and these are from very non traditional people! I was rather shocked and upset by it all so now we aren't sure if we want to tell anyone *anything* about the wedding :irked:

For example, we are planning to have limited champagne for toasts but no more alcohol than that... Now we can either tell people beforehand and cop a LOT of flack about it for months and months, and risk people trying to sneak alcohol in... or we can not tell them and risk people complaining AT the wedding (maybe even going a bit psycho) etc. Urg, how to decide?!!?

Lol, anyway let us know what you decide to do!! I'm thinking of just having a wedding website that warns people to expect nothing and that it would be better not to think of the event as a normal 'wedding'... That way if they try to complain on the day I'd say "I warned you to expect nothing!" *shrug* not sure, it's difficult!!

But sounds like you guys have made some serious headway!! Congrats, it all sounds amazing!! It's very exciting to think about how everything will fit together and run, ne? Well I'm excited for you, anyway :whoohoo:

[amisteratwisterandme]

Christine,

I have a lot of respect for you for doing things your way. It seems the more I think about wedding planning, the less I want to do. Not in the way of it's a lot of work, but in the way of why?

I respect everyone's decision for their wedding. Full-blown traditional events are beautiful, Town hall? Great, Married at Disneyland, Sure let's go!

Unfortunately, I don't seem to fit into any of the molds. My father walking me down the aisle would be ludicrous, as he didn't raise me, my mom would hate being the center of attention. Okay, I too would hate the attention :)

I am torn between doing what I want to do, which is just me and fh, and doing what I think is more acceptable to everyone else.

It sounds like a very relaxing, fun day, and I am glad that you are excited about it!

[ChristineLS]

Thanks for all the support ladies! :D :flower:

Do you want to pass along that barbeque recipe? Pretty please??

Oh yes.... I'm going home this weekend, so I'll get the one my parents use, which is better than the one I do :D

Ah Christine, I just know that in RL we would be firm friends...

You should know that in real life, you would have seen me smile ear to ear with that very wonderful compliment! :D

We decided we're going to tell the relevant parties about the plans, and let everyone else be surprised. Life is much easier that way - we don't need any backseat wedding planners. ;) And the "relevant parties" will give us enough flack.

I am torn between doing what I want to do, which is just me and fh, and doing what I think is more acceptable to everyone else.

I've been fighting the heavy weight of expectations too... What helped me decide was, which situation would I be more uncomfortable in, the one where I was true to myself or the one that I was pleasing everyone else? The one I was true to myself, and then I asked myself why? Because I'm a people pleaser. I decided that this is my favor in my particular case, my way of growing a spine.

You know, if you don't fit into any molds, no reason not to fashion your own :)


You all are such a wonderful source of encouragement and support, and I really, really appreciate it! FH and I would have had a clue about anything without reading here all the time.

Oh, Will finished designing the invitations. We're going to send them to Vistaprint, and when we get them in hand... I'll post pics :D

[ChristineLS]

I am sitting here writing out addresses for invites...

and it turns out, a lot of our friends considered the Save the Date facebook group that we did to be their RSVP to the wedding, or just told us about it that they are going.

We are still sending invitations to them, since it has all the info on it, and because Will did a great job making them, and we want to show it off.

It's kind of cool, I haven't even mailed these yet and we already have confirmations!

[sandy03]

That's awesome about your friends already letting you know about their plans. I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to see the invites!

[Kay]

I just want to take a moment and tell you that I think your version of a wedding is wonderful. Weddings should be unique and personalized and I applaude your sense of style. Congratulations and I hope all goes well! :)

[ChristineLS]

Will made the invites. Since they were mailed, I'll post them:

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/SkjJJM6yjnI/AAAAAAAAAFg/NcJv4Xrm2iY/s800/June%202009%20125.JPG

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/SkjJJWfxGwI/AAAAAAAAAFk/aOJxrNkIiuQ/s800/June%202009%20127.jpg

I think he did a great job. That's photoshop and vistaprint on a "holiday card". We paid extra for the color and uploading an image. I did all the invite addresses, and boy I am so sick of writing our address! ;)

[gwenshack]

Those look great Christine! :) I'm so excited for you - everything seems to really be coming together. :)

[Docsgirl]

Oooh! Very nice! :D

[sandy03]

Those are beautiful! I love them!

[Kay]

We are VistaPrint invitation people too! Good Job!

[ChristineLS]

I'm going to post this here, in case some other gals in the future end up with this problem.

Long story short, one of Will's Aunts had me listed in her address book as "Christine MyLast-HisLast". I had told her that I am keeping my name, and she told me her daughter did too, but hyphened it at the request of her husband. I was, "Yeah, OK, cool", whatever. Then we received a couple emails this way. I asked Will to send a response to her, and he wrote one that was like this:

"Hi Aunt _______,

I noticed that when you copied Christine to the email, you had her name addressed as Christine HerLast-MyLast. Just so you know we do not plan to change either of our names. It's just going to be Will MyLast and Christine HerLast...

-Will"

We are telling people that "we do not plan to change either of our names" or "we are both keeping our names" to point out that it is a mutually supported concept for us and our own way of questioning why the custom expects only wives to do it, which, to us, is problematic to our life philosophies. Will did it here since I already told her about that, and getting the person who is her blood relative, and the other half of the equation, to express support, makes it seem less like one is dominating the other. So we hoped.

The response we received was along the lines of this:

"I know that. It's my way of knowing who she is (family) from a client because I use this email address for business too. If you'd rather I can change it."

The name was still wrong in that email too. The icing on the cake is that my email address is christine.[mylastname]@[emailprovider].com.

There aren't any other Christine MyLasts in Buffalo (as opposed to my hometown, where there were) so I'm not sure what the need was. I think the response was more from a place of not wanting to be wrong rather than logistics, but the logistical reason given was, to me, much more offensive (instead of learning who you are, I'm going to rename you.) My family does not address Will as "Will HisLast-MyLast". It is an issue of respect to us.

Uh, the response really angered me, as names are a sensitive topic for me and one of the fastest ways to piss me off is to try to shove me back into a box that I am stepping out of. I figured it was not a good idea for my response to reflect that. If I addressed it in person, my anger would be very apparent and thus bad for family politics. Obviously I want my name correct, but I was at a loss for a way to say that which was diplomatic.

I posted this conundrum on the offbeatbride boards, since a lot people keep their names there, and a gal with the handle Emily_Sullivan_Sanford (the academic in me feels the need to cite my source) posted this:

"Sorry if this sounds as though we're dictating your organizing system - lord knows our own systems are structured in ways only we can understand :-). I just have some concerns about being addressed inaccurately since it's already begun to happen among friends and strangers alike, and that can complicate matters both personal and business-related for me. The more people see it written that way, the more people I have to correct. It'd be great if you could change it."

I think that was brilliant, and could also work for people who get the wrong name because they are changing it too, if they have some pesky offices that don't like changing stuff. If she gets angry at that... well, there is just no hope ;)

I hope that is useful to someone, as it really was for me!

[ChristineLS]

We got our honeymoon set up! :D :D :D :D

The Unitarian Universalist Community in Saranac Lake (in the Adirondack Mountains in NYS) runs a sort of do it yourself Bed and Breakfast. The rate cannot be beat - and it looks like the woman that we are staying with is a really cool cat. She runs the Rhubarb festival in Saranac Lake, and asked us to tell her what our three favorite pies are. You can guess one of them we suggested. I'm so excited - not only can we afford this, but it seems really interesting and I love meeting new people.

And it is half subsidized by my colleagues at the university who pitched in a card and a lot of money (especially for graduate students!!!!!) which increased our honey moon budget by 50%. I need to mail the check (which won't be hard to do) and yay! I am so excited.

[gwenshack]

We got our honeymoon set up! :D :D :D :D

The Unitarian Universalist Community in Saranac Lake (in the Adirondack Mountains in NYS) runs a sort of do it yourself Bed and Breakfast. The rate cannot be beat - and it looks like the woman that we are staying with is a really cool cat. She runs the Rhubarb festival in Saranac Lake, and asked us to tell her what our three favorite pies are. You can guess one of them we suggested. I'm so excited - not only can we afford this, but it seems really interesting and I love meeting new people.

And it is half subsidized by my colleagues at the university who pitched in a card and a lot of money (especially for graduate students!!!!!) which increased our honey moon budget by 50%. I need to mail the check (which won't be hard to do) and yay! I am so excited.

Hooray for a honeymoon!!! :)

P.S. I :heart: rhubarb pie. Yum!

[ChristineLS]

So far, lots of RSVPs are coming back and... no one has expressed regret :D

And! Will's brother, who is a bit of performer, agreed to do a reading at our wedding. He is the sort of person who is lighthearted in everything, and that everyone enjoys. I can't wait to hear him, I'm as excited about his enthusiasm as I am that he agreed.

So I left my sister a message and to see if she would do the same. She's not Will's brother, but still :)

This is coming together well, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's just a change in attitude from a year ago, when it felt like a burden... now I'm really getting into it.

[gwenshack]

It's just a change in attitude from a year ago, when it felt like a burden... now I'm really getting into it.

What a nice feeling...:)

[ChristineLS]

What a nice feeling...:)

Indeed! :D

[Docsgirl]

Your wedding sounds awesome so far! :D I'm glad you're getting into it and excited!

[ChristineLS]

Your wedding sounds awesome so far! :D I'm glad you're getting into it and excited!

Thank you!

**********************

There was dress drama. See this thread (http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=27408). But it looks like it will turn out OK...

So I went to Will's Mom's, about forty five minutes away, and dropped off some stuff for his grandmother. For table clothes, we are going to get some painter's drop clothes, cut them, and silk screen them with a print of dahlias that Will's grandmother (who is an artist) is creating. We bought the silk screening supplies for his grandmother. Will's mother is also an artist as well, and pretty much loves all sorts of DIY flower projects.

She and Will's brother are growing dahlias and gladiolas for the project. The gladiolas won't bloom for awhile, but the dahlias... wow. The pictures do not do the rich colors of these flowers justice. They bloom throughout the summer, but you need to cut off the blooms so that more can come about so she cut them for me. But not before I snapped a bunch of pictures :D

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/SldO-8K9jnI/AAAAAAAAAHY/S6tM-rjt0j4/s800/Flowers%20and%20Painting%20July%202009%20006.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/SldO_Gc7HVI/AAAAAAAAAG8/pZp7Uclkr5k/s800/Flowers%20and%20Painting%20July%202009%20007.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/SldO_SrOJyI/AAAAAAAAAHA/NnaQda4LPYA/s800/Flowers%20and%20Painting%20July%202009%20010.jpg

And that's just a sampling. They look amazing, and trust me, the camera washed out a lot of the vividness of the color!

[SkippyNXC]

wow!! awesome flowers! i wish i had a green thumb like that!

[ChristineLS]

wow!! awesome flowers! i wish i had a green thumb like that!

Me too! My jaw dropped when I saw them!

[sandy03]

Those are so beautiful! I love Dahlias! Did you know gladiolas are the "birth flower" (sort of like birthstone) for August? It's very appropriate since you're getting married in August!

[gwenshack]

Those are so beautiful! I love Dahlias! Did you know gladiolas are the "birth flower" (sort of like birthstone) for August? It's very appropriate since you're getting married in August!

I didn't know there was such a thing as a "birth flower". How interesting! (And convenient that you're discussing August since that's my month...teehee :winktongue:)

Christine, those flowers are awe inspiring. So beautiful! :)

[sandy03]

I didn't know there was such a thing as a "birth flower". How interesting! (And convenient that you're discussing August since that's my month...teehee :winktongue:)

LOL! The only reason I know is that it's my flower. The other August flower is a Poppy in case you're wondering.

And August's birthstone, peridot, represents "Married Happiness" :)

[ChristineLS]

Those are so beautiful! I love Dahlias! Did you know gladiolas are the "birth flower" (sort of like birthstone) for August? It's very appropriate since you're getting married in August!

...Really? I had no idea! :) That's strikes me as a good omen.


I didn't know there was such a thing as a "birth flower". How interesting! (And convenient that you're discussing August since that's my month...teehee )

Christine, those flowers are awe inspiring. So beautiful!

Thanks! :) I can take no credit for it - it's all Will's mother and brother!

[gwenshack]

LOL! The only reason I know is that it's my flower. The other August flower is a Poppy in case you're wondering.

And August's birthstone, peridot, represents "Married Happiness" :)

I knew the birthstone was peridot, but I had no idea that's what it represents. Seems Sandy is spreading good omens all over the place tonight! :)

[sandy03]

I don't know about good omens, but I can spread lots of useless knowledge!

[Ninedays9]

Just dropping by to say... I like your invites! And I kind of know what you mean about all the traditions. I'm skipping out on some of them, like the no seeing each other before the ceremony (though we will not see each other til we get pictures done... only because I want my Cinderella-like presence to be a surprise for him, hehe), and the bouquet/garter toss. I think doing your wedding your way is a grand idea, and your guests will enjoy it.

[ChristineLS]

So, I got the fixed dress back from the cleaners. It's not quite fixed, as the elastic on the top is too loose. But they don't like me, I don't like them, it needs to be hemmed anyway and so I decided to take it and pay for the alterations when I do the rest of th stuff. I take it to this place that my neighbor recommended. I walk in, and a gal, my age and height is getting a gorgeous gown fitted. The tailor is this older Italian lady. She telling this gal how expensive it will be to fix her dress. She looks at me, asks what I need. I mention that I need a dress altered. She directs me to a fitting room to put it on so that she can pin it. She continues to alter the other gal's dress. Through the course of the conversation, I discover that the other gal is Jamaican (she is Black).

So the gal goes to get her dress off of her, and I have mine, and the tailor asks me where it's from, how old, and I respond that it's my mom's wedding dress. She asks if I'm Jewish. I get asked that occassionally, and it confuses me, since I don't think I look Jewish, I think I look more German than anything else. I respond that I'm Italian (because over half of me is) and she is like, "wow, because in Italy it's only Catholic, and the orthodox are in Serbia and Greece and Russia...." ...Huh? There are a couple other communication errors, as this lady is an Italian immigrant, judging by her accent, and I write it off on the language barrier.

So I go back to change out of the dress, and the other gal starts to discuss the cost of the alterations. Her gown is pretty complicated, so the alterations were going to be a couple hundred dollars. And she's instructed that she needs to put half down now as a deposit, and pay the rest later. They discuss what a racket weddings are with the expenses, and that the tailor claims she only does honest work, etc etc. The gal pays and leaves.

I come out with my dress. We discuss why the previous dress was so expensive, there are layers of lining, etc. My dress is going to cost $55 in alterations. She takes only cash or check. I start to mildly panic, as I'm not sure I have $27.50 in cash with me (I almost never carry cash) and she tells me not to worry. I can pay when I pick it up. She only makes the Black customers pay half first.

My jaw drops. What?

She only makes the Black customers pay half first because the black customers leave their clothes at her tailor shop and move to another city.

What... the ...?

See, we live in a college town, and this tailor shop is next to the largest university in Buffalo. That probably happens... university students are a transitional, fleeting population. But I have a hard time believing that it's only the Black customers that do it. A very hard time.

Not to mention, why would the previous gal leave a wedding dress worth several thousand dollars (easily!) at a tailor's shop? I would think that would be the security!

Will thinks the reason that she asked if I was Jewish was that if the response was an affirmative, she would have made me pay upfront.

I'm really embarrassed to say that I did not grab my dress and decline her business right then and there as I should have. I went back the next morning and told her that I changed my mind. She glared at me. I think she knew why. She yelled inside to the man in the back in Italian to get my dress, and I did, and got back the bag it was in (a bag from a bookstore in Russia that has Russian written all over it) and I got back in the car, dropped off my fiance at the best man's apartment to fix a computer and went to the last place I knew of that does alterations. It's in the Walden Galleria mall.

It's called Chayban's and their business cards comically say "Chayban's Taylors" which is funny to me. They are also, as far as I can tell, Italian immigrants. I walk into the shop, and tell them that I need the dress altered. I put it on, and he looks at it and goes, "Wow, what a nice dress, where did you buy it?" and I told him it was my mother's prom dress and he said "Ah, they don't make them this way anymore." He pinned up the dress and we talked about how it would be altered (taking the four inches it needs chopped at the waist as opposed to the bottom, which is much more labor intensive and thus expensive... but I think that will look much more in proportion). It is going to cost $95. OK. But they seemed nice and it will be altered as I want it to be, and I can live with giving them my business!

Oi!

[gwenshack]

That is SO messed up. Glad you got your dress back and found somebody else. I won't work with people I don't respect either. :winktongue:

[ChristineLS]

I survived obtaining a marriage license.

Our car broke down, and it's now at Will's father's best friend's car repair shop in the next county. A friend of ours asked us to babysit his truck for the summer, but because it's not ours, we are trying to use it only once a week (to keep it from seizing up) and not more - though he did give us expressed permission to use it whenever we needed, to his credit. Anyway, we walked to the subway and took it all the way to City Hall and filled out the paperwork. The weather was perfect for the trip, actually. We filled out the paper work over a loud clanking sound since they are renovating city hall. All this was without a hitch.

I was really excited to have this done - I mean, it's the important part. So we are on the elevator for the trip down (the office is on the 13th floor of the building) and I go over to give Will a kiss. I kiss him and at that moment the elevator drops, goes up, and stays stopped at the floor for a minute. We look at each other. I go to the opposite end, to see if maybe it was unbalanced. The counter goes up one floor, and the elevator resumes. It goes about three more floors and falls, halts, and goes up and stops. Will pushed the button for the next floor and we walked the rest of the way down.

It was a little frightening, but also a little funny!

[amisteratwisterandme]

I'm really embarrassed to say that I did not grab my dress and decline her business right then and there as I should have. I went back the next morning and told her that I changed my mind.
Oi!

Don't be embarrassed about it. Sometimes the shock of stupid people makes us react a bit slower than we would like to think we would. The important thing is that you did stand up for what was right. Good for you! I think by going in the next morning and just asking for your dress back probably left a bigger impact than if you were to get irate that night. That puts her racism firmly in her lap, and she can't blame you for being angry.

[ChristineLS]

I got a call from the tailor, and I can pick up the dress. AND Will's wedding band was shipped... should get that on thursday :D

[ChristineLS]

I picked up the dress and it's perfect. Yesterday's Will's engagement watch came in, it only took him forever and a day to decide on it.

I'm feeling a bit low because of the quitting coffee (never thought that a drink could change my personality so much) and because, for reasons that I don't want to post anywhere on the internet, my bachelorette party is officially gone. But bumming me worse is the reason, because it was needless and it's causing my family a lot of stress and anxiety. My MOH is not going to be able to participate or help with it, and my other bridesmaid is out of town. Will says I should grab a few friends to do something in Buffalo, but that's called "Tuesday" around here. I was looking forward to something where my sister would finally visit me up here, after I've been in the area five years, but that is not to be. It's a bit disappointing. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be, but I'm kind of bummed. Sorry for being cryptic, but that's just how it is. :(

[sandy03]

I'm really happy everything worked out well for your dress. I'm really sorry about your bachelorette party! If I could get away, I'd be happy to hop a plane to Buffalo and have a night out with you. If you want to head down to Alabama I'll take you out! :)

[ChristineLS]

I'm really happy everything worked out well for your dress. I'm really sorry about your bachelorette party! If I could get away, I'd be happy to hop a plane to Buffalo and have a night out with you. If you want to head down to Alabama I'll take you out! :)

You are so sweet! <3

[SkippyNXC]

aw if i was in b-lo still i'd take ya to chippewa for the nite LOL ;)

i'm really happy all worked out w/ur dress tho! i guess that's the silver lining to this gray cloud :(

[pinkbride]

im glad your dress is ready and perfect, what was that all about with the other fitter!? I cant believe she would say something racist like that!! Im so glad you took your business else where even though it did cost a bit more!

Do we get to see your dress? or have to wait til the big day :D xxxx

[ChristineLS]

im glad your dress is ready and perfect, what was that all about with the other fitter!? I cant believe she would say something racist like that!! Im so glad you took your business else where even though it did cost a bit more!

Do we get to see your dress? or have to wait til the big day :D xxxx

I got the dress back, and it fits well. I'll post pictures when it's not all hot and sweaty. I think there is a thread around here with the unfitted dress... but yeah, you won't have to wait till the big day! :)

Speaking of hot, I was walking home from campus (I needed the car so I dropped it off for Will and then walked home), and as I am on my street, I see the Fed Ex truck drive by. I had a feeling. Get to the door, and the slip was for me. It's for Will's wedding band! They need a signature from a person there... but ugh, JUST missed it! The tracker told me not until tomorrow, Fed Ex was speedy.

I think I'm going to drive to the central place tonight after Will gets home with the car. He's got to stick around and get some stuff done, and watch Le Tour (De France, that it) so I think I am going to take the car and pick it up, rather than being stuck at home working.

Soooooo close! ;)

[gwenshack]

Oh good. I'm so relieved to hear your dress is back and perfect! Phew! :)

[ChristineLS]

And Will is off on the Bachelor Party Camping Trip. We had his best friend from high school, his brother, and his freshman roommate over, and the best man had another assortment of friends at his apartment. It's a reunion of sorts for Will's friends.

And they left at 6:00AM and won't be back until Sunday. I decided to take the weekend and pretend to be single (ie Miss him terribly). He took the car with him, and I wish it wasn't supposed to thunderstorm the whole time...

What's kind of a bummer, is since we have largely the same group of friends, and a few of my friends are out of town visiting family... there is like no one left in Buffalo. It will be quiet...

[pinkbride]

Aww you should have so gone with him ;) he will be back before ya know it xxxxx

[ChristineLS]

Less than three weeks until I'm a married Ms. S-------.... holy cow.

Will had a great time at the trip, they pretty much goofed off the whole weekend. I enjoyed the solitude, and had a friend over for a bit.

But, wow, I'll be married soon. I'm really hoping it doesn't change our relationship, I want it as it is! I have no reason to think it will change though.

....We have so much to do......

[gwenshack]

Less than three weeks until I'm a married Ms. S-------.... holy cow.

Will had a great time at the trip, they pretty much goofed off the whole weekend. I enjoyed the solitude, and had a friend over for a bit.

But, wow, I'll be married soon. I'm really hoping it doesn't change our relationship, I want it as it is! I have no reason to think it will change though.

....We have so much to do......

I was worried about it changing our relationship too...and...phew...no different. :)
Saturday night we were hanging out with these people who we sort of know (ok, don't know us very well) and this kind of dumb girl (I'm trying to be nice here) pulls out her video camera and is all like "Ok, it's like a little When Harry Met Sally! I'm gonna videotape and you tell us what marriage is like!" DH and I just looked at each other like "who is this stupid drunk girl?" So she turns the camera on and said "Ok, tell us how marriage is different!" And I got the joy of looking at her and saying "It's not..." and walking away...LOL :)

[ChristineLS]

I was worried about it changing our relationship too...and...phew...no different. :)
Saturday night we were hanging out with these people who we sort of know (ok, don't know us very well) and this kind of dumb girl (I'm trying to be nice here) pulls out her video camera and is all like "Ok, it's like a little When Harry Met Sally! I'm gonna videotape and you tell us what marriage is like!" DH and I just looked at each other like "who is this stupid drunk girl?" So she turns the camera on and said "Ok, tell us how marriage is different!" And I got the joy of looking at her and saying "It's not..." and walking away...LOL :)

It's funny that you should mention that... I was washing dishes at my church's coffee hour (I actually went and signed the book, making me a real live UU... woo!) and the other fellow washing dishes, a widower who is now married, told me that he thinks a lot of people's problems with marriage is that they follow the river of expectation, assuming because their parents did it some way, they should, or they don't live with the person before hand. He said that he thinks the best way people should go about it is with their eyes wide open and testing it out for a bit. That things don't have to change unless you want them too.

So I'm hoping our relationship alters as much as yours and Ron's did ;)

(And uh, kind of dumb... yeah, I can sense that)

[sandy03]

I'm getting really excited for you! I can't resist the urge to put on my pastor hat for just a second - Yeah, your relationship is going to change. It's just part of life. But it's not the wedding that's going to make it happen, it's the marriage - sharing your lives together and encountering things TOGETHER as the two of you grow and change. Don't dread it, look forward to it!

[ChristineLS]

I'm getting really excited for you! I can't resist the urge to put on my pastor hat for just a second -


Your pastor hat doesn't bother me! :)

Yeah, your relationship is going to change. It's just part of life. But it's not the wedding that's going to make it happen, it's the marriage - sharing your lives together and encountering things TOGETHER as the two of you grow and change. Don't dread it, look forward to it!

Those are the sorts of changes that happened in the past year - we've been treating living together as "figuring out neogotiated roles in marriage" more or less. As long as it doesn't change in a way that my career is hampered because of an assumption that as a wife I'll stop to care about it, or people put all the social coordination on me because I'm a wife... Living life together is exactly the change I want, but some wifely expectations feel oppressive to me (and to Will, actually) so I'm hoping that we won't have to fight our way out of that box, you know?

I certainly appreciate the reminder of WHICH change is going to happen - and that it's the reason I'm doing it :)

[FutureMrsWilson]

I'll chime in, too :D

FH and I have been living together - we don't feel marriage will change us all that much, but, honestly, I never thought he would ask me. I think more change has come out of him giving me a ring, suggesting dates and honeymoons, etc, than it has from us living together. It's not that I didn't think he loved me, or that I loved him, it just takes you to that new level - that level of "Oh, we're REALLY going to be together forever." kind of deal.

Aside from that, I don't see anything changing with us. We both put forth effort financially, romantically, etc. as it is. We know each other's bad habits, quirks, and buttons.

I think all will be the same - I'll still have my friends, he'll have his, and we'll still go watch the big UFC fights at my old boss' house.

[ChristineLS]

True....

I'm probably worrying for nothing, thanks everyone :)

**********

I think Will may just have started to care about this more than I have. :bbeek:

It's the best thing to lift the weight off of my back! :)

[ChristineLS]

I won this pendant and received it in the mail today, it's gorgeous, understated, and really sparkles!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250466121976&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT#ht_1288wt_908

It goes with my grandmother's opal earrings (circular) and my emerald engagement ring! :)

Now I'm done with jewelry... time to focus on the music :)

[gwenshack]

It's beautiful! :)

[Mrs.Goff]

That's very pretty. Congrats.

[pinkbride]

aww thats so pretty, wahoo!! xx

[Kay]

Beautiful Pendant!!

[Thalia_themuse]

ZOMG your pendant is gorgeous!! :whoohoo:

[ChristineLS]

Thanks everyone!

TWO WEEKS from yesterday. Thank goodness Will is helping me, or else I'd really go nuts!

I got called by the lodge today, and we needed to tell them how many people are showing up. We called everyone who didn't RSVP that we had contact info for (5 people) and there are five that we have not heard from, on Will's side. We don't have contact info for them. Well, 75 people (we invited 85) have told us they were coming, two more after prodding, and then the venue called us. I told them to get 80 seats, and Will's mom freaked out with "What if they show up?!" since the real no-contact people are on her side. I'm very happy to say SOL because they should know better, and if they can't be bothered to pick up the phone or to write an email (or a letter, as my grandmother did!) they probably won't drive the 2.5 hours out to get there. My family got back to me. His dad's side got back to me. Most of our friends got back to us, and we contacted those that didn't, and they all thought they already told us.

The good news is that the venue sets up the tables and chairs, not us. We have A LOT more time to get ready!!!!

My sister asked me this morning, after visiting me for two days, if she could bring a date, her boyfriend that she's been seeing since April. That she just told me about. And by this morning, I mean four AM, as I was dropping her off at the train station. I haven't met the guy - well, that's not fair to say. I went to his older sister's birthday party in fifth grade. And I didn't like him in elementary school, he was a punk. I haven't met him, seen him, or heard anything about him since. I told her no, and then after consulting Will and my mom, I told her yes, as long as she's OK with him being with my parents while we are at the head table. I'm hoping the answer is no. Part of my bias may be that I don't like her boyfriends on the whole. I was a bit annoyed - she couldn't have asked me sooner? She's my maid of honor and that was pretty thoughtless.

Will's dad is taking care of the beer - thank goodness! That is so much less stress. And we are buying the wine tomorrow. Woo!

[amisteratwisterandme]

Wow Christine,

Less than 2 weeks to go. Sounds like everything is coming together fairly well though.

That was pretty thoughtless of your sister but it was nice of you to concede to her.

[ChristineLS]

Wow Christine,

Less than 2 weeks to go. Sounds like everything is coming together fairly well though.

That was pretty thoughtless of your sister but it was nice of you to concede to her.

Thanks! I need to learn to roll with things a touch better.


In other news, you all should be jealous of the three cases of wine sitting in my living room. Will and I went to the Niagara Landing winery in Lockport, not too far from us. They gave us a "Congrats!" discount on top of the 20% off the three cases... so 25% off the order. We purchased $500 worth of wine for $365. Not too shabby!

And it's all really, really good wine. :D

[amisteratwisterandme]

O love a great deal! You are getting so close..l:bbeek:

[ChristineLS]

O love a great deal! You are getting so close..l:bbeek:

Tell me about it!

Part of me is really excited, but the other part is a bit mad because it means graduate school is starting up really soon too!

A close friend of mine agreed to feed my fish while we are gone! Turns out he's taking off some time for a bit of a stay-cation of sorts... so I've got fourteen critters that I don't have to feel guilty for leaving alone :)

[gwenshack]

That's a lot of critters!

[ChristineLS]

That's a lot of critters!

That's not including the snails in the tank either... but they can die and I'd be OK with that :P

I have 4 neon tetras, 4 ember tetras, 4 blood fin tetras and 2 white cloud minnows. They are all pretty cool :D

[FutureMrsWilson]

Oh, wow!

Do you have any pics of your fish??

Also, definitely jealous of the wine..

And you really sound like you've got everything worked out perfectly, as far as your to-do list goes - amazing! ;) Hope you enjoy the next week and some-odd days! :D

[ChristineLS]

Done:
-Percolator came in the mail (we bought a used one off of Ebay, and now we'll just bring it to large family functions)
-Mom got ice buckets
-Ordered Pork (99 cents lb from Wegmans, AND they are cutting it up, 40 lbs = $40! Go my former employer!)
-Ordered Kaiser Rolls - I probably should have ordered these from P&C given that every man in my family works there... but I ordered them from Wegmans because it's closer to us. 8 dozen = $40. It's just as expensive as the meat!
-Pulled out the Dinosaur Barbecue sauce (http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com/browseProducts.php?cat=1) from our cubboard (you know you're from Syracuse, NY, when you have about a gallon laying around...)
-Called about the salt potatoes (http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Syracuse-Salt-Potatoes/Detail.aspx)... turns out, I don't need to reserve that
-Rest of the punch glass (to be a favor) from the thrift store... these come with the bowls too and we are going to use them to put fruit in and serve stuff!

Need to be done:
-Change reading for Evan
-Gifts for parents
-Names on places, and then table chart
-A way to identify the tables
-Pull the design on the table cloths
-Figure out flower arrangements exactly
-Get floral tape so I can make boutonnieres for parents (from my days working in the floral department... corsages are a pain in the butt, but I might make them anyway)
-Type up wine descriptions
-Make a packing list
-Get key to D, warn neighbors he has permission
-Give tomatoes to neighbors since they'll be ripe right before we go away
-BEER with Will's dad
-MUSIC! We need a lot of hours of music...

FYI - we could have made this much less expensive by making it dry! Future budget brides take note! (Except we like alcohol too much not to have it at our wedding!)

[SkippyNXC]

yaaay! ur getting close! u can do it!

[starsthrumysoul]

I just realized that it's getting close for you guys.... you've gotta be getting SO excited!!!!!

[ChristineLS]

Oh, wow!

Do you have any pics of your fish??

Also, definitely jealous of the wine..

And you really sound like you've got everything worked out perfectly, as far as your to-do list goes - amazing! ;) Hope you enjoy the next week and some-odd days! :D


Thank you! :flower:

Here are some (unfortunately blurry) pictures of my fish... just for you :)

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/Snr8Qoku2gI/AAAAAAAAAK4/OYPRajtoSH4/s400/August%202009%20088.JPG
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/Snr8RPFM0OI/AAAAAAAAAK8/8ftzc7WKkFY/s400/August%202009%20089.JPG
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/Snr8RTTboyI/AAAAAAAAALA/dt97omueBG0/s400/August%202009%20090.JPG
http://lh6.ggpht.com/_iJCf95tjkCE/Snr8SWz2ZWI/AAAAAAAAALI/ZNeGvTsPT9Y/s400/August%202009%20092.JPG

[Thalia_themuse]

Heehee, FISHIES!! :happy:

You guys are so close!! Good luck the last bunch of stuff to do, hope it all goes smoothly!

Wheeeeee, you're gonna be married soon!!! :whoohoo:

[Bunnyfeet]

Congrats on it coming up soon;
It looks like you've done great with all the projects so far! :D

[amisteratwisterandme]

Christine,

I thought I read some where that you weren't going to be on here much prior to the wedding, so I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Wishing you the very best!

[sandy03]

Good luck on your last few days! I'm sending lots of love and happy thoughts your way!

[pinkbride]

yay its nearly here!! so exciting hope everything is running smoothly xxx

[ChristineLS]

Thanks everyone! :heart:

Over yesterday and today we:

Got beer taken care of (his dad)
Pulled the table cloth patterns with the design his grandmother silk screened. I'll post pictures later - they look *good*!
Figured out the flowers - his mom
Picked up serving ware - my parents (in another example of them solving problems I didn't know/remember that I had! :heart:)

So close! I am really excited!

[Thalia_themuse]

Thanks everyone! :heart:

Over yesterday and today we:

Got beer taken care of (his dad)
Pulled the table cloth patterns with the design his grandmother silk screened. I'll post pictures later - they look *good*!
Figured out the flowers - his mom
Picked up serving ware - my parents (in another example of them solving problems I didn't know/remember that I had! :heart:)

So close! I am really excited!

Yay! :whoohoo: sounds like you guys are going great!!

So excited for you!! :jphappy:

[f77g4]

Your to-do list is looking great!!! Yay!

So exciting! 1 week from today you're getting married!!

[fireprincess2009]

Sounds like you're doing great. So excited for you! Continued good fortune your last week!

[f77g4]

Christine, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck on Sunday. I'm heading to my hometown today and will likely have limited access to the internet.

May you and Will have a beautiful day, surrounded by everyone that is important to you, filled with such love for the day!

To many years of happiness for you both!

Best wishes!

[ChristineLS]

So right now I'm in the laundry mat. When I get back, I'll be having my coffee, cleaning the apartment, and making sure we have all our wedding/honeymoon stuff in the van. We'll be driving to my parents house in Syracuse and spending the next four nights there, getting stuff ready for the wedding. After a bit of drama (see the private section, I haven't been posting the stuff here... so I think a bunch of you think I've had a smoother process than truth be told it's been! :P) I am looking forward to resting a bit "at home" and seeing my family of origin and dog... before I make my own family. After Sunday I'll be away without internet in the Adirondacks... I cannot wait. Some time with Will, just Will and I without our friends and family - who I do cherish, it means a lot to me to have some time of just him to ourself.

We have so much to do! I will be mostly off the internet, because we'll be cooking, finishing the decorations, getting everything organized... I'm a little overwhelmed thinking about it.

Thank you all for your kind words! I probably won't be on much until after the honeymoon :D

Good luck!

[f77g4]

So right now I'm in the laundry mat. When I get back, I'll be having my coffee, cleaning the apartment, and making sure we have all our wedding/honeymoon stuff in the van. We'll be driving to my parents house in Syracuse and spending the next four nights there, getting stuff ready for the wedding. After a bit of drama (see the private section, I haven't been posting the stuff here... so I think a bunch of you think I've had a smoother process than truth be told it's been! :P) I am looking forward to resting a bit "at home" and seeing my family of origin and dog... before I make my own family. After Sunday I'll be away without internet in the Adirondacks... I cannot wait. Some time with Will, just Will and I without our friends and family - who I do cherish, it means a lot to me to have some time of just him to ourself.

We have so much to do! I will be mostly off the internet, because we'll be cooking, finishing the decorations, getting everything organized... I'm a little overwhelmed thinking about it.

Thank you all for your kind words! I probably won't be on much until after the honeymoon :D

Good luck!

Have a safe trip Christine!

[SkippyNXC]

have a safe trip, wonderful wedding... and AMAZING honeymoon then ;)

u'll be in our thoughts while ur not around here...

[FutureMrsWilson]

:w00t:
FOUR MORE DAYS!!!!

I can't wait to see everything come together!! Be careful traveling - don't get stressed and have an amazing next few days!!

AH! See, I've barely been around a month an I'm already so excited for you girls after reading every page and detail of your wedding :gurn:

I hope your wedding is all that you expect it to be and more - and you have the time of your life on the honeymoon. I know you will be B-E-A-U-tiful and Will will be BEAMING!!

..And hurry back so I can see pictures :tongue:

[pinkbride]

roll on sunday!! hope you have a fantastic wonderful time and enjoy every minute of it xxxxxx

[Mrs.Goff]

I hope the snags are few and I hope you have the time of your life. Good luck and congrats.

[amisteratwisterandme]

Christine,

Try to take a few minutes to sit back and reflect on the life you and Will have planned for. What a journey!

Congratulations and we will be celebrating with you in spirit!!!

[gwenshack]

Christine!

I just wanted to wish you all the best of luck and express my congratulations to you! I can't believe the time has already come! :grinhappy: Hopefully you won't have any further drama with Will's mom and everyone will get along and come together to celebrate the wonderful partnership you and Will have created! I hope you have a phenomenal day. I can't wait to see all your hard work come together. Pictures ASAP! Hope it is the best day and everything you've dreamed it would be!

:soppy: Gwen

[Docsgirl]

Ahhh! It's so close! Congrats and I can't wait to see pictures of your big day! :D

[jamt]

i hope that all the hard work an planning comes together to give you an will the day of your dreams i have really enjoyed following your plans in your journal an i look forward to hearing how your day went pics would be nice to an after all the work pre wedding an on the day i'am sure some time alone with will will be just what the doctor ordered congratulations christine hope you have a great fun filled day

[sandy03]

Congratulations. I hope you are able to enjoy your last few days of preparation and have a WONDERFUL day Sunday and enjoy an amazing honeymoon. I'm looking forward to hearing all about everything! Love and Blessings to you both!!

[Kay]

Just want to say an early *Congratulations* and best wishes always!!

[FutureMrsWilson]

Christine! TOMORROW is your wedding day! I may not be able to get on between now and then - so I wanted to tell you CONGRATS! I hope you're day is beautiful and stress free!!

SO Excited for you!! (and to see the pictures ;) )

[gwenshack]

TOMORROW! :cool: TOMORROW! TOMORROW! TOMORROW! TOMORROW! TOMORROW! :bun:

[pinkbride]

WWWOOOHOOOO!!! sooo exciting xxxx

[Ninedays9]

Congrats and good luck tomorrow! :)

[Mrs.Goff]

You're getting married tomorrow! Congrats, I hope everything goes perfectly.

[sandy03]

Sending you lots of love and blessings for tomorrow and always! I hope everything goes well and your honeymoon is fantastic. I can't wait to hear all about everything!

[NOTKT]

Happy Wedding Day!

[MrsDM]

You are getting married tomorrow (well, today your time)!! WHOO HOO! I hope you have a perfect day and congrats!

[yam102284]

You're getting married TODAY! :D

Congratulations, and I hope everything goes smoothly. Enjoy your day!

[Thalia_themuse]

Not entirely sure what day it is over there, but hope your wedding is/was everything you hoped for!!!

:heart: You deserve only the best, so I hope you get it. I am raising my tea to you and Will and wishing you every happiness :cheers:

[SkippyNXC]

I hope everything went smoothly n was a fantastic day! Congrats ur now a Mrs.!

[ChristineLS]

Thank you everyone!

All your well wishing must have made it too me, since I had an amazing, wonderful day!

...Details to follow! :D :D :D :D

[Thalia_themuse]

Thank you everyone!

All your well wishing must have made it too me, since I had an amazing, wonderful day!

...Details to follow! :D :D :D :D

:whoohoo: Congrats Mrs!!!!!!! :happy:

[gwenshack]

Awww, yay! I'm glad you had a great day! :)

[yam102284]

Congrats! I'm glad you had a great day! I can't wait to read all about it and see the pictures! :)

[f77g4]

Glad to hear you had an amazing day!! Can't wait for details/pics!