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DanDanNoodleBowl
04-14-2009, 01:03 PM
MIL is already freaking out.
My MIL is very unstable. She is very mean and jealous too.
Here is the story:

We get home on Sunday. Easter. My parents invited us a week ago to my grandma's for dinner when we get back from our honeymooon. So we go there, eat, hang out a little, and head home to bed. We were exhausted after the honeymoon.

So she flipped out on us. She texts DH the next day and says " Glad to see you went to Dani's parents for Easter. You forget about your real family?" Sigh. It begins already.
Then she texts " Maybe Im not good enough. Maybe Ill never be good enough for you guys. She took you away and your ABANDONING your real family."\
WE have been back 1 day from our HONEYMOON!

Then we told her we would be coming over that day. It was agreed.
THEN she texts him " Dont bother coming over today. Im depressed. I need help. Im not ok."
By this point I was furious. Seriously. But trying to be calm for DH.

So then, sfter unintivitng us she texts us 4 hours later.
" So, when will you be here."
By this point since we were uninvitied we made plans with friends. We tell her that.
She calls Shane up SCREAMING and CRYING
"HOW DARE YOU GO OUT WITH FRIENDS. WHAT ABOUT ME!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CO ME OVER! EVER SINCE YOU GOT MARRIED YOU HAVE ABANDONED US! ( we have been married and on our honeymoon a week...) *SOB SOB* YOU NEVER HUNG OUT WITH FRIENDS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU ARE!!?? etc..etc.."
Then she has the nerve to Facebook email my mom telling her the sob story. How she needs to talk to us to see her, blah blah.

SHE UNINVITED US! Crazy lady


jdolfgskdlghviowrehngviore89 :snide:
ChristineLS
04-14-2009, 01:43 PM
She's going to be your mother in law for the rest of your life. Either your DH needs to nip this in the bud NOW, or else you'll have a recurring headache for a long time.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-14-2009, 01:46 PM
She's going to be your mother in law for the rest of your life. Either your DH needs to nip this in the bud NOW, or else you'll have a recurring headache for a long time.
Boy I know it :bbeek:
Its just so weird. She is really strange, im not used to someone like that.
And when we DO go there, she is always really mean and critisizing :snide:
Dani
04-14-2009, 05:34 PM
OMG, is she related to my SIL?
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-14-2009, 06:49 PM
OMG, is she related to my SIL?
Haha, sounds familiar?
Dani
04-14-2009, 06:58 PM
Haha, sounds familiar?
Too familiar. My SIL is just nuts. (talks about off the wall stuff ALL the time)
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-14-2009, 07:19 PM
Too familiar. My SIL is just nuts. (talks about off the wall stuff ALL the time)
Sounds like his mom.
I try my hardest to keep calm, but I would like to kick her, she is insane.
Like, literally. :snide:
HisDelightfulFaerie
04-14-2009, 07:31 PM
Nip it in the bud now or she will drive you crazy until the day she kicks the bucket.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 10:36 AM
Nip it in the bud now or she will drive you crazy until the day she kicks the bucket.
Thats a long time..she is only 36!

Im not sure how to do it though. If i do I know Ill be rude. Haha
HisDelightfulFaerie
04-15-2009, 11:22 AM
Thats a long time..she is only 36!

Im not sure how to do it though. If i do I know Ill be rude. Haha

I suggest you AND your husband sitting her down to present a united front. Basically make it explicitly clear that you are more than happy to make them for her but that she needs to understand that you have friends and other family that need your attention also, in addition to the fact that you two need to spend time together alone to allow your marriage to grow and flourish. Tell her this is the way it's going to be and while you'd love to have her in your life you need her to have some understanding.
savepaws
04-15-2009, 11:40 AM
That sucks. I am so thankful I'm not marrying into a crazy family. I really don't have the energy to put up with crazy family members for the rest of my life.

You guys definitely need to set some boundaries with her!
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 12:46 PM
Ill have to try that. But the problem is, and he would hate that I would say this, put im pretty sure he is terrified of his mom..
MrsDM
04-15-2009, 02:56 PM
Oh man. I was hoping for you it was just pre-wedding things that she was acting like this. Personally, whether this is wrong or not (I have a very low tolerance for mean/rude/crazy people), your her DIL now. You have every right to sit down with her (preferably with DH) and tell her how it is and for her to snap the heck out of it. If you piss her off, she appears to have a problem with you (from what I've gathered in previous posts), so is your relationship really going to change?

I don't know, IMHO - somebody needs to stand up to her and it needs to be now.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 02:58 PM
Thats exactly how I feel too. Im just afraid of making Shane mad if I say anything. Hell say I started a fight.
Also, I absoulutly hate the awkwardness that comes from conflict. How should I go about this?
MrsDM
04-15-2009, 03:08 PM
Thats exactly how I feel too. Im just afraid of making Shane mad if I say anything. Hell say I started a fight.
Also, I absoulutly hate the awkwardness that comes from conflict. How should I go about this?

I think you need to talk to him then and tell him that you want to talk to his mom about the way she has been acting. You want to do it with him, but if he doesn't feel comfortable, that is fine. Tell him you fear that she will come between your marriage and you don't want that and hope that he understands that you want peace in the family, or as much as possible.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 03:29 PM
Ill have to try that. He gets very sensitive and protective of his mom because he is the only guy. Its such a difficult situtaion. if I ever talk to her, its through text these days. Its gonna be awkward! Ha
MrsDM
04-15-2009, 03:33 PM
Ill have to try that. He gets very sensitive and protective of his mom because he is the only guy. Its such a difficult situtaion. if I ever talk to her, its through text these days. Its gonna be awkward! Ha

Well, however you handle it, I wish you the best of luck. Its a horrible situation to put any human through, much a less a newly married couple.
PGDesigns
04-15-2009, 03:47 PM
I agree. Something definitely needs to be said to your MIL! I understand Shane wanting to be a little protective of his mom, but it seems like she is going entirely too far with this mess. He needs to understand this. I feel it would be much better coming from him (or the two of you together, obviously) rather than just you.

Shane and his mom both need to understand the possible ramifications that could occur if his mom continues to act and treat you this way.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 03:48 PM
Thank you. It really does suck :(
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 03:49 PM
I agree. Something definitely needs to be said to your MIL! I understand Shane wanting to be a little protective of his mom, but it seems like she is going entirely too far with this mess. He needs to understand this. I feel it would be much better coming from him (or the two of you together, obviously) rather than just you.

Shane and his mom both need to understand the possible ramifications that could occur if his mom continues to act and treat you this way.
I know, when I try to talk to him he gets mad and says I am bad mouting his mo ( to be honest, I dont say it in the nicest way). I do have to try to get him on board to talk to his mom. If he doesnt, I know one day I will, and it wont be pretty:snide:
ChristineLS
04-15-2009, 05:32 PM
I know, when I try to talk to him he gets mad and says I am bad mouting his mo ( to be honest, I dont say it in the nicest way).

Tell him in a mature manner why his mother treating you like this is problematic for your relationship.

I know of one couple where the MIL was critical FOR YEARS until the husband firmly told his mother (seemingly out of the blue) "She is my wife, the mother of my children, and I support her." The change was nearly overnight.
Qtpie
04-15-2009, 05:50 PM
I'm sorry that you are having these problems, I dont have any advice but hope things will get better for you both very soon.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 06:01 PM
Thank you.
I do want to say something to her, and I talked to my mom about it and she said I probably shouldnt it would cause too many problems.
But I might just do it anyway. DH already said he doesnt want to because he doesnt want problems either


So, if thats the case, ill just expode on her one day :innocent:
ChristineLS
04-15-2009, 06:46 PM
DH already said he doesnt want to because he doesnt want problems either

I think your first problem is that your husband does not think this is a problem, or that he thinks that this is a situation worth living with while you do not.
DanDanNoodleBowl
04-15-2009, 07:03 PM
I think your first problem is that your husband does not think this is a problem, or that he thinks that this is a situation worth living with while you do not.
He knows it is a problem. He always agrees with me when I say " your mom is crazy".
But, he doesnt want to start a fight. See, he has dealt with ts his whole life, he is used to it.
Im not.

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