I didn't do a pre-wedding journal, but...

[gwenshack]

I think maybe a post-wedding journal might be fun to do. I'm not really sure what I'll talk about or how often I'll update it, but it might be a bizarre read once in a while for those of you bored enough to open the link. :)

Yesterday was our 3 week anniversary! Ha. We celebrated by agreeing that it felt like it was a million years ago. I'm almost out the door to go back to Vegas again (well, about 3 weeks away), something I'm really looking forward to, so with the anticipation of the UPCOMING trip the one that I just barely got back from seems like a distant memory! Yes, I go too much - I'm more than aware...:) I have a good excuse though. I love going by myself. DH has finals the week I'm going and he enjoys some good old fashioned peace and quiet and nearly asked me to go. NO PROBLEM. I'm out. See you in a week.
It'll be good though, since I'm going to go to San Fran first. My MOH hasn't popped yet, but that kid is going to come any minute. So 3 weeks from now she'll definitely be a mommy and will probably be really greatful for an extra set of hands by that point. It'll be weird though - surreal - to see my best friend who I've known since my first day of college, a time marked by drinking and stupidity and boy chasing and a lack of responsibility, be somebody's MOM. Yeah, I know people do it all the time, but I think the fact that I'm not THERE - in that place where I feel capable or competent to be somebody's mom, not to mention my lack of interest in that subject - and to have my best friend take a leap into that level of responsibility and "grown uppedness" just seems crazy to me. She's ready for it though. She's had some hard times and it's nice to see her land on her feet in a place that she wants to be. This marriage is actually her second - her first husband died when we were 27 - he had cancer and it was terminal by the time the doctors realized what was making his stomach hurt. They had been married a couple of years and were talking about kids at that point, so that tragedy - he died so quickly - could have been the end of that dream for her. She could have rolled up in a ball and stayed in bed for a year. But she proved resilient and went to counseling and really worked through her grief and when she was ready for love again it was there, and her new husband is AWESOME. They met on the same internet site that DH and I met on, and he was the first guy she talked to on there too. It was like - BAM - nice guy, he moves in, they get married and now she's pregnant. They moved so fast. She was still with her first husband when I met DH - we're slow movers, what can I say. She and her new husband married a year before we did, also in Las Vegas. So we pretty much share an anniversary and a city, and for the rest of our lives we can always use that as an excuse to go back there every March. :)
Anyway, so, yes, SF first - see the kid - and then head out to Vegas. Everything is so cheap right now because of the poor economy, and with DH wanting me out of the house, I was more than willing to oblige. I think a lot of people think it's weird that we're so willing to spend significant amounts of time apart - happily and voluntarily - but I think it's healthy. I really do believe that separation really does make the heart grow fonder. :) And one of my fears about getting married was the idea of losing my independence. I've always been somebody to do my own thing however and whenever I wanted, and the idea of being chained to somebody who would then try to tell me what to do was a horrifying concept for me. Especially since that's how my parents ruled the roost - my father told my mother what to do and there were no if's and's or but's. I grasped my freedom and independence once and I was not looking to lose it again, especially to another man. So it's actually a sigh of relief for me to hear DH say GO!
I think that's a good sign of trust - that we trust each other to do our own thing without hesitation.

Ok, enough of my ramblings for now. I'm sure there will be more to come. :)

[f77g4]

I look forward to reading your post-wedding journal! :)

[gwenshack]

So today I finally decided to deal with the pile. You know, after all the planning and organizing and chaos that goes into a wedding, I just didn't want to deal with the aftermath. Hence, the pile. 45 disposable cameras that needed to be developed, wedding attire in a pile in the kitchen waiting to be dry cleaned (yeah, I said it - rolled up in a ball and all), pro photos yet to be ordered, taxes yet to be filed...you get the idea.

So this morning was a mad rush to try to get things done. I wanted to see my kitchen counter again. And, with a massive amount of scurrying and driving to and fro, I have space to use a cutting board again.

What did DH do this morning? Play World of Warcraft. Eh, it's not his fault. He's not a detail guy. I did get him to look over the photos last night - finally - to get his opinion on which ones should be enlarged. We picked some really great ones though and I'm super excited.

It's funny, because ever since he lost his job back in November, he suddenly seems to realize the amount of stuff I DO, in addition to my job. I think he thought I had a little genie that came in here and she twitched her nose and the laundry was suddenly done and all those little food items in the refrigerator, that he enjoys so much, suddenly just appeared. Yes, he still has a lot he has to do - law school plus Trial Advocacy Honors Board adds up to a lot, but he does suddenly seem to appreciate the fact that somebody - um, me - has to clean up the toothpaste when you accidentally squeeze it out on the counter and then it dries and gets crusty and then somebody has to come along and scrape it off. I guess when you have to WATCH your loved one do it suddenly you have a crisis of conscience. :) He has made effort to clean up after himself just a tad more lately.

I don't actually complain about the cleaning. I'd rather do it myself then have it not done at all. That was how he ran his life until he moved in here. Dirty dishes didn't get washed - they got hidden in the oven when company came over. No joke. I've always been a little compulsive about cleaning, almost enjoy doing it - almost, and there's no way, even if he wasn't a slob, that he could live up to my standards. So if you want something done right, you do it yourself. And I'm cool with it. I'm sometimes not cool with the crusted toothpaste, but I live with it. :)

So here's an interesting "after the wedding" note - I can't say husband. I was barely used to fiance! So now I'll say "my boyfrie...fian...husband" because I forget constantly that we're married. It'll be even worse when I get around to - if I get around to - changing my name. People will think I'm an identity theif who's really bad at her con job.

More to come - Happy Monday! :)

[f77g4]

I'm a piles person too and I hate how everything ends up in the kitchen. For us it's the island in the kitchen as well as the kitchen table we never use...lol

But FH probably does more cleaning then me - he gets 4 days off a week compared to my 2 since he works 4 12 hour days and then he gets 4 days off...So thats just how it's lined up.

So yay for getting piles cleaned up...lol

And for DH realizing how much you do.

[gwenshack]

I'm a piles person too and I hate how everything ends up in the kitchen. For us it's the island in the kitchen as well as the kitchen table we never use...lol

But FH probably does more cleaning then me - he gets 4 days off a week compared to my 2 since he works 4 12 hour days and then he gets 4 days off...So thats just how it's lined up.

So yay for getting piles cleaned up...lol

And for DH realizing how much you do.

Yeah, what is it about the kitchen? It's just like the dumping grounds! We don't use our kitchen table either! I use it to put the laundry on when I fold it! We typically eat wherever we stop - at the desk, in the bed!, in front of the tv. We bought that table and have used it maybe 3 times!

[Docsgirl]

Just saw this. And I think my DH thinks we have a cleaning fairy as well......still waiting for his conscience crisis...HA! :bbrazz:

Yay for reclaiming your kitchen! :D

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

What did DH do this morning? Play World of Warcraft.

MY husband does that every day :(
**** WOW

[gwenshack]

MY husband does that every day :(
**** WOW

Welcome back! How was the wedding?

[DanDanNoodleBowl]

Welcome back! How was the wedding?
Thank you! It went really well! Ecept for being so nervous everyone thought I was gonna pass out!

[Mrs.Goff]

So here's an interesting "after the wedding" note - I can't say husband. I was barely used to fiance!

HaHa, I'm having trouble switching too. I don't remember who I was talking to but I was on the phone yesterday, when I said "My fiance and I ...." DH was like "Your what?" So like a dummy I repeated it. He corrected me and I felt a little silly. :ooh:

BTW, I have a ever shrinking pile in my dinning room/ kitchen. DH and I were talking about the fact that everything gets dumped in the kitchen. Strange to hear that we aren't the only ones.

Last but not least, I hate, hate, hate the crusted toothpaste! lol

[gwenshack]

So one of the things that has become awkward is the relationship between DH and his mother. Well, the relationship between them hasn't BECOME awkward, it just is, and now I'm sort of in the middle of it...sort of.

I talk to my mom every day - sometimes I don't so much want to - but it happens. My grandfather and I e-mail every night, telling each other what we did during the day. My siblings and I talk semi regularly - not like every day, but enough that we're at least semi aware of day-to-day operations, if for no other reason that my mother has a regular phone rotation she does each day, calling all four of us, to find out what's going on. So she spreads the word of what everyone is doing. There is a LOT of communication in my family. For better or for worse, it is what it is.

In DH's family...um...not so much. He'll go weeks without talking to anyone in his family. I don't know what happened - or if it's always been that way - but they don't seem to know him very well. But they do know that if you call him he won't answer the phone. If you e-mail him you have a higher rate of response, but it's still minimal. He feels like ways to contact him are a priviledge, not a right, and he has every right to ignore questions for weeks at a time. I don't get it, but that's how it works.

So we're planning to go to Texas for his niece's college graduation this May. I've never been to Texas before so I'm all yeehaw about it, despite the fact that it's a family event, and his nieces are really sweet girls. His mother bought herself a plane ticket to go down there and then sends ME an e-mail telling me that we should book our flights around the same time as hers. Of course she didn't send me her flight information - she has some sort of disconnect between what makes sense and what doesn't - but she did send me the other details, dumping upon me the responsibility of either relaying the info to DH or dealing with it myself. She should have at least TRIED TO contact him first.

Which leads to this - does she really think it's ok to make me the go between between herself and her son? If we were going back east for something having to do with my family there would never be a day when my mom would send DH an e-mail saying "Hey, are you and Gwen coming out for Jeff's graduation?" - she'd send it to me. And if my mom did go over my head, whether I communicated with her on a daily basis or not, I would be really hurt that she didn't talk to me first.

So when the e-mail comes in from her I was a little dumbfounded. I told DH and his response was basically WTF, so we conspired and wrote his mother back an e-mail "from me" saying that DH was in charge of this trip because it was his family and that she should e-mail him her flight information.

That seems to have nipped it in the bud. I guess. Save for the fact that she never e-mailed him her flight information. The thing is - this is a small thing - travel plans. But what if it's something bigger, something with weight and importance. I don't want her to think I'm going to do her dirty work in the future. I think that the communication issues between them need to be resolved through them, not through me! I'm not the biggest fan of MIL so I don't want her to think that I'm going to be willing to work on her behalf.

I think marriages today, in a lot of ways, don't resemble the marriages our parents had (fortunately), and that makes them (the parents) uncomfortable. MIL expects me to take over all the planning and things just because I now have the title of wife. And my mother thinks that DH should report his every move to me because we're married now. It's weird, because my mom is so concerned with what DH did at his bachelor party - because she doesn't know what it was! The day of the wedding she kept trying to coax me into calling DH to find out where he was, what he was doing, and what he had done the night before. I refused - he'll show up, he needs time to do what he needs to do - I'm not going to call him and bother him. She and my sister were getting irritated with me, literally almost angry, because I refused to call him. The plan was for him to text me when he got on site and then I'd send my brother down with the ring he was to give me and he'd give my brother his suitcases to bring up to the room. That's the plan and that's what happened. There was no plan of bothering the other beforehand, but because that's what my mom would do, she couldn't fathom why I wouldn't. I seriously think she wanted to make sure he hadn't run off with some stripper from the night before. I knew he'd be there, without a doubt, so I didn't really care what he was doing.

And that goes double for the bachelor party. That was his time to cut loose. He's never done anything to make me not trust him, and I knew he would never do anything to hurt me, so I can only assume that there was a lot of liquor and strippers. I know there was some of both, only because he mentioned, but I didn't ask and I don't care. But every other day since the wedding, my mother has asked "Did you ever find out what happened that night?" No. I don't care - he showed up to the ceremony. "Well, IF I WAS YOU I'd ask for an accounting of that night's activities."

Here's the thing. I'm not you. I love you, but I'm not you. You've had some control issues in your marriages and you've had some trust issues. I cannot let your distrust for men spill into my relationship. If I was you. I hear that phrase constantly.

And the other thing - I don't want to have to report my every movement to DH. I like a little freedom and privacy, and our relationship works in part because we trust each other to not care what the other is doing when we're not around. My best friend can't handle it either, and I respect that she needs her husband to constantly check in and tell her what he's doing and when exactly he'll be home and that he had tunafish for lunch, but I just don't need to know. My best friend respects that I view my relationship differently - my mother, not at all. Drives her nuts.

So, mothers. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Love them or not, they're trying to impart their wisdom I guess. Trying to make sure their words are heard - one way or another, even if it's by sending e-mails through the wife.

[gwenshack]

So...there was some interesting drama today, but we'll get to that tomorrow.

Let's focus on something way more entertaining - 45 disposable cameras scattered among 51 people at my wedding were ready for pick up today. Needless to say, getting that film developed was a costly endeavor - I'm now $531 poorer than I was this morning, but I think the entertainment value of going through 800+ photos might possibly be worth it. It's taken hours to sort through the bunch and I've learned a few things about drunk people with disposable cameras at a wedding. First of all, a lot of people don't realize the distance limitations on disposable cameras - they were taking shots of people across the room - that turned out competely dark - but the edge of the table they were sitting at was clear and brilliant as day. Secondly, a lot of people see humor in taking pictures of people taking pictures of other people. You have NO idea how many pictures I have of a person with a camera covering their eyes. Third, and probably most interesting, people stick their tongues out a lot the drunker they are. Curious. My sister and her boyfriend win the award for best comedic use of props - there are pictures of them with the chocolate poker chips over their eyes and with cake all over their faces. Two thumbs up. I appreciate and encourage creativity. I also got to see some interesting things that apparently happened that I either don't remember or was not aware happened. It was like reliving the experience through the drunk eyes of others. Who could ask for anything more?

All in all, I'd say we got a good batch of pictures. I was never kidding myself into thinking we were going to have 800+ GREAT pictures. My hope was for at least 3 or 4 good ones on each roll, hopefully a few good ones of each person in attendance, and enough to go around that I could send some to each person. And all those goals were met. :) Are there a bunch of total garbage photos? You betcha. But I'm rather satisfied with the results and I definitely got a few laughs out of it.

[Mrs.Goff]

LoL, they sound great. Glad you got what you wanted.

I on the other hand am still searching for 3 of the 4 cameras I had. Only one person owed up to taking the camera home and has since given it back. I guess the others plan to keep them for themselves.:irked:

So do we get to see any of these pictures? Hmm? lol

[gwenshack]

LoL, they sound great. Glad you got what you wanted.

I on the other hand am still searching for 3 of the 4 cameras I had. Only one person owed up to taking the camera home and has since given it back. I guess the others plan to keep them for themselves.:irked:

So do we get to see any of these pictures? Hmm? lol

Oh, how annoying! We had 50 to start with and we collected 49 of them back, but a few of them hadn't been used. As for that elusive 50th camera? Who knows? :) I think our rate of return was so high because DH's mother and sister were like the camera police - well, first they were the camera thieves - they lifted them off the tables and used them up - and then they were the camera police and put them in the collection box. Hopefully you'll find those missing cameras!

As for these pictures, I'm going to have to dig that scanner out and see what I can do. :) I spent most of the evening weeding through the photos and I can tell you that some of them are hilarious. The ones of us in Denny's at 4 in the morning come to mind...

I forgot to mention the other big news of the day! My MOH and best friend had her first baby! Healthy 8 pound 4 oz girl! They named her Colette, which I totally didn't get at first, until her mother pointed out to me that my friend's maiden name was Cole...hence...Cole-ette. Ah, she's so clever. Fortunately, I feel a lot less dumb for not getting the gag since her mom didn't pick up on it either! Her mom was ecstatic though - she called me this afternoon all giddy because she needed SOMEBODY to talk to! But both baby and mom are fine. Apparently the contractions that she had all day yesterday (but weren't consistent) were for real and around 4 am they headed off to the hospital. They sent me a text at 4:45 AM telling me that they were there and it looked like they were staying. Of course I was dead asleep so had no idea it was going on. And, yes, she had the often requested drugs. :)

[Mrs.Goff]

I read about the new baby on the other post. So exciting! I'm really glad that mom and baby are healthy.

My MOH is due June 20th, it's a boy.:D Her third, but he's still special. ;)

[gwenshack]

So today is one of my least productive days of the entire year. Today the NBA playoffs start, which essentially means I sit on my butt and watch basketball all day long. DH keeps coming in and saying "What's all this hootin' and hollering going on in here?"

He hates basketball. He's not participating in this day of laziness. Of course, last I checked, when I got up to make a sandwich, he was watching recorded cartoons from Adult Swim. So it's not like he's being any more productive with his day than I am...:)

There was some absolutely dumb drama that has unfolded over the past couple of days. My brother's girlfriend sent pictures to my grandfather of me from the night before my wedding, which is just a real invasion of privacy. No, I didn't have a stripper or anything raunchy - it was just me hanging out with my friends. But there was something in the pictures I didn't want my grandfather to see (it's stupid, trust me), and she used absolutely no common sense and didn't use any kind of screening process before sending pictures to my GRANDFATHER. First of all, I was sort of under the assumption that what happens in Vegas the night before you get married STAYS in Vegas the night before you get married - tame or not, it wasn't supposed to go out on the AP wire to my grandfather. My brother was freaking furious with her when he found out, and he unleashed his temper that I hate - but in this case sort of support - and she's apparently really sorry, but I think the problem is bigger than the pictures.

This girl is the biggest kiss @ss ever. There's a line you don't cross, in my opinion at least, with in-law families. You don't spill secrets, which she does all the time. My brother tells her stuff and then she goes shopping with my mom or something (they're like BFFs now or something) and then she'll REPEAT what my brother said to my mom. Which I think is totally messed up. And it's setting bad precedent for my DH. You know, DH isn't very social. He's not somebody who's going to kiss your @ss, have small talk, and pretend to care about stuff he doesn't. He's nice to my mom, civil and friendly, but he's not trying to have any kind of close relationship with her - like a one on one relationship - he has nothing to do with my mom if I'm not in the room. And vice versa. I don't have a separate thing going with his mom. Anything he wants communicated to his mom, HE has to tell her, and he would never go behind my back and tell my mom something either. But this girl does it all the time. So often my mom will tell me something about them or my brother or their relationship and I'll ask if my brother told her that and she'll say that the girl did. But because of this awkward relationship, my mom thinks that DH doesn't like her. No, he just doesn't want you to be his friend - he wants you to be his MIL.

So anyway, brother is mad at GF and I'm mad too. DH said I should make sure to take lots of pictures the night before SHE gets married and then send them to her in an e-mail with the subject line "What I would never send to your parents and grandparents".

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to justify my actions the night before I got married to my GRANDFATHER - even though it's none of his business and he shouldn't have been privy to the information in the first place.

So I'm just bloody annoyed. It's seriously the dumbest drama ever, and it's been going on for three days. Three days of this. I was so annoyed last night I didn't even feel like going out. DH and I stayed home and ate pretzels and watched The Jerk, which is by far one of my favorite movies ever. :)

Anyway, back to the NBA. Happy playoffs! :)

[f77g4]

Man - what a way to cross the line. Sorry you're dealing with that. I can't believe she did that. Hope you can get things worked out!

Enjoy the playoffs!

[gwenshack]

Man - what a way to cross the line. Sorry you're dealing with that. I can't believe she did that. Hope you can get things worked out!

Enjoy the playoffs!

Thanks Ashley...:)

I'm still sitting in the same spot I've been sitting in all day. I'm on my fourth game of the day and I think my butt is burning a hole into my bed. Ha. I think I'm going to skip the end of this game (at some point) and go see if DH wants to go out and do something.

There are four more games tomorrow. :chimp:

[amisteratwisterandme]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Sounds to me that she gets her self worth from being the eyes and ears for you mom. I can't think of anything that would tick me off worse than someone showing my grandparents something that would perhaps change how they viewed me. Eventually it will come back to bite her in the butt, and when that day comes, maybe you will feel a bit justified.

[gwenshack]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Sounds to me that she gets her self worth from being the eyes and ears for you mom. I can't think of anything that would tick me off worse than someone showing my grandparents something that would perhaps change how they viewed me. Eventually it will come back to bite her in the butt, and when that day comes, maybe you will feel a bit justified.

I would love a good butt biting in this case. :) Thanks...:)

I actually just got an e-mail back from my grandfather...I had sent him one earlier, in response to his questions in regard to the picture, saying that what he saw was one of those "What happens in Vegas the night before you get married STAYS in Vegas the night before you get married" and that it was a good thing I didn't get a stripper because I would have hated for that to get around...

So, in turn, he responded with good humor, saying that we all had our moments, or something along those lines. So my grandfather, fortunately, took it in stride and realized it was all in good fun and didn't take too much issue with it. :innocent:

But still, she shouldn't have done it. She hasn't been around that long and SHE didn't know it would all work out in the end.

I think, the basic rule of thumb in life, is that you don't do things to other people that you wouldn't want them to do to you. She would have, most likely, expected more from me if the roles were reversed. And, I, in turn (as someone with common sense) would have lived up those expectations.

Hope everyone has a great night! :)

[amisteratwisterandme]

I'm glad grandpa took it all in stride!

[gwenshack]

I'm glad grandpa took it all in stride!

Me too! Phew...! :bbredface:

So I spent most of the day, again, watching the playoffs. I really think this is my favorite weekend of the year. I'm usually not so lazy, but this is just awesome. I get up to eat and pee. Ha. Yes, the playoffs go on for 40 days, but there's something about that first weekend, when there are 8 games over the course of the 2 days, when anything can happen and every team that qualified plays. After this weekend they have one or two games a day - it's not as much of a time commitment, and the outcomes are slowly shaping up. And as the playoffs continue and teams get eliminated there are less and less games until we've whittled down the field to just the final 2 teams.

But this weekend is great - so much hope and promise. And who doesn't love just being a great big lump of laziness once in a while? I love how I feel like I could nap right now and I've done NOTHING - zero. :)

I did speak to my best friend. She and the baby got to come home yesterday. She swears her kid is cute and that she's not biased. Yeah, right. :) I'll meet my faux-niece in less than 2 weeks, so that'll be cool. And exhausting. My friend claims that the whole labor and delivery thing wasn't that bad, but I'm not sure I buy that. :winktongue:

My friend was in a pretty excellent mood though, seeing as she's gotten a total of like 8 hours of sleep over the past four days. She seemed to be seeing the humor in the dirty diapers, but maybe she's just slap happy. :)

[Danielle9608]

So today is one of my least productive days of the entire year. Today the NBA playoffs start, which essentially means I sit on my butt and watch basketball all day long. DH keeps coming in and saying "What's all this hootin' and hollering going on in here?"

He hates basketball. He's not participating in this day of laziness. Of course, last I checked, when I got up to make a sandwich, he was watching recorded cartoons from Adult Swim. So it's not like he's being any more productive with his day than I am...:)

There was some absolutely dumb drama that has unfolded over the past couple of days. My brother's girlfriend sent pictures to my grandfather of me from the night before my wedding, which is just a real invasion of privacy. No, I didn't have a stripper or anything raunchy - it was just me hanging out with my friends. But there was something in the pictures I didn't want my grandfather to see (it's stupid, trust me), and she used absolutely no common sense and didn't use any kind of screening process before sending pictures to my GRANDFATHER. First of all, I was sort of under the assumption that what happens in Vegas the night before you get married STAYS in Vegas the night before you get married - tame or not, it wasn't supposed to go out on the AP wire to my grandfather. My brother was freaking furious with her when he found out, and he unleashed his temper that I hate - but in this case sort of support - and she's apparently really sorry, but I think the problem is bigger than the pictures.

This girl is the biggest kiss @ss ever. There's a line you don't cross, in my opinion at least, with in-law families. You don't spill secrets, which she does all the time. My brother tells her stuff and then she goes shopping with my mom or something (they're like BFFs now or something) and then she'll REPEAT what my brother said to my mom. Which I think is totally messed up. And it's setting bad precedent for my DH. You know, DH isn't very social. He's not somebody who's going to kiss your @ss, have small talk, and pretend to care about stuff he doesn't. He's nice to my mom, civil and friendly, but he's not trying to have any kind of close relationship with her - like a one on one relationship - he has nothing to do with my mom if I'm not in the room. And vice versa. I don't have a separate thing going with his mom. Anything he wants communicated to his mom, HE has to tell her, and he would never go behind my back and tell my mom something either. But this girl does it all the time. So often my mom will tell me something about them or my brother or their relationship and I'll ask if my brother told her that and she'll say that the girl did. But because of this awkward relationship, my mom thinks that DH doesn't like her. No, he just doesn't want you to be his friend - he wants you to be his MIL.

So anyway, brother is mad at GF and I'm mad too. DH said I should make sure to take lots of pictures the night before SHE gets married and then send them to her in an e-mail with the subject line "What I would never send to your parents and grandparents".

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to justify my actions the night before I got married to my GRANDFATHER - even though it's none of his business and he shouldn't have been privy to the information in the first place.

So I'm just bloody annoyed. It's seriously the dumbest drama ever, and it's been going on for three days. Three days of this. I was so annoyed last night I didn't even feel like going out. DH and I stayed home and ate pretzels and watched The Jerk, which is by far one of my favorite movies ever. :)

Anyway, back to the NBA. Happy playoffs! :)
WOW! I am speechless. I am so sorry!

[gwenshack]

So as finals approach, DH's that is, the touchier he gets. I'm really glad I'm bailing out the weekend before because he's been a real little b**ch lately. I say that with love. Ha. :)

I know he's stressed and I'm forgiving and let it slide, but there have been a couple of times the past few days when I want to throw something at him because when he's stressed or POed he holes up in his office, coming out to get food or beverage, and he just STAYS in there. Sometimes he doesn't even come to bed. It's like I'm not here. And when he does emerge I'll ask something like "How's it going?" and he'll basically grunt at me.

He's not usually like this, only really around finals time, so I've seen this before and I'm again willing to overlook it. But if he was like this all the time I'd throw him out on the curb!

[ChristineLS]

So as finals approach, DH's that is, the touchier he gets. I'm really glad I'm bailing out the weekend before because he's been a real little b**ch lately. I say that with love. Ha. :)

I know he's stressed and I'm forgiving and let it slide, but there have been a couple of times the past few days when I want to throw something at him because when he's stressed or POed he holes up in his office, coming out to get food or beverage, and he just STAYS in there. Sometimes he doesn't even come to bed. It's like I'm not here. And when he does emerge I'll ask something like "How's it going?" and he'll basically grunt at me.

He's not usually like this, only really around finals time, so I've seen this before and I'm again willing to overlook it. But if he was like this all the time I'd throw him out on the curb!

Your husband and my fiance! Thank goodness the entire academic year isn't like this! Or they'd have curbside company ;)

[amisteratwisterandme]

I don't know what my problem is, but when fh is in a bad mood it automatically lights a switch in me to be in a bad mood. Of course, I fight the urge, but I get ya with wanting to throw something at him.

:icon_barbar:

[gwenshack]

I don't know what my problem is, but when fh is in a bad mood it automatically lights a switch in me to be in a bad mood. Of course, I fight the urge, but I get ya with wanting to throw something at him.

:icon_barbar:


I think that's normal - because that's certainly how I was feeling when I made that post. I think moods are contagious!

[amisteratwisterandme]

Funny thing is, I even ask myself what I am mad about and never have an answer! But I don't take it out on fh (Mostly)

[gwenshack]

May is going to be a really hectic month. There's bad hectic and there's good hectic, but I really think this is a combo of both. May 2nd I'm going up to SF to visit my MOH and my brand new faux-niece, which should be a completely insane experience. On the 5th I leave there and go back to Vegas. The 11th brings me back home and then the 13th DH and I go to Texas for his niece's graduation.

We made those Texas plans yesterday - we're going to Austin, which is pretty cool. I've never been to Texas before, but I've always heard good things about Austin - a lot of people I've known in D.C. have moved there because it has a very similar vibe and music scene. So I'm curious to check that out. We're spending 2 nights in a historic hotel in the 6th street area, since that's supposed to be THE PLACE to be, and we're taking a road trip to San Antonio (since I've always wanted to go there) and then we'll spend 2 nights at his sister's house. That'll be a fulllllllll house - his sis and her husband, their two 20-something daughters, MIL, the two of us, and a partridge in a pear tree. Yippee. Apparently they have all sorts of activities planned, so at least it won't be the mindless sitting that is involved with visiting MIL in Iowa. It's exhausting doing nothing all day, so I'm usually pretty tired when we visit there. Last time I went out in the mid-July humidity and heat to take a walk so I could get out of the blasting air conditioning and monotony.

So, yeah, May is going to be a busy month.

The other thing going on is that I'm really conflicted about this weekend's plans. DH's groomsman invited us down to the beach near their place (basically 2 and a half hours away) for his birthday. I'd be ok going, but DH and I have agreed to not socialize with the OTHER groosman (who I have referred to a few times on OW as PIG BUTT - Pain In Gwen's Butt) since the wedding. If you read my summary of the wedding, you will recall that this guy (who is 32) tried to compete for the attention of DH's nieces (who are 20 and 22) against my brother and his friend (both 22). DH specifically told PIG BUTT to not hit on his nieces, not say anything offensive or derogatory, and to generally behave himself. Sad he needed to be told, but he has a history of bad behavior. Basically, PIG BUTT didn't like that my brother and his friend were vying for the attention of the forbidden fruit that is these young ladies (and they had DH's blessing to try to befriend the girls) and he called them F*gs.

WAY over the line. In addition to insulting my brother, his friend, putting DH's nieces in an awkward spot, he also insulted me and DH, our families, and our friends all with one word. There were many gay people in the room and DH had warned PIG BUTT that his haphazard use of the word gay and the "f" word were inappropriate and that they wouldn't be tolerated at our wedding. We wanted to make sure that our gay friends felt welcomed and appreciated AS IS - no judgment or criticism - dance and have a good time - this is a safe place. So basically with one word we felt like he offended the entire room, even though very few people heard it. He was asked to leave and we haven't seen him since.

Since the wedding DH and I decided that PIG BUTT is in exile - we're not going to see him. He must be punished. This isn't the first time we've put him in exile either. Before the wedding in March I hadn't seen him since the previous February - 13 months. The wedding was supposed to be the truce. He failed miserably.

So I feel like if I don't go down to this birthday thing it'll cause drama with the other groomsman and his wife, who already have beef with me and whine to DH, saying that I don't like them, blah blah blah. Truly, I don't like them, but I've always been nice to them. I just don't go out of my way. I did in the beginning, but they were so cool and unfriendly to me the first few times I met them that I felt completely shot down and decided that it wasn't worth it to try to be over friendly and witty if it wasn't going to be received. Couple that with the instant connection I saw them make with PIG BUTT's ex (who was using him for money because she needed somebody to take care of her kid after the father threw her out - they've since broken up since she left him the moment he lost his job - coincidence I think not...) that I pretty much realized that I wasn't going to be good friends with these people. We typically only see them a couple times a year, so I deal and I'm nice to them, but they're just not my favorite people. But anyway, if I don't go to the birthday thing because I don't want to deal with PIG BUTT, then they'll just have more fodder to whine about. But if I go then I'll have to deal with PIG BUTT and it's still way too soon after the fact, and, frankly, I'm not somebody who holds back and pretends. If I think something I'm going to say it. I don't fake nice. I'm a nice person, and I try to be nice to everybody, but if you've done something messed up I'm going to let you know it. I excommunicate people when I hit a certain point because I don't put up with garbage. I would have excommunicated PIG BUTT loooong ago, but I feel like it's not my call because he was (is?) DH's friend and I feel that the final nail in his coffin should come from DH, not me. I know that DH has contemplated telling him where to stick it on a number of occasions, but DH is just too nice. He wants to give people the benefit of the doubt, that one more chance. PIG BUTT has gotten sooo many last chances.

I've always been somebody who would rather have one real friend - or, heck - even NO friends over a bunch of bad friends.

Enough rambling...:)

[gwenshack]

So I didn't go. I decided that time and place considerations left me uncomfortable, since I wouldn't want to go off on PIG BUTT during somebody's birthday celebration. DH went on ahead without me, completely understanding where I was coming from, and said that he didn't want to go either but felt obligated to. He said that PIG BUTT would be informed that DH was putting aside his feelings about the situation to be civil with him during the other guy's birthday but being in the same room changes nothing.

I like the fact that DH and I can make individual choices. I like that he knows I won't get mad at him for going and I know he won't get mad at me for choosing not to. I like the fact that we can have a united front anyway. That's a nice feeling.

In other news, I'm getting giddy about my trip. I can't wait to get out of here! Not that every day life isn't awesome - I certainly don't have anything to complain about - but I'm excited to see my friend and the baby. And I'm certainly excited about my days alone in Vegas. I know, I know - I was just there! But I was seeing to everyone else's needs nearly every moment and it'll be nice to just hang out alone and enjoy the city. Oh, and I made a spa appointment! I have this big plan to go to the pool in the morning and then go have a massage - a day of relaxation! :) Yay!

[f77g4]

I'd be excited for your trip too!

Have a fun and safe trip!

[gwenshack]

So I spent the whole day at home alone, when I could have hung out with DH all day...PIG BUTT didn't show up to the beach party! He told the birthday boy he'd be there and then didn't show up, didn't call, nothing. So I COULD have been there. Geez Louise.

DH said the birthday boy understood why I chose not to come though...so...whatever. I read the paper cover to cover instead. And, besides, it was coldish out today and the beach wouldn't have been too fun anyway. :)

[Danielle9608]

I hope you have fun on your trip. And don't feel guilty for wanting some alone time. Jon goes out once a week with the guys and I think its nice to have the house to myself and be able to change the channel when I want to ;) Plus, absence makes the heart grow founder.

[gwenshack]

Thanks guys! I can't wait to get the heck out of here.

Although before I go I'm really hoping I can find DH's wedding ring. He lost it. This comes as absolutely no surprise to me, seeing as he loses everything. I knew it would disappear sooner or later. He's always playing with it and he takes it off when he gets home. He's just not a jewelry person. He is, however, forgetful, and can't remember the last time he saw it!

He's really lucky because a lot of wives would freak the f%*$ out, but I just sort of laughed since I predicted this would happen. I didn't think it would happen so soon, but I sure as heck knew it wouldn't last the rest of our lives...!

Ah well. Stuff happens. :)

[Docsgirl]

Thanks guys! I can't wait to get the heck out of here.

Although before I go I'm really hoping I can find DH's wedding ring. He lost it. This comes as absolutely no surprise to me, seeing as he loses everything. I knew it would disappear sooner or later. He's always playing with it and he takes it off when he gets home. He's just not a jewelry person. He is, however, forgetful, and can't remember the last time he saw it!

He's really lucky because a lot of wives would freak the f%*$ out, but I just sort of laughed since I predicted this would happen. I didn't think it would happen so soon, but I sure as heck knew it wouldn't last the rest of our lives...!

Ah well. Stuff happens. :)

I'm waiting for the day that Miguel loses his! He always takes it off and plays with it, and it has be dropped many times....in cracks between the seat in the car, on the floor at random restaurants. I joke with him that I'm going to order 2 spare ones, just for when he loses his....and then loses it again. ;) Haha.

[Danielle9608]

Jon is the same way. I joke about getting him a tattoo ring that way he can't loose it.

[gwenshack]

Arggggh! I've got a time of the month headache - which means it's not really a pounder, more of a dull pressure that just sits there atop my head and makes me want to dive into the bathtub and live there until AF goes away. AF is one nasty little b!t&$ sometimes. You know, since I've been on the pill (which, at this point, seems to be forever) I certainly have a less horrid time of the month, but as a get older it does seem that AF is trying to decapitate me once a month. When I first started the pill it was like the best thing that ever happened to me - NO symptoms of anything. But the past couple of years, since I turned 30 I guess, there are little things that have started to happen again - cramping, this headache thing, bloating - oh the bloating! Monday, I swear to you, I was trying to figure out what the heck I've been eating because I felt so fat - then I realized what week it was. But, literally, even my arms were swollen up like sausages. Can't imagine a better feeling than that, can you? :)
Fortunately, today, with the arrival of the dear old auntie, the bloating has subsided and my jeans fit again, but this stupid headache sucks. Just sucks. It's funny, because I'm not a headache person. I rarely ever get them - only this time of the month - or after a really harsh night of drinking, but that goes without saying...

DH had his last night of classes for the semester yesterday - now he's on to studying for his exams. Really? One more year (plus summer school) of this? I don't know how he stays motivated. Here's a little secret for you - to survive in law school you have to REALLY want it. I did not want it. Oh, yeah, there you go - cat out of the bag - I went to law school. I did half of it actually, but I just did not want it. I went because I was smart and because I didn't know what else I wanted to do. Staying in school seemed like a good option. But then I got there, and although I did fine, everyone else around me had this click in their heels as they walked down the hall that sort of seemed to tap out "I must succede! I must succede!" with every step they took. My walk sort of said "Eh...I'll read this stuff but I don't really care..." So after half of it I just realized I was wasting money and time so I dropped out to persue a highly coveted career as a barrista at a coffeehouse my friend owns. Barrister to barrista. Trust me, it makes sense.

Honestly, it was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. I took the odd ball path, that I probably should have been on anyway, and enjoyed my 20's. I made random decisions and did the off the wall things. I dated guys whose main attraction was "I'm in a band" and I drank way too much beer. But it was the best time of my life. To hell with responsibility was pretty much my motto.

So how do we end up here? I have no idea. I swear to you the last thing I ever thought would happen would be me marrying a lawyer-to-be. I didn't even want to DATE a lawyer-to-be. And, it's funny, because I see him going through the same obstacle courses I had to dodge through and it's like reliving the experience over again - of course with way less reading on my part - and it's a happy reminder of all the things I could have been and am SO happy I'm not. I'm thrilled for DH that he has a drive and a passion for something - even if it is the career I tossed out the window - because he really WANTS it. I think that's what everybody needs in life - something they're passionate about. If you aren't happy where you are, you need to keep moving. :)

Anyway, sorry for my crazy tangent that went 800 directions!

[f77g4]

Arggggh! I've got a time of the month headache - which means it's not really a pounder, more of a dull pressure that just sits there atop my head and makes me want to dive into the bathtub and live there until AF goes away. AF is one nasty little b!t&$ sometimes. You know, since I've been on the pill (which, at this point, seems to be forever) I certainly have a less horrid time of the month, but as a get older it does seem that AF is trying to decapitate me once a month. When I first started the pill it was like the best thing that ever happened to me - NO symptoms of anything. But the past couple of years, since I turned 30 I guess, there are little things that have started to happen again - cramping, this headache thing, bloating - oh the bloating! Monday, I swear to you, I was trying to figure out what the heck I've been eating because I felt so fat - then I realized what week it was. But, literally, even my arms were swollen up like sausages. Can't imagine a better feeling than that, can you? :)
Fortunately, today, with the arrival of the dear old auntie, the bloating has subsided and my jeans fit again, but this stupid headache sucks. Just sucks. It's funny, because I'm not a headache person. I rarely ever get them - only this time of the month - or after a really harsh night of drinking, but that goes without saying...



I am the exact same way - I wonder if you can like become immune of the pill or something? Its strange to go from no symptoms to having them all again.

Feel better hun!

[gwenshack]

I am the exact same way - I wonder if you can like become immune of the pill or something? Its strange to go from no symptoms to having them all again.

Feel better hun!

I've wondered that too...

[f77g4]

I've wondered that too...

Which is really scary when you stop and think about it.

[gwenshack]

Which is really scary when you stop and think about it.

So long as it always performs it's, uh, primary function then I'll have no complaints...:winktongue:

[Docsgirl]

So long as it always performs it's, uh, primary function then I'll have no complaints...:winktongue:

Actually, my doc was just telling me earlier this year that your body can adjust to/get used to the hormone content, and some girls have to end up switching to a different kind. She was telling me this as I was asking her for the highest hormone content pill they had....which she obliged in giving me, since both my mom and sister have gotten preggie while on the pill.

[gwenshack]

Actually, my doc was just telling me earlier this year that your body can adjust to/get used to the hormone content, and some girls have to end up switching to a different kind. She was telling me this as I was asking her for the highest hormone content pill they had....which she obliged in giving me, since both my mom and sister have gotten preggie while on the pill.

Yeah, this is my 3rd brand - this latest one I started in January. Pregnant, nonetheless on the pill, is my worst nightmare! :bbeek:

[f77g4]

Yeah, this is my 3rd brand - this latest one I started in January. Pregnant, nonetheless on the pill, is my worst nightmare! :bbeek:

Mine too - I've been on the same one now for like 10 years maybe I should question my doc at my annual exam this summer to see about switching?

[gwenshack]

Mine too - I've been on the same one now for like 10 years maybe I should question my doc at my annual exam this summer to see about switching?

Seems like a reasonable idea. I'm sure if you were in any added jeopardy by being on the pill you're on your doctor would be on it. :)

[Docsgirl]

Yeah, this is my 3rd brand - this latest one I started in January. Pregnant, nonetheless on the pill, is my worst nightmare! :bbeek:

Yeah....since being fertile runs in the family, I wanted to make sure we aren't going to have any little surprises until we're ready for them....and so far the plan is like 7 years from now. Haha.

[gwenshack]

The garment bag for my dress, with the dress in it, is ginormous. It takes up an insane amount of space. During the months leading up to the wedding, it hung on the inside of the closet door, a huge obtrusion that prevented us from opening the door fully, but, at the time, it seemed like the only place to put it.

After the wedding, it lived in my car for weeks. It just hung out (okay, rolled around) the backseat, because I didn't know what to do with it! Finally I decided to take it up the street to the dry cleaner and have them preserve it all fancy in a box, like they do, but when she told me it costs $300 I was like, uh, nope. Just clean it. I mean, come on. $300 on something I'm never going to wear again unless I go as a bride for Halloween? So then it lived at the dry cleaners for about a week, since I didn't know what to do with it.

When I finally picked it up from the dry cleaners, about a week and a half ago, it went back to living in my car. The poor dress.

Well, it found it's final resting place today, and I'm certainly not happy about it, but it's living in our storage closet in the parking garage in our building. It's dark and it's cold, but that's where it's going to have to stay. There's no room for it up here among the living - there's barely room for the stuff we actually use!

Hopefully, if we ever get a house, I'll one day have a spare closet where it can rot in some place nicer! :)

[ChristineLS]

Actually, my doc was just telling me earlier this year that your body can adjust to/get used to the hormone content, and some girls have to end up switching to a different kind. She was telling me this as I was asking her for the highest hormone content pill they had....which she obliged in giving me, since both my mom and sister have gotten preggie while on the pill.

Seriously? :bbeek:

RE: Dress....

$300 seems crazy, but it also doesn't seem right to let your gorgeous dress rot.

Why does it cost so much? Do they put it in chemicals or do they fold it a certain way? I mean I suppose you can't DIY everything, but is this doable?

[gwenshack]

Seriously? :bbeek:

RE: Dress....

$300 seems crazy, but it also doesn't seem right to let your gorgeous dress rot.

Why does it cost so much? Do they put it in chemicals or do they fold it a certain way? I mean I suppose you can't DIY everything, but is this doable?

I think (hope) I was just being overdramatic about the whole rotting thing...:) I don't know what they do for $300! All I knew was that I wasn't going to pay it!! haha :)

[Docsgirl]

http://www.ehow.com/how_3971_preserve-wedding-dress.html

Apparently since it's already clean and free of stains, all you'd need is an acid free box and acid free tissue paper, and to store it in a dry place out of sunlight.....

[Danielle9608]

Yea it's totally insane how much it costs to preserve them. I been married for how many months now and haven't even gotten mine cleaned. Currently it lives in the spare bedroom closet, but when we have a baby its going to be evicted.

[gwenshack]

Ahhhhhh, it's so nice to be home.

I'm lying around on my bed, watching Desperate Housewives, and trying not to think about all the stuff I need to do tomorrow. Can we talk about the fact that the DIET needs to start tomorrow? I'm always amazed how quickly I can gain weight. Since the wedding it has been a nonstop train of good times and vacations and I need to get on the wagon big time. Otherwise I will soon be the woman who swallowed DH's wife. :)

Hey, guess what! While I was gone my wedding photos came, as did my ceremony DVD! I totally watched the ceremony today and it was so interesting to watch it and be able to see the crowd's reactions. It was also funny to see how I totally used my funny voice to get through my vows without crying. Ha.

Anyway, so glad to be back! :)

[gwenshack]

SOooooo. DH and I sort of had a little moment this morning - not really a fight, but more a conversation and I ended up crying profusely since I started the conversation and it went nowhere good.

Basically DH thought his summer school classes started yesterday, but ends up they don't start until Thursday. So we have 2 days where he doesn't have to be anywhere, which is completely and insanely weird. Usually he's constantly working on school stuff, so most of the time we are lucky if we spend 6 hours in a row together.

So he comes in to the bedroom this morning and announces that we need to go ride bikes. Well, I like the idea of spending time together, yes, but I've ridden a bike like 5 times in my life - I didn't learn when I was a kid - and it's still terrifying for me. Our neighborhood is full of hills and going down them is as scary to me as trying to pedal my way up. I'm constantly afraid of being hit by a car since I have a hard time stopping and a lot of times I try to put my foot down on the pavement and I can barely reach the ground so I end up sort of tilting over. It's scary!

For people who have been riding bikes forever, they don't think twice about it. But I was 30 years old the first time I rode a bike!

So I sort of got upset, sitting here in my room, thinking about how I always try to do what he wants to do and he never does any of the things I want to do. So I went in to where he was playing World of Warcraft (yet another thing we don't have in common) and said that I just wanted to get the bike thing over with - I didn't want to dread it all morning - let's just do it.

That didn't go over well. We ended up talking about all the things we don't have in common, which has been a common thread in our relationship, but usually ends up being ok since we're very independent and do things on our own. But on random days like today when we have to find an activity we'll both enjoy? Well, I typically end up compromising and doing something I really don't want to. And that can be frustrating. I try to be a good sport though, since he has such a minimal amount of free time usually, and I try to accomodate his wants.

Anyway, bottom line is that we had our first conflict in about 15 months and that was really sucky. We ended up going for a walk, since that was something we could do together, being outside, and doesn't scare the daylights out of me, but we didn't talk for the first 20 minutes or so.

Eventually it turned around and we enjoyed our time together (fortunately), but it was a weird start and a wasted hour that just caused drama. I hate drama. So does he. Hey, something we have in common!

Of course, while we were on our walk, one more thing came to light that may cause a conflict. He's apparently considering ditching his summer school classes to go on another summer international program. To Tel Aviv. Tel Aviv? Really? I mean, if that's something he really wants to do...I support it...but I'd miss him. I'd miss him until I found out that he wants me to go to Tel Aviv too. Gwen in Tel Aviv for a month. Um, no. I'm a scaredy cat and I don't do well with a BIKE. Last summer I met him in Madrid and we went on to Paris for a week, but there's a big difference between Paris and Tel Aviv. And there's a big difference between a week and a month.

I just have to say - I don't think that's going to happen.

[Ninedays9]

I am sorry to hear there was conflict. While we get along great and enjoy each other's company, there is still a lot that we don't have in common. We've brought that up to eachother on more than one occassion.

I also know what you mean about bikes... I never really learned to ride one, either! It always freaked me out, especially since I didn't learn as a young kid. I, too, am a chicken.

I hope his summer school idea goes in a way that will work for both of you!

[Mrs.Goff]

Sorry to hear about your conflict. DH and I have had more then one intense conversation about not having things in common. I'm always the one bending and giving in. So I understand where you're coming from. I'm glad to hear that you all were able to work it out or at least let it go.

[savepaws]

Awww sorry you guys had a conflict. That would be hard to not have a lot of the same interests. I think it helps if both of you are willing to do things that the other person likes to do. It'd get frustrating though if you are the only one giving in.

[Heywie]

What a bummer! I hate when stupid things lead to conflict, but this seems to have a bit of a real issue underlying.

I have similar problems because I always cede to do things I don't really like because it means spending time together with DH. Then I realized that the issue isn't that I am the only one giving in, I just never approach him with things I want to do. It turns out, he's totally into doing anything with me, I just never asked! What a dweeb!

As for Tel Aviv, I bet it would be an amazing experience for you, but it is quite the jaw dropper to hear your DH say, "Oh btw, I'm going to Tel Aviv for the summer"! I don't know what I'd do...

Good luck with all this!

[f77g4]

We have these same issues sometimes too Gwen so you're definately not the only one. I just look at it as time together regardless of what we are doing.

Hope the summer school issue works out for you!

[gwenshack]

So, since we went for a walk yesterday, I'm going to give the bike thing a try here in a little bit. I'm a little nervous - more than normal actually - since I woke up with my back all messed up this morning, but I flipped the mattress (in the hopes that it's what's causing this throbbing) and iced it for a while and then applied heat and I think I loosened it up. The past few days I've woken up with this problem - but today was BY FAR the worst. It's so weird - I've never really had back problems before! AAAH! But, like I said, I did all the things it said to do on the internet (AKA my doctor - haha) and it seems to have loosened up. So hopefully the bike thing will go pretty well and I won't topple over.

I'm trying really hard to make the most of spending time together, even if it's not on my favorite terms. :)

As for the Tel Aviv thing, you know, it doesn't surprise me that came out of his mouth. He's always up to something! I doubt it'll actually happen. The only part that surprised me was that he wanted me to go along! I wouldn't have reservations about HIM going - it's ME going! Let's face it, as much as I try not to be, I'm an old lady who's stuck in her ways! hahaha :)

Thanks to all of you for your supportive words over the past day - I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has the "things in common" issue. It's funny, because you hear that whole "opposites attract" thing - and we're not even opposites! We're pretty similar - just not when it comes to things we like. But at least we can talk about it.

[amisteratwisterandme]

So, since we went for a walk yesterday, I'm going to give the bike thing a try here in a little bit. I'm a little nervous - more than normal actually - since I woke up with my back all messed up this morning, but I flipped the mattress (in the hopes that it's what's causing this throbbing) and iced it for a while and then applied heat and I think I loosened it up. The past few days I've woken up with this problem - but today was BY FAR the worst. It's so weird - I've never really had back problems before! AAAH! But, like I said, I did all the things it said to do on the internet (AKA my doctor - haha) and it seems to have loosened up. So hopefully the bike thing will go pretty well and I won't topple over.

I'm trying really hard to make the most of spending time together, even if it's not on my favorite terms. :)

As for the Tel Aviv thing, you know, it doesn't surprise me that came out of his mouth. He's always up to something! I doubt it'll actually happen. The only part that surprised me was that he wanted me to go along! I wouldn't have reservations about HIM going - it's ME going! Let's face it, as much as I try not to be, I'm an old lady who's stuck in her ways! hahaha :)

Thanks to all of you for your supportive words over the past day - I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has the "things in common" issue. It's funny, because you hear that whole "opposites attract" thing - and we're not even opposites! We're pretty similar - just not when it comes to things we like. But at least we can talk about it.

You are a pretty darn good sport and a pretty darn good wife. Make sure dh knows how lucky he is. Can you transport your bikes at all? It would be great if you could take them someplace with fewer hills and less traffic to get the gist of it. I would think that after riding for awhile, you will be much more comfortable around them.

[gwenshack]

You are a pretty darn good sport and a pretty darn good wife. Make sure dh knows how lucky he is. Can you transport your bikes at all? It would be great if you could take them someplace with fewer hills and less traffic to get the gist of it. I would think that after riding for awhile, you will be much more comfortable around them.

Hahaha! Thanks - being a pretty darn good wife is a heck of a lot easier than being a pretty darn good sport. Isn't that sad? :)

I just got out of the shower from the bike ride extravaganza - ahhhh, nerve wracking. Every time a car came around a corner it would totally freak me out. Yes, we could try to transport the bikes down the hill - we actually only live a mile from the beach, where there's a bike path and no crazy hills - but DH's dream is for me to just be able to hop on the bike and take off and be able to go for hours. Dream on, DH...Dream on. Ha. You know, when it comes to endurance, I typically have a lot, but biking is an entire different animal. It wears me out since I'm not used to it. I think the next time he wants to go I'll suggest we just park down in the beach lot and take the bikes from there. I think I'd be more jazzed with the idea - I'd definitely enjoy it more - if we did that.

It's funny because DH was like "Did you have ANY fun as a kid?" Ha. I guess not! He, to this day, is still baffled that I never rode a bike until he came along and taught me.

But, anyway, I survived! For today at least!! :)

[gwenshack]

So my back pain continued on into today, despite having flipped the mattress yesterday. All I can is Uh Oh. My mother reminded me this morning that my father's back started going out when he was in his 30's. Of course that didn't occur to me as relevant until she said it - when my father was in his 30's he was old and I'm not old dammit! Ha. How did I get to this age? I am too young to be this old! I don't think my back is "going out" by definition, but there is definitely a problem. I'll give it a few more days but then I'm probably going to have to seek some medical attention. It's so weird because I'm fine during the day but then I go to bed and wake up in agony until it loosens up. Last night I went to bed around 1 - at 3:30 I woke up and I was cringing. I was awake until about 5:30 - finally fell asleep again and slept (unfortunately) until 10:30, but after that period of 5 hours there wasn't any pain. So I sleep the first time for 2 and a half hours and that's enough to bring on the pain, but five hours not so much? I fear it's not the bed.

Other than that, we think DH might have had to report for jury duty yesterday but we screwed up and didn't call. Basically, out here, you're assigned a week of service and you're supposed to call every evening to find out if you need to report the next day. He called Sunday (because I reminded him to) and it said he didn't need to report Monday. He called Monday (because I reminded him to) and it said he didn't need to report Tuesday. Tuesday I forgot to remind him so he forgot to call. So when we realized last night that he had never called, he called and his group number wasn't mentioned on the recording that gave instructions as to which group numbers needed to report for today. So we speculate he was supposed to report yesterday but he forgot to call and didn't know, and now he'll probably be assigned a new week and will have to start all over again. You know, as organized as I am, even I forgot to remind him on the third day. Why can't they make it so you just have to remember to call once? 5 days of remembering to do something that's not in your routine is a lot to ask for!

Anyway, I've spent most of the day - save for a trip to Trader Joe's for healthy food - lying around. It sucks. I'm apparently not supposed to do anything strenuous. How the heck am I supposed to lose happy weight if I'm not allowed to move? GRRRR! I've walked every day this week (save for the bike ride yesterday) but I just haven't felt up to it today, which sucks, since I'm mentally pretty motivated. I want the back pain to stop so I can start lifting weights and kickboxing again. I can't believe the only reason I'll be willing to go to a doctor is so I can kickbox. What a weird set of priorities...:)

[f77g4]

Coming from a fellow OWer who has watched her mother suffer severely for the last 2 years with back issues - please see your doctor. You could have moved wrong, lifted something too heavy and slipped a disk or something which isn't anything to take lightly!

I hope you feel better soon and go see a doctor.

[gwenshack]

Coming from a fellow OWer who has watched her mother suffer severely for the last 2 years with back issues - please see your doctor. You could have moved wrong, lifted something too heavy and slipped a disk or something which isn't anything to take lightly!

I hope you feel better soon and go see a doctor.

I promise I will Monday if it's not better. :)

[f77g4]

I promise I will Monday if it's not better. :)

Glad to hear - just watching my mom suffer isn't pretty and I would hate to see someone else end up in that situation.

[gwenshack]

Glad to hear - just watching my mom suffer isn't pretty and I would hate to see someone else end up in that situation.

Thanks for looking out for your internet buddy. :)

[Danielle9608]

Gwen, don't feel old from your back issues. I also suffer from major back issues (I herniated a disc a week after my honeymoon) and I know I'm not old! ;) I hope you feel better soon!!

[gwenshack]

Hahaha :) Thanks Danielle! Typically I subscribe to the theory that age is just a state of mind - that is until my bones felt like they were giving out. Ha. I'm kidding, of course. :) I'm sorry you herniated a disc after your honeymoon! What horrible way to start your lives together! I assume you're all better now?

[Danielle9608]

Well I don't want to scare you. But once you do it - it's very easy to do it again. I went to physical therapy and had cortisone injections which helped for a while but certain positions (like bending forward) will re injure my back. I do exercises to help prevent further injury and stretches to alleviate the pain when I do hurt myself. But I find the more active I stay the less often I hurt.

[f77g4]

Well I don't want to scare you. But once you do it - it's very easy to do it again. I went to physical therapy and had cortisone injections which helped for a while but certain positions (like bending forward) will re injure my back. I do exercises to help prevent further injury and stretches to alleviate the pain when I do hurt myself. But I find the more active I stay the less often I hurt.

Sounds like what I've seen my mom experience. She lifted a box wrong when her office was moving for renovations - it wasn't overly heavy but she just lifted it wrong. She ended up with a pinched nerve and herienated disc. She has had back surgery and now one of her discs is like as small as a sliver and she can't lift anything over 5lbs and has no feeling in her left leg and now has to spend the rest of her life walking with a leg brace - but at least she's walking. I hope you don't end up experiencing this - either you Gwen or Danielle!

[gwenshack]

Sounds like what I've seen my mom experience. She lifted a box wrong when her office was moving for renovations - it wasn't overly heavy but she just lifted it wrong. She ended up with a pinched nerve and herienated disc. She has had back surgery and now one of her discs is like as small as a sliver and she can't lift anything over 5lbs and has no feeling in her left leg and now has to spend the rest of her life walking with a leg brace - but at least she's walking. I hope you don't end up experiencing this - either you Gwen or Danielle!

Oh your poor dear mother!! :whyme:

[f77g4]

Oh your poor dear mother!! :whyme:

Thanks - thats why I dont take back injuries likely. She thought she had just pulled a muscle and when the pain didn't die down after a week she went to the dr and they were amazed she could still walk with how badly the disc was pinching the nerve....sorry for hijacking your thread about the subject.

[gwenshack]

Thanks - thats why I dont take back injuries likely. She thought she had just pulled a muscle and when the pain didn't die down after a week she went to the dr and they were amazed she could still walk with how badly the disc was pinching the nerve....sorry for hijacking your thread about the subject.

No hijacking here! Consider my journal open for any and all discussion! :)

[gwenshack]

So yesterday we were bored. We tried to get up early and go down to this community pool near our house, that is actually right on the beach, so it's basically this really nice complex where you can use their beach/pool/lockers and they have tennis courts and volleyball and everything - but - everything fills up really quick. Because it's basically like a private beach club except that it's public. So you have to get there early to get a pass. When we got there around noon they only had ONE pool pass left - and there were 2 of us...so we were screwed. Grrrr.

I was really disappointed - I'm not gonna lie. I had my heart set on this pool thing and Ron and I have been really trying to make an effort to do STUFF together - not just always go out to bars or whatever. We're trying to do more outdoors stuff. Trying to be more active together.

So we didn't get to the pool, so Ron came home and changed and went for a jog (first one for him in months!) and then I proceded to clean a lot of things around the house that had gone neglected while I was away. BORING!

Ron gets back from his jog and says "You going to Disneyland with me?"

Uh...yeah! :)

So we get in the car. Ok, look it's Memorial Day weekend, so that's a really dumb idea in LA. And Disneyland on a holiday weekend? Are we nuts?

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/004.jpg

But, despite the traffic (which is, sadly, pretty normal), we marched onward.

And then, when we got there, we just sort of stood in line. :) Ha. But that's ok. We really didn't ride many rides or anything, but we participated in a wine tasting (way more our speed anyway...haha).

Here's a pic from California Adventure
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/011.jpg

Then we played games - against each other - where you squirt water at this point and if your little fireman reaches the top first you win a prize. Basically, a winner every time.
I won the first time! Yippee!
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/037.jpg

Ron won the second time - and didn't just play against me - he had to beat 2 little kids too. He whipped their butts. Ha. (We're horrible...)
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/039.jpg

[gwenshack]

We didn't really go on a lot of rides, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway, considering the battery in my camera was low! But I did get a few good shots.

First we went on the swings - they used to be called James and the Giant Peach. Now it's called the Orange Swinger or something? WTF? Anyway, back when it was called James and the Giant Peach, Ron used to call it "James and the Giant Concern I'm too fat for this ride..." I think that's hilarious. Why would they change the name of the ride and take that funny away from me?

See, the ride is housed in this giant dome that was supposed to be a peach. Now they're claiming it's an orange. BS!
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/013.jpg

Ron's butt squeezed into the swing (AKA the giant concern...)
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/021.jpg

Me swinging around
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/028.jpg

These are the slowest bumper cars ever...
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/040.jpg

But we went on them anyway!
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/051.jpg

All in all, it was a fun day, but we were freaking exhausted. We stood in line for like an hour for the submarine ride in Disneyland. But we did get to see the fireworks while we were in line. :)

Still today, our feet are killing us. We're getting old...!

[f77g4]

Looks like a good time! I've never been to either Disney although I'm not a big rides person.

How is your back feeling these days?

[gwenshack]

Looks like a good time! I've never been to either Disney although I'm not a big rides person.

How is your back feeling these days?

It seems to be better yesterday and today - thanks for asking! It was a little sore this morning, but nothing like it has been. :chimp:

[f77g4]

It seems to be better yesterday and today - thanks for asking! It was a little sore this morning, but nothing like it has been. :chimp:

Thats good to hear! :)

[gwenshack]

So yesterday I got an e-mail from one of my friends in the D.C. area - this guy I've been friends with for like 13 years. He used to be my boss, but he was my friend long before that and has been (and will be) long after as well. Anyway, he sends me an e-mail telling me that he's throwing himself a big 50th birthday celebration in August and that he hopes I can be there since I've been there for so many other things.
There was a time we never thought he'd make it to 50. So heck yeah. I bought a plane ticket right then and there. Boy was my family surprised when I told them I was coming home for a few days at the end of July/beginning of August.
Of course this just makes July a month very similar to what this past month has been for me - HECTIC.
Ron and I are are planning our belated honeymoon for right after he finishes his summer school finals - mid-July. So basically, what I think is going to happen, we're going to go down to Key West for about a week and then I'm going to come home, do laundry, and end up on another plane a day or two later to go back to D.C.
Worth it. So worth it. :)
Ron's not going to make the trip with me this go around - there's only so many times in a calendar year we can deal with each other's respective parents. I mean, I saw his in March at the wedding and then again in Texas last week. He had to deal with mine in March and then my mom is coming out here in June for a week (but with my awesome brother). So for him to come in August would put my family up one visit and Ron down one degree of sanity. :)
I'm excited though. I love D.C. in the middle of summer - sticky and hot - a billion percent humidity. Love it. :)

[gwenshack]

I love holidays. We were so lazy today. I took a walk and we both cleaned parts of the house, but, for the most part, we did, um, nothing. :) I took a lovely nap though. I think DH played some World of Warcraft. And then - here's the kicker - while I'm sitting here on my butt watching the game, DH is in the kitchen making dinner.

*Dying and going to heaven*

I'm not the domestic in this house - I love how as I type that as I hear the pepper grinder in the background. Sure, I clean and do the laundry and the grocery shopping and all that, but I'm the worst cook - ok, most nonexistent cook - ever. I don't even try. DH is waaaay better than me, so on the occasions we do "cook" he's the one with the chef hat on. But I love when he cooks - save for the mess that he leaves behind - it makes me feel spoiled.

Yay husband!

[f77g4]

I love holidays. We were so lazy today. I took a walk and we both cleaned parts of the house, but, for the most part, we did, um, nothing. :) I took a lovely nap though. I think DH played some World of Warcraft. And then - here's the kicker - while I'm sitting here on my butt watching the game, DH is in the kitchen making dinner.

*Dying and going to heaven*

I'm not the domestic in this house - I love how as I type that as I hear the pepper grinder in the background. Sure, I clean and do the laundry and the grocery shopping and all that, but I'm the worst cook - ok, most nonexistent cook - ever. I don't even try. DH is waaaay better than me, so on the occasions we do "cook" he's the one with the chef hat on. But I love when he cooks - save for the mess that he leaves behind - it makes me feel spoiled.

Yay husband!

LOL thats awesome! I'm lucky that way too - FH does a lot of our household duties too and the girls at work are always saying how easy I have it. My excuse is that FH gets 4 days off a week while I only get 2 plus I study and am planning the wedding....lol

[gwenshack]

Pet Peeve #1

I have multiple pet peeves, but allow me to outline the one that irks me the most. Rude people. The people who are mean to waiters, grocery checkers, bartenders, sales associates, flight attendants, etc. The people who think these people are beneath them and are there to service them and cater to their every whims. Drives me bonkers.

I actually ditched a friend once because I couldn't take being with her in public anymore. The way she treated waiters and bartenders made me crazy. I was constantly apologizing for her behavior when she'd go use the ladies room.

Why do I bring this up now? OMG - this lady in the grocery store. She was on her phone, standing in the line in front of me, and she didn't say ONE WORD to the guy who checked her groceries. Not one word. She just chatted on her phone, swiped her credit card, took her receipt out of his hand and just kept walking. No thank you, no "How's it going?" - nothing. RUDE. Gross and rude. It was like she didn't even acknowledge that she was dealing with a real person. Like she thought he was beneath her. I hate that.

That's all! Hahaha. Just totally set me off.

[f77g4]

Pet Peeve #1

I have multiple pet peeves, but allow me to outline the one that irks me the most. Rude people. The people who are mean to waiters, grocery checkers, bartenders, sales associates, flight attendants, etc. The people who think these people are beneath them and are there to service them and cater to their every whims. Drives me bonkers.

I actually ditched a friend once because I couldn't take being with her in public anymore. The way she treated waiters and bartenders made me crazy. I was constantly apologizing for her behavior when she'd go use the ladies room.

Why do I bring this up now? OMG - this lady in the grocery store. She was on her phone, standing in the line in front of me, and she didn't say ONE WORD to the guy who checked her groceries. Not one word. She just chatted on her phone, swiped her credit card, took her receipt out of his hand and just kept walking. No thank you, no "How's it going?" - nothing. RUDE. Gross and rude. It was like she didn't even acknowledge that she was dealing with a real person. Like she thought he was beneath her. I hate that.

That's all! Hahaha. Just totally set me off.

That situation happens so often - I was a grocery clerk for 4 years and had so many of the same things happen. I had people just throw their change at me etc...it's amazing.

[gwenshack]

That situation happens so often - I was a grocery clerk for 4 years and had so many of the same things happen. I had people just throw their change at me etc...it's amazing.

It IS amazing. When I worked in my friend's coffeehouse I was overwhelmed with how poorly people thought they could treat me. Fortunately we were a small business and most of the people who were customers were "frequent fliers" who knew us and hung out with us as friends so the typical stream of anonymous jerks wasn't my daily life. But I do remember a few people who totally treated me like a dirt just because I was on the opposite side of the counter.

So I've been doing all this research about Key West for our upcoming belated honeymoon! :chimp: I'm super excited, you know, since I never go out of town of anything. :winktongue:

I've been waivering back and forth between two different resorts, but I think I've settled on this one.
www.pierhouse.com (http://www.pierhouse.com)
The advantage this one has is that they offer free parking - and since we are probably going to be there for a week and plan on driving down from Miami, since the drive is supposed to be incredibly beautiful, it would really stink to pay for a rental car and THEN pay like $25 a day to park it!
The other advantage this one has over the other one I was considering is that Pier House has its own private beach and the other one is just overlooking the beach, as opposed to having actual sand and access to the Gulf of New Mexico. Both have a pool though. :)

[f77g4]

Looks beautiful!!

[gwenshack]

and access to the Gulf of New Mexico. Both have a pool though.:)

I think we all know I meant the Gulf of Mexico...hahahahaha :)

[ChristineLS]

the Gulf of New Mexico. Both have a pool though. :)

Best typo ever :D

I used to work as a grocery clerk. It's really surprising how mean people feel is acceptable to be... I know what you're talking about. My pet peeve is that, and the people who don't feel they should tip waiters and waitresses well. I mean, unless the person was a complete jerk... that's how they make their money. But that's rude too.

[gwenshack]

Best typo ever :D

I used to work as a grocery clerk. It's really surprising how mean people feel is acceptable to be... I know what you're talking about. My pet peeve is that, and the people who don't feel they should tip waiters and waitresses well. I mean, unless the person was a complete jerk... that's how they make their money. But that's rude too.

I hear the pool at the Gulf Of New Mexico has a diving board...hehe...:)

Um, yeah, the tipping thing is of major concern as well. It's hard waiting tables! If somebody asks you to refill a water glass and then somebody else asks for a fork and then you walk 2 feet away and somebody says "This is cold", well, you've got your hands full! It's hard being hospitable to people all day long and to keep straight all of those little requests. And I was horrible at it! Hahahaha :) Ok, not horrible, but it's easy to get overwhelmed and there's certainly a reason I decided that wasn't going to be a career path for me. And some of those customers just have no comprehension of how difficult the job is and tick down the tip percentage because they had to ask twice for a water refill - that's just tacky IMO.

[gwenshack]

I just found out that my friend died. I had known him for 11 years. He was a bartender at a place I have frequented for as long as I've been legally allowed to drink. I'm not sure what the cause of death was, but I assume it had to do with drugs. People our age don't just keel over in the afternoon for no reason. And he's had a long history. I haven't actually been informed - technically - stupid facebook. I don't have it, or myspace, or twitter, and I rarely youtube - I'm just not down with the technology. But my best friend is. Fortunately she reconnected with our other friend, Bartender D, at the wedding (she knew him when she lived down here), facebooked him, and found out that Bartender J died yesterday and told me over e-mail. So now I'm just sitting here stewing in it. I sent Bartender D a text telling him I was sorry and asked if there was anything I could do. I know there's not.
I'm just sad. This was a funny, vibrant, talented guy who was the life of the party. He was fully of wit and charm and I had the biggest flirting thing with him for years.
And now he's gone.

[ChristineLS]

I just found out that my friend died. I had known him for 11 years. He was a bartender at a place I have frequented for as long as I've been legally allowed to drink. I'm not sure what the cause of death was, but I assume it had to do with drugs. People our age don't just keel over in the afternoon for no reason. And he's had a long history. I haven't actually been informed - technically - stupid facebook. I don't have it, or myspace, or twitter, and I rarely youtube - I'm just not down with the technology. But my best friend is. Fortunately she reconnected with our other friend, Bartender D, at the wedding (she knew him when she lived down here), facebooked him, and found out that Bartender J died yesterday and told me over e-mail. So now I'm just sitting here stewing in it. I sent Bartender D a text telling him I was sorry and asked if there was anything I could do. I know there's not.
I'm just sad. This was a funny, vibrant, talented guy who was the life of the party. He was fully of wit and charm and I had the biggest flirting thing with him for years.
And now he's gone.


*hugs*

I'm sorry, that's so sad.... :(

I don't know what to say, but I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

[amisteratwisterandme]

I am so sorry to hear that Gwen. It sucks when someone is taken to soon. My thoughts will be you!

[gwenshack]

Fortunately, with the new baby, all my friend does is check her computer stuff and so she's been on top of the facebook stuff today to keep me on top of the latest details.
Apparently this was posted...

Sometime during the morning of Tuesday June 2, 2009 our friend and family member J**** E** C***** collapse in the hallway of his apartment. When paramedics arrived they found him unconscious with shallow breathing and an irregular heart beat. The EMTs administered shock and medications to keep his heart going. He was brought to USC-County Hospital here in downtown Los Angeles. Two doctors and am amazing crew of technicians and nurses did everything they could to resuscitate him but were unsuccessful.

At about 12:30 PM we lost a good friend, a talented musician and comedienne and a great bartender.

Then my friend B called from Virginia because he had checked his Facebook and found out about Bartender J and he wanted to find out if I knew. And then we got to talking about how this guy we know in D.C. is in hospice and is also about to die - apparently his SKIN CANCER spread so badly that chemo couldn't do anything about it and now he's in hospice care waiting to die.

When did we become old enough to lose friends like this? :irked: I just want to scream. But instead I'm going to be responsible and go to the podiatrist like I'm supposed to. And then I'm probably going to the bar as soon as they open. If they open today...

[PGDesigns]

Gwen, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. My thoughts are with all of you.

[f77g4]

Wow sorry to hear Gwen! It's honestly amazing how many young people die.

Know that we're thinking of you and the friends/family of the bartender and also the other guy in hospice.

[Danielle9608]

Gwen I am so sorry for your loss.

[kgvettegirl]

Gwen, I'm so very sorry about both of your friends. You, and them will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Mrs.Goff]

Oh Gwen, I'm so sorry for you loss. (((Hugs)))

[gwenshack]

Thanks everybody for your kind words. It's been a rough day all around. I wish that I could have done something - anything - productive or helpful, but there's nothing I could really do. I found out some stuff at the bar tonight when I went by to pay my respects, find out when the memorial is going to be, and have a couple of drinks to drown my sorrows, but I have to post them in the private thoughts section because I don't think they're public consumption worthy...

[gwenshack]

I woke up early this morning and with a bit of a cheap vodka headache. I really do start noting my age more and more. That kind of stuff never used to bother me! Ah well, fitting tribute to the person who used to pour me cheap vodka back when I was young and spry and got up in the morning and bounced back. Now I'm huddled under a blanket dumping caffeine directly into my veins while icing my foot. Oh, yeah, that's great by the way. The podiatrist told me I have to ice my foot in ten minute intervals several times a day. My feet are already so cold all the time! I did it this morning and it was so stingy and tingly! Eek! I had to wrap a couple of paper towels around the bag to even endure it. This is going to be a long week of frozen fun!
The other stuff she said to do was A) stay off of it, which really stinks B) wear tennis shoes when I absolutely have to be on it, which stinks but not as bad as the ice and the staying off of it and C) take a massive amount of perscription strenth ibuprofen to try to reduce the inflammation. I'm not really keen on this staying off of it part. But I'm going to do as she says because she swears it'll get rid of this pain I've had since around the time I went up to SF to meet the faux-niece. That was May 2. So it's been about a month of hobbling. I'm no more a fan of hobbling than I am staying off my feet and icing it, so I guess I'll take the lesser of the evils and hope that I'm back to my jumping and running self soon.
As for the memorial, it sounds like it's going to be Sunday at some point but they don't really know time or place. Apparently J's uncle was pushing to have it in the bar, but D and others are saying that seems inappropriate (which I would agree) and are trying to find a hall or something to do it in. I think there may be a separate actual funeral planned in the future for family or something - unclear really. I just feel bad for D. He's always the "mother hen" and takes too much responsibility upon himself during times of crisis. I really hope he's taking care of himself and seeing to his own needs. I left him a note at the bar when I was there telling him to call me if he wanted to vent. Sometimes he takes me up on that in hard situations so I just wanted to give him the opening if he needed to get it out.

[gwenshack]

Ok I'm not gonna lie - my client cancelled for this afternoon and I heaved a giant sigh of relief. I don't feel like being perky and I'm quite content staying off my foot. I have modified my plans for the day to include sitting around and doing jack $h!t. Game 1 of the NBA finals is this evening and I'm pretty sure I'll watch that and just wait for the DH to come home.
Oh, here's a funny story about DH though. I was telling him about how OW is doing the photo a day for the month of June thing and he was HORRIFIED that four days have gone by and he hasn't been in one of my self portraits yet. So he's pushing to be a part of my photo tomorrow. How funny. :) I'll see what I can do to honor that request.
As for me, I'm just cranky. Bottom line, cranky. I keep thinking about what happened with J and I keep wondering if it could have been stopped somehow. I'm not a big "what if" person but I can't help but do it in this situation.

[gwenshack]

...and then I took a nap for like two hours.

Awesome.

[gwenshack]

Day 2 of icing my foot and taking 800 mgs of pain reliever a pop. That's the equivalent of four advil in 1 pill. That's a lot, especially considering I never take pain relievers. Well, not never, but it's a rare day when I feel compelled to.
Hopefully I won't feel any pain for a while - do you think the pain relievers will ease the broken heart over J? I doubt it...haha.
I got an e-mail from bartender D today and it said the memorial is Sunday evening at 8...at the bar. I mean, I know it's fitting, seeing as that's where he worked for 12 years and where he met almost everyone he knew around here, and his family is scattered around the world and may or may not even be coming to this, but I sort of hoped they would have found another locale. There's something about having someone's memorial in a bar that makes it seem - well - dirty. Dirty. I wonder why I used that word. I love bars. But bars and memorials, for some reason in my mind, don't mix.
In other lighter news, I'm wondering if DH and I are the only ones who have decision making problems.
DH: "Where do you want to eat?"
Me: "I don't care - whatever you want is fine."
DH: "Well I'd do Chinese or Italian."
Me: "I'm more down for Italian but if you really want Chinese that's fine too."
DH: "Ok so which Italian place?"
Me: "Whichever one you want."
DH: "Well, you pick."
Me: "Well, do you want pizza or another dish - because the one place uses a lot of red sauce and I know sometimes you're not too keen on red sauce..."
DH: "Just pick one..."
Me: "Yeah, but if I don't know what you're in the mood for or if you'll like that one place. And I don't want to pick the wrong one."
DH: "Which one do you want to go to?"
Me: "Um, well, I guess that one..."
DH: "Are you picking that one because you think that's the one I want to eat in or because that's where you actually want to eat?"
Me: "Well I'm trying to figure out where you want to eat so I can make the right decision."
DH: "There is no right decision - where do you want to eat?"
Me: "Well, that one I guess...but I don't want to pick the wrong one..."

Later...DH didn't like lunch...

DH: "I feel sick to my stomach."
Me: "I knew I'd pick the wrong one...."

Sometimes you can't win...

[f77g4]

Day 2 of icing my foot and taking 800 mgs of pain reliever a pop. That's the equivalent of four advil in 1 pill. That's a lot, especially considering I never take pain relievers. Well, not never, but it's a rare day when I feel compelled to.
Hopefully I won't feel any pain for a while - do you think the pain relievers will ease the broken heart over J? I doubt it...haha.
I got an e-mail from bartender D today and it said the memorial is Sunday evening at 8...at the bar. I mean, I know it's fitting, seeing as that's where he worked for 12 years and where he met almost everyone he knew around here, and his family is scattered around the world and may or may not even be coming to this, but I sort of hoped they would have found another locale. There's something about having someone's memorial in a bar that makes it seem - well - dirty. Dirty. I wonder why I used that word. I love bars. But bars and memorials, for some reason in my mind, don't mix.
In other lighter news, I'm wondering if DH and I are the only ones who have decision making problems.
DH: "Where do you want to eat?"
Me: "I don't care - whatever you want is fine."
DH: "Well I'd do Chinese or Italian."
Me: "I'm more down for Italian but if you really want Chinese that's fine too."
DH: "Ok so which Italian place?"
Me: "Whichever one you want."
DH: "Well, you pick."
Me: "Well, do you want pizza or another dish - because the one place uses a lot of red sauce and I know sometimes you're not too keen on red sauce..."
DH: "Just pick one..."
Me: "Yeah, but if I don't know what you're in the mood for or if you'll like that one place. And I don't want to pick the wrong one."
DH: "Which one do you want to go to?"
Me: "Um, well, I guess that one..."
DH: "Are you picking that one because you think that's the one I want to eat in or because that's where you actually want to eat?"
Me: "Well I'm trying to figure out where you want to eat so I can make the right decision."
DH: "There is no right decision - where do you want to eat?"
Me: "Well, that one I guess...but I don't want to pick the wrong one..."

Later...DH didn't like lunch...

DH: "I feel sick to my stomach."
Me: "I knew I'd pick the wrong one...."

Sometimes you can't win...


In PS I Love You they held the memorial/wake at the guys bar and it was actually quite touching....

I hope the pain in your foot goes away soon!

[gwenshack]

In PS I Love You they held the memorial/wake at the guys bar and it was actually quite touching....

I hope the pain in your foot goes away soon!

Oh I forgot about that movie! What a tear jerker!

[Ninedays9]

I am very sorry about your friend!! :hug:


Eddie and I are the exact same way when it comes to deciding on what to eat. Every night we go through the same thing and it's rare when we're ever thinking the same thing. One day, we actually both really wanted *good* pizza (from a pizza parlor type place), but we didn't have time to get any because he had to work soon. We discussed dinner for tonight earlier, and we still haven't decided. He wanted leftover spaghetti and I didn't want to eat that again for dinner.

[Mrs.Goff]

I swear DH and I have had that exact conversation a million times. haha It's like you were there with us.

[gwenshack]

I swear DH and I have had that exact conversation a million times. haha It's like you were there with us.

Too funny. I suspect lots of people have that conversation...but if I say I don't care, then I really don't care! If he has an opinion one way or the other I wish he'd just say so! So then, if the food sucks, I don't feel guilty because I picked it! :winktongue:

[Mrs.Goff]

Too funny. I suspect lots of people have that conversation...but if I say I don't care, then I really don't care! If he has an opinion one way or the other I wish he'd just say so! So then, if the food sucks, I don't feel guilty because I picked it! :winktongue:

I hate when he says he doesn't care but everything I suggest he shoots down.:irked: It's like THEN YOU CHOOSE! Sometime I get so upset that I don't even want to eat anymore. haha

[gwenshack]

I have a dirty confession to make.

I have spent several hours today watching episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Please, do not respect me any longer. I beg of you. :)

[Mrs.Goff]

Haha, I watch that stuff all the time. They drive me crazy, even make me mad but I can't help myself.

[amisteratwisterandme]

Gwen,

I am truly sorry about your friend. Life deals us some pretty good blows once in a while. I remember when my brother passed away how I would hear the usual things: He's in a better place, at least he's not hurting anymore. While I truly appreciated everyone and their thoughts, I realized that of course everyone is sorry that you lost someone you loved. That's a given.

One of the things that a friend said to me is this: DEATH SUCKS! And yep, it sure does. I will be thinking about you tomorrow, and hope that his service brings you a bit of peace.

We had a service for my grandma at the Moose Lodge that she spent the majority of her years in. It felt a little odd to me, also, but it was what she would have wanted, and we found a way to be tasteful about it.

[f77g4]

I have a dirty confession to make.

I have spent several hours today watching episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Please, do not respect me any longer. I beg of you. :)

I watch the Orange County one all the time on the weekends, especially if FH is working....they just kind of suck you in for multiple episodes eh?

[PGDesigns]

I have a dirty confession to make.

I have spent several hours today watching episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Please, do not respect me any longer. I beg of you. :)

IF it's any consolation, I was upstairs on the computer the other night, and I could hear the tv downstairs. Guess what DH got sucked into watching while flipping through?

That Paris Hilton BFF show! OMG. I must have laughed for a good 5 minutes or so before I even went down there to give him a hard time.

[gwenshack]

I watch the Orange County one all the time on the weekends, especially if FH is working....they just kind of suck you in for multiple episodes eh?

They played like 5 in a row! I watched a couple, tried to walk away, but like any good drug, I came back later for more. :winktongue:

[Docsgirl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Gwen. *Hug* I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.



And for the dinner thing, DH has resorted to answering "Spaghetti" every night when I ask him what he wants for dinner. He says if he just says that every night, he knows I'll make whatever I want. lol I've been thinking about making spaghetti every night for a week to see if he thinks his plan is so brilliant after all. Hahaha. :)

[gwenshack]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Gwen. *Hug* I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.



And for the dinner thing, DH has resorted to answering "Spaghetti" every night when I ask him what he wants for dinner. He says if he just says that every night, he knows I'll make whatever I want. lol I've been thinking about making spaghetti every night for a week to see if he thinks his plan is so brilliant after all. Hahaha. :)

Thanks Tara...:)

BTW I would LOVE to see you do the spaghetti experiment. That would be awesome. :)

[gwenshack]

So the memorial was last night. I was a little nervous to go since I didn't know what the dynamic would be like. I'm not really good in crowds and I was also worried because I'm supposed to stay off my foot and if it was really crowded and we had to stand the whole time I probably would have been in a world of hurt. Fortunately we got there right when they opened the doors and were able to snag 2 stools at the bar, which was good, because we were right by the door and the bar, which is where all the people I knew were congregated anyway. I was just trying to lay low, honestly, in a sea of people. We got there and D came out and gave me a hug and he was like YOU CANNOT MAKE ME CRY. I'll try. That didn't mean I couldn't, right? We sat down and started drinking. When in Rome. It was open bar. That was really nice of the owner of the bar - he just opened it up to all the mourners (and I think some people who just happened to come to the bar...). They made up really nice programs and there were flowers and food and candles and stuff, so there were signs of a memorial service happening.
It started out really quiet and respectful - the first hour people were mostly greeting one another and chatting, drinking - and then they turned the mike on and opened the floor to people to come up and talk. I couldn't. I'm not a public speaker to begin with, but a crowd full of mourners, including his mom and ex-gf (the current GF was conspicuously missing)...I just couldn't. DH offered to get up and speak FOR me, but I didn't really want that either. I mean, I know DH meant the best and all but he didn't really know J all that well. So I passed.
Some people got up a few times - there was this one guy who just liked to hear his own voice and kept getting up and saying stuff like "It wasn't just the drink. He gave you so much more than the drink. The drink wasn't what mattered..." - he was trying (obviously) to try to get people to cry by saying alleged touching things, but it just wasn't working for him. Not to roll my eyes at somebody who's getting up to speak about the deceased - I mean, the first time he got up I thought he was kind of stupid but I sat respectfully anyway, but by the FOURTH time he got up...Ummm...
Speaking of respectful, after about an hour of people talking, people started getting restless and talking amongst themselves and after a while you really couldn't hear the speakers anymore. I think that's the reason I didn't think the bar was the best idea. You give people booze, eventually they're going to forget why they're there, and on top of it his friends and coworkers ended up working through the thing. If we were in another venue they could have relaxed and just been in the moment.
I think the moment got lost at times.
I tried to stay to myself and DH for the most part. I gave my best wishes to his best friend, and I kept my eye on D (in an attempt to be his friend), but the only other people I talked to was this guy S, who used to work at the bar, and J's mother, who I had to say something to before I left.
The interaction with S was weird. S used to be the doorman there and for years I thought he might be mute - he NEVER talked - he just checked IDs and nodded his head. And then one day, years later, he looked at me and said "I'm super excited right now because I got this CD of this Mexican punk band."
Um, are you talking? To me?
And from then on he spoke to me - nodded to most everybody else - but talked to me. He quit a couple of years ago to go to culinary school, but I've seen him every so often because he'd pop in now and again. Anyway, he came up to me last night and said "I'm so glad to see you here. I'm so glad you came. You know, and I'm not just saying this and I wouldn't lie to you, but J REALLY liked you..."
Yeah, I know. Nobody really talked about it though.
And then his mom - she kept it together most of the night - but she ended up near DH and I and was crying and going on about how she was his mother and she should have been able to fix his problems - heartbreaking. I went up and asked if I could give her a hug and introduced myself - told her that he used to screen my dates and that he was just a really good person in a city full of really fake people. That he used to send me stupid text messages that were just silly and didn't mean anything, but they made me laugh. That he always protected me.
So I felt like I got to still say what I needed to say to the somebody who probably needed to hear it, but I didn't have to stand up in front of a crowd with a mike on in front of me.
It was a rough night though. DH and I were at the bar for probably 3 and a half hours and then we just decided to throw in the towel. Came home and read my OW e-mails...haha.

[gwenshack]

I walked today for an hour - I am still officially supposed to be resting my foot but I've been basically lying around feeling sorry for myself for almost a week. With the whole J thing and the foot thing I've been a blob of self pity.
I iced my foot when I got back - that never gets any warmer, does it? Ha.
I contemplated going by the bar this evening to check on D, but I figured he'd probably just appreciate the space and possibly just not having to talk about J for like five seconds...so I decided to hold off. Maybe Thursday.
Of course if I don't do it soon then I'm going to be enveloped with the visit of my mother and brother, who fly into town on Saturday. I'm happy to see them and all, but I think everyone would agree that *8* days is a long time for family to be in town. Sure, they're not staying with us, so a big kudos to them for that. Seeing as we don't have a guest room - I mean, we have DH's office and an old futon stuffed in a closet - but my family isn't so tacky to insist staying with us. We pulled the futon out and rearranged our entire home for DH's family. I'm going to send them "Staying in a Hotel for Dummies" if there is such a thing.
I just don't want to feel swamped with things they "HAVE" to do. I hate entertaining. And I'm cool with some of the things they want to do. I just really don't want to go downtown for the Laker parade if we win the NBA finals. There's nothing I hate more than going downtown. Downtown L.A. is an unfriendly pit of despair with no place to park. And it's even worse when there's something going on down there. Like blocking off the streets for a parade, for example...
Fortunately for DH he's going to miss out on most of the family "fun". He's still really upset with my mother - as am I for that matter - about her attitude toward DH at the wedding. I was really disappointed with her and I want to keep them apart as much as possible for a while. She should be embarassed and I don't think she is!
But anyway, DH will probably really only have to see them Saturday and Sunday. Monday through Thursday he has school and then Friday he's leaving for Catalina to go camping with some friends. (Although having them here DOES get me out of camping...) And he'll be gone until Sunday and they leave Sunday morning.
I don't know what I'm going to do about family issues as time ticks by. I don't really get along with his family and he really doesn't get along with mine. Well, "doesn't get along" doesn't really sum it up - there's fake niceties. Neither of us feel COMFORTABLE around the in-laws. So how do we handle holidays and stuff? We tried to talk about that the other night but we decided we'd just deal with it when we absolutely had to. We decided to leave our Friday night upbeat and drop the conversation...:)

[Danielle9608]

I hope your family well be on good behavior when they come to see you! The family situation does suck, but what can you do, you can't pick new ones. LOL

[gwenshack]

Ok, this is idiotic, but am I the only one not on Facebook or Myspace? I know there have to be others, right?

My mother sent me an e-mail last night to tell me that she sent D a Facebook message telling him that she's sorry about the loss of J. Ok, one, why does my mother have Facebook? And, two, why the hell is she using it to contact my friends who she doesn't know? Egad. And slightly creepy.

I just know this is going to open the door for "So...your mom has a Facebook - why don't you?"

I'm an old lady. That's the bottom line.

[Danielle9608]

Ok, this is idiotic, but am I the only one not on Facebook or Myspace? I know there have to be others, right?

My mother sent me an e-mail last night to tell me that she sent D a Facebook message telling him that she's sorry about the loss of J. Ok, one, why does my mother have Facebook? And, two, why the hell is she using it to contact my friends who she doesn't know? Egad. And slightly creepy.

I just know this is going to open the door for "So...your mom has a Facebook - why don't you?"

I'm an old lady. That's the bottom line.
Nope I don't have it either! I swear I will be the last person on the planet that doesn't if it comes to that.

[f77g4]

LOL kinda funny.

I have facebook but not myspace although I think I did at one time can't really remember. My mom also has facebook and MSN and my grandmother even has MSN.

Plus my cousin went to Korea like 2 months ago and now has my grandmother using Skype.

[gwenshack]

Nope I don't have it either! I swear I will be the last person on the planet that doesn't if it comes to that.

We'll be the last two...
I think some people have gotten super dependent on this stuff. I didn't get invited to a close friend's birthday party one time because she invited everyone via Myspace and then she got MAD because I wasn't there! Um, you didn't invite me and I knew nothing about it! :winktongue:

[Mrs.Goff]

I have a myspace. I had lost touch with my high school friends and thanks to myspace I found my 3 best friends from high school 10 years later. My DH has one and has only logged in twice. haha He wouldn't have one at all if I hadn't set it up for him. ;)

[amisteratwisterandme]

We'll be the last two...
I think some people have gotten super dependent on this stuff. I didn't get invited to a close friend's birthday party one time because she invited everyone via Myspace and then she got MAD because I wasn't there! Um, you didn't invite me and I knew nothing about it! :winktongue:


I'm like that with my cell phone. Everyone keeps harping on me to get a blackberry so I can be online every where.

I tell them it's bad enough that when I don't answer my phone, they text, and if I don't answer that they send an email, and if I'm not at the computer, they call my mom or fh!

Why would I want to get a phone that has more ways of getting a hold of me? If I didn't answer, there's usually a reason.

[gwenshack]

I'm like that with my cell phone. Everyone keeps harping on me to get a blackberry so I can be online every where.

I tell them it's bad enough that when I don't answer my phone, they text, and if I don't answer that they send an email, and if I'm not at the computer, they call my mom or fh!

Why would I want to get a phone that has more ways of getting a hold of me? If I didn't answer, there's usually a reason.

OMG I think we're related!
DH gives me the hardest time because my phone calls people and texts and THAT IS IT. It doesn't even have a camera. Hahahaha :)
Meanwhile DH has the Palm with 8000 applications and is constantly pulling that thing out to do whatever.
I'm with you - privacy is diminishing more and more and more and people get so impatient if they can't get ahold of you ASAP! I mean, when I was growing up we didn't even have an answering machine! If nobody picked up you just had to call back! People are so used to instant gratification now.
I was one of the few people in CA that was super excited when they passed the law that you can't answer the cell while driving anymore - gives me an excuse to sit in silence and not have to talk to people! I don't have a headpiece so they'll just have to wait...:)

[gwenshack]

P.S. DH calls me a little old lady...haha :)

[gwenshack]

Holy hangover batman! Actually, I don't feel that bad, but DH is struggling I'm sure. I just have a bad taste in my mouth that I can't seem to get rid of. And I have to work this morning for some reason. I agreed to do it. Voluntarily! And then my mother comes to town today.
What were we thinking last night? You know, sometimes normal people end up smack dab in the middle of weird stiuations, which is I think what happened last night. We were at this bar near our house and somehow we ended up talking to this band and their publicist and they were all crazy. Crazy. And the publicist was "engaged" to the drummer, who claimed to have drummed for the Smashing Pumpkins for a while when they lost theirs, but they totally seemed to hate each other, and the singer kept pretending to be Australian and claimed to have been in this other band that I'd heard of, and then some of them claimed to be from Idaho and said they were going on tour with Kings of Leon. And the publicist kept yelling out things like "I haven't decided which one of you I'm gonna f&** tonight!" It was very bizarre.
But over the course of the evening, for some reason, the guys kept trying to talk to me and DH and at the end of the evening they convinced DH and I to go back to the publicists house - she lives in our neighborhood. And what we experienced there was some good old fashioned crazies trying to be rock stars. Coke on the counter and everything.
We bailed out pretty fast. But not before DH drank some Jack Daniels. Jack is never a good idea to throw on top of what you've already drank in an evening. So 3 am he's saying he doesn't feel so good. Uh oh.
I felt bad for him - I've definitely been there. So we got home ASAP. But it was still a bizarre night. Bizzare. Not one I care to repeat. DH and I always end with all these weird people trying to suck us in to their craziness.
I think this is why we have so few friends as a couple. People who are attracted to us are insane.
Oh, and the publicist - this girl, as a rock and roll publicist with a big old house with a view that somebody who's 28 years old shouldn't have - the first thing she does when she gets home is put her Ipod on to play music and what, dear friends, comes out? Michael Bolton.

Really?

Anyway, holy hangover. I think we'll have dinner with my mom and brother tonight and then come home and go to bed like a respectable early 30's married couple. We just weren't cut out to party like rock stars. We're too old for drama and nonsense.

[gwenshack]

I am so exhausted. My mom and brother have been here since Saturday evening and we have been running around like crazy people ever since. My feet - the one which I have been having problems with anyway - have been soooo achy!
I love my family, but sometimes a girl just needs to sit on her butt. Ha.
Let's see - Saturday night DH and I took them out to dinner at this place called the Stinking Rose, which is a garlic restaurant. It has really interesting decor but you end up with really STINKY breath! hahaha :)
Sunday I went over to their hotel and we hung out by the pool (where I got a little burned) and then we had lunch and walked around near UCLA. Then we came back to my place and watched the Lakers game - yay! They won - they're the champs again! :)
Yesterday we went to Disneyland all day (where I got a little burned) , today we wandered around Santa Monica (where I got a little burned) and then tonight we went by the bar to check on my friend and then we had dinner.
THEN I had them drop me off so I could sit.
I can barely connect words together to create a sentence...
I feel bad because they really want to go to the Laker victory parade tomorrow in downtown, but, let's face it, as much as I love basketball and my Lakers, I hate crowds and waiting around for hours. So I'm passing on that. But that gives me the freedom to unwind for a minute. :)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[EarlyBird]

i have not been visiting journals lately so allow me to say a couple things, im sorry about your friend, i hope your foot starts to feel better. i know being up and "entertaining" the last couple days hasnt helped.
I Love the stinking rose. haha i loooove garlic so thats prob why... we always go when we are in the area- well with my parents, dont think dh would love it!!

hope you enjoy your fam!!

[Docsgirl]

Stinking Rose....sounds like my kind of place. :D I hope you're not sunburned too badly....those pesky things are painful! If it makes you feel any better at all, I've been completely lazy since we got back from the wedding and just reading all the places you've been tired me out. Hehehe.

Hope the foot feels better!

[gwenshack]

Ok, this is bloody hilarious. My brother told me that I had to see this and I just laughed through the whole thing. I'm originally from Arlington, Virginia, just outside of D.C., and the neighborhood I lived in when I moved back there briefly after college (before realizing it was California or bust...) is a bustling area with bars, restaurants, and lots of shops and stuff. So anyway, apparently some guy posted this on youtube - "Arlington: The Rap". It's so funny...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1RMuoQnKo&feature=fvst
I'm exhausted. Today was the last day with my family. They were here a week and are leaving on a 6 am flight in the morning. Meanwhile, DH has been out camping with friends since yesterday and gets back tomorrow evening. So I have the house all to myself and can just sit here and unwind and try to rest after all the craziness of the last week. I plan on doing some laundry tomorrow and catching up on my DVR. :) Woohoo!
Edit - the neighborhood the guy is in is my old neighborhood - I meant to complete that thought...:)

[gwenshack]

Save for some much needed laundry, I did jack all day long. It was fabulous. I slept in, watched about 800 hours of tv and then did nothing some more. DH came home completely sunburned from his camping trip. I barely even got to talk to him - he ate the sushi I bought him and passed out on the couch. I made him drink some water and apply some aloe. It was sort of dark when he got home so I didn't really get to see the scope of the burn. Hopefully the advil he took will help the pain subside so he can sleep ok. Poor DH.
I don't want tomorrow to be Monday. I want to do nothing again! Hahahaha. On top of it being Monday, they are doing some work in our condo building tomorrow and the water is going to be off for hours. So hopefully I will get myself in the shower in the morning before that happens! Ew...
Do you know MC Hammer has a reality show? Yikes. Just stumbled upon that. He plays to a full house still? WTF? Hey, welcome back to 1989. Awesome. OMG - Vanilla Ice just joined him on stage. Holy crikey. Hahahaha :) I might keep it here so I can get a good laugh before I go to sleep...

[gwenshack]

I just laughed SO hard.

With the intention of finishing off a plate of food, I hear DH say "Let's see if I can make a liar out of Hormel. This says it serves four..."

I bought this snack tray that has crackers, cheese and pepperoni or some other meat (I don't know...) for him because he's a snacker. I didn't intend for him to eat it all at once! But just the way he said that completely cracked me up. :)

[Docsgirl]

Haha. That's awesome. :D

[gwenshack]

I love the weekend. DH is so busy with school that during the week I try to save up anything that needs to be discussed, stuff that I've been thinking about, and it's also when we share stories and whatever happened during the week. It's not that we DON'T talk during the week, but we do tend to avoid major conversations and we sort of just let each other do our own things. Sure, if something big came up or something bad happened, we'd drop whatever we're doing and tend to whatever situation is urgent, but, for the most part, the weekend is when we catch up.
Last night we sat for a few hours, having a few drinks, and just talking. I finally got to see his camping pictures from last weekend! I told him about my friend's housewarming party. And then we discussed our options of where we can go when we can finally sell the condo (one day...far, far away) when the economy turns around and he's finally employed. I think we both want to stay in California, but neither of us are happy in our current area - very snobby people and we just sort of feel out of place...and we really wish we were in an area where we could walk to more things. We have a pretty decent neighborhood for walking to the grocery, bank, a couple of restaurants, etc, but to go OUT to shop or have a nice dinner or drinks or whatever...not as convenient. We've discussed leaving California altogether, just because we could save so much money if we moved to Vegas or Phoenix or something - but DH just hates the heat. I love it, but we'd totally have to start over since we have NOTHING there. No friends, no family, no connections for his career. Well, not that we have family here either...but we don't think it would be healthy for us to live near either of our families. Not that we don't love our families respectively.
So last night I told DH that I wish we could move to the Valley - where I used to live - which isn't even that far from here, but there is a climate switch when you cross over the mountains. We're right by the beach now and it's a lot cooler over here in the summer. In the Valley, 100+ temps, but life is cheaper there and the people are a lot more friendly and down to earth. And we'd still be in Los Angeles, where I've always wanted to be. Before, DH has been so insistent on not moving to the Valley, but I felt a little budging last night...progress? Maybe...:)
Regardless, the weekends are great, because I love just sitting down and having dialogue with DH. I love the fact that I like my husband. :)

[gwenshack]

So I have some dumb drama going on that totally involves me but I SO didn't do! I'm gonna vomit it out here and then forget about it. :bbeek:
So. When I moved back to D.C. for a little while back in 2000 I used to be friends with this guy named "J". When we met, he was sober and working the program, but had a serious alcohol problem that he had stuggled with for a reeeeally long time. When he relapsed, I tried to remain friends with him, but his drinking was insane, he would disappear for days and people would think he was dead, he would pass out in random locations and would somehow end up camped out on my floor, he would drink cooking sherry when he couldn't get his hands on anything else, and when I had completely had it with our friendship I bailed. We were friends for three months when he was sober and then it took about 3 months of him drinking for me to say sayonara. It's not that I didn't care about him, but I care about myself more. It was hurtful to see my friend slowly killing himself and he was constantly a disruptive force in my life.

When I moved back to California not being friends with him, of course, became easier. What didn't become easy for me was knowing that certain people that I am friends with go out drinking with him. I think that's so irresponsible because it implies that they condone his drinking. Apparently he has gotten a lot less wild-man with his drinking, but he still has a HUGE problem, so because he doesn't get kicked out of the bars it's ok? But I digress. The fact that other people drink with him isn't important to the story, it's just a point of contention.

Anyway, I have another friend, "A", who I've been friends for about as long as I've known "J". "A" was happily dating this girl named "B" for a year or so (and "A" and "B" are significantly younger that "J" - "A" is 26, "B" is 21 and "J" is 35) - they made a great couple and I'd never seen "A" happier. He's a really special person, really smart, funny, and loyal. He was really in love with "B". I recently heard that "A" and "B" broke up and was really upset about that because I knew that "A" was probably really hurt by the breakup.

Anyway, so "drunk J" asked a friend of mine for my e-mail address. She told me that he wanted it and that she gave it to him but I didn't ask why. I never heard from him.

Meanwhile, I talked to my friend "L". I asked him if he had any idea why "drunk J" would want to contact me. He said that "B" ("A's" ex) had told him that she was coming out to California on a trip and that "drunk J" and her were travelling together. Um, apparently 21 year old "B" and 35 year old "drunk J" are dating? WTF? And "L" believes that "B" cheated on "A" with "J". Confused yet?

So anyway, when "B" told "L" that they were going to call me when they were out here, "L" said not to bother if "drunk J" would be with her. Ok, first of all, do I want to see them if they come out here? Probably not, but that's for ME to say...By "L" saying what he did, it's just going to stir up drama...and second of all, his implication that my reasoning would be because "drunk J" would be with HER is completely off base. I'm not friends with "drunk J" because I can't stand his lifestyle. It has nothing to do with not liking him. Whereas, hanging out with "B" after she allegedly cheated on "A", who I'm still friends with, would be COMPLETELY f'ed up on my part.

Ok, that was all a blob of letters that probably made no sense. Here's why I'm upset. My friend spoke for me and said I wouldn't want to hang out with these people. We never had any conversation about it and he should have let me speak for myself. It's a really close-knit community and all kinds of people are going to hear that I snubbed these random people - when my friend was instead the one to snub the idea of them visiting with me in California before I even knew they were thinking about coming.

I wouldn't have minded hanging out with J, not at a bar, mind you - meeting up for coffee or something - but the fact that he's now dating this girl, who was seriously dating my friend, gives me pause that by hanging out with them I would be disloyal to my friend. Regardless, I think it's messed up that she's now dating this drunk guy who's too old for her and if she cheated on my friend with my ex-friend then that's especially messed up.

No matter what and all the who said what, I just wish that I could have spoken for myself.

Sorry for this inexplicably stupid post...haha :)

[f77g4]

Man that sucks Gwen - I hate when people just assume and speak for you.

That is a bit of a messed up story....hope everything works out.

[Danielle9608]

Gwen,
I know you are upset with "L" for stepping over the line and speaking for you but I am sure he did it to protect you from the stress the situation was going to cause. He probably didn't know that by doing so, it only caused more. Sometimes people do dumb things with the best of intentions. Best wishes with all of this! I hope you can stay out of all the drama.

[gwenshack]

Man that sucks Gwen - I hate when people just assume and speak for you.

That is a bit of a messed up story....hope everything works out.

LOL...you were able to understand that story? I confused MYSELF trying to type it! hahahahaha :) Thanks...!

[gwenshack]

Gwen,
I know you are upset with "L" for stepping over the line and speaking for you but I am sure he did it to protect you from the stress the situation was going to cause. He probably didn't know that by doing so, it only caused more. Sometimes people do dumb things with the best of intentions. Best wishes with all of this! I hope you can stay out of all the drama.

Thanks Danielle...
I know that. L didn't do it with any evil intent. I'm not mad - just - waiting for the other shoe to drop when I go back to DC in a month to visit. Somebody - guaranteed - is going to say something...and put me on the spot.
I hate drama! hahaha :)

[f77g4]

LOL...you were able to understand that story? I confused MYSELF trying to type it! hahahahaha :) Thanks...!

Surprisingly I did follow - although I did have to reread parts at times..lol

[Mrs.Goff]

I followed along quite easily and I would be upset too. I hate when people speak for me. Some things you just need to say yourself. As for "B" cheating on "A", sure it sucks but in the long run "A" will be better off.

[gwenshack]

So I finally started working on my Bridal Memories book that my MOH gave me. It's funny though, because it's this totally traditional looking book and then my MOH used all these stickers to write out all this smart a$$ stuff in the book, so I felt more comfortable using it because she'd already dirtied it up, Gwen-style, for me. I'm only half using it as intended - filling in the relevant info, but then I'm taking some of the random photos people gave us, plus what's usable from the disposable cameras, and taping in images from the day. So it's turned into a scrapbook sort of deal. But I'm totally enjoying doing it. :) I like that I've finally gotten some free time to do stuff like this again.
I had so much wedding stuff lying around here, waiting for me to do something with it. So it's nice to finally dive in. :chimp:

[gwenshack]

So I have to go to the grocery store right now...but I really don't want to! :bbeek: I'm just so blaaaah today. All I can think about is stalling until next Wednesday when we go away for our belated honeymoon. That's a lot of days to BS through! Poor DH - he's working so hard on school stuff right now. I can tell he's stressed.
Meanwhile he tells me that he's felt the floor "moving" the past couple of days. Well that's not AT ALL scary - either the building is shifting, we've been having little earthquakes, or DH is crazy. I've felt nothing, so it could quite possibly be the latter!
I talked to my best friend today and apparenty my faux niece is smiling now. Here's a new pic to prove it!
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0223.jpg
Ok, I admit it. She's cute. But, sorry mom, it just doesn't make me want to go out and pick up one of my own...:winktongue:

[Danielle9608]

He felt the floor moving, eh? Have fun on your belated honeymoon! BTW your faux niece is so adorable!!

[f77g4]

Oh Gwen she is precious!

Wow your DH is feeling the floor moving? Ugh - hope it's nothing serious!

[Docsgirl]

She's adorable! :D That's weird about the floor moving....mini quakes would be my guess?

[gwenshack]

Thanks everybody! I'll post more pics of the faux niece as they become available! :)

I'm super PO'ed at DH right now. He's an hour late coming home and hasn't called. He usually gets home around 10:30 PM - 11 at the latest. It's 11:45 PM right now and counting. So, of course, in typical wife fashion I'm sitting here biting my nails (ok, not literally...) and thinking the worst. And then I'm trying not to think the worst but I just annoyed that he hasn't called and then I'm trying to tell myself that as long as he's ok it's a small price to pay (the annoyance). I haven't called yet because I don't want to seem like the nagging wife - we're pretty good about letting each other be - but if he's not here in 14 minutes I'm calling.

*Tapping nails anxiously on keyboard...* :icon_barbar::jpticked::confused::chair::boggle::r ealmad::bawling::boxing: *apparently I have a lot of emotions to convey this evening...LOL*

[gwenshack]

Update...

Home safely, just insensitive...:winktongue:

[Docsgirl]

Glad to hear he's home safe. I hate when DH has to work late or nights. But....he'll never know that. lol

[gwenshack]

Glad to hear he's home safe. I hate when DH has to work late or nights. But....he'll never know that. lol

Yeah, I think the "he'll never know" is the best approach for me as well. I don't care about him being out late at night if it's expected. Most people, approaching midnight would think "Hmmm, maybe somebody's worried about me..." but not my DH...!
I didn't say much about it when he came home, just asked why he was so late, but in a really breezy noncommital tone....he said school, I said I was a little worried, he said so did you hear Nine Inch Nails is going to add 15 more shows and 5 of them will be in LA in small venues? So the topic changed, he went off to play World of Snorecraft (or so I call it) and I danced into the bedroom to watch Craig Ferguson. And all was well with the world - allegedly at least...I was still a little miffed but I stifled it...haha :)

[f77g4]

I hate when they are late and don't call.

I don't know how many times I've had to stall the cooking process because FH has decided to stand around and chat for an hour! Like hello! LOL

[gwenshack]

So all kinds of news from bizarro land today...
First of all, I think I've mentioned that my mom finalized her divorce to my step-father recently. If I haven't, then, um, my mom finalized her divorce to my step-father recently...! :winktongue: Their marriage was weird, rushed into, and just a little off from the start. Mostly because he's a pathological liar. I've known that for a long time - he worked at my high school and he'd tell people that he used to be an NFL player, a ninja, a cab driver - you name it, he did it or he knew about it. If you brought up pottery making in 18th century Belguim he'd try to tell you that he knew what kind of clay they used. It drove me nuts. Over time I just sort of learned to sift through the insanity and I came to appreciate him as a person, but the lies really started to catch up with him from my mom's perspective and she eventually decided she had had it.
Fast forward to the separation - as stated, he works where I went to high school, and my mom used to work there as well. So they know a LOT of people there and that place is like TMZ - gossip central. It's kind of sick how fast a rumor starts and gets out of control there. So anyway, he tells my mom that he doesn't want to tell people about the divorce until the school year is over because he doesn't want to deal with the rumor mill and the constant questions. I.E. - more lies. My mom, who is a little bit of a fan of drama, agrees to go along with this plan, for whatever reason. So she doesn't tell anybody they're getting divorced. Little by little though, she's leaked it to some of her friends and acquaintances.
So now the divorce has been final for a couple of weeks and the school year is over. And he's still pretending that they're still together! He ran into this woman, a teacher at the school, who is very good friends with someone my mom is really good friends wtih, and she asked him what his summer plans were. He told her that he and my mom and the whole family, including my husband and I who live 3,000 miles away, were all going to go away together and spend 10 days in Myrtle Beach, SC. Um, we are? So this woman, who didn't know anything about the divorce, casually says to my mom's friend that it's so nice that my step-father and his entire family are going to get to go away together...my mom's friend is like "Whaaaa?"
So he's not just pretending they are still together, he's making up vacation plans!
This isn't the first time he's done this - right before my wedding he told my mom that he and I had discussed him coming out here for vacation this summer to spend time with DH and myself. He was trying, obviously, to make my mom think that I was still cool with him and on his side. So my mom calls and tells me this. Again, "Whaaaaaa?" Obviously my mom believed me, seeing as I'm somebody who prides herself in living an honest life, but I think it's really messed up that he's dragging me into his web of lies.
Here's the thing I don't get...wouldn't life be so much less complicated if he lived in an honest manner? Don't the lies just get freaking exhausting? Trying to keep all that craziness straight? Egad. I can't even imagine. And I think that it is way more humiliating to be called out on a lie than to admit that you're getting divorced. :huh:
Again, welcome to my bizarro world. :winktongue:

[NOTKT]

Ugh, he does sound exhausting.

[Docsgirl]

Eeep! We have a crazy like that in our family too. It's the worst when said person acts totally oblivious too....like they think you totally just bought whatever they said. :chicken:

Haha. That's crazy that he's still pretending they're together though. Makes you wonder how long...?

[gwenshack]

So I've been pushing my mom to go out there and take life by the balls. For 32 years she's been playing mommy and housewife, and, frankly, it's time she did something impulsive.
I know impulse isn't for everyone - but I think living life as selfishly as you can once in a while is good for the soul. :bbeek:
No, seriously...it's weird, because she started pumping out babies when she was 22 - now she's 54. When was the last time, if at ever, she just lived life for herself? Um, never. She went from her father's house, to my father's house, to living with her now ex second husband...never one moment of running free. No time to figure out who she is and what SHE wants. Now her youngest kid is 22 and she still thinks she needs to be 24/7 mommy. NO! Get out! Go do something!
Meanwhile, I totally ran rampant during my 20's - I did stuff by myself, lived alone, vacationed alone, got in my car and drove 3,000 miles because I felt like it. I lived a REALLY selfish life. Sure, sometimes I was lonely, and meeting DH certainly has given me a good compromise between constantly wandering and grasping for independence and having a companion, but I was never bored!
Anyway, I've been giving my mom hell about waking up in the morning and asking herself "What do I want to do today?" Well, today she impulsively booked a trip to go to Atlantic City next week ALONE. On a whim. She's never done anything like that before!
I've never been prouder...:chimp:

[amisteratwisterandme]

.wouldn't life be so much less complicated if he lived in an honest manner? Don't the lies just get freaking exhausting? Trying to keep all that craziness straight? Egad. I can't even imagine. And I think that it is way more humiliating to be called out on a lie than to admit that you're getting divorced. :huh:
Again, welcome to my bizarro world. :winktongue:

Some people are just like that. I had a really good friend who finally lied herself out of my life. I confronted her over and over and she just built one lie upon another. I kinda feel sorry for people like that. I wonder if they do that because they don't think they are of value by themselves alone?

[gwenshack]

wonder if they do that because they don't think they are of value by themselves alone?

That's been my working theory on this for a while...

[gwenshack]

So we're scheduled to leave for our belated - and very well deserved - honeymoon on Wednesday. The plan was:
Monday - DH's final
Tuesday - DH's birthday
Wednesday - Fly to Miami, spend the night
Thursday - Wake up, get rental car, drive to Key West
This morning, DH gets an e-mail from his professor saying she moved the final to Wednesday. Uh, what? :irked: Not to sound like a total jerk face, but I paid for the trip, a lot of it is nonrefundable, and I would be out a bit of money (I bought a nonrefundable night at the hotel in Miami to get a discounted rate), not to mention charged fees plus the fare difference to change the airline tickets even if we were to leave the next day. So, as much as DH's education and career are more important than my travel plans and bank balance, I was still really POed when alerted to this new development.
I chose to not overreact and throw things, like I secretly wanted to, but that's basically the mental state I was in.
Fortunately he e-mailed the professor and negotiated taking the exam on Tuesday. Although it's his birthday, it's a better deal than totally screwing our travel plans.
Just for the record, had the professor not budged, I would have changed everything and paid the difference and not made DH feel bad about it...but in my head, in the secret little place I go where dreams are made, I would be keying that professor's car. LOL...:winktongue:

[NOTKT]

They can't just change the freaking date! Ugh and summer break too, seems silly. I'm sure she messed up a lot of people's plans.

[gwenshack]

They can't just change the freaking date! Ugh and summer break too, seems silly. I'm sure she messed up a lot of people's plans.

Yeah, seriously! You'd totally think that DH wouldn't be the only one who was planning on jetting out of town the moment the insanity ended. For most of these people, they've been in school straight through since August. I mean, they had the obvious winter break, spring break, and a week between spring and summer semesters, but nothing really substantial to speak of. But, then again, he is in night school so perhaps a lot of his schoolmates have to work the next day no matter what so it's no big deal? Ack. Who the hell knows. I'm just SO glad that the professor agreed to have someone administer the test to him on Tuesday. Phew.

I'm still super nervous though - the little "what if" monster crept in last night with his many hypothetical anxiety-riddled questions. Like, what if DH gets to school on Tuesday to take the exam and there is NOT anyone there to give it to him?!?

*Trying to ignore the what if monster...*

I did something today I rarely ever do - I got in the car and drove to the mall. I used to do that ALL the time, but lately...eh...not something that I wake up and feel like doing. But it was fun actually. I bought myself a shirt - although I'm scared because it's this off the shoulder number that has a big neck hole and all I can think about is L.A. Gear circa 1985. Are the 80's making a comeback? And am I going along with it?!? Yikes.
I also bought something cute from Fredericks of Hollywood for the belated honeymoon. Now, I'm not a flashy girl, and I'm certainly not a trashy girl, so I was going for something cute, but not slutty. So I had a specific vision in mind. Also, I'm a big girl. I'm really capable of browsing bras and underwear and the other little danties they sell in there on my own. But the sales girls in there are PUSHY! Don't you want a thong to match that? Oh did you see this? It's so cute ON!
Um, I don't want to think about you seeing people with that on!
And they kept calling me "honey" and "sweetie" - reminds me of the "ma'am" thread - I think FOH is one of the few places I'd prefer being called "ma'am", as opposed to the stuff they were tossing out at me.
Maybe I'm the only one who prefers to sort of just quietly pick through underwear. Maybe other people like to discuss their bra choices with one of the overfriendly FOH consultants. Maybe I'm just a big prude? :bbredface:
Regardless, I just wanted to get out of there.
You know, I used to work in a department store one summer. I was a floater, so I would in whatever department they felt was short that day - and a few times I did indeed work in lingerie. I can't think of once when I didn't just ask "Can I help you find anything?", "Do you need a fitting room?" or "Let me know if you need anything..." I just don't think I could have suggested that a particular skimpy lace thingie would look good on someone else. It just seems, um, personal! :bbeek:
Ok, maybe I am a prude!

Moving on, I also got DH some grill tools for his grill I got him last year. His birthday is Tuesday. I bought him 2 shirts already and we've agreed that for our respective birthdays (mine is late August) we'll buy season passes to Disneyland and it'll be the gift that keeps on giving. But we have to buy those at the same time so that they'll expire at the same time. I wanted to get him something besides the shirts and the D-land pass since his family gave him his birthday gifts 2 months ago. I think I told you all this. His mother, when we went to Texas for his niece's graduation, turned the night before we left into a celebration of "summer birthdays" and she gave us birthday presents months before our birthdays. I believe I speculated at the time that she realized the gifts she gets him aren't worth the postage to mail them. Ok, that's mean of me to say, but I swear to you, I don't think this woman knows him at all. Regardless, no gifts for DH to open on his birthday besides mine. So I wanted to try to make it look good. I hope she at least CALLS on his birthday!

*MIL is sort of weird...*

The other thing I got at the mall was this little pink wristlet that my mom kept going to look at when she was out here. It was $47 and she made us go to Macy's TWICE for her to look at it. My brother and I were like JUST BUY IT WOMAN! but she hemmed and hawed and was all around annoying about it and decided not to buy it. I could tell she wanted it but there was some weird little hold up in her brain about it. So I went to Macy's today and picked it up - one left and it was marked down and I paid $27 for it. So I just need to keep my mouth shut about it (I tend to get excited about things I buy for other people and tell them about stuff I got them) until November so I can give it to her for her birthday.

So it was a pretty productive day! :)

[f77g4]

Sounds like a great trip to the mall Gwen! Your mom is going to freak when you give her that bracelet - I'm sure! Especially since she kept looking at it. Now don't say anything...lol!

I bet you're so excited about your belated honeymoon! I would be! :)

And I'm the same way mostly when it comes to bras and that sort of thing....plus regardless of what store it is, I hate pushy sales people - enough to make me leave the store.

[gwenshack]

So I've been asking DH for over a week now what he wants to do for his birthday (tomorrow). Finally, last night, a friend of his texted him to ask him what he's doing for his birthday, so around midnight last night DH decides to motivate and figure out what he wants to do. Of course he has that whole obstacle of taking his exam during the afternoon, and his school is an hour and a half commute from here, so he's talking about having me drive down with the flow of the traffic to meet him down there after his test. Faaaaaaabulous. I told him I'd do anything he wanted me to do - and I will - but secretly I was sort of hoping we'd do something closer to home, seeing as we have to leave the next day. And all those last minute trip preparations aren't going to do themselves. I just hate the idea of losing all that time sitting in traffic. But I'll do it...it's his birthday and I love him...and he'll never know that I had a lovely little vent about it. :winktongue:

[Danielle9608]

Men - Always last minute :irked: Sorry you are going to have to sit in traffic.

[gwenshack]

So, today has been a little drama filled.

Woke up and gave DH his birthday presents - yay! Happy birthday to him! :) He retired to his office to do his last minute studying and I hopped in my car, off to run last minute errands for the trip. Fortunately all of those errands can be done in my immediate neighborhood - I'm walking distance to pretty much anything you'd need - but I typically venture down to Malibu for supplies, since that was where I started when I moved out here and everyone down there knows me and I like to be a loyal customer and visit with people whenever I can. Of course, being that Murphy's Law always applies, my car started making a horrible screeching noise. :irked: Spun around, took it to a gas station up the street, they said they'd see if they could fix it and they'd also service my car for me since I'm about 150 miles away from the next scheduled service. The guy called and said he got the noise to stop and that he needed to replace the air filter - $18 - go for it. So my car is being taken care of and hopefully the problem doesn't just have a temporary band-aid on it and it won't start up again.

Then...as soon as I started feeling pretty good, DH comes in and tells me that he just got an e-mail from the Dean saying that his exam was again moved to tomorrow. WTF? So he e-mails the person who's supposed to proctor it and she said, no, still scheduled for today at 2. So he's afraid that he's going to get down there and they're not going to have the test there and ready for him to take. :bbeek: So there's still a chance that our vacation plans will be messed up. We're scheduled to leave TOMORROW and we're still not 100% sure that's actually going to happen. :irked: He's waiting to here back from the proctor, hoping that she'll have sorted out the mess.

I better land in Florida tomorrow. Gwen will be a very unhappy camper if she loses a bunch of money on this. At this point, rescheduling the tickets to Miami may, in and of itself, be difficult to do, and even if we can get another flight in the next couple of days, it will probably be jacked up super expensive between the change fee and the fare difference.

So I'm just going to sit here and tap my fingers on the keyboard and hope that everything works out. Worse comes to worst I'm taking the loss, the credit with American Airlines toward a future ticket, and we get in the car and drive to Vegas. I haven't told DH that yet, but I'm going SOMEWHERE. LOL...:chimp:

[f77g4]

Hope the car is working A-1 now and that DH was able to write his exam (successfully of course).

I hope you guys get to go on your long-awaited honeymoon!!!

Have fun!

[NOTKT]

How did it go!?!?!?!

[gwenshack]

How did it go!?!?!?!

Okay, update. It's 6:30 PM almost and DH has been gone for several hours, so I HAVE to assume that they gave him his test. It was supposed to start at 2, so if he didn't take it then he has a lot of 'splainin' to do about where he's been for the past few hours...haha :) I think everything is going to work out for our trip. HOORAY!

As for the car, when I got it back I drove it around the block a couple of times and it was noise-free...so I can only hope it stays that way!

I think things are looking up!

[NOTKT]

woot! that IS good news!

[f77g4]

Good to hear!

Have a good vacation! And a safe one too!

[gwenshack]

So it's been a little crazy around here! :bbeek:
After our Key West vacation, we were a little up in the air about whether we were coming or going, since DH's grandmother's condition seemed so unpredictable. She seems to be holding her own now, but for a minute there we thought we'd be on a plane to Iowa. Fortunately that didn't end up being the case - DH is going on Wednesday, but moreso because her birthday is coming up and less because she seems on the verge of death.
My trip to VA is Thursday, and it doesn't seem like I'm going to see my car anytime before then. So frustrating.
Meanwhile, I had a dream the other night! Well, a nightmare actually. Friday night I dreamed that it was two weeks before the wedding and DH told me that he'd changed his mind. I didn't do anything, nothing had happened, he just decided that he didn't want to marry me. Meanwhile I'm like begging him. A pathetic display of begging and pleading. And all he said, matter of factly at that, was no.
I woke up SO FREAKED OUT! Of course then I realized that I was already married and he wasn't going anywhere, but it still totally shook me up. I kept like hugging him all day! LOL :)

[Mrs.Goff]

I have dreams like that. Dreams where DH tells me it's over and then he completely ignores me. Sometimes he's horribly mean to me. I don't know what causes them but I've woke up with tears streaming down my face more then once. I hate those dreams.

[kgvettegirl]

I have those dreams too. It makes me appreciate RC all that much more. Nothing like being made aware of what you stand to lose should you not give those extra hugs and kisses. RC bursts out laughing every time I thank him for making sure I "O". He says he is just doing his job, but I don't want him to ever think I don't appreciate it or take it for granted.

[EarlyBird]

what a crappy dream. I dont remember any dreams that are not nightmares hahaha never remember good ones. I had a bad dream about mike leaving about 3 weeks before the wedding. hahah i woke up in that same state of panic

[gwenshack]

I got my car back! WOO HOO! :)

That's all. :)

[gwenshack]

DH needs to go to the airport today. He leaves today, I leave tomorrow. I asked him last night what time we needed to leave this morning and he said 9:30.

8:30 AM - Gwen's alarm goes off.
8:32 AM - Gwen's husband holds her tight, trying to soothe her back to sleep so he'll miss his plane
8:34 AM - Gwen asks DH if he wants some breakfast - he said no
8:35 AM - Gwen gets DH's suitcase and his clean laundry out and puts them on the bed - almost, but not quite, on top of DH
8:36 AM - DH starts packing. Gwen thinks we're on the right track.
8:37 AM - Gwen goes into kitchen and makes herself a breakfast sandwich.
2 minutes and 35 seconds later she turns on her computer to read OW while she eats. DH comes in and asks her why she didn't make him one. Um, see 8:34 AM mister!
8:47 AM or so - Gwen informs DH she's going to take a shower. DH is reading movie titles on the internet, unshowered, and still not completely packed, trying to decide if he wants to download a movie.
9:10 AM - Gwen has finished showering, dressing, and blow drying her hair. DH is still sitting in front of the computer.
9:15 AM - Gwen sits down at the computer to see how this will play out.
9:21 AM - Gwen hears DH finally turn on the shower
9:23 AM - Shower just turned off

Ok, how is it - seriously - that he always has to run everything down to the wire? Typically, when I have to go to the airport, and I know this will be true of me tomorrow, I'm ready a good 15 minutes before I need to be and then I pace around to make sure I didn't forget anything, eventually just deciding to go ahead and go early because at least sitting in the airport I've already gone through security and can just relax and wait.

9:25 AM - Did I just hear him open the ironing board? Dude, get a move on. Go wrinkled. Otherwise you're not going at all...LOL :)

[gwenshack]

9:34 AM - Yeah, I'm definitely hearing ironing happen.

[Mrs.Goff]

haha ... I leave for everything way early because I can't stand arriving late. DH on the other hand doesn't rush for anything.

I think your DH meant 9:30ish. hehe

[f77g4]

So exactly what time did he leave?? LOL

[gwenshack]

So exactly what time did he leave?? LOL

I think it was about 9:50 or so. :) I know he made the plane though...

[amisteratwisterandme]

I use (ISH) all the time. That is my way of never being late. :bbeek:

[f77g4]

I think it was about 9:50 or so. :) I know he made the plane though...

Well at least he made the plane!

[gwenshack]

DH is out of school ever so briefly so I said we have to take advantage of this time that he has off because next time we're going to have time like this will be when he's retired and we're too old to care. LOL.

What we did today...

Hopped on the bus

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0819.jpg

Went to Venice Beach

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0822.jpg

Went out to lunch and had sangria

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0823.jpg

Went up the street and had margaritas

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0826.jpg

And then roamed along the Venice Canals...

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0827.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0828.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0831.jpg

Tonight we're going out for tacos and beer. It's gonna suck when he goes back to school...!

[f77g4]

Awww sounds like a great day!! :)

[Mrs.Goff]

Sounds like you had a great day.

[Docsgirl]

Sounds like fun!! :D

[NOTKT]

I'm so jealous! Looks like you had a great time!

[gwenshack]

Thanks everybody! Yeah, we had fun...so we decided to keep it going yesterday...!

We went to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) to see the exhibit on Pompeii, but I took a few pics outside because they had some great stuff set up on the exterior of the building.

This was just a great pic as we were walking from the car to the museum...
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0832-1.jpg



http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0834.jpg

They had this exterior piece that was a bunch of street lamps. I thought it was pretty cool.


http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0836.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0837.jpg

Then they had all these hanging plastic buckets and stuff - too fun!
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0838.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0840.jpg

After the museum we went to dinner at a Persian restaurant we'd never tried before and then we went out to a random bar. They had these dumb screen you could play games on - we didn't put money in but we had a good time laughing at the names people put in when they got a top score. One guy's screen name was "anal leakage", which totally reminded me of those chips with O'Lean or O'Lestra or whatever it is in them and the packaging always said "Oh yeah, these chips are lowering in fat, but you may have an array of bowel problems including anal leakage..." Um, I'll pass on the chips. Thanks though.

Here are a couple of pics of us being dumb in the bar
http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0841.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0843.jpg

I'm rather enjoying this whole making the most of the summer idea!

[f77g4]

Sounds like another great day - I"m looking forward to days like that too!

[gwenshack]

We had another fun evening last night. We went to Santa Monica and ate at this Spanish tapas restaurant that we really like. Since DH spent a month in Spain last summer as part of a school group, he's been all about all things Spanish. And he really liked the food. There have always been Spanish restaurants around LA, but this one opened pretty much right after he got back and they are pretty good with their authenticity. And their sangria...LOL...
From there we walked down to the Santa Monica Pier, where we hit up the arcade to be funny. We played skee ball and won tickets to redeem for plastic junk. I got a very junky plastic car. Ron picked a whole bunch of stupid little plastic stuff - including a plastic ring with a huge spider on it for me. I named the spider Matilda. I have no idea why...hahaha
Then we played some game where you have to shoot zombies. This was on the machine as a warning - totally cracked me up.

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0844.jpg

Then we went out onto the Pier and wandered around and I tried to take a decent picture. Sometimes DH is rather unhelpful in that capacity and will do things like this.

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0852.jpg

Eventually we got a couple good ones...

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0859.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0853.jpg


Then we went up the street to this new wine tasting bar, where you buy a card for a certain amount of money, stick it in what is essentially a wine vending machine and you can try an ounce of different types of wine.

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0860.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0862.jpg

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0864.jpg

So all in all it was another fun night!

We still haven't heard any more updates about DH's grandmother, which I don't know if I should be grateful about or if I should be worried about it. I just feel like every time DH's cell phone rings it's potentially his mother calling to say that the grandmother passed. So I've been trying to be really careful about approaching him after he's been on the phone with anyone. It's such a weird time - we're basically sitting around and waiting to hear that someone died. :bbeek: It's sort of unsettling, ya know?

Anyway, hope everyone's having a good weekend!

[f77g4]

Sounds like another amazing night!!

[gwenshack]

So, suddenly, out of the ether, DH comes at me the other day with this:

Do you want to go to Yosemite tomorrow?

Uh, no...?

Ok, first of all, here's something you should know about me. My idea of camping is a Four Seasons with room service and people spritzing me down on the pool deck. I don't camp. I have - twice now - with DH, and I was a good sport about it and everything. Wilderness Gwen made the most of it and tried to enjoy herself, despite the number of wet wipes I used. I hiked, I waded, I played in the dirt. I even collected wood. Gwen - Good Sport.

But the idea of camping doesn't really appeal to me. At all. Especially in a spur of the moment sort of fashion. Look, DH loves all that cr@p and good for him. I don't begrudge his animal instinct to roll around in the dirt and pee outside. If he's happy, I'm happy, but I'm just really a fan of running water.

Yosemite is beautiful - we went up there 2 summers ago - totally beautiful. And I know DH really wants to go - so...ok...he's going alone on Thursday. Hey, that's part of the deal. I do stuff alone all the time! I just always feel bad when I say no to things he wants to do - I feel massive guilt denying him. (I'm not sure he reciprocates that guilt when HE says no though...haha) I'm gonna feel horrible - poor DH, all alone out in the woods with only his campfire to keep him company. He better not get eaten by a bear! :bbeek: But I just can't do it. Guilt isn't enough. I just can't become Wilderness Gwen overnight. It takes a long process of psyching myself into doing stuff like that. So off he goes alone. Meanwhile, what will I do with MYSELF while he's gone? What kind of trouble can I get into? :bbeek: LOL...

Meanwhile, I'm not really sure him trekking up to Yosemite is the smartest idea right now. With the grandmother situation still in limbo, the possibility remains he could drive the multiple hours up there and then have to turn right around and come back. And I don't remember cell service being all that reliable up there in the first place. Yikes. Hopefully everything will be ok.

And, again, I really hope he doesn't get eaten by a bear. :panda:

[Mrs.Goff]

My DH loves all that outside hiking, fishing and camping sort of stuff. I on the other hand don't enjoy it at all.

I'm hoping that your DH doesn't get eaten by a bear that would suck in so many ways.

[FutureMrsWilson]

Oh! Oh!

I'LL GO!! :ura1:

Haha - but that does stink when the whole guilt-trip thing comes in. For me, its kind of the opposite, though. His bestfriend and future best man lives IN Atlanta - like ATLANTA.

...My Town PLUS the closest town population is ~300.. Our mail goes to that other town, because we don't even have a post office. Or a gas station for that matter.

WHY would I want to go to Atlanta to have fun? Atlanta is crowded and smoggy and dirty and driving 5 miles takes 45 minutes (but also I travel all the time, so I seriously get tired of cities and hotels). xD Now, I LOVE camping - so... Yosemite sounds AMAZING!

[gwenshack]

Oh! Oh!

I'LL GO!! :ura1:

Haha - but that does stink when the whole guilt-trip thing comes in. For me, its kind of the opposite, though. His bestfriend and future best man lives IN Atlanta - like ATLANTA.

...My Town PLUS the closest town population is ~300.. Our mail goes to that other town, because we don't even have a post office. Or a gas station for that matter.

WHY would I want to go to Atlanta to have fun? Atlanta is crowded and smoggy and dirty and driving 5 miles takes 45 minutes (but also I travel all the time, so I seriously get tired of cities and hotels). xD Now, I LOVE camping - so... Yosemite sounds AMAZING!

LOL...it's all about perspective I guess...haha :) I'd rather spend the weekend somewhere smoggy and dirty...of course I live in Los Angeles...lol :)

[FutureMrsWilson]

Well, I will say this job has definitely made me appreciate some things about Cities. Easy access to restaurants - and a HUGE variety of food, shopping, museums, etc - that can be really nice on a bored weekend or when you're all by yourself.. But I really respect some of you for being able to put up with the insane amount of traffic and noise on a regular basis :bbeek:

LA - that's one place I was kind of sad I didn't get sent to. Everyone there had a GREAT time.

[gwenshack]

DH left at 6 am this morning for his wilderness experience. Let's just hope it doesn't become a nightmare from Hee Haw. ;)

I felt really bad though about him going alone. He asked me a bunch of times if I had changed my mind, so I felt really guilty like I was letting him down. Turns out, he felt really guilty about leaving me alone, like he was letting ME down. So once we hashed out that neither of us was letting the other down, we just decided we'd miss each other for a few days and we went on with our evening. :soppy:

[Danielle9608]

Sorry you are all alone Gwen! But look at it this way ... you have the remote all to yourself for a few days :)

[gwenshack]

Sorry you are all alone Gwen! But look at it this way ... you have the remote all to yourself for a few days :)


Thanks Danielle! :) It's funny, I see another pro besides the remote...I told my mom earlier that I was looking forward to being able to clean something and know that for the next four days that it'll REMAIN clean!

[gwenshack]

I cleaned the bathroom today that DH uses. Yeah, we used to share the master bathroom, but his noted slopiness/messiness/disgustingness drove me nuts and him into the other bathroom.
The caveat for that was that if he was going to use another bathroom he was going to have to clean it. He does...um...when company is coming. Otherwise, it's essentially a freeway rest stop. :helpsmilie:
So I went in there today with some bleach, some windex, and a brave face and got to scrubbing.
And I know it'll stay that way for at least 48 hours. I may just go sit in there for a while to take the moment in because I know it won't be that way again for a while.
I did hear from DH earlier today - he sent me a text that he was safe and having fun, so at least I know the bears haven't eaten him yet!

[gwenshack]

DH made it home. :bbmrgreen: Reunions are fun...;)

Oh, and here's a new pic of my faux-niece. She just keeps growing and growing and growing! :puppy:

http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp84/gwenshack/IMG_0412-2.jpg

[Mrs.Goff]

She's adorable! I'm glad to hear you DH made it home safe. I was worried about those bears. ;)

[NOTKT]

She is cah-ute! Love her eyes!

Glad DH made it home ok!

[gwenshack]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I'm so excited. My sister sent me an e-mail and told me that for my birthday present she bought tickets for me and DH to go see Pearl Jam and Ben Harper in October. :star::star::star::star::star:

YIPPEE!!! I've only gotten to see Pearl Jam once over the years, and they've been one of my favorite bands since I was in the tenth grade. Ahhh, the days of angst and grunge. I miss those days. hahahaha

And DH LOVES Ben Harper. Lately that's all he listens to in the car. He's going to be SO excited. I don't think he's ever seen PJ but I think he's always wanted to.

WOO HOO! :bbmrgreen:

[f77g4]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I'm so excited. My sister sent me an e-mail and told me that for my birthday present she bought tickets for me and DH to go see Pearl Jam and Ben Harper in October. :star::star::star::star::star:

YIPPEE!!! I've only gotten to see Pearl Jam once over the years, and they've been one of my favorite bands since I was in the tenth grade. Ahhh, the days of angst and grunge. I miss those days. hahahaha

And DH LOVES Ben Harper. Lately that's all he listens to in the car. He's going to be SO excited. I don't think he's ever seen PJ but I think he's always wanted to.

WOO HOO! :bbmrgreen:

Woohoo - congrats - thats an awesome b-day gift!

[ChristineLS]

That's a great gift. Enjoy! :D

[NOTKT]

Very cool! Enjoy and congrats! I've never been but I loved PJ in high school.

[Mrs.Goff]

What an awesome B-day gift. You're so lucky. I'm lucky to get happy birthdays from my family. haha

[Docsgirl]

Niiiiiiice present! :D Have fun!

[gwenshack]

Niiiiiiice present! :D Have fun!

Thanks Tara! Glad to see you on here - I'm gonna go snoop around and see if you posted any updates of your own...! :bbmrgreen:

[gwenshack]

So the birthday went pretty well. I went to a hotel/casino near San Diego for the day and night, and that was pretty fun, since DH had class all day and he didn't want me to spend the day alone (or here on OW, as the case would have been...).
So, instead, I played slot machines all day and slowly but surely felt DH's cold coming on. By the time he met me, around 7 pm, I was full blown cough/sneeze/sore throat. So that was sort of sucky. Fortunately he's feeling better, so I'm hoping I should be ok come the weekend.
We did manage to make the most of it as best we could - we had dinner and then a drink and then played slots for a few minutes but I was pretty done by that point. So I said that what I really wanted to do was go to bed and take some Nyquil. Happy birthday to me....lol...
I'm just glad it held off as long as it did. I felt HORRIBLE yesterday and today so I'm just glad that it held off going full blown. I've been in bed pretty much straight since I drove home from the casino yesterday morning. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so congested - it's been an on and off sleeping situation. A little here, a little there. I've just been trying to keep myself doped up on Tylenol Cold...haha :bbmrgreen:

[f77g4]

Happy Birthday - sorry I missed it.

I hope you feel better - I have the same thing too! Started yesterday with the throbbing sore throat and today I'm all congested and like you I can't really sleep when I'm sick...today was such a long day at work - I'm dreading tomorrow.

So did you win at the casino?

[gwenshack]

Happy Birthday - sorry I missed it.

I hope you feel better - I have the same thing too! Started yesterday with the throbbing sore throat and today I'm all congested and like you I can't really sleep when I'm sick...today was such a long day at work - I'm dreading tomorrow.

So did you win at the casino?

Nope, no winning, but I had fun, so that's all that matters. :)

Sorry you're sick too! :( Hopefully you'll be able to sleep tonight.

[f77g4]

Nope, no winning, but I had fun, so that's all that matters. :)

Sorry you're sick too! :( Hopefully you'll be able to sleep tonight.

We went to a casino for the first time on our honeymoon and lost $40 in the first 10 minutes and we were both like yeah that's enough...lol

Glad you had fun and hope you can get some sleep too!

[gwenshack]

DH got an I Phone today. Which means I will never, ever, ever see him again. All day long I've been hearing random beeps and whistles and quirky little noises emanating from his office (playroom). We went to the grocery store and he had his head firmly planted facing toward the ground, zeroed in on whatever dumb app (so close that is to dumb a$$, coincidentally) he was looking at. Ends up, he didn't say hello to the grocery checker because he was playing some game where you throw a (virtual) piece of paper at a (virtual) wastebasket in a (virtual) airport and a (virtual) person comes over and tells you to (virtually) cut it out.

Why he wouldn't rather interact with me I will never know...:laugh:

When we got home from the grocery store it was making light saber noises.

At some point, about an hour after that, as I was doing the (not virtual) dishes I called his phone.
DH: Uh, hello?
Me: Just checking to make sure it also works AS a phone...
Click.
More light saber noises.

He's having his fun. I'm in here playing on OW. :bbmrgreen:

[f77g4]

LOL oh poor you!

Thankfully DH hates cell phones and refuses to have one of any kind - even a basic one.

I was at a conference for 2.5 days this past week with a bunch of "important" people and I felt so left out - they all kept playing on their blackberries and other phones when they got bored listening to the various speakers...lol..they really are crackberries...lol

LOL thats funny that you called him...lol

[gwenshack]

LOL oh poor you!

Thankfully DH hates cell phones and refuses to have one of any kind - even a basic one.

I was at a conference for 2.5 days this past week with a bunch of "important" people and I felt so left out - they all kept playing on their blackberries and other phones when they got bored listening to the various speakers...lol..they really are crackberries...lol

LOL thats funny that you called him...lol

Crackberries. I love it. :rofl: Yeah, I don't really get it. I have a cell phone, but all it does is call people and text. It doesn't even have a camera. DH has given me SO much cr*p about how I need another phone and how he couldn't believe anyone would even SELL me this kind of phone in this day and age. But I'm way behind on technology and actually kind of like it that way. ;)

[Mrs.Goff]

I feel your pain. My dad had a Iphone and OMG, I hated to visit him. I swear that's all he would talk about the entire visit. I don't know why but he decided to get rid of the Iphone and go back to his blackberry. My DH on the other had, has a basic cell phone like you have. No camera, no games, no extras to speak of. Of course he would rather cut off his ear then talk on the phone. haha I have a Palm Centro (kind of like a blackberry) I love it. But I haven't used anything other then the phone in like 6 months. haha

I hope your DH comes out of his Iphone trance sooner rather then later. :)

[gwenshack]

I hope your DH comes out of his Iphone trance sooner rather then later. :)

Thanks Threesia! Me too! :bbmrgreen:

[kgvettegirl]

I'd just keep calling him randomly to ask him..."What do you want for dinner", "Want to get lucky" that kind of thing until it slowly penetrates the newness of the phone that he is being rude. Don't let him ignore you or others like that.
Good luck with the intervention.

[gwenshack]

I'd just keep calling him randomly to ask him..."What do you want for dinner", "Want to get lucky" that kind of thing until it slowly penetrates the newness of the phone that he is being rude. Don't let him ignore you or others like that.
Good luck with the intervention.

I love it. Thanks Liz! :bbmrgreen:

[FFC]

So that's why Matt gets upset when I'm texting (I can't text and talk at the same time) :rofl:

I like Liz's idea :)

[gwenshack]

So that's why Matt gets upset when I'm texting (I can't text and talk at the same time) :rofl:

I like Liz's idea :)

Yeah seriously, and I had already thought Liz was a diabolical genius...!

[kgvettegirl]

Yeah seriously, and I had already thought Liz was a diabolical genius...!
Ok if you really think so :bbmrgreen: Rats there isn't a smilie for blushing. I'm just an old lady who has learned a few tricks along the way, and don't wont y'all to suffer like I have.

[Docsgirl]

Ack! When DH's phone was still up to par (he broke the touchscreen in the field) he'd download all the free apps to his phone and be "gone" for hours. He had virtual spin the bottle on his phone. LOL I asked him who he thought he needed that for.

I think Liz is on to something though. Especially the "Wanna get lucky"...I don't think little phone games could beat that. Haha.