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lillypad
04-04-2009, 11:14 AM
I feel like I have been posting way to many topics this week, it has been a big wedding week.

So I am not all the close with my father or his relatives. I am having him walk me down the aisle only to avoid the massive scene he made at one of my sister's weddings a few years back, I would much rather have my mom do it.

They have little monthly family get together that I never go to, but I usually try and make it for the big events like birthdays, weddings and similar events. Well I am looking at my RSVP list and almost none of them are coming, including my half SISTER on my father's side. My half sister (the one who my dad caused a scene at her wedding) on my mothers side is my MOH.

Now I am not the closest with these people, but do not consider myself on bad terms with them. They have get together for everything, I have seen my aunts and uncles fly thousands of miles for birthdays. And almost none of these people are coming to my wedding. As of now I cannot even fill a whole 10 top table (in a 100 person wedding) with my fathers side.

I am just torn. They tend to stress me out and made me feel like a horrible person who does not attend their monthly dinners (which up until I lost my job were when I was working, fiance still works those hours). So them not being there is taking a lot stress away. At the same time I am a bit offended. Last months we drove 4 hours each direction to my sisters wedding (the one who is not coming) when we both had class the next morning at 9am because she is my sister. If I had not gone to that wedding I probably would have never heard the end of it. Now no one is coming to mine. Our wedding is actually closer for most people then hers was.

Maybe it is just because I am the last cousin to get married and everyone is just over weddings and I am just over reacting. I just do not know how to feel about this whole thing.

gwenshack
04-04-2009, 01:46 PM
Family dynamics can very understandably cause hurt feelings. You're not sure you're upset because you're not that close to them, but you feel hurt because they should want to attend. It's ok to be torn - I think that's the normal response.

Just remember that the people nearest to you, who support and love you, will be with you on that day - as will your FH! - and that's all that truly matters. :)

WebLady
04-04-2009, 04:56 PM
Family dynamics can very understandably cause hurt feelings. You're not sure you're upset because you're not that close to them, but you feel hurt because they should want to attend. It's ok to be torn - I think that's the normal response.

Just remember that the people nearest to you, who support and love you, will be with you on that day - as will your FH! - and that's all that truly matters. :)
Well said ... I feel the same ... all the best :flower:

KristinGriffin
04-04-2009, 05:39 PM
Well, it's a shame they won't make it, but maybe it's for the best...

If you say you aren't that close with them, I doubt you'll miss that they aren't there - the ones who matter in your life, and who you spend a lot of time with are going to be there, and I'm sure you'll be so busy enjoying yourself, a few missing folks won't get you down on wedding day.

Have the MIA guests called to say why they can't make it? I know that I really wanted to attend my cousin's wedding, but it was 2 weeks after I had my son, and it was just too much to travel after a c-section. I know we missed a good time, and I would have loved to have seen her wedding, but she understood, and shared the website with all the photos with us - almost as good as being there.

Chin up, I'm sure it'll be a beautiful ceremony with all your close family and friends in attendance! :)

lillypad
04-04-2009, 07:32 PM
You are all right. The day of I will probably not even notice they are missing.